On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two turtle doves.
Off they skipped, merrily debating squash marriage laws. They were headed to the Field of Happiness, where they hoped to find two turtle doves.
"Omigosh we're here!" exclaimed Drake.
They gazed into the wonder of the ugly happiness. Dekka was standing in the field, along with Brianna and a random puppy with Spandex. Dekka looked over at them.
"Hi Drake!"
"Hey there, Dekka!"
"Who's this?"
"No! Don't ask who he is!"
But it was too late. Marcellus had already whipped out his Shutter Shades and a boom box was floating in the air. He began to rap.
"YO! THE NAME'S MARCELLUS OVER 5 FEET TALL!
I'M STRAIGHT UP VICTORIAN BUT I AINT STRAIGHT AT ALL!
I BUILT A TIME MACHINE ALMOST LIKE THE TARDIS!
I HAD TO GET AWAY BECAUSE MY LIFEE WAS THE HARDEST!
STEPPED IN THE MACHINE, THE LIGHT TURNED GREEN!
I STEP OUT AND THE FIRST THING I SEE IS CHARLIE SHEEN!
GAVE HIM SOME COCAINE, HE GAVE ME SOME DIRECTIONS!
I SLIPPED INTO CALI WITHOUT THE SLIGHTEST DETECTION!
THEN I MET DRAKE AND WE STARTED DATING!
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE NOBODY WAS A HATING!
SO HERE IMMA STAY AND RAP MY STORY!
AND CHILL OUT WITH THE DRAKE, TRY TO MAKE HIM LESS GORY!
REPRESENT!"
They stood there as Marcellus collapsed from excessive swag.
"So can we have two turtle doves?" Said Drake.
The Breeze zipped away and returned immediately with two turtle doves in a cage made of Tums.
"Holy crap! Turtle doves are brown?"
"Uh, yeah." Said Brianna. "Aren't you an Arandanaut?"
"No."
"Oh. Mah bad."
Drake picked up Marcellus, still suffering from too much swag, and walked off into the sunset, with sad cowboy music playing from the floating boom box which followed them eerily.
In the next episode of Christmas Evil, the oddball same-sex couple search for 3 French Hens. But you know how the French are. Will they succeed? Dun dun duuuuuun!
