Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts! So...I originally said this was going to be three parts, but I've turned it into four! Sigh. I always do this. :) Please continue to read and review – and remember, shoot me your ideas! I currently have a naughty one-shot Damon/Elena/Katherine threesome forming in my mind...but we'll see. What would you guys like to see?
Happy reading!
What We've Lost
Part III: Passion
I just want to be not what I am today
I just want to be better than my friends might say
I just want a small part in your passion play
-William Fitzsimmons, "Passion Play"
"You want to hurt me," Damon retaliated, though his eyes were rolling into the back of his head at her gentle ministrations.
"No," she murmured, finally ghosting her lips over his. "I'm through with hurting you." She let go of him and stood at arm's length. "You can walk away or you can let me love you. It's your decision. It has always been your decision, Damon."
Damon licked his lips, locking gazes with her. "One hundred and forty-five years is how long I spent yearning for you, feeling guilty over what had happened in 1864. I died for you, Katherine, and all that got me was an eternity of misery and endless unanswered questions. When I finally found a way to get you back, I was elated – but then I discovered that was a lie, too. Even when you returned, I was willing to forgive you, willing to start anew. But that wasn't good enough for you, either."
"I'm so sorry, Damon," Katherine said quietly. "I didn't want it to be this way. But I've had to protect myself. You don't know what it's like to spend your entire existence fleeing. I was selfish and I was wrong – especially because I loved you so much – but I had to put myself first. I wasn't going to let all of my running go to waste."
He stared at her for a long moment as her words sunk in, and before he could stop himself, he blurted out, "I'm in love with Elena."
Katherine simply let her mouth turn up in a half smile. "Believe me, Damon; I know it's not impossible to love two people at the same time. If you're saying you have absolutely no feelings left for me, then fine. But don't dwell on what could have been." She inched closer to him again, leaving very little space between their bodies. "Say you don't love me."
"I..." Damon's voice caught in his throat. He cast his eyes downward, as several real human emotions began to overwhelm him. He clenched his fists tightly at his sides and whispered, "I don't know." His façade was fading quickly – he was unable to avoid his feelings of betrayal and hurt. He had tried to play it off as indifference but had failed miserably.
"Let me love you, Damon - even if it's only for tonight." She brought her hand up to his cheek and trailed it down his chest. "Let me prove it." She looked up into his eyes and then leaned in to kiss him again, fisting her hand in the fabric of his shirt. When he didn't protest and began to hesitantly return her kiss, she slid one of her hands up his black sweater, letting her fingertips glide over the smooth muscle hidden beneath.
Damon grabbed her wrist. "Please don't make me regret this," he said softly before leaning in to kiss her, bringing both his hands up to cup her face. He moved his lips over hers gently, yet fiercely, trying to push into the kiss everything that he had been feeling for the past one hundred and forty-five years. He made a low noise in the back of his throat when she raked her finger nails down his chest to his stomach.
Katherine moved her mouth away from his and began to kiss him anywhere his skin was bared, feather-light and gentle. When he tried to move to grab the sash of her robe, she pinned his hands at his sides. "Slow," she whispered into his ear, feeling him shudder. She let her hands drop to the hem of his sweater; he lifted his arms and she pulled it off of him, letting the clothing drop to the floor. She smoothed back a few strands of his hair that had stood up from the static of the sweater coming off of his body.
Damon buried his hands in her hair as she lowered her mouth to his neck, kissing him lightly, before suddenly running her tongue up its expanse, all the way to his mouth. He sighed softly and opened up for her and their tongues met in a slow, erotic dance. He reached for her and pulled her closer to him, letting his hands slide up and down over her sides, before settling on her breasts. He squeezed gently and smirked when she moaned a little.
"Stop," she said, grasping his wrists, stilling his movements. "I'm trying to prove a point to you." She felt him stiffen and she shook her head. "Relax, Damon," she soothed, "I just want you to relax..." She put her hands on his hips and leaned forward, pressing her lips to the hollow of his throat.
Damon's eyes fell closed; he knew very well that he was surrendering himself to her, but the way he saw it, he couldn't possibly feel any more hurt than he already had – so he was willing to take the risk.
He was sleeping in her arms, his bare flesh warm and solid against hers. She was holding him close, their arms wrapped around each other. His face was pillowed against her breast, mouth slightly parted. Once in a while, an incoherent sound would escape his lips and it made her smile. Usually she left soon after they were intimate, but she had wanted to stay this time.
"You're beautiful," she murmured into his ear, bringing one of her hands up to stroke his dark hair. "No one tells you that often enough." She wished that she had thoroughly considered the repercussions of her choice to pursue both Salvatore brothers because, she realized, she had fallen hard for both of them. Even though she planned on turning them both, she knew she was going to have to break someone's heart eventually – and even as she held him tighter, she knew who that person would be. She also knew that Damon was strong and could take it; Stefan, on the other hand – he was still young and would probably be completely devastated.
So for now, she held him close, memorizing every detail of him, from his dark brows, to his full red lips. "I love you, Damon," Katherine whispered, her lips now pressed against his temple. "Please don't ever forget that."
