A/N: Still, yet, and always, I don't own these people.
Chapter 3
Bella huffed in disgust. Apparently, emerging from the cave had not in any way hastened her hoped-for demise. Well, fine. She was going back in. To sit. And, wait. That…thing…whatever it was…would just have to come back in and get her.
She returned to her previous position, sinking into a realm only slightly less removed from her surrounding reality than she'd been for the last year and a half. This time the movie wasn't of Edward's death, or the opening scene of what she hoped would be her own death. In fact, it wasn't a movie scene at all. Instead, she puzzled over the stranger's appearance. She wondered vaguely about the scene that had greeted her outside her cave. And she continued to feel mildly angry that she was thinking or feeling anything at all.
She almost preferred the movie of Edward's death. But that had been on automatic replay for a long time, while she had sat and pretended she was going to die. Now that she was conscious - or something close to conscious - she rewound the movie a bit further. What she really wanted to do was take it back to the point where they'd been happy together - before the Volturi had entered the picture. But, evidently that wasn't going to happen today, either. At least she was able to recall the last time they'd laughed together...
The flight from Seattle to London's Heathrow airport was long - not as long as the flight to Rome almost nine months previously, when she and Alice had gone to rescue Edward; and, certainly not filled with the sense of desperation that that flight had had. But long, nonetheless. Three hours into the nine-hour flight, Bella felt her colored contacts dissolve for the second time, forcing her to make her way to the restroom once again. As she made her way up the aisle to the restroom, she still felt sloshy from the multiple deer that Carlisle and Edward had made her consume before heading to the airport. Even with all their precautions, she was more than aware of the warm, breathing bodies surrounding her. It was one thing to restrain her blood lust on the occasional practice trip to the small towns near their remote Alaskan house; it was quite another to be trapped in close quarters with the equivalent of a vampire breakfast buffet. Hiding behind her shield helped a bit, as Carlisle and Edward had hoped it would. A little bit.
Only an emergency would have gotten her on that plane. Only an emergency would have caused Carlisle or Edward to have allowed it. An emergency such as receiving a wedding gift from Aro, and a note promising a follow-up visit, a visit that a hysterical Alice insisted would end badly for the Cullens – although she couldn't see what would cause the problem, or the particulars of the outcome. Only that there would be smoking piles of ash in front of the house. Nobody wanted the Volturi coming to Alaska, which meant they were going to the Volturi.
So, there they'd been, on a plane, winging through the night somewhere over the polar icecap on their way to London. And no matter how many times Alice's visions had assured them everything would be fine, that all it took was for them deciding to go to the Volturi - instead of allowing the Volturi to come to them - there was still that little bit of doubt in all their minds as to the outcome. Surely, it would be alright. They'd go, Carlisle and Edward would present her to the Volturi - proving that she'd been turned - they'd all shake hands, and then they'd go home.
Settling in her seat again, Edward had reached for her hand and given it a reassuring squeeze. He didn't relinquish it, which was reassuring. Actually, she hadn't known if it was to reassure her, or to give him a chance to restrain her if temptation became too much; but, either way, she'd been grateful for the contact. The plane was silent and dark, the humans around them slipping one by one into sleep - Carlisle, Edward, and Bella pretending to join them. As she'd sat there with her eyes closed, she'd wondered about the pilots in the front, and thought how being a pilot would be a good career choice for a vampire. Maybe. Then she'd thought about the buffet again. Maybe not.
Three more trips to the bathroom for contacts, and the plane finally began its descent over England. It was none too soon. The sloshing sensation had worn off by the third trip for contacts, and by the fourth trip, the burn was becoming a problem. It took forever for the plane to taxi after landing, and for a moment she'd been afraid something would go wrong and they would be required to stay on the plane, sitting on the tarmac for hours, like she'd seen happen on the news. She could picture it play out – there'd be no one left alive when they finally opened the door- just a bunch of drained corpses, a sated Bella, and a mortified Carlisle and Edward. The fantasy kept her entertained 'til they pulled up to the gate.
After exiting quickly down the ramp, Carlisle and Edward whisked her through the airport to the rental counter. No longer being trapped with the buffet in the plane's cabin helped some, but not as much as she'd hoped. The airport was huge and crowded. Carlisle quickly acquired a car, and soon they were off, away from the airport, heading for the countryside. Edward sat in the back of the car with Bella, and they kept the windows rolled up. As fast as he was driving, it was still about an hour before Carlisle pulled off the road and headed up a small overgrown lane. Soon enough, he pulled to a halt before a small stone home - ancient-looking, but very well kept. They exited the car and Bella looked around in surprise.
"Where are we?" she asked. She hadn't thought about it before, the details of their trip. When Carlisle had said they'd layover briefly in England for her to feed, she'd pictured them lurking in the woods somewhere.
Edward grinned. "This is Carlisle's house."
"Your house?" she asked, turning to Carlisle in surprise. "Like, from when you were human?"
"Just so," he said, smiling at her. "I found it for sale in the middle of the last century, and I bought it and the adjoining farmland. At the time it was for sentimental purposes, but it turned out to be a good choice for my family in the long run."
"How so?" she asked, puzzled. "And what is that awful smell?"
Edward answered her before Carlisle could, "Sheep."
"A farm? You own a farm?" she asked, puzzlement turning to incredulity.
"Well, yes – you see, there isn't much wildlife left in England, and certainly no large populations close enough to London to serve our purposes – we can make quite a dent in the local fauna as a family, you know. So…we own a farm. For emergencies. There's a tenant farmer who runs it; his family has for generations. They live over nearer to the village. The house here is quite private."
"Sheep? You're going to feed me sheep?" She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She was wishing she'd indulged in a few airline passengers while she'd had a chance.
Carlisle looked apologetic. "I'm afraid so, Bella. You can have a cow, if you prefer. We have those also…" His voice trailed off when he saw the look on her face.
Cry. She definitely wanted to cry.
"Or rabbit. There are lots of rabbits about," Edward offered.
"NOT helping things, Edward," she said, holding up her hand to stop him. The burn was becoming unbearable, and the sheep were starting to not sound too bad. "Which does Emmett prefer, sheep or cows? Or are there goats, too, and you just aren't telling me about them because you want them all to yourselves?"
"Oh, well, um, Emmett actually avoids England whenever possible. He and Rose usually fly straight to the mainland…there's a wildlife preserve just outside of Paris…"
"And we couldn't do that, WHY?" Bella screeched. "Did you feel it necessary for me to experience sheep before I go to face the Volturi?" She didn't point out that as a possible last meal, it was NOT what she would have chosen. Carlisle and Edward – and Alice – had all said there was nothing to worry about. She was just nervous, that was all it was. Nerves.
"Bella," Carlisle said, a warning tone creeping into his voice. "It isn't the best of menu choices, but you need to feed, and feed well. And you need to do it in as remote a location as possible. This was our best option. The other choices for hunting were all too…populated…with humans. And you DO need to keep your voice down. We are isolated, but not THAT isolated. You'll give the neighbors nightmares."
Bella sniffed in disdain. "I'd hardly call eating a sheep feeding well." She stalked off in the general direction of the stench. "Do you have a preference for which ones I take? I wouldn't want to take down your best bull, or ram, or whatever the hell it is…"
Edward followed her, catching up in a heartbeat. "It won't be that bad. Look, I'll join you…"
"Oh, don't bother, Edward. No need for you to suffer needlessly," she told him, sarcasm dripping from her voice. She jumped the fence and headed out into the pasture, her eyes picking out the forms of sleeping sheep despite the darkness. With a resigned sigh, she darted across the field, and in less than three seconds had grabbed two of the sleepy creatures, snapping their necks before they even realized they'd been grabbed. The rest of the animals lumbered awake and, with terrified bleating, took off across the field. Bella drained the two unlucky victims quickly, and in spite of the fact that her meal had consisted of what tasted like a wet wool sweater, she had to admit she felt better.
"Where do you want me to bury them?" she asked Carlisle, after she trudged back across the field to them - at human speed this time.
"I'll take care of them," Edward told her. "You go inside and get cleaned up. Our flight leaves in four hours. Are you sure you are full?"
"Quite sure, Edward. All I'll have to do is THINK of the sheep, and I'll lose my appetite on the plane," she reassured him, able to laugh at the experience now that it was over. He'd laughed with her, relieved to see her happy and relaxed again, if only a little bit.
The mental movie stopped there. She couldn't make it repeat. And she didn't want to watch what came next. The flight. The visit. The death scene. And she didn't want to think about her own death scene that might be playing out right now. This time, instead of a memory being on a loop in her head, it was her attempts to avoid the memories that filled her mind.
It was still a vicious loop.
And it was a loop that was once again broken by the rattle of sliding gravel on her cave's doorstep.
* * *
"This mission is cancelled," Jasper said flatly.
THAT got an emotional response from Alice. She flipped out of Carlisle's arms and landed on her feet on the deck of the boat. "NO!" she shouted, backing it up with a fairly big dose of fear for Jasper's benefit.
"Jasper…" Carlisle began.
"No, Carlisle," Jasper said, his voice hard. "We're clearly under attack here. Whatever that woman…did…we don't know WHAT it was, we don't know if we're in for more – for the love of God, Alice didn't even SEE that coming. And you want me to leave? Leave you one fighter short? Are you out of your mind?" He was shouting now, not caring what kind of attention he attracted.
"Keep your voice down, dude," Emmett hissed, and lightening quick reached out and slapped Jasper on the back of his head. Jasper glared at him, but said nothing.
"No, Jasper. You HAVE to go get Bella. If you don't go, she's going to die," Alice cried, her fear not abating.
Jasper looked at her, and then looked away. Her plea, which at one time would have had him in the water and on the smugglers boat in a split second, had very little affect on him. It was painful. He WANTED to want to do anything she asked.
On the other hand, it was also freeing in a way. It left him free to make decisions on a more logical level. And, logically, it was clearly more important that he stay here and protect his family. Not that he didn't care for Bella. He did. Bella was their sister; she was family. But, really, he barely knew the girl. He hadn't interacted with her very much at all when she was human, thanks to Edward keeping her away from him like he carried the plague. Which, he supposed, he did. Sort of. And the few months after she'd been changed, she and Edward had all but spent locked in their room, or off alone in the forest around the house, before their doomed trip to Italy. So, while there was some sense of her being family, it really paled in comparison to the ties he had with the rest of the family, or even his tie of a personal nature - though now seemingly severed - to Alice. He was staying.
Alice was still shaking her head and whispering, "No."
"Carlisle," Jasper said, whispering now, shooting a glance at Emmett that said 'happy now?' "Surely, you can see the importance of me staying here. I can't, in good conscience, leave you all unprotected..."
"We're hardly unprotected, brother," Emmett interrupted, insulted. Rosalie hissed softly in agreement. "And the Denalis are right here. We're not defenseless."
Jasper continued to ignore him, looking only at Carlisle.
Carlisle was clearly torn.
"Carlisle, Bella isn't going anywhere. She'll still be there in a week or two. Just 'til we find out what is going on here." He was almost pleading now. Jasper was military, literally born for it. He was a leader, a strategist. But that also worked against him in the present situation, and he knew it. No matter what he thought, or what his opinion was, he knew he would bow to Carlisle's decision. He'd acknowledged Carlisle as coven leader years - no - decades ago. He would obey any decision that Carlisle made.
"No," Alice said again, her eyes glazing over and just as quickly, unglazing. "You have to go now, Jazz. Bella IS in danger. Right now, with you not going, I see us mourning her. You've GOT to go!!"
Jasper's dead heart hurt with her plea, even though the tie that bound them seemed to be gone. Alice was clinging to Esme now, hiding her face in her 'mother's' shoulder. Esme watched Jasper and Carlisle - they ALL watched Jasper and Carlisle, waiting to see what their 'father' would decide.
"Alice, are you SURE?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes," she whispered softly.
Jasper snorted in disbelief. "Are you sure those visions of yours are working right? Because you sure as hell didn't see that woman just now, and look how much damage SHE did!" He was starting to feel anger -anger at the situation and anger at his family. Couldn't they tell they were in danger? An unknown danger? All heads turned to him in shock. Jasper would have NEVER spoken to Alice in that tone of voice. He suddenly realized that they DIDN'T know they were in danger. How could they? As far as they could tell, nothing had happened. As far as they could see, he and Alice were…having a lover's spat of some sort. But now it was sinking in to the rest of them that something was wrong - something more than they realized.
Good, thought Jasper. They NEEDED to understand.
"Well, excuse the hell out me!" Alice snapped back. Emmett's mouth dropped in further shock, and the rest of them turned to look at her. It was, Jasper thought, like looking at a crowd watching a ping pong match in slow motion. "I would have thought that after 60 years, YOU - more than ANYONE - would have understood that my visions are not infallible! Besides, I DID see her!"
"Oh, great," Jasper sneered, his anger starting to find a target that was close. "And you didn't bother to share that with the class?"
"Share WHAT, Jasper? Share WHAT? That I saw you talking with a strange vampire? That she left? That nobody APPEARED hurt?"
"APPEARED being the operative word here!" Both their voices were starting to rise again. "And I would have thought that you would have mentioned seeing ANYONE on this boat!"
"I didn't know the vision was ON this boat until we came down the ladder, and then it was a little bit too late! What else can I do, Jasper? Huh? What else do you want to know? Do you want me to tell you EVERY LITTLE THING I SEE? OOH…Jasper is swimming. Jasper sees a fish. Jasper eats a deer. Jasper walks down the road. Jasper sees a bird…I have to FILTER, Jasper. FILTER, FILTER, FILTER. BELIEVE ME, I'm at LEAST as upset about this as you are!"
Now the family was feeling distinctly puzzled. They had no clue why Jasper and Alice were behaving this way, and Jasper was too far gone in his shock and anger to explain it to them. If he even COULD explain it. All he really knew was that he'd lost his mate. Somehow. Somehow, Alice was no longer his. And it scared him. He HAD to make them understand how bad this was…
"Well, THAT makes me feel better about the whole thing!" he shouted back at her.
"QUIET," Carlisle shouted. They both shut up and turned to him. "Listen…" he said, in a more normal voice.
They all heard the sound of the boat motor starting a few docks over.
Jasper made eye contact with Alice. His anger fizzled out as she stared at him, silently pleading. He looked at the rest of his family, all of whom had the same look in their eyes. They didn't understand what was happening between him and Alice. But they DID understand that 'Operation Rescue Bella' looked about to be cancelled. At HIS insistence. His apparently irrational insistence. For no good reason, as far as they could tell. He groaned in frustration. He looked out toward the sound of the boat warming up. Then he looked back at Carlisle, silently pleading with his leader.
"Jasper," Carlisle said softly. "I don't understand what just happened here, but we can figure it out. Eleazar and I will figure it out." Jasper nodded slowly, acknowledging Carlisle's reminder that they were NOT alone in Alaska. "But Alice's vision…I don't want to lose another child…" He was pleading with the younger man now.
Jasper dropped his eyes. "Yes," he said softly. "Alright." He looked up, staring hard at Carlisle. "But Alice stays here." A sound of protest came from Alice, but Jasper held his hand up to stop her. "No. The family needs you here, Alice. You AND your visions. And apparently…" Jasper choked on what he was saying, "apparently, there is no longer a need for you to accompany me. Stay here, Alice, and help protect our family. I'll go get Bella."
He waited for Carlisle's approval. The older vampire slowly nodded. He didn't understand Jasper's reasoning, but he trusted his decision - especially when there was no protest from Alice.
Alice, for her part, looked considerably happier. Jasper cocked an eyebrow at her in silent question. "I see her now, Jasper," she said quietly, smiling at him. "I see her running on the tundra."
"And me?" he asked, just as quietly. "Do you see me? Do I find her?"
Alice closed her eyes, and Jasper saw her smile falter slightly before reappearing. "Yes," she whispered. Even more quietly, "I see you together."
Jasper nodded in acceptance, wondering why Alice seemed saddened with her statement. "Alright. I'm going." He turned to the rest of his family. He hugged Rosalie quickly, and Esme a bit longer. He shook Emmett's hand, and turned to Carlisle who drew him into a hug. "Be careful," his 'father' whispered.
Last of all, he turned to Alice. They both took a hesitant step towards each other. Jasper grasped her gently by her shoulders and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Be safe," he whispered. "Please."
She nodded, her body shaking with tears she would never be able to shed. "You, too."
"I…" he hesitated, then continued, realizing the words were still true, even if not in the same way they had been half an hour before, "I love you."
"I love you, too," she said softly.
"I will watch over her, Jasper," Carlisle said quietly, putting his arms around Alice and pulling her into a close hug.
Part of Jasper wanted to scream at him, "Like you watched over Edward and Bella?", but he knew that wouldn't be fair. Not at all. Not one bit. Carlisle would always and forever blame himself for what happened in Italy - whatever it was that happened in Italy. And he suddenly realized he DID have to bring Bella back - for all of them, not just Alice.
Jasper nodded again to the rest of his family, then dove over the side of the boat into the water.
