Loki: Alright, third letter I have recieved has been sent to me by a mortal with the username FireHose2011.
FireHose2011: In case you didn't know, that's me.
Loki: FireHose2011 has composed a letter as bleh, the first avenger Captain America.
FireHose2011: That's right!
Loki: Now witness the kneeling to your king. Witness FireHose kneeling before me.
FireHose2011: Ehh...I don't think so...uh reader, please enjoy reading the letters.
Loki: ...
Hi goddess of mischief,
I just wanted to remind you that you're a loner and that'll never change. Also, I revealed your secret; now everybody knows that you get bullied at In-N-Out. FYI do you remember that fight we had in Germany? Yeah, I don't know if that's how you fight, but omigod you fighting style is like a donkey that's been dead for a decade! Lol, you stink.
DO IT FOR AMERICA,
Captain America
Captain America?
There is something peculiar that strikes me, the fact that you prefer to address yourself as Captain America toward me.
Now what would be the cause of that?
Does the name provided by your birth givers satisfy you not?
Is it that you prefer being under the title "Captain" simply because sets you apart from the rest of the insignificant mortals?
Is it perhaps that being under this particular title makes you feel superior and much more powerful than everyone that surrounds you…
Ah, you need not to let me in the know of your true reason because I am in knowledge of it already.
Steve Rogers was a nothing more than shuddering little weakling, correct am I not?
Steve Rogers was a terrified little pest to the natives of Midgard who to them; served no real purpose other than to cower at the plain sight of anything larger than himself.
There was no real motive to the life of Steve Rogers to anyone that is of course, until they developed an extremely powerful concoction that promised a more powerful being but even they were sure or not it would work.
Rather than risk anyone else for their precious life, they called to the most hopeless among helpless.
Remember this, they did not consider you because you were worthy; they considered you because you were unworthy.
Oh, the pain that tightly grasped you as the intoxicating potion first made contact with your veins.
You were nothing more than an experiment to them and if it seized to not succeed, they would care not.
But alas, it did succeed and the people who doubted you in the past now helplessly fall to their knees and beg you for your undivided protection.
Because of that did it not result in you putting your life at risk; being frozen solid for more than 70 years?
I would much rather confirm myself a loner rather than lowering myself to the abyss by helping those who in the past have betrayed me so.
…
In N Out…I recall nothing as to being bullied there nor I shall give further detail as to how my unsuspected encounter with Bruce Banner initiated.
Neither as to how the doctor managed to convert into that hideous green beast in less than a second before quickly snatching me from the ground which I stand and pounding my body against the solid ground consecutively.
…
No, I shall not give you any further detail on that.
As for the miniscule of a rumble that initiated between us in Stuttgart…
How dare you insult my fighting skill by comparing it to a mule that has been deceased for over a decade?
Not only that but have you also the balls to refer to me as a Goddess?
This is all absolutely preposterous…
And what is this FYI and LOL nonsense of which you speak, do not try to confuse me with such acronyms of yours, mortal!
…
It appears that I have run out of time to continue writing to you because the guards are releasing me from my cell in order to have a long Bingo session in the prison lobby, which I cannot bear to miss out on once again.
I bid you this farewell but I can well assure you, it will not be the last.
Loki
God of Mischief
