Blood.
Blood will be spilt, blood will be drunk. Blood out of them, and into me.
Lucien is dead.
I don't know what to do anymore. My brother, my brother, even if only for a short time, dead. Traitorous fiends have killed my brother and my pain over it prohibits me from even clearing his name. I am forced to go with them to meet the Night Mother who could not, did not save him. I am forced to band with those who murdered my brother. I know I should not blame them, I know I should blame only the traitor who switched my orders, who set him up for this, but what can I do? How can I control the desire for vengeance, the bloodlust so natural to a Vampire such as me? How can I control the blinding fury and blinding tears that well up within me? Death is the only solution, revenge is my only comfort...
There is a party responsible for this, and I will hunt him down and end him in the most painful way possible. Night Mother guide me, Dread Lord Sithis stand with me. I will go on, I will join my remaining Family, in order to put an end to the breath within this fool's lungs. No man can mess with the Dark Brotherhood. I do not respect his ailment as an excuse. I know Madness. I am Madness. Madness would not do this!
I can barely see my own thoughts through the red fog of anger, through the mist of his blood and my own - my pain that clouds my vision, my nostrils, my mouth and my lungs, I breathe in seething hatred and it sears my insides, but it is my only salvation from the lonely darkness that would end any light within my decrepit heart. Dementia is Mania. Mania is Dementia. Hatred is Pain.
I don't care if I knew him for a short time, a delicate business such as the one we shared creates lifetime bonds. In shadow we walked, separated from the "civlization" that isn't civilized enough to put an end to the things that plague them, yet we walked together within that silent darkness. Darkness yields to a painful red light; pain yields to Hatred again. So the cycle continues, and I am subject to it.
I will learn the traitor's name, I will learn of his kin, and I will destroy them. Any creature still living with even the slightest connection will be slain. The bloodline represented by this wretched fiend will be destroyed, the light and fire of hope for self-perpetuation extinguished. Hatred leads to Destruction. I am grateful that I am already mad, for it offers me some salvation from a worse mental fate. I can watch these cycles happen, content in my enlightened knowledge that each thing that happens is merely one, and I need not worry about becoming more than that one.
But that comfort does not mean I will not go on a savage rampage. In time, I will collect myself, and conduct myself with behavior that is more appropriate for one who walked with Lucien Lachance as his Brother in Shadows - but only when the hurricane of blood and daggers within me settles, to become a pointed arrow, coated with the poison of hatred and destructive willpower. I will end him. I will end his father, I will end any brothers or cousins he possesses or ever possessed. No one even associated with him shall be spared from my wrath, the wrath of not only a member of the Dark Brotherhood, but the wrath of a Daedric Lord who delights in the torture of others as long as it is entertaining.
And I will make it so.
So drink, shall I, drink in the wine of their blood, to feed me! I will gorge myself upon them, until I never again feel the need to feed once more! And I will walk in the burning sunlight that warms me and represents the full force of my hatred.
And I will love it. To walk in day, forsaking the shadow because my Brother cannot walk therein with me.
Love, Hatred, Mania, and Dementia, all Madness, each and every one of them, an aspect of the same, an aspect of me.
They will all die.
Any who oppose the wrath of Sithis and the Love of Lucien Lachance will die, by my own hand. I will feast on their blood, and it shall nourish me.
And it will be Good.
