Steve Pov

I wake up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I turn around and see the cupboard open and empty.

Shit.

My old man passed out on the sofa, the front door hanging off it's hinges, the sun shining through the cracks in the ceiling; everything looks the same yet the house feels different somehow. God only knows why.

Now I know Josh like I know me, and the first thing he'll have done when that cupboard door was opened would be to shoot straight outa there like a bat outa hell. Bleeding head or no bleeding head he's a smart kid, takes after me. I push myself up off the floor and tear out the door after him.

Christ, every damn kid on the damn eastside looks like my little brother. No point hanging around here, though he pretends otherwise Josh isn't a fan of crowded places and I know it. My feet are taking me to the Curtis's house and hell, I might as well let 'em as that seems as good a place to start as any.

Ponyboy looks set to jump straight outa his skin as I come busting through the door, hollering at the top of my lungs about Josh. He just blinks at me in that annoying way he has which makes him look like chipmunk.

"Is he here!" I say as I stick my head into all their rooms, in case Josh felt like taking another catnap.

"Who?" Jesus Christ, I swear to god I could kill that kid sometimes. He's supposed to be smart but he's pretty good at hiding it. If Josh was even the slightest bit like Ponyboy Curtis I'd have knocked some sense into him years ago.

"Elvis Presley…" Blink, blink, blink…god I don't have time for this. "Josh you idiot! He's run off somewhere."

"What!" Darry sticks his head out the kitchen, dish rag still in hand. "Where's he gone? Why? How…I thought…"

"Yeah well you thought wrong. Look he hit his head, he was talking a load of crap, god only knows where he's gone." I charge back out of their door and into the bright sunlight, looking frantically from side to side, trying to decide which way to run first.

"Look…we'll split up ok. I'll take the truck, you and Ponyboy head to the lot then split up from there. Meet back here in twenty minutes. We'll find him Steve, don't worry."

Darry's voice makes me jump, him appearing beside me outa nowhere like that. I recover myself enough to utter a gruff "I'm not worried."

Darry just raises his eyebrows and yells at Ponyboy to get his shoes on. Before I know where I am he's disappearing round the corner in their old ford, and I'm sprinting towards the lot with Ponyboy hot on my heels.

I'm panting by the time we reach the lot, sweat trickling down my forehead and making my shirt stick to my back. Ponyboy's standing next to me, not even breathing heavily. Jesus…I hate that kid. He straightens up and shields his eyes with his hand, staring off into the distance as if Josh is suddenly going to appear through the sun glare.

"Now…" He says, slowly and carefully, sounding like he's talking more to himself than to me. "If I were Joshua Randle…where would I go…"

God, and I thought Josh talked a lot of crap! I shove him hard in the back as I jog past him in the direction of the Nightly Double. "Thank God you're not Josh…if I were related to you, I'd shoot myself."

Even though I still feel sick to my stomach with worry, picturing Ponyboy's confused and startled face makes me feel slightly better.

Twenty minutes later I'm back outside Darry's house, wiping sweaty palms down my jeans and dying for a drink of water. Darry pulls up in the truck, shaking his head as he jumps out. I start to mutter a prayer in my head, like my mother used to tell me when I was younger. "Please, please God, let Josh be ok. Please."

Darry's looking at his watch. "Where's Ponyboy?" He asks, looking at me expectantly.

I shrug. "How the hell should I know." I've got more important things to be worrying about than Ponyboy 'the tagalong' Curtis.

Darry stares at his watch again, as if it might know where Ponyboy is. "Is been a good half hour, he should be back by now."

I shrug again because there's nothing much I can say. Darry stares off into the distance, using his hand to shade his eyes, just like Ponyboy did earlier.

"Great…" He mutters darkly. "That's just what we need; two missing kids."

I know it's them before we even reach the edge of the park. Darry must realise it too, as we both stop running just short of the playing field. We both watch dumbly as the two silhouettes stagger slowly towards us, the setting sun blazing red and orange behind them. Ponyboy has his arm around Josh, half holding him, half dragging.

Me and Darry start jogging towards them, relief slowly replacing a sick feeling of unease that had settled in the pit of my stomach without me really noticing. As we get closer I see Josh's head is lolling uselessly on Ponyboy's shoulder, his eyes closed and his face expressionless. I can see Ponyboy beginning to slump under Josh's dead-weight, he's looking scared and desperate, almost like he's about to cry.

There's no use yelling at Josh if you want him to do something, you gotta talk to him real calm and real nice, kinda like you're talking to a baby. Ponyboy's obviously figured this out as I can hear him saying "It's alright Josh, nearly there. Just a few more steps ok? That's it, tiny little baby steps, just one at a time. Yeah, that's real good, you doing real good Josh."

Anxiety is beginning to snake its way back into my belly, slowly winding itself around my insides and making my breath come in short sharp bursts. We're almost there now, and I've got this idea in my head that as soon as I get to Josh everything is gonna be ok and he'll open his eyes and stop scaring me to death like he is now.

"Darry I can't…" Ponyboy calls out, his voice rasping and catching in his throat. They fall to the floor just as we get to them. Ponyboy's breathing hard and staring up at the sky, his left arm still around Josh who's now lying flat on his back beside him. "Couldn't hold him…too heavy…"

"Jesus Pone…you, are you alright?" Darry's kneeling down next to then, he looks like he wants to do something to help, but doesn't know what. I know the feeling. "What happened?"

Ponyboy shifts, trying to move his arm out from underneath Josh. He gives up and lies still again. "I dunno…he was alright before. I found him by the fountain, dangling his feet in the water. I think he was hot, but he was a bit confused…I didn't really understand what he was talking about. I told him that we should get back, but he said he didn't want to…said something about a cupboard. Anyways, I told him you were waiting for him Steve, and he said he'd come. We were walking along and he was holding my hand, he kept spacing out on me, but I figured he was just tired. So I put my arm round him just to sorta help him along a bit I guess. Then…I dunno…we were walking and he just suddenly went really…really heavy. I thought he'd fallen asleep, but I couldn't carry him so I just kept walking…and then…and then you came."

Ponyboy's watching Darry real carefully, like checking to make sure he's not mad or anything. He's got that pleading look in his eye that Josh has sometimes. Darry reaches down and puts his hand on Ponyboys hair, stroking it real gently with his fingers. Ponyboy takes a deep breath and starts to relax, and for just that one moment I wish me and Josh could be like that, just for a moment…

"Steve, help me move Josh so we can get Ponyboy up would ya?" The moment's gone and Darry's back to being in control which means I'm back to being worried and everything is back to normal. I lift Josh up slightly so Ponyboy can slip his arm out, and Darry hauls him gently to his feet. "Are you ok?" He asks, holding Ponyboy away from him so he can look him up and down. "How's your arm? Feel any different? You can move it alright?"

Ponyboy nods and mutters something about pins and needles, but I'm to busy poking at Josh with my toe to pay much attention. When he still won't get up I crouch down next to him, shaking him like I do on school mornings. His head didn't seem too bad from a distance, but now I'm up close I can see his hair is clumped together with blood and there's a trickle running down the side of his neck. I shake him a bit harder as my stomach does a nosedive.

"He's not gonna get up Steve. You'll have to carry him." Darry says it gently, but behind his eyes I think I see a hint of annoyance. I hadn't noticed they were watching me. Darry has his arm protectively around Ponyboy, who's gazing at me steadily with a strange sad look in his eye. I don't like it, it's like he's…he's pitying me.

I heave Josh to his feet, feeling his dead-weight in my arms. I dunno how to go about picking him up and I wish Darry and Pony would stop watching coz it's making me feel awkward. I haven't carried Josh since he was weeny, my general line of thinking is he's got legs so he might as well use them, but I guess today is an exception. I remember I used to keep one arm around his back to stop him slipping sideways, and the other arm under his butt to keep him up so that's the position I'm going for as I lift him into my arms.

He keeps slipping away from me and I can't get a good enough hold on him. He's all floppy and that makes him heavier for some reason. I realise that when I used to hold him before, Josh would have his legs wound around my waist and his arms around my neck, helping to keep himself up. I look at his arms hanging uselessly by his sides and know that there is no way this is going to work.

I start walking anyway because Pony and Darry are still staring at us and I dunno what else to do. Josh slips further and further down until I'm holding him awkwardly under his armpits and his feet are about two inches off the ground.

"Steve…" I turn around and meet Darry's eyes even though I don't want to. "Look, you can't carry him like that, you're gonna hurt him and you're gonna hurt yourself. How about you give him to me ok? You look pretty beat anyway."

He takes Joshie from me, cradling him against his chest like a baby. Darry strides off and Ponyboy quickly follows, leaving me to strangle along after them all. Half way across the park, Ponyboy turns back to look at me. I think about punching him because he's still got that sad look in his eyes, but Darry's carrying Josh so I content myself with staring coldly back at him. He slows down slightly, enough so that I catch up to him and then we're walking at the same pace. He doesn't say anything and keeps his eyes to the ground, but he's definitely making a conscious effort to walk beside me.

And just for that short walk back to the Curtis's house, I don't feel quite so alone.

Ponyboy Pov

Darry lays Josh down on the couch and Steve sits down in the armchair, staring at Josh with this weird look in his eyes. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was scared.

Darry's doing what Darry does best. He got everything under control and is already bossing me around, telling to me get this and be careful with that, prodding me in the back to make me move faster. He's given up with Steve, who's gone still as a statute and stopped blinking about five minutes ago.

Now, I'm the first person to admit me and Steve have a love hate relationship. And by that I mean we pretend to get along for the sake of Sodapop, but secretly we hate eachother, always have and probably always will.

But I can see Steve's really beating himself up over this whole thing with Josh, so once I'm done fetching and carrying for nurse Darry, I perch uneasily on the edge of his armchair. I offer him a glass of water and silently, my support. He doesn't do anything for a long time, but then he takes the water and downs it in three gulps. His eyes look up to meet mine, and I know that right at this moment, we understand eachother.

Darry starts cleaning the dark patch on Josh's head, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, which is Darry's way of trying to stay calm. Suddenly Josh lets out a gasp and sits up, wide eyes staring widely around the room. He reaches up to scratch his head, but Darry pulls his hand away.

"Careful there Kiddo. You took a knock to the head, but it's alright now…I'm just gonna clean it up for you ok?" Josh nods his head and Darry dips the rag back into the bowl of water I brought him, carefully ringing it out.

I look behind me at Steve, who's now sitting bolt upright in his chair. The strange look in his eye has been replaced by anger. I get up and go and sit by Josh, just to be on the safe side.

"Josh…" Steve says sharply, then when Josh won't meet his eye. "Josh look at me! Why'd you run off like that huh? I was right there next to you…Why the hell didn't…why the hell will you never let me help you?"

"Steve, I don't think now is the time to be giving him the third degree on what he should or shouldn't have done…" Darry starts through gritted teeth, but Josh cuts him off.

"You were asleep," Josh whispers, not even flinching as Darry dabs at his cut. "I didn't wanna wake ya up. You ain't slept that good in a long time…you need sleep Steve."

Steve's eyes soften as he mutters "You had me scared to death, you know that don't ya kid?"

Josh smiles a small secret smile at him before passing out cold. Steve jumps up ready to rush over, but Darry stops him, placing a reassuring yet firm had on his chest. "It's ok Steve, it's normal. He's had a shock, he just needs to sleep it off that's all."

Steve is looking from Josh to Darry and back again like he can't decide what to do. The door bursts open and we all breathe a sigh of relief as Sodapop saunters in.

It's dark as I step into the living room, the only light coming from the lamp on the coffee table. Steve hasn't moved from his spot on the chair and Soda's perched on the arm of the chair just like I was earlier. Except Soda seems to be doing a better job of offering support than I did, because there's two empty bowls of soup on the floor. At least Steve stopped staring at Josh enough to eat.

Darry's big old alarm clock is by Steve's feet, reminding them to wake Josh every two hours to make sure he's still…ok. Soda has a hand on Steve's back, letting him know he's still there with him. That's he's there with Steve instead of me.

I knew I was going to have a nightmare tonight the minute I found Josh sitting by the fountain. I dunno how, but sometimes I just know. I stuffed a handkerchief in my mouth just before I fell asleep to muffle my screams when I woke up. I guess it worked coz no one came running. I'm glad because Soda needs to be with Steve now, Steve needs him more than I do.

That's why I'm standing here, watching Steve watching Josh and thanking God I've got two brothers instead of just the one. Just because one's busy, doesn't mean the other one is. I'd made the mistake underestimating my fear of being alone after a nightmare, I guess I'm so used to Sodapop being there, I've forgotten what it's like.

"You ok Pone?" Soda asks as I pad past the couch and start off down the hall. Steve doesn't even look up. I nod and catch Soda smiling as I slip into Darry's room. He loves it how me and Darry are closer now and so do I. Me and him still have disagreements, but we keep them between ourselves and sort them out quick as possible. Neither of us wants to take the risk of hurting Soda.

Despite this, as I stand next to Darry's bed I start to have second thoughts. He's awful grumpy when he's woken up in the night and he's had a stressful day. Also he's not to keen on sharing his bed with anyone, let alone his little brother. He says I squirm to much. Maybe I should just leave him me… But then I think of my empty bed and empty room and can't make myself go back.

I'm still standing there trying to decide what's the best thing to do when he rolls over. "Come on Pone, you've been standing there for a good five minutes now. You coming in or not?"

He pulls me close as I crawl in next to him, resting his chin on my head. "God you're freezing…how can you be cold in this heat huh? What were you standing there like that for anyways? I thought for a minute you were sleep walking…"

"I didn't wanna wake you…" I trail off, not sure what to say next.

"You thought I'd be mad." He says it as a statement but he must feel me shrug because he continues. "You know I never get mad at you about your nightmares. They're not your fault Ponyboy, I'd never blame you for something that wasn't your fault."

"How did you know I had a nightmare?" I turn to look at him and can just make out him smiling sadly in the dark.

"Lets just call it big brothers intuition. I dunno, I just sorta knew…right from where I touched your hair in the park. I just got a feeling."

"Yeah…me to."

"I was waiting for you to scream…" I feel him squeeze me tighter and I know he's worried about me. "You know…you haven't had a nightmare since…"

"Since Johnny and Dally died." I finish for him. "I know…I think it had something to do with Josh. The way he was just lying there, he looked…" Darry strokes the back of my head, letting me know I don't have to finish my sentence and that he understands. I figure as we're having a heart to heart I might as well tell Darry something that's been bothering me since this afternoon. I take a deep breath and mumble into his shirt, "Darry, did I do something wrong?"

He lifts my chin to make me look at him. "No of course you didn't. What makes you say that? Has Steve said something to you? That little…"

"No Steve hasn't said anything. It's just…Josh was fine. Then he just went…funny. Should I have left him where he was? I didn't mean for him to get like that, he just went. And then I couldn't hold him…I got really scared Darry. I didn't know what to do, I just thought if I cud get him back to Steve…oh I dunno."

Darry sighs and strokes my hair. "I knew this would get to you…But you gotta understand Pone, it wasn't your fault. He wasn't thinking right…remember what Steve said? He'd hit his head, was talking a load of rubbish…weird things happen when people take a bump to the head ya know…"

I nod my head and we're quite for a minute until Darry says quietly, "You know, that was a real brave thing you done today."

"What?" I say, looking up at him.

"Letting Soda stay with Steve, even though you knew you'd need him. Me and him sure appreciate what you did, even if Steve doesn't."

I lean my head back against his chest and whisper into the sheets, "I don't always need Soda…"

But I know Darry hears me because I feel his chest swell against mine and he tells me to go to sleep, which is just Darry's way showing he cares. I'm awful glad I figured that out to…else I might never have known why God gave me two brothers instead of just one.

Yes i know, i apologise for the corny ending. Honestly i do. Thank you very much to all my lovely reviewers, seriously you guys make me feel great. Well, i'm not very pleased with this chappy, but i wanted to post something. I may go back and change bits when i find the time or if the general opinion is extremely low. What do you think of the relationship between Steve and Josh and Darry and POnyboy. Do you think they're realistic as the relationship of brothers? Your opnions will be greatly valued so please review, however i am a sensitive person, so no flames please.

Happy Writing

Smile xxxxx