Chapter 3.: Absent Presence

"Elena? I think I found something..."

After the night I lost everything I never thought I would ever feel something that resemble happiness.

Stefan called to inform me that he may have found someone powerful who can help bring back him and Bonnie to life. I know I shouldn't raise my hopes up in case this someone fails to resurrect my love and my best friend from the dead but I just can't help it. I have to let myself feel the hope, the anticipation that this might work, because if I think about a life, an eternity without him and the misery and pain that that brings for one more second I'll go insane. I have to be able to feel something positive because I think I'll might just shut everything off. And it didn't end well the last time.

There was a time when I swear I reached my breaking point. It was two months after I lost him that I couldn't bear it anymore. Everything reminded me of him and I wasn't even allowed to enter Mystic Falls for that to happen. Imagine what would've happened if I'd set foot in my hometown. So between desperate pleas and hysterical sobs, I managed to tell Alaric what had been swirling around my mind for weeks. I wanted Ric to make me forget our time together, that I ever loved him, that he was the most amazing man I've ever met.

Alaric then compelled me to calm down and think about if I really wanted this. Thank God he did. I wouldn't have come to the conclusion that if I erase all the good things he's done and my love for him from my mind then what will I have left? Only hatred for him and that was something I couldn't allow myself to feel for him. Not after everything. I wouldn't have just lost our memories but a part of myself too. Because he was the one who defined me. I am who I am today because of him. I only ever enjoyed being a vampire because he taught me how to embrace this version of me. And of course because of the promise of a love that could last forever. And I felt that with him. But now that is gone too.

I knew I had to collect myself not just for the others but for me too. So I clung to the only thing that was left in my life: the tiny ray of hope that someday I can look into his sky blue eyes and feel his skin under my touch again.

In the first few weeks, the memories attacked me like the plague. Every second I spent with him flashed before my eyes. I thought that kind of thing only happens with the one that dies, not with the one who gets to live without that somebody. I tried to will my mind to stop before any happy fragment of memory could inundate my vision with more or less success. I tried to focus on the anger-filled, not so blissful minutes we spent together.

But now that I might be able to create more memories with him in the future, I let my thoughts wander to the happier parts of our time together again. To the memories which I kept safely locked in the back of my mind.

So as every couple we've had our fair share of brawls too. But what is the best part of fighting with each other? Always the make up...

After Damon left Elena in the parlour, she made her way to the couch and decided to give themselves time to cool off. She knew her comment to Damon about the relationship between him and Stefan was a low blow and she was determined to make it up to him. She was aware how much Damon loved his brother, he proved it time and time again even if it was only her that could see it.

She wrung her hand in nervousness when her phone buzzed.

I'm still breathing. Crashing at Tyler's for the night. See u 2morrow. - J

Elena exhaled a sigh of relief. At least, Jeremy was alright. Now she had to make sure that her relationship with the wonderful man upstairs was alright too.

She stood up from the couch and made her way towards the staircase that led to their bedroom. She could hear him breathing on their bed, the sheets rustling underneath him.

But before she stepped on the bottom step, she changed her mind and went to the drink cabinet and filled two glasses with Damon's favorite alcoholic beverage. Bourbon. It's funny how she's gotten to like this type of drink. It's the influence of Damon. She remembered how she hated the taste of it when she was human. It always burned her throat even when he suggested to drink with small gulps and without taking a breath. But now that she's a vampire, she'd gotten used its essence. She always thought Damon drinks it because he is somehow addicted to it. Like an alcoholic. But that wasn't the case. She understands it now. It takes the edge off of being a vampire, if you're angry, it can help you calm down. And it can also help with the bloodlust. The cravings are still there but not so strongly.

So with the two glasses filled with the amber liquid, she made her way towards their door, softly knocking on it when she was front of it. She felt so stupid doing that now. After they officially got together, this room became their second home. They spent every night here, and even sometimes whole days. It wasn't just Damon's room. It was their room.

When she heard him say 'Come in' she felt even more strange. It was like they'd jumped back a year. When she was still in love with Stefan and Damon's room was still a bit foreign area to her. How many things have changed since then...

She stepped into the room and noticed him lying on their king sized bed with a book in his hands. His one knee was pulled up beside the other and even when she was inside the room he didn't look up at her. He kept on pretending to read.

"Damon?" she attempted, walking closer to the bed until she stood before him. "Peace offering?" she smiled and handed him one of the glasses filled with bourbon. He then looked up from his book with stony eyes, first at her then at the offered glass. He took the drink from her and glanced back at her chocolate brown orbs. She watched him intently, didn't know what to expect, then he rolled his eyes and gave her an indulgent smile.

"Don't look so afraid. I won't bite you..." he then raised his eyebrow. "...hard,"

She giggled and sat beside him, but then sobered up. She knew he forgave her but it wasn't that easy. At least in her head.

"I'm sorry. I know I must have been a pain in the ass for the last week. I'm just worried. You know that since everything started, we didn't have a single day without something bad happening. And I just got back Jeremy..." explained Elena, knowing that Damon would understand her fears.

"I know Elena. But you have to start living in the now. You can't worry for the future all the time. You will miss all the good things in the present," said Damon with a suggestive smile. He also did his eye thing that Elena loved.

"Like what?" asked Elena with pretended innocence.

"Like spending a passionate,orgasm-filled night with me," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "We barely got enough alone time since Judgy resurrected that punk from the dead. Take advantage of the situation that you finally managed to piss Little Gilbert off enough to took off at night,"

"Hey! Need I remind you that you were the one who offered him to move in here? Not that I'm complaining but you shouldn't be too!" said Elena with fake seriousness, playfully hitting Damon's arm.

"I know I offered and I curse myself for that ever since. But I did it for you," he added the last part with a smile, softly touching Elena's face. She melted into his touch.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" she said with a hopeful smile.

"You know I can't stay mad at you for more than 10 minutes. And besides, how could I resist you when you bring me a drink?" she gave him a pointed look, then took his glass from his hand and set it on the bedside table along with hers. She straddled his hips and put her hands on his chest and looked at him seriously.

"But really. I'm sorry for what I've said earlier. You know I didn't mean it. Your relationship with Stefan is completely different. I know how much you care about him," he rolled his eyes. "Yes, you care about him so you can stop pretending. It was in the heat of the moment and I just wanted to-"

He placed his hands on either side of her face and pulled her closer until their noses almost touched. " Elena, you know that thing you do where you open your mouth and sounds come out?"

She looked at him slightly confused. " You mean talking?"

He smirked at her and nodded. " Yeah that. Stop it,"

He then kissed her hungrily, moving his hands down to her hips. She met his kiss just as eagerly, moving her hands to the first button of his black shirt. But before she could start to undo them, he suddenly flipped her onto her back and attacked her neck with soft but passionate kisses.

Being worshipped by him was something she never felt before. Not with Stefan and definitely not with Matt. This man could take her to cloud nine every goddamn second of every day. There's nothing better than being with him. And not just physically. He could make her smile just by walking into a room. She knew any moment by his side should be cherished, forever engraved in her mind...

A smiled back at the memory with nostalgia. Every fight we've had ended with us in bed. I wonder how many times did we succeeded in scaring Jeremy to death with our make up activities.

I have some of his clothes and pictures of us in my dorm room just to torture myself from time to time. Every night I hold his shirt to my chest, inhaling his unmistakeable scent that brings me comfort and pain at the same time. I usually fell asleep like that, tightly hugging the fabric to me and with closed eyes, half asleep I can almost imagine that he is there next to me. Of course, the mornings are the worst.

But now that there's a chance that I get to see him again, going through the stuff that hold our memories isn't that hard anymore. I don't feel the pain that used to shred my insides apart, instead, I feel elation for the first time in 5 months. Seeing the pictures that represent our happiest times together, my mind whirls back the memories that they hold. As my hands came to a halt on the sequence of photos we did in a beautiful summer day, I couldn't help but reminisce about how I got the great Damon Salvatore to sit in a photo booth with his girlfriend...

She didn't even know how she managed to drag him to Mystic Falls' only hypermarket. It's not like he hasn't been in there, especially now that there's a human living in the boarding house, but he always went alone and he made it back 10 minutes later. But going with your girlfriend? To a store where there's clothes? Isn't that every men's nightmare? How the hell did she convinced him to come with her? It must be the promise she made him for the night. But never in her wildest dreams did she imagine she'd go shopping clothes for Jeremy with Damon Salvatore.

But they were here, picking out different kinds of clothes for her brother and he didn't even said a single sarcastic word so far. Something must be up. There's no other explanation.

She glanced at him with cautious eyes from time to time, hoping she would catch an eye roll or anything that's typical for him to do in situations like this. Damon on the other hand, noticed what she was doing.

"Okay, spill," at that Elena looked at him innocently. "I know that look, baby, you're just itching to put a question,"

She opened her mouth, then closed it. Then opened again. "I- You just seem strangely...calm," said Elena puzzled.

Damon raised his eyebrow then smirked. "I may look calm, but in my head, I've killed you about a dozen times for dragging me here buying clothes for that punk you call your brother. You know I have a reputation to uphold. I'm the-"

"The big, bad vampire, yeah we know," interrupted him Elena with a sigh. "Then why did you come?" she asked with narrowed eyes and a curious tone.

"Well I couldn't give your promise a miss now, could I?" he smirked then did his eye thing she both hated and loved. But she could see that wasn't the case. The promise has nothing to do with why he decided to come with her. He's hiding behind his cocky smile when he didn't want to show his emotional, vulnerable side. She was determined to find out the reason.

"Now the real reason?" she asked and watched as his smile vanished, and a flabbergasted expression took its place. "Is this about my comment the last week?" she asked slightly dazedly.

"What comment?" he asked with knitted eyebrows and pretended ignorance. He didn't want to admit to her that he was here because he thought she was not as happy as him with how their relationship works. He earlier words from that week stuck in his mind.

He sighed.

"You said we shouldn't spend all days in our bedroom, that it's not healthy. You wanted to do normal coupley things like most humans so this is me doing normal coupley things with you. I thought you would be happy," he said with a slight edge to his tone. He wasn't mad at her he was just frustrated. Frustrated because he was perfectly fine spending all days with her under the sheets without a care to the outside world. Now that Little Gilbert spends almost every night and sometimes all days at Wolf boy's resident, he finally had Elena for himself without interruption. But maybe she's getting sick of him. Could that be?

Elena, on the other hand, felt completely stunned. She only mentioned they should, at least, check what's going on outside their happy bubble. Caroline constantly calls her to go shopping with her or just hang out at the Grill. There was one time when she felt slightly guilty for refusing her 100th attempt at trying to invite her to a girly afternoon. When Elena mentioned if she could bring Damon with herself Caroline gave up. But Elena didn't want to spend even a second without him. They only have this few months before she moves in with Caroline at Whitmore College's dormitory. And there would only be the phone calls and the weekend visits. Why did she agree to go to college?

But she never thought he would take her comment this seriously. Is he still insecure about her feelings? That would be it?

She watched him closely and noticed the slight vulnerability in his ocean blue eyes even though he tried to hide it. She pursed her lips and stepped closer to him until she was right in front of him. She took his face in her hands and he watched her with slightly narrowed eyes.

"You are adorable, you know that?" she said with a smile and he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "And you're and idiot too. But I'm rather partial to idiots. It's why I love you."

She kissed him soundly on the lips and he smiled into it, encircling his arms around her waist. The kiss was short but rich in emotions.

30 minutes later they were walking towards the exit with newly bought clothes for Jeremy when Elena suddenly came to a halt beside Damon. She turned her body towards her boyfriend and looked at him with a playful smile. He narrowed his eyes at first then groaned.

"Oh no. I know that look too. It says I-have-an-idea-and-you-will-go-through-it-because-I-always-get-what-I-want. So what is it?"

But she didn't answer just continued to look at him cheerfully. He narrowed his eyes at her even further then looked behind her and noticed. Oh no.

"No, no, no, no, absolutely not! There's no way I'm going to sit into that thing. We've done this whole couple thing and now we're going home and you're going to keep your promise." he said heavily protesting. He needed a drink.

"But Damon. Please, what's wrong with this? Besides, you said you wanted to make me happy. And this is what I want," Elena took his arm and started to drag him towards the photo booth. She knew he could've easily held her back if he wanted to, but something told her that he maybe wanted to do this with her. She just needed to break his resolve. "I've never done this with anybody else. You would be the first one. Doesn't it sound appealing?" she smirked when he rolled his eyes.

They now stood right in front of the machine and Elena looked up at him with a pouty face. She knew damn well he couldn't resist her for long. Little minx.

He sighed in defeat.

"You'll be the death of me, Elena."

"Aww, but if you die who's going to keep me out of trouble?" she smirked at him, knowing she won the battle. He just rolled his eyes again. Aren't his eyes sore from doing that so often?

"Okay, let's do this. But I warn you, if you say this to anyone..." he said in his most serious tone. He couldn't get to finish his threat because Elena hugged him with such force, if he wasn't a vampire he would've fallen back from the impact.

"I won't," promised Elena and shoved him inside the machine gently.

I remember he suggested we do pictures with our vampire faces, that it would be cool, but I shushed him down not knowing if anyone watching what's going on inside this machines. And he even suggested a few more things that making me blush ever since. I think he enjoyed it more than I did. But this is one of my most cherished memories.

Suddenly someone knocked at my dorm room. Who the hell could that be? Caroline is currently off with Alaric, trying to somehow break the invisible no-magic barrier around my hometown. Then a thought made its way into my mind. Could it be?

I answered the door and there stood Stefan with probably the only person that could give my future back.

"Elena," greeted Stefan, who I haven't seen for months. I know how hard it must be for him too. He lost his only relative, the one person who he'd known for the longest.

"Stefan" I smiled back, though I was happier to see the other person standing next to him. It seems strange, considering I don't even know her name.

"Let me introduce you to Sophia Blake. Sophia, this is Elena Gilbert," the girl extended her hand with a smile and I took it, knowing that that hand would bring the love of my life back to me once and for all.


A/N: As I promised I gave you the second part of that flashback from the previous chapter and I presented all of you with another memory! Yay! How did you like it? Let me know! :)

Also, I can't stop fangirling about that scene at the end of 6x05. That was the most beautiful I've ever seen in television. My Defan heart just exploded with happy tears :') I know I'm not alone in this.

So who's ready to know this Sophie girl? Any prediction about her? Also, I must say I don't plan on making the whole resurrection plan a monumental thing. So there will be only 1 or 2 chapters left, and I want to concentrate on Elena's and Damon' feelings when he gets back and of course on their reunion. So don't expect big plot twist :) just the usual fluffy, angsty, steamy Delena ;)

And don't forget to review! :)