Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic.
Ch 3 – The Investigation Begins
BeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeep…
The sudden noise is stopped when a hand slaps the top to the alarm clock. Roxanne peers at the blurry numbers and they read 6:03. She groans and sits up. She only went back to bed a couple hours ago. But she had a supervillain to save and a henchfish to keep from going to pieces. And she couldn't do either of those things if she had to also go to work. Time to put those acting skills to the test.
She listened intently and heard Minion walking around the kitchen. In her small apartment, that was about as far away from the bedroom as you could get. She slid the screen of her phone and found her boss's cell number.
After a few rings a groggy voice answered, "E'lo?"
"Eddie, it's Roxanne. Listen. I had a family emergency pop up last night and I have to leave right away. I'll need to use all my family leave for the year, and probably some vacation time too. I know I have lots stacked up, and…"
Her rambling was cut off by her boss, "Ahh, you can't do this to me, Roxie! I need you!"
Her voice went cold then, "Yeah, and I needed that drunk driver to not hit my sister while she was driving home last night. I also needed the doctors to not tell me she might not live out the week. Fuck you, Eddie. I'm taking my time off," she hung up without letting him reply. Times like this was when she missed the old corded phones. You could really hang up on someone back then. She glared at the phone and mentally cursed her boss. Even though it was a made-up story, he got under her skin sometimes.
She sighed to let go of anger she didn't have any reason to hold on to and stood up. As she did, she saw Minion standing in the doorway gaping at her.
He kinda shook his body in his dome then exclaimed, "Oh, Miss Ritchi! I'm so sorry! Here I am dumping all my problems on you when you have a tragedy to take of yourself. If I can do anything, anything at all, you let me know! Oh your poor sister! How are you holding up? Do you need to lie down? Should I call someone?"
This was why she didn't want him to hear that call. She placed her head in her hand and shook her head.
"Oh, now you're crying! Let it all out. It's good to grieve," he continued in that panicked way of his.
Roxanne held up one hand, hoping that he would get the message and stop talking so she could get a word in. She really didn't want to tap his tank again. He finally figured out that his babbling wasn't welcome and quieted down. She looked up at him and saw his wide, panicky eyes and couldn't help but give him a tiny smile.
"Minion, I don't have a sister," she started, but was interrupted by his gasp.
"Oh, no! You're too late? Those damn doctors! What do they know! I'm SO sorry Miss Ritchi!"
Roxanne held up a hand again, secretly amused she got the fish to curse. And here she though shrimp-bits and crab-nuggets was as profane as he got. But then she didn't expect him to admit to shaking down lots of people earlier this morning, either.
"Minion, I've never had a sister. App," she said snapping her lips closed along with her hand pantomiming a mouth shutting as she saw Minion about to go again. He was probably going to tell her not to disown family or something. He obediently closed his mouth.
"I was lying to my boss to get time off to find Megamind. Ok? We cool? No flying to pieces about my momentarily-imaginary sister?" Roxanne nodded her head to get Minion to copy it and then brought her shut-your-yap hand down.
"But why, Miss Ritchi? Won't you need that family time for your family? And it seemed like you got really angry at your boss..." Minion asked curiously.
"Well, Eddie's an ass, so I felt justified telling him off. I told him I had a family emergency and he was trying to talk me into working. And the way I see it, I do have a family emergency. I see you guys more often, and we get along better than my family does, even throwing in my snafu during the last kidnapping. Now scram, so I can change and we can see about finding your boss."
"Yes, Miss Ritchi. Ma'am," Minion said while a slow look of wonder was crossing his face. She didn't get to examine it that much before he left her bedroom.
As she was changing, she realized that Minion had added a ma'am to her name. She hoped that she didn't just screw something else up. Aliens! Geeze! Or maybe it was just these two guys? This would be the point where a decent dating history would come in handy. Maybe…
She finished changing and grabbed a huge book-bag on the way out. First stop: Evil Lair, then on to the prison.
"We're here! You didn't peek, did you, Ma'am?" Minion asked as the car was switched off.
"No, I didn't peek, Minion. And what if I had? I thought you guys were moving?"
"Wait. What? How did you know that?"
"Ah, crap. That's why I don't like having my sleep interrupted." She sighed then and confessed, "Well, I may have recovered a little sooner from the knock-out spray than I let on. Sorry. Nosy reporter and all that jazz." Instead of Minion looking disgruntled, he looked delighted.
"Oh, I knew I made the right choice in asking you to help, Ma'am! I just wish I had thought of it sooner," he started getting down again, "I just knew that he was going to find a way to contact me so I kept waiting. Then I knew that one of our underground associates would have the information I needed. I hope I didn't mess up too many of Sir's deals. Oh, I can't do anything right! I'm a terrible evil minion! From both a good and bad perspective!"
Oh dear, another Minion breakdown… When was the last time he slept? And she always thought Minion held together Megamind. Looks like there are some mutual puzzle pieces there. Not knowing what else to do, she embraced the gorilla suit as best she could and rested her head against the glass of his dome and made comforting shushing sounds.
Once he calmed down slightly she told him, "Minion, you are the best evil minion a future evil overlord could have. You've been following protocol and then tried to sniff him out yourself. You even bust some heads, am I right? And so what if a deal or two gets messed up? Megamind is a supervillain! Those punks will take whatever deal he gives them to keep from ending up as a permanent blue cube! Am I right?" Minion looked at her then slowly nodded his body. "Don't fall apart on me, ok? I need your help to find Sir. Alright?"
Minion took a shuddering breath and replied, "Yes. Yes, you're right Ma'am. Ok, this is me… pulling it together." He was quiet for a minute then continued, "Thanks, Ma'am. I think that helped. Right! So, supplies!"
She let him go, so he could gather the needed (and backup) materials. She decided to look around while Minion was busy. There were a lot of nifty things in here, not that she would ever let Megamind know that. No telling what that would do to his ego. Huh, there is a lot of stuff here for moving out… Unless… Did Minion bring her to the new lair? Well, that's unexpected. Kinda makes sense though since that's where all the important stuff would be. Looks like there is no getting out of wearing the blindfold. At least it wasn't the bag… Hmm, where is the bag? Maybe it can have a little 'accident'…
She started poking around with the sole purpose to search out and destroy that smelly-ass bag. It really shouldn't be this hard to find. Unfortunately, the smell of engine oil and exhaust overwhelmed the area and the stinky bag wasn't giving much of an odor footprint at the moment. She was only granted a few more minutes of freedom until Minion called for her.
"Ma'am, everything's ready."
"Ok, let's go talk to the warden," she replied as she headed for the invisible car. Once she was in, she put on her blindfold like a good little kidnappee.
When the car started moving, Roxanne held on to the oh-shit bar for dear life. She had learned her lesson on the trip from her apartment to the lair. Minion did not believe in speed limits. His one speed was pedal-to-the-metal. Once the drive smoothed out and she wasn't afraid of distracting Minion at a crucial moment, she started going over their plan again. With a reminder that she might lie and if she does he is not to freak out.
It wasn't too much longer before they were at the prison. Roxanne was surprised that it took anytime at all with Minion's nearly-literal lead foot. Once they were parked, Minion pulled Roxanne's bag from the backseat and handed it to her.
"Ok, Ma'am. In here you have a camera, notepad, your driver's license (they won't let you in without it), and a wallet. Go ahead and take those out, we'll put them back on top in a minute." Minion waited while she did so. "Ok, in the bottom is the de-gun, the lock-popper, a USB drive and blank VHS tapes. That's where I'll go too as soon as I transfer to my travel dome." He picked up an item and handed it to her. "Once all the contraband is in your bag, attach this device. I've already activated it. It tricks the eyes into only seeing a small portion of the bag. Just try not to act like it weighs a ton. Once the device is on, you can put all the legal stuff back on top. When the guard does a bag check, that's all he'll see. Got it, Ma'am?"
"I think so," she replied.
Minion picked up his travel dome and made the transfer from his suit to the little ball. "I'm ready, Ma'am." He gave her a little smile, "Be gentle," he teased. She smirked back and gently lifted his ball and put it into her bag.
"It's not going to be too dark in there for you, is it?" she asked as she attached the strange device he gave her.
"Oh no, Ma'am. I'm fine," came Minion's disembodied voice from her now suddenly much smaller and empty bag.
"Ok, that's weird," Roxanne commented as she put the legal items inside.
Minion chuckled slightly, "I think your weirdness sensor needs adjusting."
"You know, you just might be right, Minion," she agreed as she stepped out of the invisible car. "Let's do this thing," she declared as she headed towards the entrance.
The warden must not have had a lot of visitors lined up for today, because she was let right in. Even though she had to wear her 'purse' across her chest like a dork. She could feel the little sphere of water trying to throw her off balance. Well better a dork than a spy, right? She entered his office and shook his hand.
"Warden Marshall, nice to make your acquaintance," she started politely as she let go of his hand and sat down. She placed her heavy bag behind her so he wouldn't notice it 'floating' in midair slightly.
"Same here, Miss Ritchi. What can I do for you?"
"Well, Warden. I'm actually researching a story that could be beneficial to this institution."
He gave her a suspicious look and asked, "How so?"
"If I can prove to the right people that you have gaps in your security, they would be in the position to increase your funding. Especially since you routinely house Megamind here," she started brightly.
To her utter surprise, his face shut down at the mention of Megamind. It was like watching a door slam shut. Looks like she chose the wrong tactic. Again…
"Miss Ritchi," the Warden started crisply, "We have no issues with our security system and have the highest security rating of any prison in the state of Michigan." Roxanne heard a snort from her bag, and it took all her willpower not to elbow it.
"Warden, didn't Megamind escape yet again a few weeks ago? Why do you think your security doesn't need upgrading?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Ritchi, this interview is over. And I will tell you the same thing I have told every other reporter, lab-rat, and curiosity seeker that has come sniffing around over the years. I'm not your way to Megamind. You will get no information from me, the guards OR the inmates. I think you had better go," the warden continued in a hard tone.
"Really? Huh… Try telling him," she heard Minion whisper behind her. She involuntarily looked back at the bag, then looked back to the warden.
"Ok, look, Warden Marshal. The real reason I'm here is that Megamind went missing immediately after he broke out. We think there might be something on your security footage. Can I take a look?" Roxanne asked.
One of the warden's eyebrows rose, and he glanced behind her, "We?" His face seemed to soften somewhat.
Roxanne felt her eyes widen slightly and tried to cover herself, "Yes, we. My… my intern! And I. We…" Before she could get any further with her impressive stuttering skills, the warden interrupted her and talked to the bag.
"Hey, Minion. You couldn't keep Ol' Blue out of trouble this time, huh?"
Minion gave a nervous chuckle then replied, "Hi Warden. Yeah, he jumped the gun on the escape plan and I wasn't there for him. Sounds like someone grabbed him before he could contact me. Looks like the jig is up, Ma'am. You can take me out."
Roxanne disconnected the device that hid the bag's true size, then carefully lifted Minion out and held his sphere on her lap.
The warden nodded and said, "Yes, this makes more sense than that security story you were going after."
Minion broke in then, "So can we see the security footage? I'm afraid I can't take 'no' for an answer. You understand, right Warden? And just for reference, this is 'the easy way.'"
"You know how I feel about threats, Minion," the Warden replied in a gruff tone. Then he sighed, "But I do understand the two of you. Come on." The warden got up and started walking out the door. Roxanne grabbed Minion and followed him to the security center. "He's been missing since he broke out of here? That was almost a month ago, Minion. Why didn't you call sooner?"
"I…I didn't really think you'd help us, Warden. There's a lot of bad blood here since Sir established himself as a supervilllain," Minion replied.
"That doesn't mean I wouldn't help. For Pete's sake, call me next time," he grumbled as he opened the door to their destination. Inside was a wall of screens and thousands of VHS cases and a guy sitting in a chair watching the monitors with a bored expression. The warden walked past him without a word and came to a section that looked like all the rest and pulled about seven tapes. "These are the ones showing the perimeter around the time he escaped. You can review them in that room." He pointed to another doorway in the back. Then he turned to the guy in the chair, held a quiet conversation, then left.
It took minute, but Roxanne had finally juggled both Minion and the video tapes into the featureless back room and out of the watcher's questioning stare. There were a couple old TVs and each hooked up to an even older VCR. She closed the door so they could have some privacy.
Minion looked around and shook himself. "I just never know about the warden. He is so hard to read," he complained. "Some days, it seems like he'd just about spit if you even mention Sir around him. Then other times it's like today."
"It kinda sounds like he cares, Minion. Maybe you should talk to him one day," Roxanne shrugged. "Well, let's get to watching. You take that screen and I'll watch this one. Might as well settle in, this could be a long one…"
Three hours, and several lame games of eye-spy later, and they finally caught movement on Roxanne's screen. She got Minion's attention and they watched the silent black and white footage of Megamind escaping from the prison. She wrote down the time-stamp so she could check the other videos for activity at around the same time. As they watched, they saw Megamind start to bend down while running. Before he could pick up what he was aiming for, he suddenly stood up very straight and stopped running. Megamind lifted a hand and seemed to pull on something on the side of his head. He brought the arm back down and opened his fist palm up in front of him as he looked at something. Then he dropped to his knees and proceeded to pitch forward face-first onto the ground.
Roxanne and Minion looked on with open-mouthed shock. Minion was shaking just a bit and whispering, "No," over and over again. Roxanne placed a hand on top of his sphere. She wished she could give him a hug, but this was the best she could do. They still had a video to watch, after all.
After several agonizing minutes of stillness, they saw the flash of headlights coming into the same frame as Megamind. An SUV pulled up next to Megamind's still form and stopped. Roxanne tried to get the license plate number, but the video quality wasn't good enough for her to make it out. Four figures stepped out of the SUV and surrounded the prone form on the ground. Three were wearing black and was carrying a thuggish vibe. The last one was wearing a lab coat and that made Minion even more distraught.
What really surprised Roxanne was that instead of Minion breaking down further, he straightened up and began commanding, "Ma'am, take that video and shove it in your purse. Grab the others too. I can enhance the image at Evil Lair and then, to borrow one of Sir's lines: They will rue the day. First though, let's get my body. I need to see the area where they grabbed Sir."
"Ok, Minion," she agreed and followed his lead.
Fifteen minutes later and they were outside the prison near the spot where Megamind fell. Minion was on his mechanical hands and knees scouring the ground. Roxanne felt pretty useless as she was told to "Stay back," and "Hold this." 'This' being ziplock baggies. Well they all had their own strengths… Right?
"Ma'am? Bag please," Minion requested. She carefully approached, making sure she only stepped in areas he had already searched and handed him a bag. He placed something in the bag then sealed it up. After that, he stood up and showed her what he found. She studied it intently.
"A tranquilizer dart? That means he's ok, right?"
"Well, not necessarily. That means he was possibly ok back when he was abducted. Assuming whatever they used doesn't react badly to Sir's physiology. The oddest things can trigger a reaction," Minion trailed off sadly. "And we have no idea of his current condition. The fact that I haven't received any kind of communication is disheartening at the very least."
"Let's go, Minion," Roxanne suggested softly, "We need to grab lunch, then head back to Evil Lair to analyze that dart and enhance the videos. Megamind wouldn't give up on you, so let's not give up on him either, ok?"
"Yes, Ma'am," he responded quietly and turned to head for the invisible car. She sighed and followed him. She sincerely hoped that they would be able to get some information now that they had some leads. She didn't know if she could handle too much more of Depressed Minion. If he kept it up, they would both end up as a puddle of tears on the floor and that would be just that much longer that Megamind was in someone else's hands. She put on a brave face and followed him to the car.
