Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the lyrics used in this story.
A/N: The underline this isn't working so the lyrics are in bold and the lyrics that have been changed are in bold and italic.
Thanks for the reviews!
Also if you know any good songs that might be good for Bella, please tell me! I want this story to be long and I cannot find any songs!!!!
Also, in case you wonder, Bella and Gemma are going to sound a bit like the Veronicas. They are a cool band that you should look up, to get a feel of this band.
The song is "Girl in my mirror" by Britney Spears. I am not really a Britney fan; I'm more into Fall Out Boy and Panic at the disco. However, I like the lyrics and I think they fit how Bella was feeling in New Moon, Britney has some good songs. So, I hope you'll look up the song!!
I know this might be a little boring with the all the lyrics right now, but I promise the story will be good; I just need to get it rolling.
Gemma came over after school as promised and we headed up to my room, sitting down on my bed again to work on the songs.
"You write something new?"
"Yeah," I grabbed my notebook and pulled out the song. I still was comfortable singing in front of anyone, but it was worth it, because I needed to distract myself.
"What's that?" I asked when I looked up.
"It's a video camera. Forks is lamer than I thought if you don't know that."
"I know what it is, I meant what's it for?"
"I'm going to record you singing."
"No!" I half-yelled. It was the most expressive thing I had done in months.
"Yes, you need to see how good you are."
I grumbled but let her turn it on anyway.
"Okay, Bells so me what you've got!"
I took a deep breath not knowing if I could handle this. Would other people see the tape?
"C'mon!"
I swallowed again and picked up the song I had written.
"It's unedited." I muttered.
"That's okay, its Bella Swan unplugged." She teased.
There's a girl in the mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did
I'd written this song after looking in the mirror and realizing I didn't even know who I was anymore. How could I be that broken?
There's a story in her eyes
Lullabies and goodbyes
When she's looking back at me
I can tell her heart is broken easily 'Cause the girl in my mirror
Is crying tonight
And there's nothing I can tell her
To make her feel alright
Oh the girl in my mirror
Is crying 'cause of you
And I wish there was something
Some thing I could do
He was gone…
If I could I would tell her
Not to be afraid
The pain that she's feeling
The sense of loneliness will fade
So dry your tears and rest assured
Love will find you like before
When she's looking back at me
I know nothing really works that easily
I would never fall in love again; I had realized that a long time ago.
'Cause the girl in my mirror Is crying out tonight
And there's nothing I can tell her
To make her feel alright
Oh the girl in my mirror Is crying 'cause of you
And I wish there was something I wish there was something
Oh I wish there was something I could do
My voice caught a bit on the last word and I tried to collect myself to finish the song.
I can't believe it's what I see
That the girl in the mirror
The girl in the mirror
Is me
I can't believe what I see
No....The girl in my mirror
The girl in my mirror is me
Ohh...is me
A sob escaped my lips, and I realized that I had started crying while singing.
"I'm so sorry!" I said and wiped the tears from my eyes, blushing.
I heard the click of the camera turning off and felt arms wrap around me.
"It's okay," Gemma whispered. "It's okay to be weak sometimes, Bella."
I cried harder, because I was this weak all the time, ever since he left.
I cried because he was gone, because he'd taken away my dreams with him, my future. How could he just leave me like that?
Everything I'd believed seemed to have been blown up in my face and I couldn't take it, so instead I cried in the arms of a girl I hardly knew.
"I'm sorry," I muttered a while later, pulling away to give us both space.
"No problem. When did he break-up with you?"
"W-what?"
"Oh, come on, someone broke up with you, I wanna know."
"Umm…A couple of months ago."
"A couple?"
"Okay, a lot."
"And do I get to know his name?"
I shook my head quickly, I could not think his name, let alone explain anything about him to Gemma.
"Okay, whatever," she turned and faced the other way.
We sat for a while like that for a while before she suddenly turned to me and said, "You need to sing with me."
"What?" I turned
"Look, you can sing and I can sing, I want a big break, okay? So, will you sing with me or not?"
I was scared of the idea of standing up in front of people in class, let alone singing in front of people.
However, when I sang with Gemma I felt like a different person, a person that did not feel pain in the same way and I wanted to be that person all the time. So, why not? I could be a different person, a person who did not feel this constant ache. I could forget what it was like to feel this way…I could do it. I could never forget the Cullen's though, as much as it hurt to even think their name, I needed to cling to something, so that I knew I was not crazy. I could already feel the old me slipping away as I stared at my friend sitting there, staring at me not quite hopefully, but with something in her eyes that made me realize how much it meant to her.
"I'll do it." I whispered.
"Yeah?" She tossed her head back a bit.
"Yeah."
She grinned at me. "Okay, well I love your songs! So, keep writing and I'll come by tomorrow and we can work on the music."
I nodded.
"Great," She grinned and headed home with a copy of my lyrics so that she could work on the music.
