Raph was gone. And in his wake he had left devastation.
Mikey was still on the ground, gasping and on the verge of tears, unable to deal with what he just heard. Donnie was kneeling next to him, swallowing his own emotions to steady the youngest with soft words and gentle gestures.
Leonardo was still standing where he had been when Raph exploded at them, unable to comprehend what had just happened.
With a detached expression, the oldest brother watched his siblings try and cope with the truth of Raphael's words. Try and fail.
In the end, Mikey did break down into bitter tears and noiseless sobs, and the helpless look Donatello sent him got him to move. "Mikey... come, we all need to rest. You can sleep with me tonight, alright?" He wanted to have words to comfort him. To make him stop crying and ease the situation for all of them.
But he couldn't.
All he could do was holding back his own tears and support his youngest sibling as they walked towards his bedroom. Leo did pause to look back at Donatello, however, wanting to make sure he'd be able to deal on his own for now.
The exhausted, sad little smile told him enough and he gave a little nod.
Donnie would manage for the night. And in the morning, they'd all hopefully have had some rest to start picking up the pieces of this broken mess they were in.
Leo sighed, leaning down to press a small kiss to Mikey's head as they walked.
It didn't take long to coax Mikey into bed, the youngest brother falling asleep almost the moment his head touched the pillow and Leonardo was glad for it. It gave him a little time to settle down himself, calm himself before he attempted to sleep.
Strangely enough, his thoughts emptied themselves.
Suddenly, his mind was blank, and Leo was so, so glad for it. He was tired. And climbing into his bed felt like heaven. Tired arms wrapped around his sleeping baby brother and Leo was out like a light as well.
Unlike his two brothers, Donatello wasn't yet ready to rest.
He still stood in the kitchen, looking over the damage. Not that there was much, a puddle of now-cold water, a broken pan, a cracked kettle, and uncountable, invisible wounds that he had no idea how to even start to mend.
For now, he did what he could, cleaning up the scattered pieces of kitchenware, pausing when he picked up the kettle.
Raphael had wanted hot water. Probably to make some food for the baby and Donnie swallowed. He knew little to nothing about infants, infant mutants even less, but he was pretty sure that going hungry wasn't much of an option for the little one.
He also knew that his sibling would not come back out of his room after his... confession.
Throwing the broken items into the trash, Donatello pulled out a new pot to cook water in. He didn't know whether Raphael was even still awake or if he'd appreciate it, but preparing some formula for the baby was at least something Donnie could DO.
Feeling useless wasn't something he was well able to deal with, so even a small task as this was something that put his mind at ease a bit.
Preparing the formula was simple enough. Cook water, let it cool, mix in the right amount of formula powder, done. Since there was no bottle or anything similar to use, Donnie searched through his supplies for something else he could give Raph to use.
In the end, he was actually rather satisfied with the results and carried the formula in a thermos-cup to Raphael's room. His eagerness to knock vanished the instant he was in front of the door, biting his lip.
He was scared.
Scared of Raphael's reaction. Scared of the things he had heard. Scared of the consequences. Just... scared.
And then, he shook his head, stunned at himself.
What was he even thinking? Scared? If anyone had the right to be scared, it was Raphael.
Raphael who had endured all of that and was all alone now, with a baby that was created without his consent, with nobody he could put his trust in and too afraid and agitated to move freely in his own home.
Before the burning in his eyes could turn into actual tears, Donatello moved his hand to knock softly against the door. "Raph...? It's me, Donnie." He called, not too loud, just enough that he would be heard. He didn't want to startle his brother any more.
Silence, then a low. "Leave me alone."
"Raph, I made some formula. The baby must be hungry. I'll-..." He lowered his eyes to the floor. "I'll leave it right by the door, okay? I won't come in, I promise. And I put a large pipette in it, too, you can use it to feed the little one."
Something shifted behind the door, but it didn't yet open.
"I took a pipette before..." it sounded almost apologetic and Donnie smiled despite himself.
"That's okay. I got you one that's plastic, it'll be safer, alright? I'll put it down by the door and leave, okay? You can take it when I'm gone." Crouching low, he carefully put the cup down and made to move away when the door actually did crack open.
"Donnie?"
The taller brother stopped, looking back at his sibling's hand moved out to pick up the cup and pipette.
"Yes? Do you want anything else? I can go get you anything you'd like."
A pause, a quiet, awkward sigh, and the door was almost pushed back closed, but not entirely.
"Can you... I mean... you're probably tired and-... uhm... never mind..." Raphael's voice tapered off, sounding almost disappointed with himself.
Donatello blinked at that, still unmoving. "Do you want me to stay a bit? I can just sit here by the door. We can talk. Or I can just sit here until we're tired enough to sleep." Or Raphael, mostly. Donnie was still not moving, too worried he'd startle Raphael into pulling away again, ruining this chance to maybe offer some comfort.
"I don't know... if I want to talk..."
"That's no trouble. You've never been the talkative kind." He joked lightly, glad when the door stayed open, even if it was just a bare crack. It was something.
The taller brother took a slow step forward, making sure his steps were audible. "I'll come sit down with you." He announced, falling into his caretaker role easily enough and remembering to do everything he could to avoid any surprises for his delicate brother.
Carefully, he moved next to the door, sitting down with his shell resting against the wall.
For a few minutes, he was greeted with silence, but he could hear the barest sound of Raphael's even breath and the occasional wet sound of the baby drinking.
Donnie didn't dare speak first, but was rewarded for his patience with his brother's hesitant voice a few moments later.
"Thank you, Donnie. For... for... everything I guess. And..." It was as if Donatello could /hear/ his brother bite his lips, gathering the words for whatever he wanted to say.
"I'm... really sorry... for... you know... I'm sorry for snapping. I didn't mean to. I didn't even thank you all for... for rescuing me. And... and letting me bring back my-... the baby. I'm sorry for yelling at you..." Raphael's voice was quiet, more than contrite and bordering on self-loathing and Donatello shook his head at that.
"Raphie, that's-"
"N- No, wait! I'm not done." He took a shaky breath before continuing. "I didn't mean to tell you. Not yet. Not... not like that. And-.. and especially not Mikey. God, Mikey... I never meant for him to know... he must be-..."
Closing his eyes against the renewing sting there, the taller brother swallowed. "No, Raphie. Listen... I won't lie to you. This, all of this, is hard to swallow. It's hard on Mikey, it's hard on Leo and me, but it's hardest for you. As much as I wish that I never had to know what I know now, it was good to let it out. Because we cannot begin to fix this if we don't know what it is that we're fixing." One hand moved up to rub at annoyingly wet eyes and no matter how much he tried, Donatello couldn't prevent the obvious hitch in his breath.
"I'm sorry, Donnie." There was a frightened edge to Raphael's voice and he forced himself to calm himself.
"Don't, Raph. Don't. It's alright. Listen. We needed to hear it. I will be honest and say that it wasn't the best way to tell us, but none of us is blaming you. Hiding this from us would have ended up eating you from the inside. It would have ended up hurting all of us."
"But I did hurt you now."
Scooting a little closer to the door, the taller brother sighed. "Not as much as it could have. You are trying to cope with all that's happened to you. And exploding like that wasn't you trying to hurt us, but simply you needing to get that off your chest."
A small pause and chocolate-colored eyes closed in returning exhaustion. "You were gone for weeks and weeks. And I want to apologize as well. I... I am really sorry we couldn't find you sooner. I'm sorry we couldn't protect you from that."
"Don't apologize! Please... because you did find me. And you did... rescue me. And, Donnie-" a sudden, tiny and squeaky little burp caused both of them to pause, and despite everything, Donatello felt a light chuckle bubble from his chest.
Much to his delight, a similar noise came from his brother, and a lot of the weight on his chest seemed to lift. "I take it he enjoyed his meal."
"Finished the entire thing off by himself." There was a hint of almost... pride in the older siblings voice, painting a soft smile onto Donatello's face.
"Hey, Raph? How about this. You go get some rest, and the little one too, and I'll get you breakfast tomorrow. Well... breakfast for the baby, since Mikey will want to make you a meal." He smiled, leaning his head back against the wall.
"...Aren't you going to ask me to come out tomorrow?"
"No. If you need some more time on your own, that's fine. As long as you eat and get your rest. I'll tell the other two to not bother you. And you... you tell us when there's anything we can do to help, alright?"
"Thank you Donnie... Can you..." A shaky sigh. "Can you... tell Leo I'm sorry, too?"
"He knows, Raph. He's probably sorry as hell, too. I'm sure he didn't mean to push you like that. I'll tell him first thing tomorrow. Now... do you have everything for the night?"
"Thanks, Donnie. And yeah, we're good... We're good now."
Donnie smiled, breathing in deep, then letting the breath out in a liberating sigh. "Goodnight, Raphie." With that, he pushed himself up off the ground, feeling heavy and exhausted, but much, much better than before.
"Night, Donnie." The door clicked shut quietly, leaving Donatello to return to his own room to catch some much needed sleep.
