Kinnikinnick: Hello my beloved readers! Otay, so, the girls finally meet up with the guys in a very typical Saiyuki fashion…sort of. Urgh. It's hard to write when I'm supposed to be listening to my Intro to American Politics professor. SHH! I'm WRITING!
Technicolor: I'll take it from here. We don't own Saiyuki, which makes us sad. But we do own some beer, which makes us glad. Ooh, rhyme. Oh, and Miranda proves herself to be an absolute moron. Funny how these things carry over from real life into fiction.
Kinnikinnick: Thanks TC. Oh, and for those of you who care enough, 'Renate' is pronounced Reh-na-tah, not Reh-nate. I don't know why, but in real life she gets mad when people call her the latter. So…yeah. Again, translations are on the bottom.
Chapter 3
Renate cast a worried glance up at the sky. It was growing dark, and streaks of twilight had started to show in the part of the sky that they had their backs to. Miranda was now walking hunched over, a hand clasped over her stomach, which was emitting a loud growling noise.
"Mou… Renate-chan. I'm so hungry," she moaned, sitting down on the ground.
"I am too, but it's not like we can stop and eat. We'll eat when we find a town or when it gets dark," Renate said. She too was beginning to feel some trepidation about being in the forest after dark. Even in the haze of twilight it was starting to get a creepy vibe. She didn't want to be anywhere near it when it was pitch black out.
Miranda sighed and stood up. She knew her friend was right. "I'd feel a little more comfortable if we had some weaponry. Most of the girls who get dropped into these fics have weaponry," she said loudly.
"Are you trying to aggravate the author? Besides, I'm sure some weapons for us will turn up soon. They always do."
"Well, if the author didn't want to be aggravated, why did she make us aware that we are in a fanfic?"
"Good point," Renate grudgingly admitted. She silently vowed to herself that she would strangle whoever was responsible for this fic. The two girls trudged on, both hyper-aware of the growing darkness.
A little over an hour later, just as Miranda was beginning to fight a rising feeling of panic that they were going to have to sleep in this seemingly endless forest, they began to see lights through the trees.
"Oh. Ah!" Miranda said, a grin blossoming on her face. She and Renate began to run towards to light. They burst free of the forest and found themselves on the edge of a fairly small town.
"We're out! We're out of that damn forest!" Miranda said, jumping up and down and hugging Renate.
"Let go of me," Renate said, firmly planting one hand in the middle of Miranda's face and pushing her back. Miranda released her friend and continued jumping up and down.
"Wait…" she said, pausing in her celebration, "We don't have any money."
"Check your backpack. If this author is any good at all, we'll have something."
Both girls swung off their backpacks and began to dig through them. At the very bottom of her bag, Renate found a wallet, with a shiny silver credit card nestled inside.
"Yes! Unlimited credit! Bless you, author!" Miranda said as she snatched the card from Renate.
"Give me that!" Renate said, snatching it back, "You still owe me your soul!"
"Dammit."
The two girls looked around, hoping to find a restaurant or bar of some sort. At the very end of the road, there was a lonely looking pub, with very grimy windows.
"Okay. Let's prioritize. If we don't 'accidentally' bump into the Saiyuki guys soon, the fangirls will eat us alive. So, fangirl logic says that as soon as the guys check into their hotel, they will stop at the pub. Hopefully, this is the only pub in town," Miranda rationalized.
"You just want to drink," Renate said, looking around and squinting in the deepening darkness. "Oh well, good enough logic for me." She was not enjoying being the puppet of some fanfiction author, although Miranda clearly was, despite the fact that she was obviously losing some of her usually-boundless energy. They trooped into the pub and sat down at the bar, where Miranda immediately started spinning on the stool.
"Stop that," Renate said, whacking her over the head.
"Itai!"
"Can I help you ladies?" the bartender asked, looking at them oddly.
"Yes, two beers and a platter of meat buns," Renate said, tossing the credit card on the polished wood.
"Right away."
Renate sighed and put her head down on the bar. She felt exhausted. It had been late at night when they had left their world, although it had been the middle of the day when they arrived here, and now it was nighttime again. Renate wondered if she had some sort of odd jet-lag from traveling to a different dimension. She turned her head over to glance at Miranda, who had taken advantage of her friend's inattentiveness and was again spinning on the stool. Renate didn't bother to say anything this time; she just lifted her foot up and delivered a swift kick to her friend's backside.
"Gah! Stop it!" Miranda clambered back onto the stool just as the bartender set out the drinks.
"Your meat buns should be ready in a minute," he said as he turned away again.
"Sweet," Miranda said, taking a sip of her beer, "Not bad."
"We should probably be keeping an eye out for our Saiyuki boys," Renate muttered after taking a long draught of beer.
"Oh please. Do you really think we have to? Have you ever seen an episode where they spent a quiet evening in a pub?"
Renate could only roll her eyes. Her friend had a point. Those guys couldn't draw more attention to themselves if they burst into town insulting everyone's mothers with a bullhorn.
When the meat buns arrived, Miranda dove in with gusto, and Renate tried to eat without losing a hand. Three platters and four beers later, Miranda was sated and Renate had managed to snag a few crumbs. Now the two sat, nursing their beers and watching the door in the mirror that was mounted above the bar.
"Oi. Nate-chan. What do we do when they arrive? We can't just be like 'Hey, we're fangirls, and we're going to be tagging after you until the author gets tired of writing.'"
"This is a fanfic. I'm sure an opportunity will present itself."
Just then, the door to the pub opened, and in walked four very familiar figures.
"Here we go," Renate muttered.
The four men walked over and sat down at a table. A waitress hurried out from behind the bar.
"What can I get ch'ya?" she asked, her hips cocked coquettishly.
"Cue Gojyo," Miranda said softly, a half-grin on her face. Sure enough, the two girls could hear Gojyo making thinly veiled innuendos.
"And Sanzo," Renate said, shortly before the sound of a paper fan connecting with a skull rent the air.
Both girls shook their heads and grinned as the Sanzo-ikkou followed their normal, predictable method of dinning.
"They're almost done eating. We should get our opportunity any time now," Renate said, glancing up at the mirror again.
"Hey there, pretty lady."
Miranda felt a hand close around her wrist. It spun her around and jerked her off the stool.
"How 'bout you come home with me?"
Renate found herself also being grabbed, although her guy seemed slightly less drunk. Miranda just felt more confused than anything as she watched the drunken man swaying in front of her. And then it hit her.
"Hey, that's right, I'm pretty now!" she said excitedly, looking at Renate. Renate hit herself n the face with her free hand. Ladies and gentlemen… my sidekick, she thought to herself.
"No thanks. Let go," Miranda said. She may have been excited about being attractive, but this guy was just gross.
"Aw, come on," he said, jerking on her arm. Miranda fell forward, and the guy clamped his other arm around her. The guy who had a hold on Renate laughed.
"What about you?" he breathed in Renate's ear. Renate drew back her fist and punched him.
"How's that for an answer?" she asked. The man slumped to the floor. Renate glanced up at her friend.
"I said no!" Miranda said, yanking herself mostly free, although the drunken man retained a grip on her wrist. She stepped back a little ways, then picked up her foot and kicked him under the chin. The man gasped and stumbled backwards, straight into the table at which the Sanzo-ikkou was seated.
"And there's our opportunity," Renate said, although she didn't get to see what happened next. The man on the floor seemed to have regained his senses and he dive tackled her. Renate rolled onto her back and kicked him over her head, sending the man flying across the bar. She kipped up to her feet in time to see the drunken man swaying back towards Miranda, who looked thoroughly irritated. The table at which the Sanzo-ikkou had been sitting was smashed, and all four men were on their feet.
"My food!" Goku wailed.
As the drunken man made another grab for Miranda, who ducked and darted to the left, Gojyo took three large steps, closing the gap between him and the drunk.
"That's no way to treat a lady," he said, grabbing the man by the collar. With a jerk of his wrist, Gojyo sent the man flying.
Renate slid up next to Miranda, who cast her a sideways glance.
"He couldn't come up with anything better than that?" Miranda asked.
"Eh, it's sort of a guy thing. They have to say stuff like that. They think it turns us on," Renate said dryly.
Hakkai caught the drunk man as he was about to hit the wall.
"Normally, I don't approve of violence. However, I will not allow you to treat women like that," he said mildly as he twisted the man's arm up behind his back. There was an audible crackle of breaking bones.
"See, now that's a turn on," Renate said to Miranda, who could only giggle. Both girls turned their heads as they heard the sound of punches landing. They saw Gojyo straddling the other drunk, his clenched fist held high above the now-unconscious man.
"That takes care of that," he said, standing up and turning to face the girls.
"Yes, it does," came a reply from the other side of the room. Hakkai released the man he had been gripping, and the man fell to the floor, also unconscious.
"So," drawled Gojyo, throwing his arms over both of the girls' shoulders, "What are two pretty ladies doing by yourselves in a pub like this?"
"I will not get used to being called that," Miranda said to Renate.
"We're travelers. We just got into town," Renate said, ignoring her friend.
"Really? Where are you staying?" Hakkai asked.
"Uh. We don't know," Miranda replied, looking at Renate. They really hadn't been thinking about their accommodations for the night.
"What are you going to do? Every place in town is booked," Goku said, coming over.
"What? This place is practically dead. How are all the rooms booked?" Renate demanded. Except for the two drunks and a handful of others, she hadn't seen anyone in the town. Goku shrugged.
"Mou… why don't you come to the place where we're staying and see if you can get a room?" Hakkai suggested. The girls looked at each other.
"Uh… sure."
Mou - roughly, it is the equivalent of 'aaah', a kind of despairing moan.
Itai - That hurts/ Ow
Kip/ Kipped - The action of rolling onto your upper back, bringing your legs to your chest, and then kicking them up and out and using the momentum to get you back on your feet. Really cool when it's done in real life.
Kinnikinnick: Anyway, you know the drill. PLEASE! Read and review! Otherwise, I'm going on strike.
Audience: Silence
Kinnikinnick: FINE! I'm leaving. At least my caffeine loves me.
