TITLE: The Outlaw With a Heart of Gold
CHAPTER: 3, While My Heart Stands Still
Three months gone by since Nora left Nuka World. I still remember that first morning after we'd spent the night together. It's the only thing that keeps me going. Even the clink of caps don't turn me on the way it used to. And my stupid brain won't stop making plans about the two of us. So I walk, and I think, and I wait. Ain't never missed anyone or anything as much as I miss her.
Sun was setting by the time I'd completed my daily ritual of walking the park. Even went out to check on those crazy Hublologists. They're still crazy. Didn't Nora do something for them away's back? She's always doing something for somebody. That's just her way. One night around a campfire she told me the story about those Hublologists. About how there was this guy named L. Ron Hubbard and how he created this religion called Scientology and how after two hundred years these Hublologists only knew his last name, but they made it about hub caps. I know I ain't doing the story justice, but she had me laughing until I just about pissed my pants.
Truth is, that night's starting to fade from my memory. Not what we did...no, I won't forget that for a long, long time. It's the what ifs that I'm missing and never got to understand. The what if she stayed with me. What if she looked at me the next morning, the same way she was staring at me while I ate my fill of her sex and plowed her righteously with my dick. Goddamn, the way she clung to me...
Ain't nothing but a waste of time to torture myself over her. She'll come back or she won't. I know she's busy with a hundred other things more important than old Porter Gage. I did fix up the rooms at the 'mountain. Had a couple of those Pack girls come over and give the place a scrub down. They offered me a blow job and probably anything else I could think of. Shit, my Nora, didn't know anything about, cause she's a lady. I ain't touched another woman since that night. I know it would've been easy and no one the wiser, but I shooed those Pack girls off like a good man would.
So here I am all alone after another night with my arms wrapped around her pillow. Like the love-drunk idiot, I must be a lay there awhile watching the morning sun send fingers of light through the windows and a breeze layered with the scent of mutfruit and grain through the windows. Shit, been through worse pain than this. Got work to do. I downed a beer and munched on a hunk of stale bread while I strapped on my armor. Just as I'm about to punch the elevator button, I heard shouting, then gunfire. Now, someone's hollering my name and folks pointing toward the entrance.
That's when I see it. Way off in the distance toward the visitor center there's a cloud of dust being churned up by I don't know what. A heard of Brahmin? Deathclaws on the hunt? I head back inside to grab the binoculars she left behind and what I see ruins my day and probably many days in the future.
"Cause what I see through those fancy glasses are Minutemen. Lot's of Minutemen and every single one of them's got a rifle on their shoulder glinting in the sun.
Well, fuck me.
Now would be a real nice time for Nora to walk through the goddamn gate. So I'm watching for some sign of her and knowing wishing ain't gonna change the fact those Minutemen are headed our way.
I grabbed my rifle and hit the elevator button. Behind me, a door opened and closed. Something caught in my chest, and my feet stopped moving. The sounds from outside fade away. Shit, everything stopped including my ability to breathe.
"Gage?"
My first thought was she's here. Then because old Gage has been around the park a few times, I knew the likelihood of her jumping into my arms or on my dick were slim to none. And I was right, of course. There she stood exactly as I remembered her 'cept this time she's dressed in a Minuteman uniform and around the crown of her hat is a gold braid. That's right, I remind myself that she's their general.
I had no idea what to say, but I'm thinking this must be her answer to my question how long she'd make those raiders wait for an answer. Then it hit me, is Shank still alive? Before my thoughts got away from me, I wrapped my arms around her.
"Good to see you, girlie."
"Good to see you, too."
Then exactly as I feared she leaned away from me.
"Glad to see you is all, Nora. Didn't mean to get forward with you. I watched her eyes glistening in the early morning light. Outside the sounds of gunfire reached Nuka Town I could hear the sound of the Nukalurks clicking and chattering as they ran for cover.
One of my raiders probably a Disciple—they always was fucking cowards—screamed.
"Nora you know anything about this?" I waved my hand toward Nuka Town
"Gage," she said looking up at me like she was willing me to understand. "I need you to listen."
While she chose her words, I noticed her cheeks go pale and she rubbed her hand over her belly. Her belly? The last time I touched my Nora her stomach was hard and flat. Standing there with the light shining on her she glowed. I know. I know. But goddammit, I'm telling you she glowed.
"Nora? Ain't none of my business. But you okay? I mean are you...?" Shit, I can't even say the words. I shook the idea right outta my head. I can't believe what's right before my eyes. Behind me, the gunfire echoed off the stone walls of the small houses she built for my guys. My Nora is gonna betray me. All the things I taught her and all the plans we made. Fear, cold and sharp sliced through me. It hurts. How can I make it stop? She's guttin' me plain and simple.
"Gage, give me your hand."
She's touching me and in spite of everything my body responds to the soft skin of her hand. She's got the calloused hands of a fighter, yet everything else about her is soft and feminine. When I didn't move, she took my hand and placed it on her belly.
"Yes, I'm pregnant."
The blush that rose into her cheeks and the feeling that shot through me took my strength away and all I could think of was dropping to my knees and telling her how much I loved her and that if I was gonna be a daddy, then that was cool. It's the coolest fucking thing ever and I ain't lying about that. Don't care about who's dying in Nuka Town or why the Minutemen are here. I just want to love this amazing woman. I want to kiss this beautiful belly of hers every morning until I can finally hold our young'n in my arms. Still, of all the questions I should be asking all that comes outta my mouth is who's the father?
I watched her eyes widen, then they go really narrow, and I know that look. She's pissed as hell. I wonder if she's gonna drop me where I stand. 'Cause I know just how fast she can throw that knife she carries on her belt. Behind me, the elevator starts down, and she starts talking to me low and slow. I have to strain to hear her cause the sound of weapons and screaming is drowning out her words. Who's coming up that elevator.
"Gage. Listen to me. We're running out of time."
No, I think. She's wrong. We'll figure this out together. "We got time, baby." How wrong I was. I'd learned a long, long time ago not to trust anyone and now it's all coming back like a gut shot. Am I gonna give it all up just like my parents did or fight for what's mine?
The smell of gunpowder and smoke filled the air inside the room. Then I hear elevator stop and Mason's shouting my name as he charges into the room. So what's my plan? Do I need to have faith in my Nora or start directing my people to defend themselves? And just about the I realize this indecision is tearing me apart I hear Mason shout again. I tore myself away from Nora to watch his head explode in a shower of gore and paint and beads.
Shit just got real fucking serious.
And right about then she took advantage of my hesitation by pressing her knife into my throat and backing me against a window. "Listen to me," she shouted into my face. "You've got a choice. Come with me back to Sanctuary and be a father to our baby or go down with those raiders."
Tears is running down her smooth cheeks and damned if I ain't crying too. "No, there's a third choice." I'm choking on my words because there's all those lives down there that's been depending on me for years and this one young woman with all her courage and eyes I could just drown in and that baby. "There's you and me and that life that's growing inside you. We'll head north, baby. I seen some nice spots up there. Even an old vault. No one is there. We can hide out..."
But I know it while the words come of my mouth. I ain't never gonna work 'cause if the Minutemen didn't come after us, the Brotherhood would. That fellow Deacon, he's in love with her, too. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at her. He ain't hiding nothing behind those silly glasses of his.
"You killed Shank yourself, didn't you?" I asked knowing the answer.
She scrubbed her face with her sleeve before she spoke. "You know I had to."
"You're the only one is this whole fucking Commonwealth with the courage to take him on. You are a wonder." I had to laugh. I had to. Anyway, time for tears and regret was over. Time for wishes and hopes was over. Raiders can't exist in the same space as settlers. Most of 'em are as psycho as they come. Even Mason was as crazy as a radiated ghoul on psycho, but Mason? Goddammit.
Just, Goddammit.
The door flew open with a bang that caught us unaware and here comes Nisha head down like a charging Brahmin. Right then, everything slowed down 'cause right behind her is Preston Garvey and that MacCready fellow. Instead of holding my hands up, like would've been the smart thing to do I put Nora behind me and stood my ground. Below us, I hear the screams of the dying raiders. They really didn't have a chance. I know that. Don't think I don't.
It's the sight of MacCready picking Nisha up by the edge of her helmet tossing her down like a sack of tatos that stops me cold. She snarled at him and tried to get up. Then quick as you please he puts a bullet directly into her face.
There's no going to Sanctuary with my Nora. There's no Nuka World run by Raiders partying by night and raping and pillaging my day. There's nothing but this beautiful girl staring at me, with her clean white teeth, smart as any I've met and the baby she and I made together. Guess this decision was made for me the day I took off from my parent's farm.
"MacCready!" I shouted loud enough to get his attention.
"Made your decision yet?"
"Fuck you. You know what I'm going through here, just like you know there's no way out for me. You can promise me something though. Man to man."
He calmly jacked another round into the chamber of his .308 and nodded. So then it's like we're the only ones in the room. I don't hear Nora warning me, the sound of her tears or the way she's grabbing my arm. The sound of fighting faded away. Preston cranked his laser musket as far as it would go.
Two Minutemen took Nora by the arms and led her out of the room. Good, she and the baby won't be scarred by this.
"Gage. We can work this out. Please don't..."
"I got no other choice, baby. I ain't good enough for you. Nothing but a criminal. But I can make sure that baby gets a better life 'cause I won't be in it. I love you, baby. I'll love you until the day I die." She screamed my name when the door closed on her. Once she was safely out of the room a weird kinda calmness settled into my bones. I'm sorry I made her cry though. I wish maybe she said I love you back. What am I saying? That shit ain't for a man like Porter Gage. Turns a man to mush.
"MacCready, you take care of my Nora. Okay?"
"You have my word, Gage."
And that's all I needed to hear. I took a deep breath, took a long look at what was left of Nisha and Mason. It's been a good run, I thought to myself.
"Hey, Preston...MacCready. I'm gonna use this elevator to go down and fight with my boys. You gotta do what you gotta do. True for all of us, I reckon."
Below me were bodies of dead or dying Raiders. The pond was so choked with blood even the Mirelurk wouldn't go back in. I noticed Maggie's blond hair floating in the scummy water. So she's gone, too. William's probably right there beside her.
Gonna go help my guys now. They always did need someone to tell them which fucking end was up. I punched the elevator button with the butt of my rifle. It's gonna be a real pretty day, I think just as MacCready's bullet enters my chest. It goes deep, and I wonder why he didn't just shoot me in the head. Ain't like him to miss. Then I go tumbling through the sunlight slanting sideways in a pretty kind of way through the buildings. It all stops a second later.
Maybe I did always want a boy to call my own. I'd raise him good, too. Wonder if she'll name him after his dad? Porter Gage is a fine name. But even that regret fades away. I feel my last breath get knocked out of my body and everything goes dark.
For the first time in my life, I'm at peace. Wonder how long it'll last?
