It's night. Christmas is in four hours. I really wish I was at home, eating Mom's Pecha Berry pie, better yet, I wish I was with him, but I'm not that naive - there must have been a reason he left, and I know I was a part of it. The thought makes me sad, but I continue my trek, with Braviary sitting on my shoulder, and my Zorua in my arms. They probably want to be home, too. But White is right; I have to do this.

Ever since my truly legendary battle with N at the castle, the castle had gone into a state of disrepair. Really, I should have expected just as much, as the Seven Sages went there own ways, as well as most members of Team Plasma, but I expected Ghetsis at least to tend to the once beautiful place. I was wrong; it seemed as if no one cared to stay at all. The waterfalls that once shimmered with beauty were dry, and the structures had fallen. Holes littered all of the floors; hell, even the floor above me seemed to be terribly precarious. N's sisters' room - whose names I forget - were stripped of their beauty, and wild Pokémon had found residency in the place that N grew up.

I'm sure N would have liked that.

There's one room I haven't spoken about, and for good reason. I can't muster enough confidence to go in his room, even if he's not in there. I remember the first time I saw it, and I had N by my side. I had been too angry with him at the time for his reckless ideals about liberating Pokémon, but he'd offered to play darts. And while we didn't play darts, when we came back a second time, he recovered a journal of his and we laid on his skating ramp while he showed me formulas he'd made for various things. We ate rare candies and he spoke to my Pokémon. It's one of my fondest memories I have with him, because I can only remember how excited he got when talking about what he liked, he talked faster, and his eyes became brighter than the sun itself.

Nonetheless, I stand outside of his room, hand on the rusty golden doorknob. Part of me wants to believe he's inside, but I know better. Anxiety makes me tremble so much that I have to put Zorua down. Braviary gives me a gentle yet reaffirming push, but I'm paralyzed. Frozen in place. It takes Zorua's loud yipping to make me finally twist the knob and go inside. Immediately, I want to cry again.

I should have known, it wouldn't be the same place it was a year ago. What, would everywhere in the castle be in ruin but here? It was not an exception, and while it was reasonable, it didn't make me any less sad. Seeing a piece of N go to waste depressed me. I couldn't do anything to save the toy train that had already drained of battery life. I couldn't fix the basketball hoop that had fallen on its side, snapped. I couldn't collect all of the darts or locate the board. Everything was just ruined, and I feel tears streaming down my eyes as I make my way through his bedroom. I don't bawl like before. I keep my cries silent, because I didn't want to disturb the wild Pokémon, much less my own.

It feels like a dream being here, and I have to sit down. telling myself that maybe it is. Maybe this is a nightmare. But N would have woke me up by now, because I'd probably be screaming. I pull my knees close to my chest, crying into my pants, and I do this for a solid minute until Braviary flies off, snagging something off of the basketball hoop. When I look up, Braviary is holding N's necklace. I reach in and take it quickly, holding it close to my chest, and more tears spring out of my eyes. I start talking to the puzzle, as if it's actually N when I know it's not.

"You used to tell me a lot of things, N." I tell the puzzle, choking on my tears. "And you told me that you loved me. That you'd never leave. I believed you and I still do. Even though you're not here. Please, please come back, N. You know the incompleteness theorem? Well, I can say a lot of things, but they can't be proved by numbers, like the incompleteness theorem suggests. But believe me when I say that I love you, and I miss you."

I stare at the puzzle. Nothing happens. For a moment, I just sit and cry, cradling it to my chest, but eventually, I know I have to get up, and so I do. I put his necklace on, and I leave his room - Zorua and Braviary behind me. Zorua barks at me in concern several times, but I pet him, trying to reassure him that I'll be okay, and he hushes. I pick him up again and I head into the room where a year ago, everything happened - the throne room.

Much like a year ago, the pillars had still collapsed, and the room, was, well, a mess. I can't say much had changed, besides the water being drained like everywhere else. Otherwise, the room was consistent with my memory. This time, though, I don't stop to take anything in. I walk straight to N's former throne, and I look around. I was still telling myself he wasn't here, because out of everywhere I had checked, this seemed like a likely place.

He wasn't around, as expected. So, from my backpack, I pull out a gift. It was wrapped perfectly, or at least, as perfect as I could possibly get, and it was red and green. N's favorite shade of green, at least. He'll know what it is, and if he doesn't, then I find myself hoping he'll love the surprise. I close my eyes, and for the first time after N left, I smile. It's not forced. It's not hurt. It's genuine. I place the gift on his throne, and I whisper:

"Merry Christmas, N."


When I make it to my mother's house, she's waiting outside, her arms crossed, lip jutted out in angry fashion. I can't help but be alarmed, because I'm either in trouble, or something happened. It's funny, considering the fact she didn't know where I was going, or if I was arriving that night, but either way, she looks disapproving. When I make it to the front porch steps, I hear the dreaded words: "What took you so long?"

"Um…" I search my brain for a convenient lie, but find none. This is also funny, because there's a multitude of things I could have "been doing." I'm Unova's Champion but I don't even mention that. Instead, I just decide to tell the truth. "I was just… Busy."

"Busy!" She scoffs, and I brace myself for a scolding, but instead, she grins. "Well, come inside, Black. It's very cold out there." She says. I step inside, and she closes the door behind me. I smile a little myself; it's nice to be home with my mother, since I never saw her too often with N. I have a feeling she'd disapprove of me dating a man who tried to liberate Pokémon from their trainers. "Oh yeah. You have something on your bed."

I had been stripping of my jacket, so I couldn't help but double take when she said what she did. "What?" I inquire. I hadn't been home in almost a year, so of course, it was strange to hear that I had something.

"You heard me!" Mom teased, heading to the kitchen table. So, I start my way up the stairs. As I go, she yells, "Hurry. I want you to try my Sitrus Berry cookies."

I sort of ignore the last part, and I go to my bedroom. She hadn't been lying. On my bed was an envelope, which intrigued me. It gave no hints as to where it came from, and it was blank - I picked it up, ripping the top off gently, before pulling out a card. My heart nearly stopped beating when I found what was inside.

Inside of the card, a picture. No. I leaf through it and find several pictures, all of N and I. They're some of my most favorite memories; the Ferris Wheel, his castle, last year. All placed in one card. But what was at the end truly warmed me, and it gave me hope. I press the last gift to my body, never wanting to let it go. It read, in simple yet neat handwriting:

"Merry Christmas, Black." And then, on the back: "See you soon."