My heart just wants to jump out of my chest.
My brain vehemently denies what my eyes are seeing.
I gulp, instinctively. My legs weaken.
Is that really her?
...It has to be. Who else wears such a large white bow with their ponytail like that?
I'm not scared of her, or for whatever past atrocities she's committed. For all I know, they haven't even transpired yet. But that, precisely is why I feel this much fear.
I'm scared because she's here.
Let me put it like this.
Say, Pokemon suddenly came over to the real world. Say they retain whatever physics allowed them to have whatever moveset they had from back there. Sure, you'd be overjoyed to no end that you can finally own a Skitty, Eevee, or Charmander... but what about the ramifications of the said hypothetical?
What about their incredibly overpowered moves? Wouldn't they inflict mass panic once malicious people got their hands on them? Truly, it's not the joy that one would feel about a fictional thing coming to life that should spark ones joy; rather, it should be the concern for what it entails.
This is exactly what's happening right now. The fact that she's before my very eyes is making my mind race. Who am I supposed to be in this scripted world? What is she up to?
I need more information. I continue to observe her from the balcony, but to my dismay, her eyes lock on to mine. I don't flinch; and I can't tell if it's because I'm momentarily fearless, or scared shitless.
Her expression... it's odd. I can feel her suspecting me from, well, a mile away; but at the same time it's not quite what I'd call a hostile glare. She stops in her tracks, and waits for the crowd to move past her, until it's just her, standing still there. It's an odd sight for any onlooker. but to me, it just raises more red flags.
Despite what transpires before me, all I can do is stare. Stare, and hope she doesn't bear any ill intent.
Seconds turn to minutes, until it's just her.
Just Monika.
Turning around again, she stares straight through my soul and smiles. And just as I blink, the very next second I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"You know, you could've just said hello, right?" A voice playfully whispers into my ear.
I turn around reflexively; my hands against the railing behind me for support.
"I don't know what to say." I reply hastily, while also trying my level best to not fall off from sheer shock.
"Cat got your tongue?" She jokes.
Her words might be sharp, but not enough to kill me. Not yet.
"Cat's out of the bag, I guess." I retort. She steps towards me, and leans forward, uncomfortably close.
"I thought as much." She pokes me, and then runs her finger up to my lips. "Quite an oddity we have here, hm?"
Unsure of what to do or say, I only manage to let out an awkward croak, partly in thanks to how awkward the situation I'm in is.
"I'm not the only one, then, huh..." She sighs; her voice suddenly a more somber tone. "Is it wrong to feel happy at someone elses demise?"
There's something ominous about the choice of words used, and I'm not liking the sinister aspect one bit.
"Only one?" I repeat, hoping too glean more information.
"Yes. Now I'm sure I'm not the only one with free will." She comments.
Hold up.
What?
I know people joke about how free will is an illusion and all that, but just what is she insinuating over here?
She quickly picks up on my confusion, and adds, "If the others around me had free will, don't you think they'd call the cops on some shady person appearing out of nowhere in an otherwise abandoned house?"
Well, when you put it that way...
"So you're telling me that the others are simply just preprogrammed robots? Wouldn't that make them seem like they were... in a game? How'd you figure that out?"
She nods, and casually answers, "I'd know, because I've lived this week several thousand weeks."
Right, of course. Was I expecting some mundane answer? I'm at least comforted knowing this Monika isn't one that erased someones existence or drove someone to insanity.
Yet, of course.
Not even three hours in, and I'm being hit with a flurry of outlandish information.
Well, since it's come to this, I might as well ask what might as well be the biggest question of them all at the moment.
"Let me guess, your name's Monika, with a 'k'?" I cock my head to the right, raising my own brow in reply.
Her dumbfounded look and sudden step back tell me all I need to know.
"How... how do you know that?" She asks, while her jaw remains dropped.
"I.. uh. I'm pretty sure I've seen you somewhere." I sheepishly laugh it off and make up a lie.
In actuality, I don't want to let her know where I obtained this information beforehand. Imagine someone telling you that you were just some character they remember playing in some video game. How would you feel? I'll let her know when the time comes, I suppose.
"So, I'm known in your world? Am I some fictional character?" She asks. "That's... a bit weird, when you think about it."
"How the hell did you come to that conclusion so fast? Or at all?!" I reply, in disbelief.
"No one stares with as much awe and familiarity as you did unless they saw someone they wouldn't normally expect to see. That, or you thought I'm very attractive!" She playfully winks.
How do I even begin to respond to that?
"Believe whichever you want." I mutter, partly out of embarrassment. "Speaking of which, how the hell did you just get up here instantaneously?"
"I don't know, actually. It's a bit like thinking in three dimensions. I visualize being there, and bam, I'm there! It takes a certain amount of something to do, though, so I can't do it on command. It's actually been the first time in ages that I've done it!" She takes a seat on the bed. "I'm pretty sure you should be able to, too."
"And what makes you think that?"
"You know how in games, you sometimes have a console window that allows you to manipulate yourself and the world around you? And how you're there, but only in the form of your avatar? It's a lot like that, except you are your avatar, and have free will of your own. That's the best way I can put it."
"So that means us- us outsiders, should, in theory be able to manipulate this world at will?" I add.
"In theory, yes; I'm sure you've got a ton more latent control; after all, I seem to be a fictional character to you, and to me, everyone else seems like a scripted character." She posits. "It's like you've got the whole suite of administrator privileges while I just have the the ability to manipulate stuff."
"You mentioned being an outsider. If you've got this whole spatial control down, why can't you just go to wherever you came from?" I muse.
"I don't think I can. That... thing. It must've brought me to a whole other universe. And even if I could, in theory, escape, I've been through this cycle so many times that I've forgotten what life was like before coming here by the time I knew of it to begin with."
So that thing was, in fact a wormhole. Albeit, one that took me out of my own universe.
"That's... depressing." I take a seat beside her.
Ah, how the world loves to toy around with me. There I was complaining about life, and now here I am, trying to deal with informational paradoxes that defy all established logic I had prior. Life truly does have a cruel sense of humor.
I made my choices, but in reality, the choices made me... well, me.
Seeing her go from an image to a sentient being I can naturally converse and interact with is quite the mental leap, but talking with her somehow eases the process a lot for me.
The two of us continue talking; not as otherworldly beings, but as equals. As humans. And frankly, she's every bit as charismatic as the game made her out to be. Hearing and seeing her in the flesh is oddly comforting and reassuring. Her questions for me are a little odd, and involve asking me what life was like back before this happened, and even the smallest things seem to pique her attention. I can't blame her; she lost all memory of what it means to live what could be called a relatively normal life. Now that I've been placed out of my element as well, it's not hard to see where she's coming from.
In fact, having an outlet in many ways is what keeps us sane. We're social animals, and having dynamic social relationships are tantamount to having a stable life. Now, imagine if you were tossed into a world not unlike that of a game, where every person you've met kept spitting out the same few lines, without no change, let alone form meaningful bonds with which you could form any sort of rapport.
And to live a few thousand weeks like that... I can only imagine how much suppressed emotions she's keeping from me now, and her relief is genuine. To lose ones own past is to forget what made oneself what they are in the present. Not even an existential crisis is an apt enough expression to describe what it must feel like.
Geez. What a taxing day it's been.
Tossed into some persons sick idea of a world, finding out I could be some nigh omnipotent entity with the right conditions, and, of course, that I'm talking with someone who I once thought existed as just a sprite and data behind a screen to meeting them in the flesh.
Monika is just as exhausted, if not more than I am already. It turns out that teleporting out of the blue after a long while took a lot of her, so she's resting. Well, more accurately, it's more like she just passed out in the middle of conversation and leaned on my shoulder, leaving me to deal with just about the same problem I face with a sleeping pet. If anything, it lets me collect my thoughts for a second time, after the massive revelations I was left to deal with, following her appearance.
How does this world exist? Science accounts for the possibility of a multiverse scenario thanks to how the inflation of the universe pans out, and how ambiguous the void outside of it is. There really is nothing to say that this isn't just some pocket dimension that the enigma I saw connects to, and, going by her words, other worlds too. Almost like a hub of sorts.
Even though she postulates that I could have godlike powers, I'm incredibly hesitant to believe it as such. The fact remains that I'm at a huge information gap here. I've barely been here a day. She's lived it for what I can only imagine must've been actual years. In order to make any lead whatsoever, I can only hope to piece together what I can, alone or otherwise. And yet... I begin to doubt the very idea of doing so.
I mean, if Monika could, she would've figured out something, wouldn't she? She's got time in droves, after all.
But saying that is nothing but a blanket statement given what I know already. Anyone in her shoes would've gone insane. Maybe even offed themselves out of loss of hope. I wouldn't put it past someone to lose grasp of reason and hope once all seems nigh impossible when the situation seems dire.
She's got an iron will, and there's nothing I can ever say that disproves it. The fact she sits beside me at the moment is simply testament to that.
My mind wanders off on it's own tangent, and before long the day dies, and night rises.
I must have passed out, myself.
Before my eyes is a painfully bright landscape. I've seen it many times, only to wake up, none the wiser. And almost always, it's the same scenario.
This time, however, something is off. Far more than I've ever seen the likes of before. In what I can only believe is an instant, the bright, white horizon turns a dark, empty black. I can see nothing. It reminds me of the time before I awoke in this world. Time accelerates to the point that it loses meaning, and then slows to almost a stop. A room is materializing bit by bit, inch by inch. It reminds me of things.
Happy memories. Sad ones, too.
It feels homely, yet cold.
Far, but only at a moments respite.
I see smiles my way. But so many, oh, so many feel so artificial. All but one.
An institution of learning? A closeted home?
What is this sickly feeling? Despair? Isolation?
Doubts. So many doubts. But there's only one face behind it. And as I reach out to remove its creepy smiling mask, I understand. I see.
My face. It smiles, just like its mask. Unnaturally. Artificially. I fall backwards.
I'm slowly going to end up as that, is all that goes through my mind in the moment.
A hand reaches out for me. It isn't my own. Rather, than pitiful, this one is sympathetic. And the face smiles.
Not like my masked self. No, it's a warm, gentle one. It's a face I know better than my own. It pull me up, and I feel the color return to the landscape.
From the drab and wistful noir to the clean slate of undyed being.
I wake up in a cold sweat. I'm taking in mouthfuls of air, like I'm starved for air after a long run. I can't remember what happened, but I felt nothing but dread on opening my eyes. I'm still here. The room isn't my own, as I expect.
My head hurts. I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling, honestly. I feel a flurry of fear and anger, and everything in between. I feel like an absolute mess. I don't even know why I feel the way I do.
"Hn..." I groan. I ruffle my already messy hair in a fit of frustration, having no better way to let it out.
A pair of emerald eyes glance at mine, momentarily, before looking away.
Monika's still here?
"You looked like you were having a nightmare. Are you alright?" I hear her murmur.
"No, I need a moment to collect myself." I exhale. So much for being a pillar of support when I look like I'm about to crumble...
She smiles, reassuringly. "We have all the time in the world to ourselves. Take your time."
Well, she's not wrong...
"I wasn't expecting you to stick around, actually." I comment, "I can't imagine staying in this musty mess of a place is comfortable for you,"
She pouts. "Well, it's a lot more comfortable having company, if you ask me."
I can't help but sheepishly laugh a little. She's been nothing but helpful since our fateful encounter. She's got the charisma of a leader, no doubt.
"Maybe." There's just something about that simple, sudden reason that's endearing. "It's the little things that count, after all."
She flashes me a toothy grin. "Besides, it's the least I could do for pestering you on for hours."
"Oh, stop. I wasn't bothered by it at all." I wave my hands in the air, dismissing that claim.
"Say what you will." She gets up off the bed, raising her shoulders in indecision. "So, what now?"
I pause, and let my mind wander off.
I really have nothing. Sure, I'm all talk, theorizing as much as the next theoretical physicist or Hououin Kyouma, but I, honest to God have no idea where to start off.
"I've got nothing," I deadpan. "Maybe explore?"
Monika ponders for a second, then faces me with a mischievous grin.
"If you get bored of doing that, you could always tag along with me to school." She sticks her tongue playfully, being an obvious tease.
Never thought I'd see the day that I would actually look forward to attending school, and hey, if going to school helps preventing a potential existential crisis, I'll take it.
Taking her suggestion to heart, I give her a grin of my own as my answer.
Apologies for the short second chapter; I meant for it to be more of a bridging chapter than a full fledged one, and had to cut it short to maintain its cliffhanger. Nonetheless, I tried to get this one out fast enough to move the story on, and establish some world building, and a teaser for my poems to come. I was also looking to firmly establish Monikas personality and do her justice better than in the first rendition of this, as I felt like she was incredibly inconsistently written, along with the haphazard manner of pacing at pivotal moments.
As you can probably guess, I was taking an experimental route with the dream sequence, and I'd love to get critique on the writing now compared to before, and how it is overall. Of course, your takes on where the direction is going and queries are, as always gladly accepted, too!
