'Yes, we have Carroll,' Manny muttered at the desk as an aged customer stood impatiently over him.
'Please can you go a little bit faster? My train comes this century you know.' The punter sighed, looking at his wristwatch.
Manny looked up from the computer screen, a plaster having been placed on his left eyebrow where the glass had attacked him earlier, sending a trickle of blood leaking out the side of his head. 'Yes, you've said. Plenty of times.' He gritted his teeth, sighing and looking back at the computer.
'Oh!' He slammed his hand on the monitor. 'It was working fine this morning! Why isn't it letting me into the program?'
The customer became angry, 'right that's it. I can't wait here any longer! Good day to you Sir!' He slouched away, opening the door and slamming it shut.
'I just don't understand it-' Manny sighed, missing the complaint. 'What could have happened?'
'You happened,' Bernard's harsh Irish tone swept into the room. His lank figure came stomping into the shop, covered by a moth eaten blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 'I told you that computer was a shambles! Didn't I say we should have gone for the abacus? Hmm? But no. You said we needed something of worth. Something of expounding excellence because you have knowledge in this field of strawberry yoghurt technology.' His voice rose higher and higher in his demented state, waving his body round like a drunken robot.
'You have a virus!'
'Yes. I have a virus Manny. Thank you very much for paying attention to me at last.' He comes closer to Manny's face, his eyes grinding into the back of his head while Manny stares at the computer screen. 'Hot as a chick in a bikini suit but cold as an Alaskan salmon. That's me! That's the crazy horse that's going to bite your shoulder…'
'No Bernard. Shut up a minute – the computer has a virus! That's why this program's been deleted! Oh, of course. You opened up your emails yesterday and one of them must have been carrying a virus!' Manny claps his hands. 'That's it!'
'What's it?' Bernard moans, crouched over Manny, staring at the hairy beard that is making him feel more likely to vomit then usual.
Manny pauses impatiently and points at the screen. 'Can you remember what emails you opened this morning?'
'Erm…' Bernard shuts his eyes hard, trying to remember. 'There was four…something about Green Peace – which I deleted without reading, so I don't think the Elephant man is responsible for this.' He thinks harder, 'an offer from 'Apple', a letter from my mother about attending my second cousin's funeral, I deleted that one…and there was one about getting free wine for a year if I sent someone my contact details.'
Manny looks up at him, 'did you delete that one?'
'No why should I? It seemed reasonable enough. It said it would get here in a week. Yey!' He looks to the ceiling, thanking the Lord.
Manny puts his head in his hands and groans. 'Bernard you opened up a worm virus! You completely wrecked the system! Everything's gone! No wonder the computer crashes every time I get halfway through a game of minesweeper!'
Bernard blinks, rubs his head as all the information sweeps through his pounding brain and comes to a conclusion. 'So what you're saying is…my own mother is a possible computer homicidal maniac?'
'No Bernard. It was on the news this afternoon, a virus containing free alcohol to hotmail accounts…it's one of the biggest this country has seen!' Manny stares hopelessly at the screen. Bernard shrugs and is about to go upstairs to bed but stops, 'so you are absolutely certain it isn't my mother behind it all?'
'Yes Bernard, I'm certain!' Manny collapses his head on the desk.
'Just checking,' he eyes Manny suspiciously and makes his way upstairs. 'She can be a sneaky little rat sometimes, I wouldn't be surprised if it was her…'
'Go to bed Bernard!' Manny snaps.
Fran reaches for the bell to stop the bus, but the weird yellow toothed man beats her to it. She gulps and pulls her hand away quickly, avoiding contact with him. The bus stops and the man and two pensioners get out, Fran runs off behind them and shoots for the chemist across the road. She enters the shop and sighs happily. Thank God for that! She strolls over to the counter and asks for some cough medicine and paracetamol. The young male nods and goes round the back to get what she asked for. Fran turns round and next to her is the man from the bus. Her heart rate goes up and she hops from one leg to the other. Hurry up! Hurry up! she begs.
'Helllllooooo!' The man says a bit too loudly, showing all his yellow teeth.
'Erm, yeah hello, please can you move a way a little bit from me – I can feel your breath on my neck!'
'Oh, sorry. What's your name?' He gushes out quickly.
Fran tries to stop shaking and replies, 'None of your business!'
'My name is Andrew…Cocker.'
'Yes you are!' Fran snaps, rolling her eyes.
'What?'
'Nothing…' She spies the chemist coming back and has two labelled bags in each hand.
'Ah! Mr Cocker, we were expecting you five minutes ago for your medicine, I just thought I'd bring it out ready to give to you. I know you're a busy man,' he smiles. 'Miss Fran Katzenjammer, I have your medicine in this bag for you…' he holds out the bag in his left hand and Fran snatches it away, pays for it and quickly runs out of the shop.
Bernard lies alone once again in his bed, just recovering from a freezing epidemic. Now his body was hot all over and he wanted to strip down to get cool. He wanted a bath. 'Manny!' He shouts. No reply. I can't believe that little annoying gerbil is in charge of this place! He thinks, while staring at the yogurt stained lampshade above him. I know he's responsible for my illness. I just have to prove it. His eyes bulge as he thinks of an idea. When did this all start happening? When he bought that computer! Aha! I've got him now. He grins manically, he and that computer are up to no good. They are plotting against me. They want to overthrow me and claim the throne for themselves! The lame excuse of the internet virus didn't fool me! But what if…he thinks about the possibility of a computer virus that can leap onto a person. People get worms…I could have worms! Gasp! I have worms and it's all because of that sinister contraption!
Bernard throws himself upright and looks around the room. 'I need to arm myself!' He gets out of bed and grabs hold of a handy mallet next to the bedside table.
Fran races back to Black Books armed with her medicine.
Manny closes the shop for the day and cleans up the shelves. Bernard watches him through the curtain, a look of menace on his face. He glides through them like a bird of prey, heading for the computer on the desk. He lifts his arm holding the mallet and is ready to let it drop – big time.
Thank you for reading the third chapter, the next one will be up soon! Amy x
