Chapter Three:

The Sound of a Heart Ache

"I'm not the kind to hide such a thing. I was the one who wanted to get married in a church," Blake chided.

"I didn't want any of that formal stuff," she said pulling him down on the couch.

"Sara, a wedding is supposed to be a time when family and…"

"I don't have any family," she said.

"You have friends," he said kissing her on the forehead.

"Do you regret that we got married?" she asked.

"No! I'll never regret that Sara," he said as he kissed her.

She curled her body close to his.

"He's uhm seemed different since he got back," said Sara.

"He certainly looks better," said Blake. "The man was overdue for a vacation."

"It wasn't a vacation. It was just time off," she clarified.

"You think something is wrong?" he asked.

"If it is, he won't tell anyone. Grissom is very private," she said.

"Sounds familiar," he teased. "It was hard cracking your shell. You wouldn't let me in for a long time."

"I…uhm didn't trust you," she said.

"Well, I think it's good that you're having dinner with him," whispered Blake as his hand slowly slid down her waist and rested on her hip.

Blake pulled her closer so that her head rested on his shoulder.

"I love you, Sara," he whispered.

She trembled.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I think Grissom knows," she replied.

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"Grissom would never risk coming here…much less inviting me to dinner," she said. She sighed. "He knows. He must have seen the ring on the chain or something."

"Does it bother you?" he asked.

"I've been wanting to find a way to tell everyone…I mean it's one thing to announce you're married and another that you're pregnant."

His eyes fell to the floor.

"I want this baby…and you," she insisted as she kissed him.

He smiled slightly as he caressed her back.

"I'm glad he knows. You need to be careful in the field," he said.

He pulled out a set of keys in his pocket and flashed them.

"What's that?" she asked.

"The keys to our house," he said with a grin.

Sara's mouth dropped open. "You bought a house?"

"Sara, we're going to need the room," he said. "We both have one bedroom apartments."

"Yes, but…"

"I saw you one day looking on the internet," he said.

She froze.

"What house did you purchase?" she asked.

"The house on Riverview Drive," he said.

"That…house?" she asked.

"You seemed really interested in it?"

"I recognized the address," she whispered.

"Address?"

"Uhm Grissom lives on that block," she said.

"I guess we're going to be neighbors," he said.

She groaned. "Nausea just doesn't want to go away."

"You okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," she whispered. "A shower would be good. I smell."

He continued to stare at her. "You think jogging is good…for your condition?"

"Plenty of pregnant women jog," she responded.

"How's the morning sickness?" he asked.

"It's a bitch," she moaned. "Seems to be worse in the evenings."

"Take care of yourself…for me," he said.

She smiled.

She started to leave when he grabbed her hand.

"Sara…if you hadn't gotten pregnant…"

"Don't. I married you because you make me happy," she said. "I haven't been happy in a very long time."

"But…"

"Shut up or I'll kick your ass," she warned.

He grinned. "You probably could."

Blake pulled her into his arms and held her. "You're the most important thing to me…you know that?"

"Yeah, I do," she said as she leaned in for a kiss.

"I better shower if I'm going to get any sleep before dinner," she said as she headed to the bedroom.

"Does this mean you're going to stop wearing my ring around your neck?" he asked.

"It goes on the finger tonight," she said.

Blake smiled. "Can I talk you into using 'Williams' rather than 'Sidle'?"

"Don't push your luck," she teased.

Sara rushed into the diner and glanced around. She had left the apartment in order to show up early but the nausea had detained her on the side of the road. Some mouth rinse and mint did wonders these days as she tried to seem upbeat but feeling pretty wasted. He waved when he spotted her. He had chosen a booth in the back.

"Sorry, I'm late," she breathed.

"No problem," he said. He had spent the last hour trying to come up with some excuse not to show up. It was obvious from their appearance in her apartment that she had clearly moved on. He certainly couldn't blame her. As the silence dragged between them, he wished he had come up with any excuse to avoid this confrontation.

"I'm glad you wanted to do this," she said licking her lips.

He wanted to kiss them.

He leaned forward and began.

"Look, I know this year has been really hard…for both of us," he began. "That was my fault. I never knew…how to handle these feelings between us."

She nodded. "What happened to us Grissom?"

His heart fluttered, perhaps there was still hope.

"We let the job get in the way…I did…I did that."

"We were friends…close friends when I lived in San Francisco. We talked…really talked, but then I came to Vegas and all of that changed," she said.

She swiped at her eyes and he smiled.

You missed me…

"Sara, this has been my fault. I never thought there could be anything between us except boss and employee."

"Well, there was…long before we became boss and employee. You were the only person…who knew me. I know I complicated things by wanting more…and I get it. You didn't feel that way."

Yes, I did….

I've always loved you…

"I care Sara," he said.

She swiped at her eyes once more.

"I've missed you," she whispered.

His heart fluttered once more.

"I've missed you too. Could we start over?" he asked.

"I'd like that," she said with a smile.

His chest tightened at the sight of that smile.

He returned the smile.

"How did you find out?" she asked.

He was confused but hid it.

He was becoming adept at that.

Sara flashed the wedding ring on her finger and for a moment Grissom was sure his time was up.

"I was only gone for a month," he said trying very hard to hide his emotions.

"We got married just a few days ago," she said.

He nodded slowly.

I was too late…

She's married and I've lost her…

"Blake is a good man," he said.

"He's not you," she teased.

He felt a slight twinge.

"Sara…"

"I've not been happy in a long time. In fact, I uhm sort of just went through a period where I didn't care about anything…that scared me. I was taking risks at my job…some of it you know about. Brass knows the rest. He practically threatened to have me removed from my job if I didn't do something about it. You sort of know about the drinking."

Grissom nodded.

"Blake picked up on it. He caught me a few times…pretty much chewed me out but then he made me talk with him…really talk."

Sara's eyes met Grissom's.

"He reminds me a lot of you," she whispered.

The pain intensified.

"Are you happy?" he whispered.

"Yes, I am," she replied as she smiled through the tears.

"I'm happy for you," he said as his hand reached out and took hers. "Be happy, Sara."

"I uhm need to tell you something else," she said.

He wasn't sure if he could take much more.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted.

She waited for him to respond.

He imagined how he would react if he'd given their relationship a chance and she were carrying his child.

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her palm.

"You're going to make a great mother," he said.

She wasn't prepared for the rush of tears.

It was as if a flood gate opened.

"I'm sorry. Stupid hormones," she wailed.

The waitress appeared with more coffee, but Grissom motioned her away.

He gently pulled Sara over to his side of the booth and wrapped his arms around her.

"I know this is going to mean some changes on assignments," she managed to get out through gulps of tears.

He kissed her on the forehead.

"We'll work it out," he said.

He was content for the moment to sit there holding her.

"Griss, we uhm haven't ordered," she sniffled.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"All the time," she whined.

He chuckled.

"That's a change…a good change," he said.

"Promise me…we'll stay friends?" she asked.

"I promise," he replied.

"We uhm bought a house," she said.

"That's good," he replied.

"It's on Riverview Drive," she said hesitantly.

"It is?"

"2240," she added.

"That's uhm across the street from me," he breathed.

"Blake purchased it without consulting me," she explained.

"It's a nice house, Sara," he said softly.

"Griss, you've seemed different since you got back," she sniffled.

"I did a lot of thinking while I was away," he said.

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine. I have my friend back. I've seen you smile again," he said.

She turned inward. "Friends always."

She continued to cry.

It wasn't the hormones.

She knew it.

It was the end of an old dream.

She'd formed a new one and she was glad it at least included Grissom in her life.

"I'm glad we did this," she said.

Food was ordered and then served. They talked about the past year, setting the hurt and pain aside.

Grissom glanced at his watch.

"Time for shift," she said.

Time for me to make a decision…

She slipped out of the booth as he did the same.

He picked up the check.

"Thanks for dinner," she said as she hugged him. It was supposed to be a slight embrace but he pulled her close and held her for a moment. It did his heart good. He breathed in deeply, trying to memorize the feel of her body next to his. A sweet fragrance tantalized his senses.

"I'll see you at work," he whispered.

She smiled as she headed out the door.

He slumped back into the seat, pulled out the medication, and gulped it down.

Note from author:

I know….leave a review. Remember, this will be GSR...and besides you will see their friendship is back intact....

Take care.