Merlin looked around the basement, bored. The clicking from Fangirl's "keyboard," as Kidnapper put it, was driving him insane a bit – almost like Chinese Water Torture.

He was bored.

Well, he was bored until he noticed the knife lying on the floor near his foot, close enough to reach. One though crossed his mind: freedom.


Hello, sir, Kidnapper typed in her laptop.

THE FANDOM IS DOING BETTER THAN I EXPECTED.

What do you mean, sir?

THEY ARE FIGHTING BACK. WE HAVE TO RAISE THE STAKES.

What do you suggest, sir?

WE NEED TO-

Sir? Kidnapper bit her lip.

WHERE IS HE?

I don't know what you m-

EMRYS HAS ESCPAED.

What should I do?!

FIND HIM, KIDNAPPER, BEFORE I FIND YOU.

~end transmission~

Kidnapper shut her laptop and ran downstairs to the basement. Sure enough, Merlin was gone and the ropes that had been binding him were cut up on the floor.

Merlin, indeed, had escaped.


SO MERLIN FANDOM, IT SEEMS YOUR HERO HAS ESCAPED. IT IS OF NO MATTER. KIDNAPPER WILL FIND HIM.

BESIDES MERLIN FANDOM, DOES IT MATTER IF MERLIN DIES OR NOT ANYMORE? WHO'S TO SAY THAT YOU WON'T FORGET ABOUT THIS STUPID LITTLE SHOW ONCE THE BBC COMES OUT WITH SOMETHNG FRESH? YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO START WATCHING THAT NEW ATLANTIS SHOW AND FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS SO CALLED "FANDOM."

YOU HAVE THREE WEEKS, MERLIN FANDOM.


The fangirl being held hostage would like to thank all those who have reviewed, and to thank them for their concern. And as for why she can't leave: the muffins. Muffins are evil.