Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, nor do I completely own Nick and Jeff (although I'm pretty much creating their personalities myself since we haven't gotten to know them too well on the show).
Nick really didn't feel well as he left the cafeteria. He felt too full, like he was going to be sick again. The exact same feeling he'd had the day before, right before he'd lost his breakfast. It really hadn't had anything to do with nerves over the competition, but it was just easier for him to let everyone believe that had been the cause. Explaining what was really going on – that Nick couldn't stand the feeling of being full, and that he made himself get sick to make that feeling going away – wasn't an option. Nick knew that no one would understand that he couldn't stand feeling sick.
There was a bathroom just down the hall from the library, which made it the perfect excuse for getting away from everyone else so that he could make himself feel better. It was an art he had perfected over the past few months – making sure the bathroom was empty, locking himself in the stall and kneeling over the toilet, forcing his finger as far back down his throat as he could reach until he could feel the vomit making its way up. As disgusting as it seemed, getting sick was a relief for Nick. It made him feel better, knowing that even if he had overeaten he wouldn't feel sick the rest of the day. Nick closed his eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths before he flushed the toilet and straightened up just as someone knocked on the stall door.
"Y-yeah?" Nick asked. He felt panicked, knowing that someone else had heard him get sick.
"Nick? Are you okay?" Nick recognized the voice as Brian, one of his fellow Warblers.
"I'm fine, Brian." Nick opened the door of the stall, praying that Brian wouldn't see any kind of sign that he'd been sick recently.
"I heard you getting sick…" the other boy began. Nick could see the look of concern on Brian's face, and his mind raced through how he could convince the boy that he was fine.
"I think I just ate too much at breakfast… I didn't really eat anything yesterday, and I think it's messing with me," Nick replied with a smile. "I feel fine now, really." Nick walked over to the sink, washing his hands and rinsing out his mouth to try and get rid of the taste of his breakfast coming back up.
"You would tell us if something was wrong, right?" Nick looked at Brian through the mirror, confused.
"Of course."
"And you'll tell someone if it happens again?"
"Yeah… I'll go to the nurse if it becomes a problem," Nick replied. It wasn't a lie, really; he would go to the nurse if it became a problem. But he wasn't going to go just because he'd eaten too much and he needed to make himself sick to feel better.
"You should go back to the cafeteria and get a banana… when you get sick, you lose potassium and that makes you feel even worse." Nick nodded.
"Yeah… I'll grab one on the way back up to my room"
Nick didn't actually run into the cafeteria on the way back upstairs. He knew from experience that he wouldn't be able to keep a banana down if he did try to eat it, and bringing something like that into his dorm room would only make Jeff suspicious.
"I thought you were getting a book…" Jeff began as Nick walked back into the room. He'd forgotten that part in his attempts to minimize what Brian had heard in the bathroom.
"Yeah… Mrs. Malson wasn't there for some reason, so the library's closed. I guess I'll just have to get up early tomorrow to run get it before class, and try and get the work done during breaks," Nick replied, walking towards the bathroom to brush his teeth. Thankfully Jeff thought that was normal behavior – Nick always brushed his teeth after meals, something he'd learned from living with a dentist for a mother. It made it easier for Nick to cover up the fact that he'd gotten sick again.
When he was done in the bathroom, Nick cuddled up next to Jeff on his side of the bed – which was really the two twin beds pushed together – and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's waist. "So I thought a comedy might be a good thing. And not anything too graphic or disgusting, so I picked Bridesmaids."
"Sounds good," Nick replied as Jeff pressed play.
Nick didn't remember falling asleep, but he knew that he had been when he woke up to a round wet patch of fabric under his mouth on Jeff's chest.
"You should have woken me up…" Nick began.
"You were sleeping so peacefully… after yesterday I figured you could use the sleep." Nick nodded, trying to ignore the way his stomach growled. "Nick, you're shaking…"
"What?" Nick looked down at his hands, surprised to see that Jeff was right. "Oh…"
"Do you feel okay?" Jeff asked. Nick felt strange about the way Jeff put a hand to his forehead. "Do you need something to eat? Some water? Maybe I should take you to the infirmary…"
"Jeff… slow down," Nick replied. "I'm fine… I just need to get a drink of water." Nick started to get up, but Jeff stopped him before he got very far.
"You stay here… I'll get it."
"Jeff, I'm not sick…"
"But you are dehydrated, and I don't want you to pass out again," Jeff replied as he made his way over to the bathroom to grab a glass of water for Nick. Nick sighed, shaking his head and letting his boyfriend baby him. It was easier than arguing, which Nick knew wouldn't get them anywhere. And admittedly he did feel a little shaky, so it was probably a good thing Jeff was going to be hard-headed about all of this.
Nick took the glass of water as Jeff sat back down next to him, tentatively taking a few sips to make sure that he wasn't going to start feeling sick from that. Usually water was fine, but sometimes his gag reflex could make things difficult.
"Are you feeling better?" Jeff asked after a moment. Nick nodded, smiling at the other boy and leaning in for a kiss.
"Thank you."
"If you aren't feeling up to going downstairs for lunch, I can bring something back to the room for you…"
"I think I'll be fine," Nick replied, shaking his head. "Really, I just needed some water. We still have almost an hour before lunch… I think I'm going to go take a shower."
"Okay." Nick smiled as Jeff pressed a kiss against the side of his head. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Nick replied, standing up and walking into the bathroom.
Nick avoided looking in the mirror as he waited for the water to warm up; he hated the way he looked. He could see bones starting to stick out, but there was still so much fat there that he couldn't see himself as anything but fat and disgusting. He was always glad when he could finally climb behind the shower curtain and hide from the mirror. He was almost done bathing when he started feeling lightheaded again. He sat down quickly, closing his eyes and turning the hot water down a little in hopes that being cold would help.
"Nick? You okay in there?" Nick had to stifle a groan as Jeff knocked on the door to check on him.
"I'm fine… I'll be out in a minute." It took Nick a minute to be comfortable standing up, but finally he managed to get up and put his clothes back on so that he could go back out to the main part of the room. He grabbed another glass of water before he went out, knowing that if he even hinted that he might still feel dehydrated Jeff wouldn't question why he'd been in the shower for so long.
"Nick…?" Jeff began to ask.
"I'm fine… I'm just still a little dehydrated." Nick went over to the bed and sat down, letting Jeff sit next to him and wrap an arm around him as he drank the second glass of water.
"Maybe I should take you to the infirmary…"
"Jeff, I'm okay. I just need to drink some more water. It's not worth bothering the nurse."
"But if you start to feel worse…"
"Then I'll let you take me, okay? Just give me some time to try and take care of it first."
"Okay."
A/n: So, obviously you all know what's going on right now, at least to some extent. Yes, Nick has an eating disorder… even though he doesn't see that it's a problem. And OMG… I loved that episode! I won't spoil it since it hasn't aired everywhere yet, but it's AMAZING!
