Blue (The Cold Within)
The one thing Jayne Cobb always could detect, without any difficulties and wherever they hit, dirt was the brothel, or at least the bars where the women weren't no prude. And like any other time when they hit a moon or planet, he immediately set his path to this kind of entertainment, as soon as the engines of the ship went off.
About an hour and some drinks later he'd already found himself some 'decent' female company, albeit 'decent' in the Jayne dictionary was far from the common understanding of this word.
The ample curves and the affectionate demeanor of that woman promised to give him some hours of fun between the sheets and a little sanctuary from the cold of the black and that was all he was looking for.
Soon they found themselves a room to rent and she did not disappoint his expectations about the fun. She was bendy and not shy at all when it came to givin' and receivin' pleasure, although as soon as they fell apart, still sweaty and panting from the sexin', he could already feel the all too familiar cold creep into his guts again. Pulling her buxom body closer to him, he instantly knew that all the heat she radiated wouldn't be enough to reach and melt the icy core that built inside of him.
Back in the bar he'd found the heavy odor of her perfume attractive, a welcome distraction from the smell of engine grease that always lingered in the air on the boat - no matter how much Kaylee fiddled with the air recycling unit. Now the perfume nauseated him and her ample curves were so different from the lean figure of …..
"Ta ma de! Where did that thought came from?" Jayne shot up bolt upright. "Not again!"
"Mmm? What's th' matter, sugar?" the woman next to him purred and lifted herself up on one arm. Sensing that he was about to lose the interest in her, she seductively let her hand wander down from his chest south into his lap to his now slack cock and tried to convince him to go for another round.
Jayne rudely shoved her away and ignored her whining protest as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
"Get out!" he growled relentlessly as he picked up her clothes and tossed them into her lap. Her answer was a remarkable string of curses. Some of them even Jayne hadn't known before. Maybe he would have appreciated that input of foul language at another time, but right now, he just wanted to be alone. He sent a feral growl into her direction to spur her on when she didn't move fast enough for his taste.
Even after she had furiously slammed the door shut he could still hear her grouse and mutter in the hallway but he didn't give a damn.
Dropping back onto the mattress and threw an arm over his eyes. He sniffled and almost gagged in disgust, the smell of that woman still lingered on his skin. Things like that had never bothered him before, so why did the smell of cheap perfume, sweat and sex make him sick this time?
Groaning he rolled onto his stomach and pulled the pillow over his head.
This little core minx must have messed with his head the other night when she had been on night watch, he thought. She'd probably fiddled with the heat, too. It had been much warmer up there and she'd probably coaxed Kaylee into doing something with the light. The bubbly mechanic was always eager to "bring some color" onto the ship.
Actually, the orange glow and its warmth hadn't been so bad. He hadn't felt so calm and content in a long time and he would have been totally fine with just sitting there with Moony and watching the black. Though this he would never admit to anyone - could never admit it - he had a certain reputation to keep up!
He scoffed and angrily sent the pillow flying into the shadows of the room.
Of course Moony had to spoil this perfect moment because she just couldn't sit still! She had to wiggle around to show off with her leg.
"Creamy white satin girl flesh. The sort you don't get to see in any brothel or only once in a blue moon," he mused dreamily before his suspicion took over again and his angry snarl echoed through the plain room.
The whole show and tease had probably been planned in detail beforehand, even and especially the amount of flesh she had to reveal. This whole fancy-pansy-girly-gos-se had made him all woozy and he couldn't stop thinking about her skin and how smooth and perfect it looked.
Sure, there was more bare flesh on the women in them candy bar commercials on the cortex, but, the way Her fingers had trailed the exact path his eyes had set on her leg only seconds before, had caused him to run into his bunk and jerk off like a horny teenager.
Down there in his bunk, it hadn't been just the usual seek for physical relief either. This one had been different in a lot of ways. Usually he would have thought on a woman posing and wiggling her backside, showing what made her a woman, and most of the time that was all he needed to 'get into the mood'.
Occasionally he'd fantasized about sexin' some women too, but in those fantasies, like in real life, it was never a tender act. Raw, hot and determined. That was all he wanted and all he thought he would need. Knowing which buttons to push, he always made sure that the women got what they expected so he would get his, too. You give some - you get some, that's how it works.
Fine, it had started out normal - if one wanted to consider his strange lust after the little psycho-psychic as normal - but after a while everything had become fuzzy and red and strangely enough it had felt like someone was responding to his fantasies. He couldn't recall feeling something so intense before. Not that he'd disliked it but it was so complete different from what he knew and that scared - "Nah, scratch that! Jayne Cobb ain't scared of anythin'!" - worried him.
And why this strange desire to take it slow this time? And with Moony of all girls? He was pretty sure she was a first timer in the sack.
Although there probably wasn't a single soul in the whole 'Verse that could get past her over-protective brother or who Simon would approve of to bed his precious little sister anyway. The doc would probably go ballistic or have a stroke if someone dared to utter a request like that, but Simon's health was none of Jayne's concerns.
Albeit up to a certain point Jayne could understand Simon's notion. The idea of some horny dickhead touching the girl in some -or any- way that wasn't related to a bar fight made his own stomach turn.
Frustrated Jayne rolled back on his back again and watched the ceiling fan moving slowly in the dim blue glow of the emergency light.
It hadn't occurred to him that he didn't want some hun dan to touch the little pilot, but at the very same time he'd imagined what it would be like to slowly explore every inch of that creamy skin o' hers and every single curve himself.
He'd seen enough of her - and not only that small patch of flesh - to get a rough idea how she would look like undressed. He grinned smugly.
"The benefit of experience."
When he'd let his mind wander over her neck that particular night, he'd marveled at how she would taste like and all at once the sensation had been there.
It had been like he could almost taste and touch her for real and that she, someone or something would answer to this touch. And how he had wanted her to touch him.
It had all been so real. Her exploring hands and the soft mewls she had let out, the feel of her breasts under his tongue and in his mouth. When he finally had felt her wet heat clenching around him like he was really plunging into her, he hadn't been able to think nor to hold back anymore. He'd bucked hard into his hand, tugging, pulling and circling while wistfully moaning her name.
He couldn't remember he'd ever come this hard from his own hand before. His vision had become a blurred red cloud and millions of stars had exploded behind his eyelids.
The memory alone was enough to make him grow hard again.
"Gorramit! This has to end before I'll go all muddy in the brainpan like lil' Crazy!"
Jayne jumped off the bed and stomped into the bathroom.
He really had to get her out of his head. Yes, he'd gotten used to her… somehow. At least he wasn't freaked out by her anymore and the removal of all his pin-up-girls because their surreal beauty had suddenly become boring to him was totally coincidental and had absolutely nothing to do with his acceptance of the girl.
But fantasizing about the girl being all naked when he was alone in his quarters? Sexin' her like someone he cared about? And wishing she would care about him? Awkward - even by his standards! No, this was more than awkward; this was outright terrifying!
"She can read minds, though she said she tries not to." He thought as he turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. "But she also said she could kill with her brain."
Jayne still wasn't sure if she had been serious back then, but he had no intentions to put the latter assertions to the test if she would happen to get a glimpse of the thoughts he was having about her lately.
And even if the 'mind-killing' turned out to be just one of her feng le jokes, she would most likely at least whup his ass mightily if she'd find out.
It wasn't that he couldn't stand his ground against her, he was certain that he could, but he wasn't that much into pain. Furthermore the personal experience with the girl and the memory of Miranda taught him to better be cautious around her when she gets furious. Plus there was still the possibility of getting spaced if she'd get it into her crazy head and run to her brother or the captain with her findings.
Nope this one wasn't for him, not this time. There was a 'Verse full of women he could fantasize about or have sex with instead.
He exhaled deeply and tried to ignore the cold lump growing larger in his stomach as he stepped under the hot spray.
The best way to get her out of his head was to wash the memory of that night out of his brain with alcohol; and he happened to know a place or two on this moon where they served the right 'medicine' to forget.
But first he had to get rid of the smell of one woman before he could start to drink his pathetic self into oblivion about another.
