The Joker was released from solitary confinement at last, his mood much improved. The time alone had given him a chance to think, and to form a little plan of his own for getting revenge on Ivy. He strolled into the Rec Room with his usual, cheerful smile on his face, and Harley shrieked in delight, throwing herself into his arms.

"Puddin'! Thank goodness you're free! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, pooh bear," he said, kissing her forehead. "In fact, I missed the whole lot of you!" he said, beaming at the room at large. "My adoring audience and beloved public! The Clown Prince of Crime is back!"

He bowed and Harley applauded enthusiastically, then clutched him tightly, burying her face in his chest. "Now, who's up for a game of tiddly winks?" he asked. "Or crazy eights? I've got the cards right here. Crane, you wanna play?"

"As intellectually challenging as it sounds, no," snapped Jonathan Crane, not looking up from his book.

"Tetch, how about you?" he asked, turning to the Mad Hatter, who was sipping tea in a corner.

"'I have answered three questions, and that is enough, don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? - Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'" muttered Tetch.

"I'll take that as a no," said Joker, shrugging. "Anybody? Ah, Karlo, you'll be a pal, won't you, old buddy?" he asked Basil Karlo, aka Clayface, who was watching an old horror rerun on TV with a scowl on his face.

He nodded, turning off the TV. "Sure, why not?"

"Aw, you're such a sport, Bas!" said Joker, grinning, as they sat down, Harley nestling into his lap. "Always there for a friend in need. And speaking of friends in need, this friend would be willing to reward you handsomely for a little favor."

"I'm listening," muttered Karlo as Joker dealt the cards.

"Pumpkin, Daddy's just going to talk a little business with Bas," murmured Joker to Harley, kissing her. "Why don't you go back to playing with the plant?"

"Ok, Mr. J," she said, going back over to Ivy. "Ain't it just great that he's back to his old self, Red?" she sighed.

"Yeah, great," muttered Ivy. They had been playing a game of Scrabble, but Harley had abandoned it instantly in favor of Joker. Two-Face's words rang in Ivy's ears, about choosing the lover over the best friend every time, and annoyed her.

She watched Joker and Clayface, wondering what they were talking about. Joker's good mood didn't bode well for her – it could only mean that he was setting up some scheme for getting back at her.

She shrugged, trying to focus back on the game. Let him do his worst. She wasn't afraid of him.

Harley wasn't great at Scrabble, and Ivy won in about half an hour. By that time, Joker and Clayface had concluded their business, and the clown came over to join them. Ivy felt his intense eyes burning hatred at her, although he had a smile on his face.

"Pammie, just wondering if I could have a word with you in private," he said, grinning. "I have a little job lined up that requires your special talents."

Ivy shrugged. "Ok, I'll listen."

"Your cell or mine?" he asked, grinning.

"Mine," she retorted, glaring at him.

"You stay here, baby," said Joker to Harley, although he kept his eyes fixed on Ivy. "Daddy won't be long."

They left the Rec Room and entered Ivy's cell. "What's this really about, Joker?" she asked.

"I told you, Pammie, a job that requires your special talents," he repeated, grinning. "Gotta say, that rumor business of yours wasn't very funny. But it's over now, and there's no point in dwelling on the past. Let's just forgive and forget the whole thing ever happened."

"I don't want to forget it," retorted Ivy, smirking. "I thought it was pretty funny."

"Yeah, but you got a twisted sense of humor, Pam," said Joker. "You're not a comedian – you're just an amateur. And amateurs shouldn't play with the big boys. They'll just end up hurt."

"You think I'm afraid of you?" asked Ivy. "You can't hurt me, Joker."

"Maybe I can't, right here, right now," he agreed, nodding. "But Harley can," he murmured, grinning.

"And why would Harley want to hurt me?" she asked. "I'm her best friend."

"Yeah, you are, Pammie," he said. "But that doesn't make you trustworthy, does it?"

"Harley does trust me," retorted Ivy.

"She does now," he agreed. "Don't think she will for much longer, though."

"And why's that?" demanded Ivy.

"Because you're going to betray her, Pammie," replied Joker, grinning. "You're going to break her little heart clean in two. Snap it like a twig. Sorry about the imagery," he added, his eyes shining.

"Are you crazy?" snapped Ivy.

His grin widened. "Dumb question, Pammie," he whispered.

And without warning, he seized her and pulled her against the wall, shoving his mouth onto hers and kissing her. Ivy was beyond stunned – whatever she had been expecting, it would never in a hundred years have been that. She tried to break away, struggling and straining against him, but Joker had an iron grip and held her tightly. But he suddenly shoved her violently away from him, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, his eyes angry and unsmiling.

"I said no, Pammie!" he shouted. "And I've told you a million times, I'm in love with Harley! You've got no chance! So stop trying to come between the two of us, or I swear I'll tell her what you've been trying to do!"

"Puddin'?" came a soft, hurt voice from the doorway.

Ivy turned to see Harley standing there, her big, blue eyes wide and stunned. And the realization hit her with a bang. "Harley, it's not…" she began.

"Harley, what did you see?" demanded Joker.

"I saw…I saw…you and Red…you and her…oh, Mr. J!" cried Harley, bursting into tears and rushing to his arms. "What's going on?"

"Are you happy now?" growled Joker, turning angrily on Ivy as he held Harley gently. "Go on, Pammie, tell her the truth!"

"You bastard," gasped Ivy, staring at him in disbelief. "You lying, filthy, cheating, heartless bastard! You're going to break her heart and ruin her life for your own selfish revenge?!"

"I ain't the one trying to ruin her life!" shouted Joker. "Why don't you tell Harley the truth, Pammie? You've been after me from the beginning! You used Harley to get close to me – your whole friendship was just to get near me, to try to seduce me! I've told you before it won't work! It will never work! I love my Harley girl," he murmured, kissing the top of her head tenderly.

Harley was staring at Ivy in disbelief. Ivy could see how she was fighting with herself, how much she wanted to doubt Joker's words. But what she had just witnessed slowly began to convince her, and a sudden realization hit her. "That's why you're always trying to split us up," she murmured. "Why you're always trying to get me to leave him, to stay away from him. You want him for yourself!"

"I do not!" shouted Ivy. "Harley, you can't seriously believe that!"

"Why not? It makes sense to me," she retorted. "All this pretend concern for my welfare, all this encouragement to see myself as an independent individual…that was all a lie? All just to get me out of the picture so you could have him? Of course it was. Of course! How could I not have seen it before? How could I have been so blind?!"

"Harley…"

"Shut up, Ivy!" she shouted, angry tears forming in her big eyes. "Just shut up! I can't trust a word you say! I…I never could! Why, Ivy? Why did you use me like that?! How could you?!" she shrieked, bursting into tears.

"Joker, I will kill you for this," hissed Ivy, feeling her heart being ripped apart at Harley's words. "This is the cruelest thing you've ever done! It's beyond cruel, it's…it's…"

"It's nothing compared to what you've done to me!" screamed Harley, her eyes a burning mixture of agony and fury. "Ivy, I thought we were friends! I thought you cared for me! I thought you…loved me!" she sobbed.

"Harley, I do!" cried Ivy. "I do! You know I do! Can't you see he's lying? He's only doing this out of spite, out of revenge!"

"Revenge for what?" murmured Harley.

Ivy couldn't respond. Admitting that she had lied to Harley now would be the worst thing she could possibly do. She just stared at her pleadingly, willing her to believe her.

Joker took Harley's face in his hands and turned it up to him. "I love you, Harley," he murmured. "You and only you, baby. I always have and I always will."

Ivy was amazed at how good a liar he was. But it was a lie, a very impressive and terrible lie. Nobody could do this to someone and say they loved them. Nobody could rip apart someone's heart for some petty revenge and still pretend they loved them.

"Oh, Mr. J," breathed Harley. He kissed her gently, with a tenderness Ivy never dreamed him capable of. When he drew away, Harley sobbed and buried her face in his chest. "I love you, puddin'," she gasped. "You and only you."

She turned to Ivy, her eyes hard. "You stay away from us, Ivy. I don't want to see you no more. You're lucky I don't try to kill you for what you've done. I hate you enough to kill you. You hear me? I hate you!"

"Harley…" began Ivy, but she took Joker's hand and led him out of the cell without looking back.

"Bye, Ivy," she snapped.

"Bye bye, Pammie," murmured Joker, turning back to her and flashing her a grin. He blew her a kiss and waved before slamming the door shut on her.

Ivy stared at the door, in a whirl of emotions, the strongest of which was fury. She had never fully realized the depths of Joker's depravity before, how evil he actually was, how little he actually cared about anything or anyone but his stupid schemes.

She rushed at the door in a rage, intending to follow them, to have it out with Joker here and now. But to her dismay, she found the door securely locked. Joker had thought of everything. He had won this round again. She refused to let him win the war.