Chapter 3- Considerations and Plans
Jacobs POV
What was Sam thinking? Asking those stupid leeches to make Bella one of them, that's a cruel, sick joke she couldn't possibly want that, could she? Would it hurt less if I knew she was living and happy somewhere? Does what I think really matter? I caught up with Sam. "What do you think I should do?"
"Jacob I talked it over with Billy, and we're leaving the decision up to you, but yes we think you should allow them to change her. I think it would be healthy for you, but the decision is yours, not mine."
At that point we reached the little clearing where we were supposed to meet then Cullens. The others came as wolves and stood behind us, only Sam and I would need to be human for this meeting, but they're here because my choice will affect the pack in one way or another. The Cullens came in cautiously, the four males first. The second Edward, I knew him from seeing him and Bella together last year, saw me he slipped into a hunting crouch. The dark haired one and one of the blond ones grabbed him.
"Him, he's responsible for all this."
"I loved, I love her, I didn't mean for any of this and if I could trade places with her I gladly would, I would take her pain and be thankful for the chance because something as sweet as Bella should never feel the pain I have inflicted on her. Then again I'm not alone, you hurt her too, you made her running to me a necessity when you told her you didn't want her."
"HOW DARE YOU, I left her for her safety. I was trying to save her life, the life that YOU have taken, what good was all her pain, and my pain when in the end all my efforts failed because a stupid mongrel couldn't control himself." He hissed back.
Everyone stood back watching our conversations. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself. Everything he accused me of was true, hard to hear but true.
"Can you take a walk with me, I would like to speak to you. I mean no harm and I won't stop you if you choose to rip my throat out because it's what I deserve, it's what I would do if our roles were reversed"
The blond leader looked at Edward meaningfully like they were having a private conversation in their heads, finally Edward looked at me and said "I will walk with you and hear you out, but know this dog, nothing you say can change what you've done…"
Edwards POV
What could the dog possibly need to talk to me about? I tried getting something from his head but his pain and grief were too strong it consumed his every thought. Good he should suffer, although his pain and grief were strong they were a mere shadow of mine.
"What" I growled to get this stupid conversation started.
"I need to talk to you about something's that are unbelievably hard for me, please just answer me honestly" he almost pleaded… what was the dog looking for from me… comfort? Pity? He sure wasn't going to get it from me.
"Can we hurry this up, just spit it out, I want to go be with Bella."
"Edward, I need to know what your feelings are for Bella"
"What does it matter? Yes I love her, love her more than anything including myself, but none of that matters. Bella is going to die and I'm out here wasting time with you, mostly because I believe she would want me to. When I was away, I was useless, all I saw was Bella, she had my every thought consumed my mind completely and when she dies I will find a way to die too."
"What if she didn't have to die? What if we…"
He broke off and I saw it in his head, he was willing to let us change her into something he hated to save her. I dropped to my knees.
"Edward, I'm asking no begging you to change her. I'm guessing it's what she wanted before you left. I need her to be happy again even if she's not the Bella I love. Her happiness comes before mine. If she can be happy with you then maybe…"
"What makes you think I care about you?" I interrupted. "This conversation is over, I'll talk to my family and we'll get back to you, right now I have to go be with Bella."
Later, in Bella's hospital room with my family, well all except Rose who absolutely refused because she had never really liked Bella anyway and hated to see our family mourn for the girl. Charlie was sleeping by Bellas side. I was on the other side holding her hand, staring deeply into her newly mangled (well about a week ago) face.
"What did the pup want?" Alice questioned
"HE gave me permission, well begged really that I change her"
Every single one of my families minds were stunned into complete silence. Jasper was the first to regain thought.
"It's a trick they want you to change her thereby breaking the treaty and then they attack"
"No, Jasper I searched his mind thoroughly, there was absolutely no thoughts of that. Sam approached Jacob about the matter; Sam and Billy think it would be best all around."
Alice glared at me "He has no intention of changing her; he's going let her die and then run off and find a way to die too. Damnit Edward why are you so masochistic, do you really enjoy pain in your life?"
"Absolutely not Edward" Esme said as if to a 3 year old caught coloring on the walls.
"She deserves better, we left because she deserved a life where when she died she would go to heaven. I will not take her soul"
"Edward, you must be objective, what would Bella want, because I can assure you it's not just her life and happiness hanging in the balance, it is all of ours, and the wolves'." Carlisle was trying to reason with me but I didn't want to hear it. The idea of changing Bella was so… tempting it was hard not to. But if I changed her now all that pain we all went through when we left especially hers was pointless.
"If you won't I will, Edward I still see her being part of our family… and being happy. LOOK" Alice threw her vision into my head, I saw us all sitting around fighting (playfully). Emmett and Bella acting as if they had been born brother and sister, even Rosalie was happy. I shoved the image out of my head. Even if I wanted to how? Charlie NEVER left, he would not leave Bella until her heart stopped and once her heart stopped it was too late. Alice foreseeing my last and final objection said "Carlisle can arrange it, he'll unplug the monitors, Charlie will be so grief stricken he won't notice Bella still breathing, her injuries are bad enough to require a closed casket so we bury an empty casket. We stay for the funeral and to make plans on where to go next and a month later we leave"
"Fine" I whispered. I didn't have the strength to fight my whole family, I knew they would win, the vision in Alices head told me that much.
Less than a week later, we put our plan into action. Carlisle intensified the pressure on Charlie to pull the plug, something he hated doing but everyone agreed that keeping Bella in this state was cruel to everyone including and especially her. Charlie eventually caved one night.
"Carlisle, I…" he started crying trying to hold back the tears. "I think your right, I… think… it's… time to say goodbye" Charlie crumbled into a broken heap on the floor watching his pain was unbearable, I wished there was some way to tell him without telling him. So I said the only thing I could think of.
"Charlie, I know… well I'm not a father so I don't know but I can see the pain your going through and I just want to say something, it will sound absolutely stupid but here goes… by letting her go your allowing her to go where she should be, your allowing her to… move on, and just because you won't be able to see her and talk to her anymore doesn't mean she won't be watching over you, she'll always be with you and part of you." I kept my face in the frown of pain while smiling smugly to myself… Charlie had no idea how true those words were. I'm sure no matter how much distance we put between us and Forks I'm sure Bella would always check on her friends and family.
"Edward is right Charlie, I'm sure Bella will be very happy in her next life and where ever she is she'll never forget you" Carlisle said following my lead trying to comfort Charlie.
We all left the room for the rest of the night, Charlie was saying his good-byes and none of us wanted to intrude. In the morning Charlie called Carlisle in and Carlisle pulled the plug on all Bellas machines. Moments later Charlie came out overwhelmed with grief; Alice went and comforted Charlie while Carlisle took Bella to the "morgue". I left the hospital carefully controlling my emotions to show just the right level of grief. When I got home Carlisle and Bella were already there.
"It needs to be done now Edward she's fading fast without the machines." Carlisle whispered.
I picked Bella up off the bed, "I'm sorry love, I wish it didn't have to hurt" I said before sinking my teeth into her beautiful neck. I lost control a little and took more than I intended to but Carlisle stopped me before I took too much. We moved her to my room because it was the part of the house that Bella had spent the most time in when she was human.
