Title: Therapy
Summary: Break Up Time
Spoiler: Season 3
Pairings: Multiple
Disclamier: I don't own anything affiliated with Grey's anatomy or the shows itself. So please do not sue me as I am making no money from writing this. All I ask for is reviews!!
THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THE LOVELY REVIEWS- I KNOW EVERYONE HAS THEIR FAVOURITE PAIRINGS, BUT HOW THIS IS GOING TO END…. JUST LIKE THE SHOW NO ONE KNOWS. BUT I WILL RESPECT EVERYONE PAIRINGS AND WILL PUT SOME OF IT IN THE STORY. UNTILL THEN CARRY ON REVIEWING!!!!
FEAR OR FIGHT
(VOICE OVER)
Some great men once identified six primary emotional states: surprise, fear, disgust, anger, happiness and sadness. When you work in a hospital it seems that the only state we operate in is fear, sure sometimes we express the others, we nip the tip of each never quite getting there, never allowing ourselves to feel the good that they can bring….. Rather it is fear that motives- we work hard because we fear losing a patient, we form relationships because we fear being alone, we push people away because we fear letting them in- we as a group fear change, the unknown. The unknown is incurable therefore unfixable….. But of course as doctors we never admit that we fear anything, no we just going on pretending that we can actually carry out the spectrum of emotion. Pretending! That's what we do best…
It took Kayla half an hour to calm down after Mr Karev had left her room, and she cursed herself for letting him rattle her that easily, she wasn't normally like this, but after it happened she had become like a half lit fuse ready to explode at the slightest whim. But she couldn't afford to make another slip up, that's what got a person into trouble, no from now on she had to do better, she was after all a professional and professionals were never allowed to make mistakes.
Finishing her third cup of coffee she settled back into her seat waiting for the next patient Callie O'Malley, she was sure that this was going to be the easiest meeting of the day, but little did she know that it was all going to go down hill from here.
"I'm getting a divorce" stated Callie as soon as she entered the room, she walked impatiently towards the seat opposite Kayla and sat with dramatic flair.
Kayla blinked once then twice before causally leaning forward "why?"
"Why?" she repeated "because apparently I just don't get him" Kayla wasn't sure but she guessed from the way her voice went up a level that it is was suppose to be an imitation of someone "well at least that's what little miss sunshine says"
"Miss Sunshine?"
She sighed "just forget it, I'm not going to rat out a frie- well she's a close friend of my husband"
"Who you're going to divorce"
"Right" she nodded slowly "no not right I can't divorce him his my guy, damn his friends" her tone reflected both anger and annoyance to a tee
"So" Kayla asked in mock confusion "you're not going to divorce him them"
"No, I'm no pushover" she shifted her body to one of relaxed determination
"Good, I'm glad you-"
"But then" she leaned forward in a conspirator manner "he has these annoying habits. Like when we're at work he'll talk about" her voice dropped a decimal "our sex lives, and that is not what I want to be known for- doing it with an intern I am not Meredith!"
"Meredith is?"
She waved her hand dismissively "Oh just forget about her, what do I do?"
"I… the fact that you find some of his habits slightly off putting"
Callie ignored her and continued ranting "He has no spine; I practically had to beg him to stick up for me in front of his friends, who by the way hate me. We are totally different"
"Opposites attract"
"Well then maybe were just- he doesn't even talk to me when he needs help"
"Callie, he may not go to you when he needs advice not yet but he chose you"
Her demeanour changed and Kayla could see the vulnerability shine through "But I want him to want me the way I want him"
Settling back into her chair, Kayla picked up her pen in a natural manner and then turned to focus exclusively on Callie, out of reflex her tone adopted the recognizable 'DR' voice yet it held degrees of warmth intended to reach her conscious "He will, and I know the waiting is hard and it sucks but he will. You say his friends are turning their back on him then he needs you Callie, because you're his girl"
Callie's lips turned up in a smile "I'm his girl" she smiled "he gave me a ring" she looked down at it "you won't tell anyone about this, I'm not normally so"
"I won't" Kayla butted in
"Good, so about those habits of his they ever going to get better"
Kayla let out a genuine laugh "Nope! But I guarantee you'll get better at ignoring them"
"Great! But what do I do about his friend's cause their important to him"
"And by default there important to you"
"Right I get all the crappy baggage"
"Callie what do you feel is the main obstacle between you and his friends"
Callie paused her face reflecting deep thought "I don't know, maybe it's because I'm an attendant"
"I think the root may be deeper than that, tell me what is the obstacle between you making friends with them?"
"Em them, I've tried for the sake of George but I won't degrade myself forever, I just don't get it, the way she feel about me it goes beyond sisterly love its just"
Kayla moved closer again, she could virtually see the cogs in her head turning
"Its like she's in love with him or something"
"Callie I don't think"
"Look at the facts" snapped Callie as she got up and started to pace the room "she all me me me, she doesn't want him to have anyone else, she's practically can't go a day without him"
"Still Callie, isn't this the same woman who just lost her fiancé"
"Well then maybe it's some sort of infatuation, she displacing her love for what's his face- Denny to George"
"Callie I understand that your feeling frustrated but I really think that you need to sit down and take a step back from this"
"No, I'm seeing clearly now, Izzie probably thinks she's in love with him and that's why she hates me"
"Callie, I don't think that's it, I think maybe Izzie's afraid"
"Afraid? Izzie? I don't think so you've met her, and I'm telling you that I'm right" She moved quickly towards the door "I'm going to talk to her" she turns to Kayla "I should talk to her right?"
"I really don't think-"
Callie cut her of again "your right you talk to her" she smiles in triumph "yeah, this is so great that you're here, so ok you talk to her and next meeting you can tell me if I'm correct. I can't wait to tell Addison" she muttered the latter and walked out the room. Kayla stared in disbelief at the vacant spot, she was sure that she had just made things a whole lot more complicated,
------
"Shepard" nodded Burke
"Hi, so what you got today"
"Nothing interesting, you"
Derek picked up his file looked up at Burke and then back down at his file "I'm seeing the DR. today you know the psychologist"
Burke smiled "and"
Derek dropped the folder "Addison told her something about me. I known how these doctors work they'll take her side- male doctors tend to like her"
"It's a female"
"What?" asked Derek in confusion
"The Dr, he's a she"
"Really! Now that's bad as well you know how all these women stick together"
"I'm sure she'll be professional, after all the Chief found her"
"Yeah but her decided this a week ago and she's her already"
"Give her a chance"
"Yeah, well lets see how you feel after Christina's talked to her" as his look Derek smiled "oh she's in their now"
------
Christina sat across from Kayla, quiet and sullen. She was poised, her face a mask as she looked straight at her.
"So" started Kayla "how's your day been going"
"Fine" her tone was clipped
"So why do you think you're here"
Christina looked up in amusement "seriously we're gonna do this, the whole nine yards which will lead to the eventual telling that it all steam from an unfulfilled desire from my childhood" at Kayla arched eyebrow she continued "my mother sent me to one back in high school"
"What for?"
"That, its, it does matter now, I'm over it"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm alive aren't I?" Kayla was shocked at the tone and noted that there was a deeper story to be found.
"So how do get along with your fellow interns"
"Fine I guess, does it matter I'm not here to socialise I'm here to become a doctor"
"So you have no friends"
At her tone Christina looked up "I have friends"
"I'm sure you do"
Christina's eyes narrowed "I see what you're doing with the reverse psychology crap"
Kayla hid her smile behind a coffee mug as she took a sip "is it working"
"Well it's sneaky and underhanded, but yes"
"So friends?"
"Meredith"
"Meredith, well she's a familiar name" she mumbled
"What?" asked Christina
"Nothing you were saying?"
"Christina looked at her a moment longer "I am going to get married"
Kayla's eyes widened in shock but quickly reverted back to their neutral expression, she had known that some attendents were dating interns but she had no idea that she was one of them. She seemed so controlled, almost emotionless the type that didn't have time for the trivialities of a relationship, not because of the effort because she appeared to be a hard worker, but rather because it involved dealing and responding to other people at an emotional level. But still she was intrigued by her "congratulations are in order then" maybe Christina didn't need help she seemed to be although slightly imbalanced one of the more rational people
Christina looked up her face drawn in bewilderment as if she had finally noticed something Kayla assumed that this may have been the first time she told anyone.
"Me, I'm Christina Yang, I don't do people I don't do emotions I…"
"Christina" her voice was low as her own confusion seeped in
"I don't" she shook her head in confusion "What has he done to me?"
"Chris" she tried again to break in the woman's own self analysis
"I've turned into Meredith, I'm brooding and moaning over a guy I am so pathetic"
"You're in love"
"I can't, I worked so hard to be a doctor and now I'm…. I have to break up with Burke"
For the second time today Kayla was shocked into stupor, the figurative penny had now not just dropped but had been steam rolled by a tractor. This is what happens when people don't let the Dr. do the analysis they come up with all sorts of impromptu thoughts and roll with them. It was like being in a doctors office gave everyone the power to suddenly know what they were thinking and feeling, like suddenly they could sort out their own lives without anyone's help. The fact was that people need her as a psychologist not because they were actually incapable to sort of their lives themselves but because sometimes people didn't allow themselves to see the whole picture, they were limited to their own perspectives, locked by their own fears to which they never recognise as existing. Doctors as a whole are self centred creatures unable to take advice even from their own. (A/N: no offence to any doctors, this isn't true… well it may be LOL!!)
"Christina" Kayla's tone was sharp "different does have to be bad, change doesn't have to be bad and caring about someone doesn't have to make you any less dedicated"
"But"
"Sometimes change, even when it's hard and seems to go against your very nature, can be the best thing for you. Tell me whether you've benefited from this relationship; tell me whether you're willing to walk away from it now. You're working hard to become a doctor and you don't want that to be in vain, but you've also probably worked just as hard to be a girlfriend. Are you really willing to let all your efforts go to waste?"
Christina looked up and stared at the doctor.
-----
"Hey Christina" said Meredith "how'd it go"
"It was good, why?"
Meredith stopped and pulled Christina to a halt beside her "you seem I don't know a little off"
"I'm fine Meredith, so just back of"
"Christina I'm just trying to help"
Christina took a step back "then just give me some space, I need to think"
"Ok, but I'm here if you need to talk"
Christina didn't say anything she began to walk away but then as an afterthought stopped "I know" she then continued to walk.
------
"So Dr. Shepered is it"
"Actually it's Derek"
"Well nice to meet you Derek"
Derek leaned forward in his chair "let's cut to the chase whatever Addison said is untrue"
"Addison? She, we didn't really mention you"
"You what? She, that little" he shook himself in frustration
"I'm sensing some extreme frustration"
"Yeah well, why does it seem that once you get divorced you can never go back to just being civil. Is it physically impossible?"
"No, it just takes a lot of hard work, to which many divorced couple have no desire to do for each other, not any longer"
"Yeah, I've already given her everything she wanted. But there's no sort of easy way to"
Offering a genuine smile she responded "I'm afraid not"
"Great!" Kayla smiled again she liked this guy, but she wondered what he would say if she asked,
"How do you feel about Addision I mean really feel? Not just the response you would give to a friend or your girlfriend or even to the Chief"
"I don't know, sometimes I can't stand her then other times I actually like her" he grinned "weird huh"
"I want you to say what you haven't said for a long time" Kayla looked at Derek "I want you to say it, out loud"
Derek stared at the doctor and hesitated "You want me to say it" he shifted in his seat then nodded "ok I'll say it I'm still in love with Addison!"
"How did it feel?"
He exhaled "God it felt good to say it, but also weird…. I really am over him!"
"When you said it did you feel anymore hate or anger"
"Nope, just the slight buzz of annoyance that I get when family comes over for a visit"
"I never thought I would truly be over over her, she was my first love"
"I'm glad, but what about your best friend"
Derek looked up his face drained of all humour "oh I'll never forgive him"
"Derek"
"He was my best friend, I told him everything I told him all about the problems that we were having, he said he wanted to help out. A few days later I catch him in bed with my wife, tell me how that was helping"
"I'm not saying that you two can ever go back to what you once were, but maybe he deserves a second chance just like your giving Addison"
"I can't because Addison for all her trying to act otherwise is quite naïve, she didn't set out to hurt me I know that, but him, he had got to know what he was doing"
"Derek"
"No, I'll sit here and I'll do all my hours for as long as it takes but I will not sort things out with him. He lost his chance when her slept with my wife. Now I will work with him and I'll even pretend to be civil in front of other people but I will not ever let that man back into my life again and I will never trust him again"
"It's a shame Derek that you're letting you own fear keep you from reuniting"
"Its not fear"
"Then its anger, you can get angry Derek you have the right to be"
He cut her off "oh I'm not angry at him, his not worth that"
"Derek" her tone was pleading
"So your from England" he raised a eyebrow, and Kayla knew there would be no more pushing today.
TEASER ALERT TEASER ALERT
Who's next in the hot seat?
George O'Malley and Izzie Stevens deal with death and an uncontrollable situation leaves one of them heart broken
"because I really can't afford to lose another person I love, their my best friend"
Mark Sloan and Meredith Grey deal with playing second place, and one of the duo has their eye on someone else.
PLUS what's going on in the hospital??
ANY SUGGESTIONS WELCOME!! UNTILL THEN REVIEW
