Much apologies for how late this chapter is- though I wouldn't call it much of a chapter as it is extremely short (which I'm also very sorry about). I have no excuse except for the lack of motivation and inspiration and constant depressive episodes.
It is 921 words of pure Sparia, however. So I hope that makes up for something.
To any of you who are continuing to follow my story, THANK YOU. It means the world to me. And a very special shout out to those who reviewed. Reviews are what inspire me to keep writing.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Sparia plot.
It seems like forever before you let go of her hand, scared by the comforting feeling of her thumb stroking your skin. She lets out a tiny sigh, whether by the sudden loss of contact or the tension clouding the room. You force yourself not to stare at her, wondering not for the first time how you got so lucky as to have a friend like her. She could be home with Toby, cuddling and watching a movie, giggling. But she chose to come to you and bask in the silence and heavy atmosphere your presence has brought.
You want to tell her something appreciative. Thank you for coming here. Thank you for caring about me. I needed you, and you came. I always need you. I love you. Your presence alone helps me breathe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
That's something you cannot say, though. It would sound so clingy and needy, and very... not you. Not to mention it would freak her the hell out.
You don't realize you've been crying until you are snapped out of your thoughts by the flash of a concerned Spencer reaching over and wiping away a stray tear. Letting out a tiny sniffle, you turn to face her.
"Hi." That's all you can, and are willing to, say.
She lets out a tiny, amused chuckle. "Hey, you."
You let out a small, watery smile at her chuckle. Her face crinkles slightly when she laughs that you can't help but find adorable. Suddenly, you lean over and hug her.
"Thank you for coming." And you're just so relieved you didn't add anything unnecessary to the statement.
"For you? Always," Spencer states softly, letting out a tiny smile.
"You didn't have to come," you say quietly, biting your lip and glancing away. "I know you were busy with Toby, and I-"
Spencer shakes her head. "You're my best friend. If you need me, I'm here for you in a heartbeat. That's how this arrangement works. Do you need me to bring a friendship contract that proves it?"
You let out a low laugh, slugging her on the arm. "You still have your sarcasm, I see."
"And you still pack a mean punch," Spencer retorts, rubbing her arm, but you can see the slight smirk on her face. The relief in her eyes of your seemingly normality is evident.
The two of you fall silent again, just sitting on your bed and enjoying the silent presence of the other. You can't help admiring Spencer all the more for this very reason alone; had it been Hanna you told, she wouldn't stop chattering, trying to cheer you up, and Emily would've been asking every ten seconds if there was something she could do to help make you feel better. Spencer, meanwhile, knows when to push and when to let go, and you're just so damn grateful that she knows you so well.
You know at some point you will have to tell Hanna and Emily what you found out. The sooner you all get rid of the 'A' monster, the better.
For some reason, you can't quite bring yourself to fathom the idea of telling either of them and formulating a plan yet. It hurts your heart, thinking of ways to finally bring down Ezra. The logical part of you knows he's 'A', the person who has been torturing you and your friends for years. But another part of you, the emotional part, still feels something for the man you fell in love with over and over again.
Letting out a choked sob at the thought of him, you turn to your best friend, tears dotting your eyes. Without thinking much about it, you press yourself into her, inhaling her familiar scent, your arms squeezing tightly around her middle. She immediately complies, kissing the crown of your head and whispering soft, comforting nothings in the shell of your ear.
"It h-hurts." You let out a choked whimper.
"I know sweetie, I know," she whispers, rubbing your back and continuously pressing kisses on the top of your head.
You hold on to her even tighter, never wanting to let go, letting yourself get surrounded in the presence of one Spencer Hastings.
...
"I'm sorry Toby, I won't be coming back to your place tonight."
"No, nothing."
"She just needs someone with her right now."
"Yeah, I know. I'll call you."
"Okay, goodnight."
"I love you."
You cover your ears, but you can still hear her utter those last three words into the phone before she hangs up and pads in her sock-covered feet back to where you pretend to be asleep in your bed. The bed dips and squeaks, indicating her presence next to you. You can feel her long arms wrap around you as she inches closer to you. Her front pressed to your backside.
You want to bask in this feeling. You haven't felt this good since... well, since before you found out about Ezra.
A kiss on your shoulder. Your breath hitches slightly. Her breath warming your ear. Her nose nuzzling your neck.
Is this what best friends normally do? you wonder, but then realize you don't care. She doesn't feel what you feel. She is being a good friend, just by comforting you as a best friend protective of their best friend should. You can allow yourself the comfort of being this close to her and pretending it means nothing.
Inside, your heart beats like a jackhammer.
You pray she can't hear it.
The next update will come a lot sooner, I promise. In the meantime, leave me a review to let me know what you thought? :)
