Sam went to one of the most recent doors. Labeled 2017. It was a closed door but not a locked one. Opening it they found themselves in another hallway this time labeled with mouths.
"What are we looking for?" Cass asked. "We are only three months into the year but there are a lot more doors. How are we going to find something important?"
"We don't need to look through every door," Sam said and left the hallway looking for one door specifically. His.
When they got to the door and opened it, they found two doors. One marked: 2005-2017. The other 1983-2001.
"4 years are missing," Cass said looking at the dates. "Why?"
"The years I went to Stanford. He wouldn't have any memory of me in those four years." Sam stopped and thought. "We need to see what happened in that time." He said and went to find them.
It took a lot of wondering but Cass eventually found them. It was marked: Stanford, in big red letters. Warning signs and chains held the door closed.
"Clearly Dean doesn't even want to remember these," Sam muttered sudden guilt rushing over him that he cause Dean to force himself to forget almost four years of his life.
They began picking locks and Cass tire chains away. Peeling away the barriers layer by layer. Till the door was able to be opened. Pushing it open they found a desolate and destroyed hallway.
Their where death threats and blood on the walls. The four doors that sat in front of them were in horrible condition, barely on the hinges. Bugs and flickering lights filled the space.
"This is disgusting," Cass said as a rat ran over his foot.
Sam gulped and went to the first door. Stepping through it the two found himself on the night Sam left for school.
John following him out cursing his name. But Dean wasn't there. He hadn't remembered that Dean never followed John. They walked past the scene to see Dean on the motel bed with his hands balled in his hair. Tears falling onto the floor. Suddenly John burst into the room and Dean looked away.
"Are you crying!?" John glared at his eldest son.
"N-no s-sir." Dean stumbled out only to be smacked across the face.
"You will never show weakness again! He is dead to us! You understand!?" John had shouted at Dean before grabbing his jacket and leaving probably going to a bar and drinking.
Dean had been left in the room knowing his father wasn't going to be back for quite sometimes openly wept.
"What did I do wrong!?" He wailed. "Why did you have to leave!? I protected you for so long! What am I supposed to do now!?" He cried to no one.
Sam watched his brother, his strong, steadfast brother, break down harder than he had ever seen him do in the past.
Then the scene changed again. Dean was sitting shot-gun and John was telling him about some vamp hunt. But Dean only nodded. Seemingly completely numb. Sam knew it had only been a few days since he left cause when the car stopped at a stop Dean had gotten out and called him.
"Sammy?" He said with a quiet voice. Sam remembered that conversation. It wasn't a great memory for him. At the time its had been awesome but now….not so much.
"What is it, Dean?" He had hissed angrily. "I'm going to class a few moments."
Dean hesitated before tossing a sideways look to John filling up the tank. "Just wanted to make sure you're alright." He had said quietly. Sam remembered that he had to listen closely to what Dean had said. But that had only angered him when it had happened.
"I'm fine Dean! Now don't call me again!" And with that, he remembered hanging up on his brother.
Sam watched as Dean watched the phone with almost a horrified look to his face. Then he had thrown the phone at the wall as hard as he could and went back to the car.
"Even I know that was a dick move," Cass said watching his best friend like this was painful.
"At the time I had been proud. I had no idea it had caused Dean so much pain." Sam said hanging his head.
The time changed again. This time 6 months. By the, newspaper Sam had seen.
John and Dean were at a dinner, looking through the menu. John telling Dean about some hunt and Dean just nodded along. When the waitress came up asking them what they wanted.
John said he wanted the special and when she looked at Dean he pointed to something on the menu for John to read and said it.
Sam and Cass watched as John had a one-sided conversation like it was the most normal thing to not have Dean talk or answer him. John took out his journal with a sigh when Dean went to the bathroom but then the world went blurry till Dean got back.
The journal still open for Dean to see so they could see what John wrote before he quickly put it away and out of Dean's sight. It was a page Sam had never seen before.
"Day 189: Dean still isn't talking." Was all that was written.
"He didn't speak?" Cass asked looking to Sam.
"I don't know. I had heard that when our mom had died he stopped speaking for almost a year...but Dad never said anything about him stopping while I was gone." Sam said shaking his head.
The scene changed.
This time they were at Bobby's. Dean was alone. John out somewhere doing something and it was just Dean working on the Impala in Bobby's garage.
"She's looking good," Bobby said walking up with a beer and handing it to Dean. Dean only shrugged as he took a drink.
"You know your Daddy is worried about you. It's been 8 months since Sam has left you, you have to move on. It will tear you apart if you don't. You need to start talking again." Bobby said encouragingly.
Dean had opened his mouth and Sam sensed the desperation of Dean when he tired but then shut his mouth real fast and shook his head. He handed back the bottle and went back to work on the Impala.
Bobby sighed and left him alone. Only to come back out and hand Dean a photo. It was a photo of them laughing and smiling together.
"Remember he still cares about you. He didn't leave you. He left the life." Was all Bobby said before he walked away again. Sam thought the vision would change again but it stood still as Dean looked at the photo.
A single tear running down his face as he gingerly touched it. His mouth opened again and this time a single word came out almost too quiet for him or Cass to pick up, but it was there nonetheless.
"Sammy."
That's when it changed again. It was Christmas and Dean looked proud of himself. He was outside a dorm building, Sam's dorm building. He was holding a newspaper wrapped gift and was heading into the building but hid when the door swung open.
Younger Sam stepped out with his friends. They gave him shiny wrapping gifts and they said good night as they parted ways.
They watched as Sam went back inside and Dean had followed him. Careful and taught well he followed Sam to the common room where he placed the gifts around the base of the tree. A large grin on his face as he picked one up and unwrapped it. As per the family's tradition of opening one gift prior to the morning. Bobby had insisted that they spent as many Christmas at his house as they could after all.
Dean watched Sam open the gift to a newly minted law book. Sam still had that book actually. Not that he read it often just kept up on his laws so that he could bust them out if need be.
Dean's smile vanished at the sight of the book. An almost scared look came on his brother's face. He looked down at the new print and tossed it in the trash and left.
Sam frowned. He had never known Dean had been there.
"I need to see what in that gift." Sam hissed trying to rewind the memories till he came across Dean in a book store.
Dean never went to the bookstore unless Sam wanted to look for something in which case he would cruise for smart chicks.
But Dean was looking in the reference area. Intently looking at all the titles. Till he found one and smiled. He pulled it out and Sam saw it was his favorite book. Fernando. Dean had often read it to him as a kid but they had lost the book when John had been on one of his hunt binges and made them leave the motel not given them enough time to pack right.
The book had been lost since the.
But here was Dean looking like he just found out the Yellow-eyed demon had been made up and that their mom wasn't dead after all.
He turned the book over and gulped at the price. Cass and Sam looked over his shoulder and saw it was a 15 dollar book. Dean then took out his wallet and fingered the bills coming up about 5 short and that wasn't including tax.
Heavily sighing Dean put the book back only to be stopped by an elderly women.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
Dean hesitated but tried to speak. "I don't have enough money to get my little brother a book for Christmas." He said hanging his head.
"Oh? How old is your brother that he needs that book?" She asked removing the children's book from the self.
"20 ma'am. He goes to Stanford." Dean said with a little pride.
"Law boy right?" She asked with admiration.
"Yes, ma'am." He said nodding.
"Will you be seeing him?" She asked.
"I don't know. Haven't seen him in 11 months." He said looking away.
The women looked sad but changed the subject. "My sons used to love this book. Their very favorite actually. I got it for their kids when they started reading them books at night. It's a good story isn't it?"
Dean nodded. "Yes, ma'am."
"How bout this. You mow my lawn today and I will buy you the book. How does that sound?" She asked and Dean's head shot up with absolute confusion.
"Why?" He asked genuinely confused by this kindness.
"Because no matter how old your brother get he will forever be your little brother. Ain't that right?" She asked and he smiled softly.
"I hope so." he said.
"Then do we have a deal?" She asked with a wink.
"Yes, ma'am!" He said smiling and nodding enthusiastically.
Cass looked at Sam with distaste. "You were a jerk." He said.
Sam slide down the wall as the world shifted to a grayish black and the door from before showed up again.
"I know." He muttered and they left. They looked at the other three doors and sighed heavily.
"We have to go into them," Cass said. He was not happy with Sam right now. Dean had worked for everything and Sam had been the biggest jerk ever. Granted it had been in the past but still. Jerk move.
"I know. I just hope there's something in them to tell us what happened to Dean to make him into what he is now." Sam said.
"I still don't get why this matters. Shouldn't it be more recent than this?" Cass asked.
Sam hesitated. "I honestly don't know if this is what we are looking for. All I know is that our code word was made just before I went to school. As in hours. We were still on good terms then. He must have just blocked it all out. And whoever this Dean is, doesn't know anything about us as the real us. So we have to see the rest and see what changed in Dean to make him this in his own mind."
Cass looked at the next three doors. It would be rough but hopefully better than the first year. Better than what he had just seen his best friend go through.
Hanging his head he sighed and motioned for Sam to lead the way. "Fine. But the moment it's too much we leave."
