Reflections of the Past
...
The Doctor discarded the last of the blood-soaked rags, then took a seat on the stool next to Sarah Jane's bed, silently watching over her. He looked at the red skin around her shoulder, a vivid reminder of the wound that was there not so long ago.
He had been too focused on the droid that he hadn't even given her a second thought that she might be injured. He thought about his past incarnations, the fourth in particular who had a habit of not listening. He could clearly recall a young Sarah losing her patience, whenever she tried to talk to him, only for him to ignore her. It caused, even more, guilt to weigh heavily on him. She deserved better. Much better, than what he had to offer her. Even after all these years she hadn't forgotten or gave up on him. She had always been there for him, yet he couldn't say the same. How many times had he hurt her over the years? Yet she still seemed to forgive him even if he didn't deserve it.
It was one of the reasons she was his favourite. With her courage, and sharp mind she was a force to be reckoned with, but the one thing that made him love her more was her compassion. No matter how bad a situation got, she would always try and see the good in everyone, even if they didn't necessarily see it themselves. He lost his hearts to her a bit more with each passing day she had travelled with him. Now seeing her again after all this time, he couldn't deny his feelings for her any longer. His resolve was breaking, and it would be only a matter of time before she had taken his hearts again completely. The idea of that happening terrified him. She would never be able to return his feelings. She was human. She only had one life. Eventually, she would die, and leave him alone, while he would go on. The thought of ever losing her was unbearable.
"I'm sorry, Sarah." He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair, looking for any sign of her waking. "I never should have brought you with me."
"You think and talk too much."
"Sarah?" he stood up seeing her eyes open as she looked up at him, giving a faint smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Terrible. How long have I been out?"
"Twenty minutes. I thought I was going to lose you." he gently caressed the side of her face.
"You didn't. You saved me like you always do," she reassured him, only to see him look away. "Doctor, talk to me."
"It's all my fault."
She narrowed her eyes, "And how did you come to that conclusion?"
"Because it's always my fault, Sarah. How many near death situation did I get you into in the past? Now I managed to get you into another one and it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since you left Earth."
"Doctor, I meant what I said to you, I wouldn't have changed any of our adventures or travelling with you for the world. Travelling with you was the best years of my life. Nothing seemed to compare back on Earth after you left. Even the men."
His head shot up as he looked over at her eyebrows raised.
"Even you must know you're a tough act to follow. I tried to settle down, but it didn't work out. So, I decided to live life alone. No one can hurt you when you're alone."
Her words felt like a dagger in his hearts. The thought of her spending her life alone was unthinkable. She deserved to have someone in her life who loved her and would be there for her.
"You're not alone, Sarah. You've got me... and Rose and Mickey." He tried to cover up his slip of the tongue.
"I know." She told him softly. "Speaking of which, where are Mickey and Rose?"
"I don't know. I sort of snapped at Rose earlier. She wanted me to look into the droid, but I wasn't going to leave you alone, but she kept pushing."
"Doctor, you shouldn't have stayed. I would have been fine."
The Doctor shook his head, "I couldn't take that chance. You mean too much to me, Sarah."
She didn't know what to say. She had never seen the Doctor this unguarded about his feelings before. He had always tried to hide his emotions, but she could always see right through him.
"What are you saying, Doctor?" she asked softly as she carefully maneuvered herself into a sitting position.
The Doctor reached out to help her while trying to think about an answer to her question. he finally had his opportunity to tell her how he felt, but at the same time, something was still holding him back.
"So, you were saying?" Sarah asked once she was comfortable seeing him run his hands through his hair in nervousness.
"I don't know how to say this. I've never been good with these sorts of things."
"If it makes you feel any better, neither am i."
"Really?"
She nodded her head with a smile. "We make quite a pair don't we?"
"Oh, i would definitely say so." He gave her a big smile wondering if his feelings for her could grow anymore.
"So, tell me. What's going in that Time Lord mind of yours that's leaving you look like a nervous wreck."
"You'll probably hate me for telling you this. I won't blame you if you do. But I think after all these years you deserve to know."
"Know what?" She asked softly feeling her voice catch in her throat.
"Sarah Jane Smith, I..."
"Master, an urgent matter has arisen."
The Doctor closed his eyes, and inwardly cursed K9's timing. "What is it K9?" he asked looking down at his metal companion.
"Mistress Rose and Master Mickey have left the Tardis."
"They've what?" the Doctor hissed looking over at Sarah Jane, whose face had gone deathly pale. "We need to find them."
"Oh no, you're not going anywhere. You need to rest, Sarah. You've already been nearly killed by one of those things, I'm not letting that happen again." He vowed, before rushing out of the medical bay.
"K9 make sure she doesn't leave." His voice echoed back, causing Sarah to huff in annoyance.
"Affirmative."
Sarah looked down at her dog with a look of betrayal, "K9 I have to help him."
"You are recovering Mistress. Its not safe for you to leave."
"K9, please. They could be killed out there." she pleaded with her friend, hoping he would see reason.
"Very well, mistress, but when master finds out..."
"I'll take the blame, K9." said Sarah Jane swinging her legs over the bed and stood up.
"Affirmative, but mistress may wish to get changed."
Sarah looked down, noticing her jeans were covered in her blood, and most of her top was destroyed.
"You may be right." She kneeled down giving K9 a pat on the head. "good dog."
"Affirmative."
Sarah ran out of the medical bay and towards the Tardis wardrobe, picking up a new pair of jeans and white ruffled blouse before quickly changing. Looking down at her heeled boots she tossed them to the side and settled for knee high leather flat boots instead.
Seeing the blue jacket in the corner, she picked it up and slid her arms inside the sleeves trying not to wince when she jarred her healed shoulder. Once the jacket was buttoned she looked in the mirror satisfied with the results and quickly ran from the Tardis to find the Doctor.
It didn't take her long to find him in the same place where he had turned the droid to ice. Standing in the doorway, she watched the Doctor lecture Rose and Mickey on the dangers of running off into the unknown.
"Doctor, I think they get the message."
"Sarah, I told you to stay in the Tardis." he turned to look at her with annoyance and amusement in his eyes.
"Yes, and when did I ever listen to orders?" She walked over to them. "Are you two alright?"
"Are we alright? You were the one that was bleeding out," said Rose in a small voice.
"I'm fine. A bit tender, but I'll live," she reassured them looking around the room noticing the droid was gone. "Where is it?"
"We don't know. When we arrived back, it was gone."
"Yes, and it doesn't look good for us." The Doctor told them, walking back over to the fireplace.
"Where are you going?" asked Rose hoping he wasn't going to disappear.
"Nowhere, yet. Sarah, I need you to come over here."
Sarah looked over at Rose and Mickey who shrugged their shoulders. She inwardly sighed and walked over to him.
"What is it, Doctor?"
"I need you to find that switch."
Sarah looked at him in amusement, her fingers hovering over the switch ready to press it, when the Doctor's hand stopped her.
"You're staying here. I need you to keep an eye on those two."
She knew there was more to it than that, but she would humour him for now. "Very well, but be careful. You had better come back to me... I mean us."
He looked at her, eyes filled with happiness and hope, "You can count on it, Sarah. Now, if you just take a step back. There we go. Now... Allons-y!"
Sarah shook her head and looked over at Rose who was weighing the fire extinguisher in her hands.
"What are you planning Rose?" asked Mickey knowing she was up to something.
They both look at each other in silent communication, causing Mickey to smile and grab the other fire extinguisher on the wall.
"Now you're getting it," Rose said laughing.
"And where do you think you two are going?" she looked at each of them in turn like they were naughty children.
"To find that clock droid." Said Mickey holding the gun higher in his arms.
"Oh no. You two aren't going anywhere."
"But Sarah Jane, we can't stand around here doing nothing," Rose argued seeing the older woman's resolve breaking.
"Fine, but if the Doctor has a fit, you're both taking the blame. Understand?"
"Yes, Ma'am." Rose and Mickey said at the same time.
"Come on you two, let's go find a droid."
