HI! I LIVE!

One chapter! Be warned though my beta Eeb-tan was stolen away to cornwall, i have checked it through but mistakes are inevitable i'm afraid...

Disclaimer: I Own neither, The anime with the ridiculously long name to type out each time: OHSHC or final fantasy 7 as i can't spell fantasy without spell check...

Italic's: Cloud thinking or Genesis' inner theatre

underlined italic's: the over head speaker system thing you have in schools... err tanoy?


Shinra high school host club

The sky was blue and birds were singing from the branches of the Wutien cherry trees, which bloomed majestically in the court yards of this the most prestigious of schools, their melodic voices running clear echoing of the honeyed stone walls of the Shinra establishment, students milled about chattering in the pleasantly cool late February afternoon air.

In on of the enclosed court yards protected and locked hidden away behind a high wrote iron fence topped with an impressive display of diamond spears, to ward off plucky intruders. The entrance was strangely enough a marble arch way, complete with columns standing sentinel at either side, heavy old oak doors slightly worn from the elements yet coated in a fresh protective gloss layer of gardener paint, golden guilt handles beckoned passers by to enter.

The doors swung inwards to welcome guests into its blossoming cherry tree lined inner sanctum, petals from the said trees floated gently outwards swept by the chilly spring breeze, as they danced on the wing swirling and twirling as they were whipped into eddies after being pulled from the delicate flowers, that bloomed in abundance.

Standing at the centre of the courtyard, poised on the white smooth flag stone path stood the host club, at either side of the cluster of boys, were tall ornamental stones, carved intricately with leaves that curled in, in a style reminiscent to the ancient Banoran (1) columns. Poised on each were arrangements of beautiful flowers, roses in shades of pink and white cradled in dark green leaves and swathed in babies breath.

The hosts themselves were dressed to match the ornamental painted white iron tables that were garbed in delicate linen tablecloths; with white iron chairs cushioned yet the backs forming artistic roses, gilded in silver, as the hosts chorused:

"Welcome, Ladies."

The Remnants three, Sephiroth and Genesis were all garbed in the manner best befitting high class waiters, one would expect to see in the finest restaurants, they stood garbed in well cut black slack's, crisp white shirts black waist coats each with a thin blood red ribbon tied in an ornamental knot in the place of a tie. Crisp white aprons tied about their waists; fell to the floor, made of a heavier, but no less expensive, white linen to the shirts.

Sephiroth stood to the far right, arms crossed and usual frosty smirk in place as his glasses reflected the week spring sunlight, which although meant a clear sky, held no real warmth, yet. Next to him, on the left, stood Genesis, hair immaculate as usual and falling over his left eye slightly, single earring glinted hanging from his right ear, smiling warmly with tray in hand, and ornate silver tray laden with an antique tea set, ready and waiting for him to serve his, "Princess's".

The triplets stood in their regular cluster. Loz stood behind his two brothers in his arms a bottle of sparkling mineral water, Kadaj stood to his left, tray filled with cakes and tasty snacks, balanced expertly as though he had been doing it his whole life, the usual slightly sinister smile in place. Yazoo stood to the right of Kadaj on his crooked arm hung a white linen napkin, a gentler smile than his brothers in place.

The three other hosts however would have looked more in place at a Wutien festival, garbed in Hakama, and formal Yukata the three stood together smiling welcomingly (well two thirds of them at least).

On the far left stood Angeal standing sentinel in guard of the other two, he was dressed in a dark blue over Yukata and a white under Yukata, which fit his dark colourings and stoic expression, Zack grinned waving his fan at the guest, dressed in a maroon over coat and white undercoat, which strangely extenuated his eye's making the unusual violet colouring more prominent.

Cloud stood between Zack, who was at the moment bouncing on the ball's of his feet slightly, and Kadaj who was smiling in a scarily similar fashion to Sephiroth, Cloud was garbed in a light blue outer Yukata, with a dark blue under Yukata and lightly placed about his shoulders was another powder blue Yukata, he smiled angelically at the guests hands fiddling shyly once more with the hem of his sleeve.

As the canary yellow clad girls of Shinra academy milled about the courtyard, the voice of the resident king of hosts resounded about the enclosed space as he served his guests:

"What type of tea set would you like you tea served in my lady? The Folly? The Worcester? Or perhaps the Susie Cooper gardenia?"

As the red head spoke he indicated to one of the tables laden with the most beautiful antiques, painted and enamelled with delicate designs of roses, or embellished with colour the fine bone china forming elegant arc's and curves, matching tea trays filled with patisseries, tea pots, milk jugs and sugar bowls for each set.

The flustered girl gasped excitedly, "Beautiful! Oh their Northern Crater antiques, aren't they?" Before murmuring with a blush, "Which one do you like best, Genesis?"

Genesis smiled charmingly, taking the girls hand he held it to his heart and whispered passionately, "Why the one that reminds me of you my lady?"

The girl flushed a more alarming shade of magenta, and gushed spell bound, "Oh, Genesis," as she held a hand to her cheek delicately as a real lady would, "I don't know what to say!"

Close by Loz questioned curiously, "You mean to say you've never been to Covent garden?" a feminine voice replied, "No, all our antiques are from Portobello road."

Kadaj smiled, politely offering some cake to the girl he was addressing, "I think you'd like Covent Garden, most of our Victorian pieces are from there."

A sharp crash, as the pale pink china in Yazoo's hand over turned as he poured tea for his guest and a splash of scalding liquid, caused the eldest Remnant to gasp sharply as it came into contact with his finger, hissing sharply he clutched at his hand as he placed the cup down sharply.

The two other brothers whirled around, gasping, "Yazoo!" as Loz gently embraced Yazoo from behind and tugged the injured limb from its protective embrace, murmuring softly as Yazoo's eyes glazed with hurt and tears complete with a blush dusting his cheeks. Kadaj gently took his hand from Loz and placed his mouth over the mercifully small scalded area of the eldest brothers finger, Kadaj murmured, "Honestly Yazoo you must be more carful."

Loz agreed readily saying, "Keep your eyes on us, from now on 'kay?" Yazoo answered with a smile and a soft, "Okay little brothers. I will."

The two guests watched the scene blush gracing their cheeks, hold of the powder pink antiques tightening as the scene unfolded, one swooned, exclaiming, "I can't take it! Its to much!"

The other rounded on her, scolding in a stage whisper, "No! You have to watch this! Who knows when it will happen again?"

"Your absolutely right mademoiselle." Sephiroth spoke in his usual purr, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"All beauty is fleeting, just look at these Wutanese cherry blossoms-" he gazed at a single twig, one that had several blossoms on it, as he spoke in a soft voice, "You'll never see them quite this vibrant again." He twirled the small twig watching silently as a single petal was dislodged and floated past him gently on the breeze.

Looking up he smirked at the two entranced costumers, before purring in a deadly velveteen manner, "This is why I have compiled these picture books, to capture these rare moments, of each passing day," Sephiroth produced said books complete with a picture of the Remnant brothers on the front, he continued, glasses flashing evilly, "incidentally I have compiled books for the other hosts as well, if you ladies are interested in by all four I will discount the total price…"

Hook, line, sinker…

The two girl's shot up purses at the ready, with a joint exclamation of "We'll take them!"

The brothers looked on apathetically, Kadaj deadpanned, "Well, we now know how the club raises extra funds…" Loz cocked his head to one side and queered, "You have to wonder though—" "—When did he take pictures of us?" Yazoo finished Loz' thought.

oOoOoOo

Water gushed along a bamboo pipe, slowly filling up a slanted bamboo stalk, hollowed as a receptor for the water bearing down, silently it over turned causing a loud hollow clunk against the polished stone, to brake the tranquillity of the rushing water, creating an oddly musical note, as it emptied its contents in to a crystalline pool surrounded by grasses and well groomed flower bushes with little pink and white flowers.

A stray drop flashed in the sunlight as it fell onto the soft worn reddish pink rug, ornamented by black slates with sugary Wutien delicacies, and Wutien china teacups. Stray petals from the cherry blossom blooms littered the spaces between the dishes.

Cloud sat kneeling in the traditional Wutanese way, as he watched Zack Fair, the boyish third year swirl, the whisk like implement made of rushes around in a bowl of green Wutanese tea, with vigour, meaning said green tea was splashing over the sides.

Should I say something to him? …

Zack continued to swirl the brush around the bowl a look of utmost concentration upon his boyish face, violet eyes unusually serious and focussed, Cloud and the two guests looked on, seated next to a large extravagantly designed flower arrangement of eastern flowers. The two guests were seated in the same manner as Cloud, (though with much more engrossed expressions), only upon a deep purple cushion.

Silently the stoic fellow third year student, Angeal Hewley leant over Zack's shoulder unnoticed until he murmured lowly, in his deep voice, "Zackary, you over did it."

Zack started and an electric shock seemed to pass through the other members of the tea ceremony, as they thought collectively in horror,

He told him! …

Zack paused his movement and looked at the bowl there was barely any of the bitter green liquid left, his face gained a look of disappointment at the realisation, he looked like a kicked puppy, his eyes glittered with frustrated tears.

Something within the guests snapped.

The closest girl's arm darted out chirping, "Don't worry Puppy-sempai! I'll drink it!" Said girl drank her share of the liquid enthusiastically as the other exclaimed, "Yes there's just enough for both of us! How did you know? You never cease to amaze me!" Impassioned. Zack looked at them as they smiled smiles filled with sincerity, his grin shone like the sun as he grinned at them murmuring, "You think so?"

Cloud sighed … few crises adverted….

oOoOoOo

When finally alone for a few minuets Cloud looked up at the trees laden with blooms, he sighed content smiling slightly as he gazed upwards, blue eyes dancing with serene amusement.

"Cloud?"

A charming voice broke his revere, Cloud turned to spy Genesis gazing at him one arm cocked upon his hip as he spoke with a small smile, "How are you doing? Are you having a good time?"

Cloud greeted him, "Genesis, Sir?"

Genesis smirked blue eyes glinting with amusement as he raised the arm that had been placed upon his slightly curved hip, his hand out stretched as he watched a petal float gently to his palm, glancing at her over his shoulder he spoke,

"The flower viewing is going over quite well don't you think?" chuckling he turned to him fully, shrugging slightly in mock humility,

"Even though, it's quite tiring being admired instead of doing the admiring."

Cloud sweat dropped replying in a sarcastic fashion, "Oh wow Sir, you're blooming in more ways than one…."

Genesis swelled with pride exclaiming excitedly once again summoning his mysterious sparkles, "You noticed!" He pointed at her in a manner some, if one were an ignorant of his character or perhaps a fool, would take seriously, before continuing in a manner one would associate with narcissism, "Yes today my beauty is quite splendorous, I'm in full bloom!"

He looked at her from where he had posed in a dramatically elegant manner, he winked blowing a kiss, as he posed in a thinking pose, chin resting between his thumb and index finder, "I'll bet you'll fall for me soon!"

Cloud stared at him gobsmacked and one eyebrow twitching, thinking furiously, I swear! This guy must live life completely ignorant of the hard ships of this world….

Suddenly a pair of muscled arms wound their way around his waits as more slender hands belonging to two other individuals took up his two arms, as usual Loz had taken his favourite Cloud cuddling position (one which, Cloud had learnt it was near impossible to get him to relinquish), muscled arms wrapped securely around a slim waist and a chiselled jaw nestled amongst Chocobo down soft yellow spikes.

Yazoo today had snagged Clouds left hand and cradled it to his heart as he stood close to said boys shoulder, Kadaj held Clouds right in his left as he too stood close, a book of leaflets in his right, he spoke charmingly, "So Cloud have you decided which elective course your going to do?"

Yazoo nodded looking at Cloud adoringly, "How about Conversational Wutanese? I have heard it's a lot of fun."

Loz grinned and nuzzled into Clouds hair, "Yeah we can take it together!" Yazoo and Kadaj turned in perfect synchronisation to grin demonically at Genesis over Loz' shoulder as he continued, "It makes perfect sense! We are in the same class after all!"

Genesis started before curling up in depression amongst the roots of one of the cherry trees, muttering to himself and sulking.

He spoke up suddenly in a low voice, "Say, Mummy dear?"

Sephiroth who stood close writing something down on his clip board, paused and pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose, a sinister habit as it mad his glasses flash ominously, he smirked and replied in a tone laced with false sweetness, "What is it now, Daddy…?"

Genesis spoke lowly glaring at the tree trunk in his corner of gloom, "I have a new theory…. I mean it's just my hypothesis, but by being in the same class, those shady triplets get to spend more time with Cloud than I do! This gives them a chance to get close to him and if that happens-"

As he looked over to the grinning brothers showing Cloud the courses, Sephiroth smirked before replying mercilessly, "Genesis. You mean you have only just figured this out?"

Genesis fell to the floor as though the Akumu's (2) words had run a bolt of lightning through him, he twitched violently, before letting loose a dramatic sob.

Sephiroth pointed to a board containing two pie charts ladled "Triplet's time spent with Cloud, Genesis' time spent with Cloud." That had once again appeared out of nowhere!

He continued in a voice that sounded as though he was talking to a small child, and mentally, he was.

"According to my research, in a single day, the Triplets spend roughly seven hours of class time with Cloud coupled with two hours Club activities, your contact however is limited to club activities, therefore you role in Cloud's life amounts to no more than a mere three percent."

Sephiroth mercilessly drove home the point by smiling in his usual spine chillingly wicked way and holding up three fingers whilst chirping in and oddly vicious tone, "I'm so dreadfully sorry."

Genesis twitched, once, twice before yelping loudly with his hands over his ears and tears in his eyes, "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"

Suddenly Cloud found him self dangerously close to Genesis' face, as he exclaimed, clinging to the vertically challenged blonds shoulders, "Listen Cloud! I want you to stop hanging out wit those shady Remnant brothers three from now on!"

This caused an exclamation from the youngest of the said, "Remnant brothers three" who yelped, "Who you calling shady!" Loz nodded vehemently, very put out his life size Chocobo pushy had been taken from him, "Yeah! Take a good look at your self Boss!"

Genesis gasped in terrible realisation and took two steps back gasping despairingly, "Yes, that's it…" Before clenching his fist resolutely and continuing, "All right then! We can't go on hiding the fact that you're really a girl from everyone in the school any longer!"

He then sniffled and burst into anime tears dramatically, "All Daddy wants is you to go back to the way you used to be! Where you surround your self with girlfriends and start leading a wholesome life!" All the while Sephiroth was scribbling in his black notebook of doom.

Cloud stared at the bawling red head and asked tonelessly, "Just who are you calling a girl, Sir?"

Cloud continued to stare at the deranged boy calmly as he was shook back and forth at arms length by the king who was ordering tearfully, "So do it! Change back now! Change!"

Cloud muttered, "Just how long is it going to take before you realise I'm a guy, Sir?"

Yazoo waved his hand dismissively, "Don't worry Cloud, he will realise soon enough." Kadaj nodded sagely, "Yeah physical exams are the day after tomorrow."

Cloud looked at him blinking twice before murmuring, "Physical exams?"

xXxXxXx Genesis' inner theatre proudly presents: xXxXxXx

Cloud stood in line waiting for the doctor to return with his file, he fidgeted slightly with the hem of his shirt shyly, unused to so many people. He watched as Sephiroth and Genesis, teased each their whist preparing to get their height measured.

Genesis stood close to Sephiroth; he was smiling as his long elegant fingers attached to his hands tugged at the buttons of his shirt, he laughed jesting at Sephiroth, "This year I'll try and beat your high, okay?"

Gently he tugged his white school shirt over his shoulders and shrugged it off exposing his slightly tanned skin of his chest well defined but not bulky or as prominent as Angeal's or Sephiroth's.

Sephiroth shrugged, shedding his own cotton shirt from his broader shoulders, his long silvered hair falling over one shoulder and shimmering like quicksilver, glasses removed his green eyes shone with a strange inner light, his skin much paler than Genesis' and his muscled more defined, and each move was calculated and exsiccated with the grace of a fighter. He answered Genesis' query in kind, "Hmmm you might be lucky but it is unlikely."

Genesis threw back his head and laughed jovial, Red locks fluttering about his face, "Well I might be lucky!"

"Miss Strife?" the doctor called a confused look upon his face, attracting Clouds attention, continuing, "There seems to be a discrepancy, would you mind stepping into the other room?"

Cloud nodded hesitantly, blushing and acutely aware of the other students staring at him, murmuring, and "Miss? Is Strife a girl?" "I don't think so but it would explain a lot!"

Cloud followed the tall doctor past another set of slightly less ornate gardenia doors, into a relatively unadorned room; waiting was the faceless figure of the headmaster and two nurses, the doctor spoke, "Miss Strife its come to light because of your file from middle school, that we realise that you are in fact, a girl."

Cloud gawked at him disbelievingly as the two nurses mistaking the look for Cloud being insulted that it took them this long to realise, after all it was three weeks into term, smiled sympathetically and reassuringly.

The faceless headmaster, nodded before speaking in a grave tone, "We are dreadfully sorry, Miss Strife, after all, all your lockers are in the boys changing rooms this must have been dreadful for you, several of the students had remarked that you always changed separate from the other boys,"

Cloud shook his head stuttering wildly a vibrant blush in place, "N-no! Y-you've got it all wrong! I-I'm just shy! I d-didn't want to change around strangers!"

The nurses nodded tears in their eyes seemingly disregarding what Cloud had just said, "Oh you poor dear! You we're far to shy and polite to question it! After all you surrounded by strange boys, oh it must have been terrible!"

Cloud shook his head seemingly struggling to speak over his blush and the other people's, who were nodding sagely and murmuring about how brave "She" had been, apparent deafness to his opinion!

"No matter, the situation has been rectified!" The faceless headmaster spoke with an air of finality, "Go with the nurses now, Miss Strife!"

As Cloud was dragged away by the to nurses, he gazed at the heavens, thinking:

Why is it always me!

xXxXxXx end of Genesis' inner theatre xXxXxXx

The host club froze as Cloud spoke, "Hang on isn't there a possibility that they might think I'm a girl?"

oOoOoOo

Genesis' voice rang out to a girl with blond spiky hair that had been pulled into two plats, who was facing the other way, her slender form was accentuated by the soft yellow uniform she wore; her hands were clasped in front of her and her face hidden.

"Cloud!"

The girl whirled around to reveal delicate porcelain features, bright cerulean eyes, that were filled with emotion, plump lips pouting unhappily as unshed tears made the blue eyes glitter.

Genesis continued waving and smiling as he walked over, bag held over one shoulder carelessly, "Have you been waiting long?"

He smiled down at him, before his smile faltered and his eye's clouded with concern, as he spied the unshed tears that filled the Chocobo like orbs gazing up at him, "What's wrong? You look upset." Cloud turned his head away slightly as though in shame, frowning slightly Genesis, took a gentle hold on his shoulder, "Cloud what's wrong?"

Cloud murmured flushing slightly, as though embarrassed by his own emotions, "Every one keep's looking at me!-" a disastrous thing for one so shy, "And no matter how hard I try no one will believe I'm a guy!" Clouds lip wobbled as we spoke, obviously distraught.

Gently, Genesis embraced Cloud, murmuring softly in reassurance to the quaking boy in his arms, "It's okay Cloud, they're only looking because you look adorable. I shall try and talk to the headmaster and help, okay?"

A small shaking hand clutched at his powder blue blazer slightly as Cloud allowed himself that much assurance by clinging to him, ever so slightly, sincere orbs gazed up at him adoringly, lit with hope and trust upon the one that the beheld, as he murmured,

"Thank you, Genesis. It means more than you can imagine, to me."

xXxXxXx End of Genesis' inner theatre xXxXxXx

Genesis started, before gaining a dazed expression once more as he, in his imagination, twirled Cloud around in a field of roses, as they proclaimed their undying devotion for each other.

"You were loved by the Goddess and shared none of her blessings…(3)"

Zack gawked at him and wondered aloud, "He must be having a great day dream, he's quoting Loveless…"

Kadaj stared at him and muttered, "He's kind of creepy though…"

At that Genesis snapped out of his revere, he quipped, "Jealous Kadaj?" he grinned charmingly, "Whilst you wasted time blinded by your jealousy, I have foreseen the out come of this dilemma!"

He twirled with a flourish, practically glowing, "This is obviously a comedic school love story, written by a deranged woman, wherein Cloud and I are the main characters! So that means we're love interests!"

The host club stared at him, sans Sephiroth who was as per usual scribbling away in his black book of infinite wisdom, Zack piped up, "Err, Genny-pie? If you are the main characters who are we?"

Genesis twirled pointing at them with a radiant smile, "You boys, are the hopelessly-in-love-but-never-going-to-get-the-Uke supporting characters!"

This eloquent statement was greeted with blank looks and the snapping sound of a mechanical pencil, almost unnoticeable as it shattered under the pressure of the seriously ticked off Sephiroth's grip, an aura of supreme demonic evilness surrounded him, as he glared at the oblivious red head unnoticed, with malice and loathing, and evil plot for revenge….

Zack and the Remnant three gawked at him before shrieking in unison, "What in Minerva's (4) name are you on about!"

Oblivious to, or rather ignoring their yelling Genesis, drew a line on the floor chirping happily, "So please don't cross this line okay?"

The triplets gawked at him and muttered in perfect sync, "You've got to be kidding…."

Kadaj spoke, "Hey listen, Boss—" Yazoo continued, "- I don't think you get it—" Loz nodded furiously yelping with tears in his eyes, "If people start believing Cloud's a girl, he won't be able to be in the host club any more!"

Genesis froze; an expression of utmost despair fell across his face, as he came to a sudden realisation….

Zack nodded, "Yeah! Think about it Genny-pie!" He paused pulling Chocó his stuffed Chocobo pushy up to look at him, "But - If Chocobo-head started wearing girls clothes, I bet he'd be even more adorable!"

Kadaj nodded at him thinking out loud, "Yeah, he dressed like a girl when he was in middle school right?" Yazoo nodded, "Meaning it wouldn't be the first time his gender got confused…" Loz giggled, "I wonder if he was popular with the boys?"

Sephiroth smirked and checked his black book, he then purred in a manner that made the triplets absolutely certain it was for Genesis' benefit, drawing out each word to give maximum emphasis, "Yes, you right Loz, back in middle school, according to my research, someone would declare their undying love to him at least once a month."

In the background Genesis twitched slightly still white as a sheet.

Zack frowned in confusion, "I see, that means that Genny-pie would find it hard to be with Cloud right?"

Yazoo grinned, "Yes, He would probably be unable to even get close to him-" Kadaj smirked evilly catching on, as Loz chirped happily, "But we would be able to because we are in the same class!" the smirking one nodded in assurance, "And are in class with her all day long!"

Genesis twitched again tear's forming in the corners of his eye's as he muttered in despair and horror, all the while white as a sheet, "No way…."

The door swung inwards, drawing the attention of all present, Cloud's head crowned with a plume of Chocobo-like spikes, peeked around the door as his azure eyes blinked innocently, "Hey guy's sorry I'm late—"

He was then swept into the chest of Genesis, head crushed to the red heads heart as he spoke dramatically, as though he was to be parted from the "king" for ever, "Don't worry Cloud! We are determined to keep you safe! No one will suspect that you are really a girl! We promise!"

He drew back so he could look into the startled Chocobo-look-a-like's eyes, clutching at the blonds shoulders he cried, "Just promise that you will stay our beloved-secret-used-to-be-Princess, for ever more!"

Cloud blinked at him, thoroughly confused before forcing out a befuddled, "Sure."

The other hosts watched the scene, some more apathetic than others, Yazoo, turned to Loz and Kadaj, "Surely it would be a little annoying to watch all the boys flirt with him?"

Loz nodded, "Hmm it would get a little tiresome." Kadaj exclaimed, "Well then that settles it."

A large white board appeared out of nowhere, with the words, "Conceal Clouds Cross-dressing past!" Written on it, complete with drawn ninja stick figures, and a large outlined "Plan A" and "Formation B" written on it.

Genesis then spoke in a manner reminiscent of a commander of the armed forces, "Write then Soldiers, when the time comes position your selves like this. Then wait for your orders!"

The Remnant's and Zack saluted with a "Yes, Sir!" although the triplets salute was mocking in comparison to the energetic boy. Sephiroth stood to the side with Angeal scribbling something down in his book glasses concealing his eyes from the world.

Cloud stood by one of the magnificent bay windows staring on in bemusement, not quite sure whether he should be flattered or creped out how far they were trying to go, to conceal he fact he used to cross dress.

Suddenly his eyes widened with realisation, and he smacked one hand, curled into a fist, flat upon his other palm, I can't believe I didn't realise!

"I've got it! You guys are worried that if people start believing I'm a girl because of my medical file, I won't be able to pay back my debt!"

Cloud turned to look out one of the many panels forming the window, as he stared through Georgian sugar spun glass, he murmured to himself, "My balance is 5,000 gil a month, divide that by 8, million gil…"

Cloud continued muttering to him self as the host club, filled with refined gentlemen, gawked at him, just as he turned around, laughing and scratching the back of his head sheepishly, "Well I guess I'm just going to have to find another way to pay you back!"

Kadaj rounded, on Genesis and his brothers growling in frustrations, at the happy go lucky boy who was smiling away blush in place as his eye's glittered with mirth, "DO SOMETHING!" Kadaj cried, Yazoo agreeing in a more sedate but no less frustrated manner, "Yeah! This subject doesn't appear to have any motivation!"

Genesis nodded growling a reply, "Darn it! Why did we have to get stuck with such a oblivious and naïve Uke!"

Genesis straightened up from where he had been crouching and plotting with the triplets, he yelled suddenly pointing at Cloud dramatically, "Are you saying you hate being a host? That you hate this club?"

Cloud didn't even turn around he stood staring out the window one finger on his chin thinking before answering honestly, "Well to be honest, I would have to say yes…." Genesis went white as a sheet staring at Cloud in horror. Genesis gasped once before deflating and curling up in the corner, a cloud of gloom surrounding him.

Cloud turned suddenly, and hastily elaborated as though afraid he had offended them, "Its not that I don't like you guys or anything! You're all really nice! Besides if people start believing I'm a girl there's nothing I can do you know?"

Cloud smiled at them reassuringly an aura of innocence, naivety and cuteness surrounding him.

Zack gawked, "Spiky-head doesn't seem to care one way or the other!" Loz nodded "Yeah before we do anything else, we need to find a way to motivate him!" Kadaj muttered to himself, "One would think masculine pride would be enough of one but with Cloud…."

Angeal who was ever stoic, murmured in his deep booming and authorities voice, two words, "Fancy tuna."

Cloud froze like a startled rabbit, as the others spoke, his face still hidden from them. Genesis spoke and turned with an evil grin that didn't suit him, "Oh yes, you never got the chance to try some at last week's party did you?"

Kadaj grinned evilly and stage whispered to Loz and Yazoo, "Did you here that!" Loz nodded matching grin, "Yeah he's never had fancy tuna before!" Yazoo grinned slyly in a mock sympathetic manner saying, "I know! Talk about a difficult childhood."

Zack held Chocó up to eye level saying grinning, "If only Cloud would stay in the host club, then he's be able to try all the yummy things he wanted!" Angeal nodded hand on his chin in a manner that implied deep thought or contemplation, Sephiroth grinned evilly glasses glinting, scribbling furiously in his black book, murmuring, "It's really just to bad."

Cloud sweat dropped looking at them, and stuttered flustered, "Hey now, just because I'm poor and I've had any before, doesn't mean that I'm so much of a glutton that I would conceal my past from everyone just so I could try some fancy tuna!"

He laughed nervously at the knowing looks he was receiving from the host club, their smiles clearly stating that they had already won.

Cloud floundered looking away with a blush, "A-am I really going to get to try some?"

The more exuberant members of the host club grinned and laughed in celebration of their victory, as they stared at Cloud's adorable expression.

oOoOoOo

"Attention all students, we will proceed with physical examinations shortly, please attended the school clinic in your respective school building."

Students of both genders, dawdled as the migrated towards the gym hall where they were to have the physical exam, Cloud walked with the silver haired brothers three as they advanced towards their examinations.

Cloud asked suddenly, "What was that "Formation A" stuff you guys were talking about yesterday? What do they do during physical exams here at Shinra anyway?"

Loz grinned at Cloud reassuringly, "Its no different than any other school." Kadaj nodded, "Yeah, why would it be different for us just because we are rich?"

Cloud shrugged smiling back sheepishly, mentally berating himself as he replied, "Yeah, your right, I guess I didn't think about it that way. "Cloud trailed off as he reached the door way to the gym, mentally shrugging off his worries, he pushed the door inwards.

The doors swung inwards to reveal, an large dome ceilinged hall, with a red carpet lined on one side with, doctors, all smiling, in pristine white lab coats, on the other side nurses all young and beautiful dressed in pale pink frilled dresses, with frilled white apron's and well starched cap's.

The entourage chorused "Welcome, students"

Cloud stood their gawking in a rather undignified manner as the triplets brushed past him, Yazoo looking at him strangely when he stuttered, "W-what is all this?" before replying, "Just another Physical exam." Loz nodded walking past, "Yeah the usual."

Cloud muttered to himself in disbelief following the other boys automatically, "T-the usual?" Cloud then sweat dropped as he say two of the frill clad nurses boy to the triplets, whilst one spoke demurely, "Excuse me, Remnant brothers? Please will you follow me this way to have your height measured."

Kadaj replied for all as he spoke with an apathetic, "Sure thing." Cloud watched, as they were lead away before jumping when a kind voice spoke close to his ear, "Mr. Strife?" Cloud whirled around to see a smiling kind looking nurse who smiled wider before continuing by saying, "I'm your nurse for this afternoon, okay?"

Cloud nodded returning her smile, "Okay? She continued taking up his hand and pulling him along, "Please come this way."

Cloud let him self be pulled along past curtains with doctor's student's and nurses standing behind of in front of, as he looked he spied a gaggle of girls complete with two members of the host club at the centre, Zack and Angel, dressed in lab coats and glasses.

Cloud asked to no one but himself, "Why are Angeal and Zack dressed as doctors?" said members of the host club lifted a finger to their lips in synchronisation and went, "Shush!"

Cloud sweat dropped thinking, they're so obvious, why are the dressed like that?

Suddenly out of nowhere Sephiroth appeared, readjusting his glasses, speaking in a manner that made Cloud suspicious that the boy had telepathic abilities, it would explain so much…

"I have those two for back up, the costumes were Zackary's idea and he seemed to think it would make Genesis' plan seem more like a real special opp mission."

Cloud stared thinking eloquently, "Huh...?" before tuning away, out of the corner of his eye he spotted a plump girl being weighed, the doctor spoke in a kind voice, "Congratulations, Miss Jeremiad, you've lost two whole kilograms since last year!" the nurses on hand squealed, and cheered as the delighted girl squealed happily, "Really? That's so good to hear! I though for sure I was heavier!"

The doctor smiled replying, "Not at all! If you keep this up you'll be even healthier next year!"

Cloud stared at the scene wondering inwardly why is there something wrong with this picture? Isn't it a bit wired that all the doctors are all so jovial and nice?

Again Sephiroth spoke reading his mind, "All the doctors, and nurses on hand are hand picked by the headmaster, this may be a school but it's also a business." He shrugged in a nonchalant fashion, "Besides, most of the student's attending come from well to do families, that have their own private doctor's, meaning this is just a formality."

Cloud deflated, thinking once again, these damn rich people….

oOoOoOo

Sephiroth smirked to him self and made to follow after the disgruntled Cloud, only to be bumped into by a very tall broad man, in a white overall, he had a buzz-cut with designs saved to his head his mahogany skin contrasted sharply with the metal prosthetic arm on his right hand, Sephiroth quirked a brow as the man growled in a deep voice, "Sorry man."

Sephiroth watch the man make his way through the crowd, murmuring to himself, "How odd." And opening his black folder and skimming through a few pages, before frowning, "Very odd." He murmured before going on his way.

oOoOoOo

A nurse with a clipboard smiled and said, "Remnant brothers, it's time to take your chest measurements, you may use the area behind the curtain to undress."

Kadaj sighed and pulled off his tie muttering, "Doesn't matter to me." Yazoo shrugged his shirt of his slender shoulders agreeing with a smile, "We are not shy, it doesn't really bother us."

The girls watching with bated breath blushed as Kadaj and Yazoo revealed their bare chests to the world; both were lanky and slender, though Yazoo was a smidge taller.

The girls screamed. Sephiroth smirked and spoke in his usual purr, "Quite an impressive turn out today, huh Cloud? Physical exam day is always quite popular with the ladies."

Cloud gawped thinking, what's wrong with the girls at this school?

Loz pouted with frustration with his tie and whined, "Brother!"

Yazoo immediately responded with a kind smile, and a small giggle at Loz' expression, he gently padded over to his bigger, yet younger brother. Deft fingers made quick work of the knot Loz' tie had become, Yazoo had started on the shirt button's before Loz' spoke still pouting, "Why do we have to get undressed for the doctor's anyway? I don't like the idea of them touching you anyway!"

Yazoo blushed slightly and tugged the shirt of Loz' broad shoulders as Kadaj spoke, "Don't cry Loz! I don't like it either!"

Loz' welled up and enfolded the blushing Yazoo into a protective hug as Kadaj stroked his hair. Yazoo grumbled, "You two don't seem to have a problem touching me!"

If possible the screams got louder.

Suddenly Cloud was pushed away behind the squealing crowds back at a high speed by, Zack and Angeal, the puppy, stage whispering, "Quick Spiky-head! This way!"

Cloud found himself thrust backwards through a curtain, as his backwards momentum propelled him inwards, he felt for a moment that he was going to fall, before large warm hands grasped his shoulders and cushioned his impact with a hard chest.

As arms wrapped around his Cloud looked up as a familiar voice murmured good-naturedly, "I have been waiting for you, my secret Princess." Genesis wrapped his arms around Clouds shocked form and rested his head upon the blond boys shoulder.

Cloud tore him self from Genesis' arms confused, before whirling around and stumbling so he fell, he winced at the impact and blinked up at the red head, questioning blearily, "Genesis, Sir?

Genesis giggled, (in a very manly way) and crouched hands on his cheeks as he exclaimed quietly, "Aww your so cute when your surprised!"

Cloud glared at him balefully before a voice called, "Mr. Strife we ready to do your chest measurements. Once you've finished disrobing you can come with me."

Genesis spoke in a hushed whisper as the fangirls waited with bated breath to see Cloud disrobe, he looked at Cloud with a warm smile saying, "This is the moment we've been waiting for. Don't worry Cloud leave it to me. I have a plan!"

He then went through the curtain with a blond wig in place.

"Err… excuse me is there a problem Mr. Rhapsodos Sir?"

The crowd broke out into whispers of, "Why is Genesis wearing a wig?" as the Remnant's and Zack burst into uncontrollable laughter. Genesis growled and ripped the wig off and yelped at the laughing foursome, as the girls laughed, "You jerk's! You said there was no way the girls would be able to tell the difference between Cloud and I!"

Kadaj, as Genesis shook him, sniggered, "Its pay back for calling us the -doesn't-have-a-chance-with-the-Uke supporting cast!"

Genesis then attempted to peak around the curtain to see if Cloud was still there asking hesitantly, "Cloud? I'm sorry but they seem to have figured my plan out…"

Genesis recoiled at the heat of the glare he received, it pierced his very soul with loathing and abhorrence and thus Genesis fell away from the curtain defeated and screaming in terror.

Cloud sighed, Just as I though Genesis lives in his own care free world, he's such an idiot! How could he think a plan like that would work? Why did he have to drag me into it!

The mortified Cloud felt a hand gently place itself upon his shoulder it was large, and cold as though he had been holding something chilled, the owner of said hand looked down at him head cocked to the side curiously a small very small smile playing around the corners of his lips, as he spoke cat like green eyes slightly concealed by his reflective glasses.

He asked softly in his always slightly menacing tone strangely reassuring to the embarrassed boy, "Cloud, if your ready I have prepared a special boys clinic upstairs, with the doctor standing by sworn to secrecy about your file."

Cloud looked up at him gratefully, as the other hosts (sans Genesis) poked their heads around the curtain as Zack spoke, "It turn's out all the doctor's here today are all staff at one of Sephy-pants' family hospitals today!"

Kadaj muttered, "Would have been nice if he had said something earlier…"

Sephiroth smirked at them readjusting his glasses he spoke sweetly, "I'm sorry, I had to get my revenge to you know. I have a firm belief that I am not supporting cast, besides I most certainly have more of a chance with the "Uke" than you do Genesis."

Genesis twitch slightly from where he stood dazed, girls crowding around mystified one squealed, "Ooh, check it out! Genesis is lamenting!" another giggled, "So cool!"

Genesis still dazed murmured, "Cloud is-Cloud is, angry with me?"

oOoOoOo

Cloud knocked on the large door, hearing a female doctor's voice call, "Come in."

As Cloud entered the office like room the doctor turned in her chair and spoke, "Mr. Strife, I have been made aware of the situation concerning your file, if you like you can use the area over there to get undressed."

Cloud nodded at the smiling woman, and made his way over to the curtained area.

oOoOoOo

Sephiroth, Angeal and Zack made their way down a curtain-lined corridor, towards the other host club members, before a distraught female voice exclaimed, "I'm telling the truth! A scary gangster pervert grabbed my shoulder! I've never been more scared!"

Two nurses tried to calm the distraught girl down, as another of the girls murmured, "That must have been terrible!"

Sephiroth frowned and intoned, "I had a feeling this might happen."

The two others looked at him in confusion, Zack asked, "What do you mean, Sephy-Chan?"

Sephiroth folded his arms one hand grasping his chin in thought, "Earlier today I saw a strange man. He was wearing a white lab coat but he was obviously not one of our hospitals doctors. I did think it was a little odd."

Zack yelped at him a frustrated pout in place, "Shouldn't you have said something sooner!"

Sephiroth waved his hand dismissing Zack's righteous fury, and said, "It is no problem and the security guard will catch him."

A male voice spoke behind them, "Tell me Miss, did you happen to see where the gangster pervert went?"

The sobbing girl sniffled, "H-he went in the direction of the special boys clinic."

The host club froze.

Cloud!

oOoOoOo

Cloud pulled his tie off from around his neck, and placed in on the neat pile of clothes forming next he unbuttoned his shirt revealing a slender pale chest, he bent down to fold his shirt but straightened up when he heard the rustling of cloth.

He turned and spied a tall man who looked an awful lot like the character "Mr. T" (5), he noticed the man was peeking through the curtains at the turned back of the doctor, the man turned when Cloud asked quietly, "What are you doing here?"

The man whirled around, and grabbed Cloud, and placed a large metal hand over his mouth, hissing, "Seriously, its not what ya thinkin' Spiky-ass—"

He was interrupted by the yell of "Starlight Kick!" and the poor strange man was sent head first into a wall by a powerful kick to the head delivered by Genesis.

Cloud could do nothing but stare as the red head landed gracefully as the triplets spoke behind him, "One, good looks that attract the public eye."

Sephiroth purred menacingly, seemingly appearing from the shadows, "Two, more wealth than you can imagine."

Angeal spoke next in his deep gentle voice, "Three, Honour that will never be able to over look—" "—The hideous wickedness of this world." the strangely serious Zack, finished Angeal's sentence.

Cloud stared wide-eyed at the prone form of the man, until a shirt was placed over his shoulders as his had been abandoned on the floor, he looked up at Genesis who had placed it on him.

Genesis proclaimed, as he posed dramatically, "That's what makes up the Shinra host club!"

The man stared at them, he yelped, "Wow hold up here buddy! There's been a mistake!"

The man looked down at his arm, "My Names Barret Wallace, yo? I'm a scientist that works on one of those Mako plants you see, but earlier this year, some idiotic bugger pressed the wrong button and I lost my hand. It was all covered by the insurance but it took 6 weeks and so I left me daughter Marlene at that crazy lady my ex-wife's house, only the Psycho woman moved! And she took Marlene with her! So I came here in the hope I could find Marlene but I got mistaken for a doctor and was dragged inside!"

Kadaj muttered, "Well duh, your wearing a lab coat." Loz' nodded in an agreement, "Its not like its wasn't an easy mistake to make!"

Barret continued, "When I tried to talk to that little miss, she screamed and I kinda panicked, I'm no good with crying teenage girls ya no? Marlene's only little!"

Genesis had anime tears streaming down his face as he said, "That's so tragic!"

Sephiroth looked thoughtful for a moment, "Mr. Wallace, I think you may have the wrong place. Are you looking for Shinra middle school?"

Barret looked up, and answered, "How did you know? Yeah that's right."

Sephiroth smirked, "I thought that might be the case, this is Shinra Academy, it's the secondary school, the high school if you will. Your daughter doesn't go to school here."

Barret gawped at him, as did Genesis. Yazoo raised an eyebrow at the fallen man, "You mean you didn't realise that this is the high school? That's pretty sad."

Zack grinned slinging an arm over Sephiroth's shoulder, "Geeze, Seph I'm impressed how did you figure it out that he had the wrong school."

Sephiroth removed Zack's arm from his person saying mercilessly, "Well if his daughters "only little" and Mr. Wallace is unused to teenagers, that implies she can't be old enough for high school now can she? It pays to use your brain Zackary."

Zack winced a little and grinned sheepishly, Genesis spoke seriously for a moment and asked, "Sephiroth, please would you find the directions to the other school's grounds for this man, I want to help him find his daughter."

Cloud looked at the red head, it was like that moment when he helped Cloud find his wallet in the school pond, Genesis was wearing the same strange smile, Sephiroth smirked slightly, "What ever you say." And went to follow his order.

oOoOoOo

The host club watched from the open bay window, as the man went on his way, Loz' questioned Genesis, "Boss you sure this is the right thing to do? Even if he find's the school its possible that his ex-wife has moved the girls school."

Genesis smiled that strange smile, "Well, he'll have to find out for him self, won't he?"

Cloud looked up at him and smiled slightly, before saying, "Err guys would you please get out?"

Genesis froze silly expressions back in place, as he asked fearing the answer, "C-Cloud? Your not still mad are you? Your not thinking of quitting the host club are you?"

Cloud shook his head smiling, "No silly, I have to complete my physical duh…" he paused as though remembering something before beaming up at the host club, "But I'm not doing this just because your bribing me with food! I'm doing it to pay back my debt."

Genesis cooed and glomped Cloud, "Your so cute Cloud~! Aww don't deny it! We know you just want that fancy tuna!"

"Hey Stop Genesis, please your hurting me! HEY! DON"T TOUCH ME THERE!"

The triplets chorused, "Buzz! Red card! Looks like the Boss is the real pervert!"

Cloud yelled, "Who cares? Would you guys just get out of here!"


Nyahaha!

(1) Banoran equals Roman

(2) Sephy-Chan's last name, means "nightmare"

(3) Loveless quote crisis core i believe

(4)Goddess of final fantasy 7 world!

(5)err... as i think this copy righted me no own kays?

PS. Please review!