"I love that man. I just can't tell him that his whole life was built on a lie." Patrick Keating's wife said in anguish.
"You have a good life with a man who makes you happy and no one lie can negate all that but you have to tell him," Liv paused as she caught Fitz staring at them through the window,
"Because it he finds out from someone who isn't you. It's going to break his heart." She continued as she held his gaze her eyes briefly depicting the hurt she felt inside till she shook it off and looked back at Mrs Keating. It made her mad that when she looked him he was the one that looked tortured and wrongly done by when he was the one who shattered the illusion, who diminished the magic of what they shared against all it's odds. He cheapened them. He once accused her of belittling them, but one act of weakness only confirmed her worst fears. She may not completely believe it, but it evoked enough doubt to make it irreparable.
After her meeting with Mrs Keating Olivia slipped out of the White House before being summoned into the Oval Office. She headed back to her office in search of a way to not have Patrick Keating's whole career be thrown out the window.
Stephen followed her into her office as she walked in and sat on the chair in front if her not saying a word as though waiting for her to talk when she was ready. She looked at the door he pointedly closed behind him and then back at him as he flicked through the file in his hand casually.
"You know what drives me nuts?" She began. Stephen took that as cue to put his prop down and turn his undivided attention towards his angst filled best friend.
"He keeps looking at me with these wounded eyes as though I'm the one that killed his puppy. Like I'm punishing him. Like he's in so much pain being deprived of my presence. Eighteen months Stephen. Eighteen months and not a peep from him and now all of a sudden he's in my face. Begging for pardon and understanding. He slept with someone else. It was hard enough to imagine him with his wife and I knew back then that he had long since stopped sleeping with Mellie and then he sleeps with an aide. I could almost forgive him if he fell in love with someone else but not this. I put so much weight in the fact that we were soul mates, that we were in love. It negated the wrongness, this just makes me feel dirty." She confessed.
Olivia Pope rarely unraveled and she chose to whom she unraveled to. Stephen was one of a very short list. What pained her even more is that the remaining two on that list was caught in the sex scandal that broke her heart. Being Fitz's Chief of Staff cancelled Cyrus as a confidant knowing he was Fitz's. Though she never questioned his loyalty she knew that Fitz needed him more.
"The thing that's sad is as much as he killed us. I still believe in him. I still believe he is meant to do great things and if I could protect him from not losing that. I still would. I may no longer believe in us, what we had and whatever destiny I fooled myself into thinking we had but I still believe in him. I still believe he is a great man who's supposed to do great things, and that's the part that kills me."
"Amanda called, she wants a sit down with him." Olivia nodded. She expected as much. She knew that all Amanda truly wanted was the acknowledgement that they happened. That she didn't imagine it nor concoct it. That Olivia understood better than anyone. For someone who was staying away from the White House she was once again making a call to the chief of staff.
"Liv," Cyrus answered.
"Hey Cy," she said exhaustedly.
"Kid, you need some down time." He said knowingly.
"Between that list, keeping the Madam from prison, trying pacify an aide who had an affair with the President, oh yeah and the President...I don't think that's happening any time in the future."
"Amanda's contacting you?"
"I told her to Cy. If its not me, it'll be someone else. At least this way it's in the circle, and really how much more damage can she possibly make to me. If she goes through me I know what she has and helping her, allows me to live with myself.."
"Ever the fixer,"
"If only I can fix myself Cy." She said with a defeated sigh.
"I called for a reason before I forget. Amanda Tanner wants a sit down."
"Liv..." He said hesitantly.
"I think she's for real Cy. I wouldn't ask otherwise."
"Okay, set it up. You'll be there?"
"If I could get away with not I would so not be. Unfortunately I have no choice. It's you, me, the president and whatever Amanda Tanner is to him."
"A mistake." Cyrus answered.
"That's not necessarily her fault Cy. Now me on the other hand..."
"Liv. You have never been his mistake."
"I'm finding it difficult not to refer to him as mine." She replied honestly.
"Anyway, let me talk to Amanda and I'll confirm time."
"Sure. Hey Kid,"
"Yeah Cy?"
"Take a few minutes for yourself. You need to breathe."
"Cy, if I stop. If I give myself a moment, I'll start to think and right now I can't afford to think about anything else but the multiple fires I am trying to put out."
"I know Kid, but you can't keep running yourself to the ground in the name of self preservation. I know you. I know how you work."
"I know you do Uncle Cy. Duly noted. Lets get through this, one train wreck at the time." Cyrus smiled, she rarely called him Uncle Cy. After they started working so close together it seemed inappropriate to refer to him as Uncle Cy as she had been since she could babble.
"If you hit enough you call me."
"I promise."
Olivia had set up the meeting with the four of them for that evening in Cyrus' office. Olivia needed a neutral and a safe space and Cyrus' office was as close as it was going to get. Fitz was already with Cyrus when Olivia and Amanda arrived. Fitz tried to catch Olivia's gaze but she refused to meet his. They sat around Cy's round table. The amount of times that she and Cyrus had spent pouring over strategies on that table and sharing meal. It gave her a false sense of comfort as she readied herself for what was ahead. Amanda didn't disclose what she wanted to say and Olivia didn't want to pry in case it scared her off. Olivia gave Cyrus a look that asked him to be gentle with Amanda, that this moment was not a moment for Cyrus the pitbull.
"Amanda, I want to say sorry for that night." Fitz began. He looked at Amanda and then longingly at Liv needing her to hear his blanketed apology.
"I was in a bad place, and I should have known better. I should have said no. So I am sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you." His voice broke with emotion and Liv couldn't help but feel herself crumble a little knowing that he was apologizing to her too. Amanda dropped her gaze to her hands on the desk,
"I'm pregnant." She said softly. Olivia's heart felt like it was ripped out of her chest as she gasped in surprise. Fitz looked to Olivia immediately as did Cyrus who knew that up until that point she didn't know. Amanda shot to her feet.
"I can't do this." She stammered and ran out of Cyrus's office leaving the rest of them stunned.
"Oh my God!" Olivia said unable to breathe, she looked at Cyrus and before she could say anything she felt absolutely sick. Cyrus recognized the look and reached for his waste bin and Olivia took it gratefully knowing she wasn't going to reach Cyrus's private bathroom. Fitz was at her side in moments. He watched as she threw up in Cyrus'. When he tried to comfort her she jumped a mile.
"Don't touch me." Cyrus rubbed her back soothingly. Afterwards she apologized to Cyrus and went to clean up in his bathroom. When she emerged he saw that Fitz was gone. She thanked Cyrus knowing that it was his doing.
"Liv, we have a problem."
"Because this has been a fun ride?" She said sarcastically flopping down on his couch.
"Someone has sent over a sex tape. It's audio, it's clearly Fitz and who I assume is Amanda Tanner."
"Oh for crying out loud it just keeps getting better and better." She cried out in utter frustration.
"What do you say Cy, lets blow this joint, grab James and the three of us move to Hawaii?" Cyrus smirked, glad there was a glimmer or humour left in her.
"Ahhh one could dream. You and I both know we'd be bored in a matter of hours."
"One could dream indeed. So do we know who sent it? I doubt it's from Amanda, she's too skittish."
"I think someone's pulling her strings."
"Me too. Leave it with me. I'll get my guys on to it. Can you walk me out? I don't want to be intercepted."
"Sure kid, you ready to go?"
"I was ready to go the moment I walked in." Cyrus laughed and draped an arm over her shoulder and kissed the side of her head.
"Once you've sorted out the madam lets get drunk."
"You're on. I think I found a way for Keating to remain your nominee. Will send you details when I get back to the office."
"Have I told you how much I love and adore you recently?" Olivia laughed,
"So you should. We'll talk later. I'm fine Uncle Cy." She said trying to reassure him.
"Liar, but you can convince me over a few bottles of red wine."
"Each?"
"Whatever it takes. Bye kid" Olivia kissed his cheek once they reached the gate and gave him a wave goodbye.
