Recap:
Eiri cocked his head, sensation was amazing.
"Show me how much you love me, Shuichi, and I will show you how much I love you…"
--
But they both knew sex wasn't a solution.
In their previous arguments either Tohma was being mediator, or they were ending up in bed.
And that wasn't a solution.
It was just a mask.
A temporary one.
They worked as two dangerous bombs, ready to explode every minute.
But none of them could let go.
Eiri pushed Shuichi on the bed, ripping his clothes, unable to resist his lover.
Shuichi moaned loudly, gripping Eiri's hair, capturing his lips hungrily.
The heat was unbearable, sweat was streaming down their bodies, Shuichi cried silently, letting Eiri do to him various crazy stuffs.
Eiri was ravishing his body, without previous preparation, he just penetrated, unable to control himself.
Shuichi screamed, pain was throughout whole his body, he cried, but not begging Eiri to stop.
Not now…
It was a strange mixture of sensations-pain and happiness Eiri was there.
But it wasn't enough.
Sex wasn't a language that could solve a problem.
"Eiri…" he moaned his name, "Damn you…"
Eiri was looking him straight into eyes, he drank the pink haired boy's tears.
Eiri came into the boy, not letting a single sound escape his lips.
"Get off." said Shuichi, his voice flat.
Eiri did so.
Shuichi turned his back toward Eiri, mad at him.
Eiri was feeling bad, knowing he made a mistake.
He stroked the singer's hair gently, enjoying its softness.
He kissed Shuichi's shoulder gently.
The singer shuddered.
Eiri moved closer to Shuichi, his breath caressing the singer's ear.
"I'm sorry." he whispered.
"You're always sorry. First you break me then you say you're sorry." said Shuichi, his voice barely a whisper.
Eiri buried his face into Shuichi's neck, hugging him tighter.
He was placing butterfly kisses on delicate neck of the young vocalist.
Those kisses sent shivers down Shuichi's spine.
"It was misunderstanding." said Eiri. "That day…You reminded me of how I was raped."
Shuichi was silent, like he was asleep, yet he was listening.
"You made me feel horrible, you paralyzed me then. I let you go." Eiri nuzzled Shuichi's shoulder. "I let you think I didn't care…" he let go of the boy, sitting up in the bed, "But I do." Shuichi rolled on the other side so he can face his lover, "And sometimes, I just can't express it."
Eiri wasn't looking at Shuichi, he was looking somewhere else, before him.
"I will never understand you." said Shuichi, standing up, wrapped in sheet, "Maybe we're not meant to be together." he headed to the bathroom, "But it was nice being with you, Yuki Eiri." he said coldly.
The thing Shuichi said broke Eiri's heart.
He knew the risks of letting somebody in, and he shouldn't have done that.
He regretted.
But he loved that rebellious boy.
He loved and cared.
He jumped off the bed, grabbing Shuichi from behind, wrapping his long arms around his slim waist.
He wasn't about to let him go.
No, not again.
He made the pink haired teen turn and look at him.
Eiri's eyes bright, melancholic.
He was just staring at the boy, running his hands through messy pink hair.
The novelist pulled him closer, kissing him lightly, holding him tighter.
Shuichi kissed back, he broke before the blonde, he started crying into the kiss, sobs becoming stronger and stronger.
His amethyst eyes rested on the blonde after the kiss, asking way too many questions.
The moment of silence was enough for Eiri to show his affection.
Words were not enough to express his feelings.
So he found his novels pathetic.
But this love, this what he was having with Shindou, all the pain and all the joy, was something that was irreplaceable.
It was essential.
"Aishiteru." he said simply.
Shuichi smiled.
Eiri's first statement of love.
Maybe there was a millionth chance for them.
