Chapter Three

The days, weeks, and soon months passed, and Nate was still in love with the one and only Chuck Bass. Their relationship, they thought, was hidden from everyone, even the infamous Gossip Girl. But some noticed that in public they were always too close to each other. Some noticed the brush of hands and the wanting glances the two boys shared with each other. But nobody said anything. No one wanted to believe that these two boys might share something that could even be construed as love. They are just good friends, they thought, like brothers. They are nothing more than that. They just couldn't believe that the infamous Nathaniel Archibald could even be in a relationship with the even more infamous Chuck Bass.

But they were wrong.

Nate would always try to corner Chuck, to kiss the pale boy, to be with him. Nate craved Chuck. Whenever they were behind closed doors, Chuck was held tightly to the tanned boy. He loved Chuck and Chuck loved him. He wanted Chuck and only Chuck.

But Chuck was too enraptured with the persona he had created. He still picked up girls. He still brought them to his suite. He still had sex with them. And Nate was not happy with this, but he never said a thing. He didn't want to lose Chuck, so he willingly let these trysts continue. It was killing Nate.

One night, Nate had enough. While Chuck was sharing drinks with some nameless blonde, Nate sat stirring in his anger and jealousy. He belongs to me, Nate thought. He loves me. So he decided to do something about it. He made his way to Chuck, and deliberately grabbed his lover.

"We have to go."

"But Nathaniel, can't you seem I'm busy,"Chuck drawled in his silky voice.

The blonde just giggled.

"I can see that, but we have something more important to do right now."

Nate softly laid his hand on Chuck's, urging with his eyes that they needed to go right now. I need you, his eyes said. Chuck's eyes changed ever so slightly, as if he understood what Nate needed. His eyes returned the longing.

"I have to go."

With that, the blonde frowned, but immediately set her eyes on some other rich, Upper East Side elitist, and fluttered away, not the least bit deterred that her plans were foiled.

The two boys quickly left the club, and jumped into Chuck's limo. As soon as the car moved, Nate grasped his lover's face and began to kiss him. He kissed him angrily, but full of want. This kiss was needy. Nate needed Chuck to reaffirm their love for each other. Chuck gently pushed him away, his eyes betraying his actions.

"What was that for?" Nate didn't understand the abrupt end to his ministrations.

"I can't do this."

"What? You can't do this? You can't be with me and only me?" Nate could feel anger rising up his spine.

"I can't be with you the way you want me to. I know why you pulled me away from that girl. You're jealous. And I can't bare to make you feel that way."

"Then change."

"I... I don't know if I can."

"Try, Chuck. I need you to try. I can't just stop loving you Chuck. I can't just turn off my feelings for you. Like I've said, hundreds of times, I love you Chuck Bass. And nothing can get in the way of that."

"I knew you wouldn't understand..."

"Understand what, Chuck? That you have a reputation to uphold. That the great Chuck Bass has to fuck anything that moves because he's The Chuck Bass. That's bullshit and you kno-"

"I'm broken." Chuck burst with a sadness that Nate had never seen before.

"What do you-"

"I can't do this. I don't fall in love, Nathaniel. I don't love. And I can't be what you want me to be. What you think I am."

"Don't do this Chuck. Doesn't any of the time we've spent with one another mean anything. I know it does. Don't pull away from me Chuck."

"I have to Nate. I just can't be with you. I don't think I can be with anyone."

"Then what do you think we've been doing with each other? We've been together. You've been with me. You may be broken, but I'm broken with you. Our pieces have intermingled and you can never, ever get rid of me."

"You're making this harder than it needs to be."

Nate could not believe this was happening. The one thing that Nate felt he had control of, was slipping through his fingers. The one thing that he chose to do himself, to pursue his love, was being taken away from him. All his life, decisions were always made for Nate; he never had a say in anything. And the one time he felt he did have a say, was quickly being crushed.

"Chuck, tell me you love me. Tell me. I know you can. Just please say it."

"I can't. Not anymore."

"Please, I need you to say it."

Tears began to fall from Nate's blue eyes. The car rolled up to Chuck's building. He moved to get out of the limo, when Nate reached up.

"Don't go. If you leave now, I will never be happy again. Please just stay."

"You know I can't do that Nathaniel." And with that, Chuck pulled his arm away from Nate, and disappeared into the building, leaving Nate utterly and entirely crushed.