"Gima talking"

Grima thinking

"Elise talking to grima."

Hey guys sorry, it took me a while to update. Just wanted to say that I love Fire emblem fates and its characters. That being said the story is..how do you put it...oh right just terrible. So just so you know I like the game!

With that being said let this elaborate shit post with a plot begin.

Azura took Elise to an alleyway and started questioning her there.

"Who are?" She asked.

Elise stared at her blankly.

"Grima! What do we do!?"

"Why don't you just tell her your name?"

"Because there is already another Elise! Duh! Plus If I tell her who I am she'll have even more questions! Now think of something useful! And make it sound cool too!"

"Fine, Fine. Just use my name. Your my vessel after all so that means you technically me. Kind of."

"Ehhh I guess it's cool enough."

"You guess! I don't know what exactly you worms think is 'cool' but my name is that which-"

"Strikes fear into the hearts of men blah blah. Calm down I said it was cool. But didn't you say that people killed you? What if we run into one of them."

"Elise. I'm from an outrealm. Even if someone from my realm went looking for me for some reason the chance of them making it here out of the nearly infinite other outrealms is so low it's not even worth considering. I am one hundred percent, absolutely, without a doubt sure that no one from my realm is going to be here."

"Do you plan on giving me an answer or are you just going continue arguing with Grima," Azura said interrupting their thoughts.

Elise recoiled in shock. "WAIT! How do you know about Grima!"

"In the original games, I was such a massive plot device with so little actual character that when we transferred into this shitty parody fanfic I became one with the plot," Azura explained.

Elise stared at her blankly. "...what?"

"She's saying that since she's was basically walking exposition in the source material that she literally merged with the fourth wall."

Elise looked no less confused. "What does any of that mean!"

"Uggg. In basic terms, it means that she knows everything that's going on but most likely isn't going do anything about it."

"Whyyyyyyyy? That doesn't make any sense?"

"Don't overthink it. The writers most certainly didn't."

"Wait! If she knows everything they why did she ask for my name!"

"Because plot," Azura said.

Elise looked like she wanted to rip her hair out and had purple flames surrounding her. "Why do I have a feeling she's gonna say that a lot, and I will never understand It!"

"You are correct. Now, what is your name?" Azura asked again.

Elise's eye twitched. "But you just….Gahhhhhhhh!"

The flames were now exploding from her body and were inches away from Azura's face. However, due to Azura only having two expressions (Unless you're flirting with her.) her poker face stayed strong.

"Like I said don't think about it."

Elise breathed in deeply calming herself down and dispelling the flames.

Then she teleported away to the other side of hoshido.

"Why did you do that?"

"As if I wanna deal with...whatever that is! Now let's see if we can-oomph!"

Walking forward Elise's thought/conversation had been interrupted bumping into someone.

Elise looked up to find that she had bumped into Azura!

"HOW?!" Elise screamed.

"You can't escape the plot," Azura said.

Elise fell to her knees in defeat.

Azura kneeled down a patted her on the back. "There there. To be honest I don't actually need your name. I just needed to waste time so we could skip to the part were Nohr and Hoshido fight."

Elise bolted up. "What?! How much time has passed!"

"I don't know. The author forgot how much time passed between the assassination and corrin's choice. Anyway, I need to get to the fight so bye." And with that Azura vanished with a pop.

Elise stared at the empty space where Azura stood with a baffled look on her face.

Then she proceeded to curl up in a ball and lay silently on the floor.

She stayed like this for half an hour until Grima decided to say something.

"So are you gonna move or...what?"

Elise was silent her eyes wide open as she stared at nothing. Contemplating her existence.

"Well, she's broken. Guess I'll just take over your body now. You fine with that?"

Elise stayed silent.

"I'll take that as a yes then."

And with that Grima took control of Elise's body his power rushing through him.

Elise's hair rose under the hood and she was surrounded by purple flames.

"Yes, now I- What the fluff?! Why do I sound like Cream the rabbit?! And did I just say fluff?"

It was quite normal for Grima to alter the voice of his vessel. But for some reason instead of making Elise's voice deeper and more intimidating, it instead made it a higher pitch.

Perhaps Grima's magic saw Elise and decided that making her intimidating was futile.

Either way, it made Grima absolutely furious.

"How the hifl am I supposed to force those worms under my heel if I sound like a pedophiles wet dream! And why can't I curse!"

Deciding he needed to calm down he did what he normally did to relax his nerves.

30 minutes later.

So after setting several people on fire Grima teleported to the battleground where Nohr and Hoshido were currently facing off against each other.

"Corrin come back to us! We are your true family." Xander said holding out his hand.

"Ok first of all that makes no sense. And Second, your father kidnapped her and has tried to kill her twice! Why on earth would she go back to you." Mikoto said.

Corrin put their hand on their chin. "Hmmm, she is right. And she is my mother."

"We have cookies." Said past Elise.

Corrin gasped. "Chocolate chip?!"

"Corrin they tried to kill you!" Hinoka yelled at her idiot sister.

Corrin looked at her teary-eyed. "But-But Chocolate chip."

Suddenly Takumi realized something. "Hey, mom you still have that spell that makes it so they can't attack us active right?"

"Yes. Why." Mikoto asked not seeing where this was going.

"Well, then why don't we just kill them?" Takumi asked.

"Shit." Said the entire Nohrian army except for past Elise.

"Poop." Said Grima still unable to curse.

The Hosiden army pulled out their weapons and charged at the Nohrians.

"Poop. I have to something. If the entire Nohrian army fall's I'll have to listen to Elise's endless whining."

Thinking quick just before the Hosidens reached the Nohriens Grima raised a wall of spikes between the two.

"What is the meaning of this!" Ryoma shouted. "Mother I thought you spell would have kept the Nohreins from attacking."

"It is," Mikoto said. "I don't think that was nohrian magic."

"Maybe the person floating in mid-air did it," Corrin said pointing at Grima.

Everyone looked up to see Grima floating above them. Their left hand covered in black magical energy.

"It's them!" Ryoma said recognizing them from the plaza.

Grima lowered the spikes back into the ground and floated down in between the two sides.

"Xander who is that?" Past Elise asked her brother. "They feel familiar but at the same time..not."

"I don't know. But I get the same feeling and they appear to be helping us." Xander said not looking away from the fell loli.

"Behold you insolent worms. I am wings of despair. I am the breath of ruin. I am the Fell Dragon Grima!"

….

Meanwhile in the world of awakening.

Robin was with Miriel performing a test on traveling through realms when suddenly.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Loud laughter was heard all over the world.

"What was that!?" Robin asked.

"If I had to guess a large group of people must have laughed so hard that it broke through the dimensional barrier." Miriel respond

Back in the world of fates.

Every soldier was on the ground laughing.

Anyone on a mount had fallen off and all the royals(Except for Corrin and Xander who don't understand the concept of Takumi who refused to laugh in front of Nohrian scum.) were on the ground in hysterics at the sight of a small voice with the cutest voice imaginable proclaim that she was a god.

"O my God. O my god. Do it again. Haha!" Cried, Past Elise.

"That was almost as cute as when corrin tried to eat her own arm" Camilla cooed.

"That was adorable." Sakura giggled.

"This is the most humorous thing I've seen since Takumi said he was a reasonable person." Ryoma laughed.

"No, it's funnier than that. This is as funny as the time Takumi said he was the smartest royal!." Hinoka said.

Grima looked around at all the people laughing at him and was….embarrassed?

"H-Hey cut it out!" Cried the fell dragon as tears went down their cheeks making them even more confused and scared.

You see over the countless years Grima had endured countless pains but never had he experienced the pain like a fourteen-year-old girls hormones and emotions. Both of which were being amplified by his magic.

"This was a mistake!"

Not knowing how to deal with this situation the crying fell dragon just decided to do what any child would do when things don't go there way.

Throw a temper tantrum.

"I SAID STOP IT!"

The purple flames exploded from the sobbing Fell loli body making a geyser of tacky looking fire. He/she then proceeded to throw flames all over the place absolutely decimating both armies.

After a few hundred people had been incinerated the two crown princes called out to them.

"Hey, that's enough! We're sorry for laughing!" Ryoma called out used to dealing with temper tantrums seeing as he has Takumi as a brother.

"Stop," Xander called out not used to having to deal with temper tantrums because Camella did it for him.

None of this work as Grima continued to cry and released more fireballs.

Corrin who just remembered she existed and walked up to Grima.

She stepped right through the geyser of flames completely unharmed thanks to her nifty Plot Armor.

She hugged the flaming….girl? Dragon? Thing?

"Hey there. It's ok. I didn't get what was so funny." Corrin said patting Grima on the head.

Despite themselves, this actually worked a little.

"They laughed at me! Those stupid poop faces laughed at me! The fell dragon!"

Corrin hushed them and hugged the emotionally confused fell loli. "I know. I know. Look no one's laughing anymore."

This calmed down more the geyser of flames shank a little.

"And-And I'm trapped in this stupid body! And I'm feeling all these stupid feelings and and-"

"It's ok Camilla said that's called puberty. That confused me too." Corrin said ignorant to what they actually meant.

After about a minute Grima fully calmed down and the flames dissipated and the fell loli fully gave into the hug.

All the royals and all the soldiers(the ones that were still alive that is.) were treated to the sight of the idiot dragon (Not that they knew that) hugging the loli dragon.

"Aww." Camilla and past Elise cooed.

"Why are you awwing?! She killed like half our army?!" Leo pointed out.

"Yeah, but those are nameless grunts. No one cares about nameless grunts." Camilla countered.

"Well," Xander said. "If the little girl is done throwing her childish tantrum let us get back to business."

Suddenly Grima felt himself being pushed back into the passenger seat of Elise's body and Elise took back control.

Elise's face darkened and the flames returned. "Little...Girl? Childish!?"

"Dammit, Xander." Leo sighed.

Elise charged over at Xander and got right up in his face.

"Elise! Your back. Finally. Please never subject me to the tournament that is your body ever again."

"Hey! You know what fine. Now let me give Xander a piece of my mind!"

"No objection. Go get him, sister."

"First I am an ADULT! Second I don't want to YOU call ANYONE childish when your the one who looks at our father as he kicks puppies and eats orphans and says hmm that's fine no issues here!"

Xander glared at her. "Are you trying to say my father is evil?"

In the face of this stupidity, the flames surrounding Elise grew bigger. "No I'm trying to say that he's the nicest man on earth- OF COURSE HE'S EVIL YOU IDIOT! YOU ARE THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT TO THE FIRE EMBLEM FRANCHISE SINCE TOKYO MIRAGE SESSIONS AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

Xander glared at her even harder. "I have a feeling you have some sort of issue with and my father."

Everyone stared at Xander in just pure shock at his stupidity.

"Is this..really the crown prince of Nohr?" Ryoma asked.

"I can see why Corrin is the way she is if this is who she had teaching her," Hinko added.

"Maybe lack of land is not the only reason Nohr is in ruin," Leo said facepalming.

Elise on the other hand surprisingly cooled off. The flames disappearing from her body as she walked away from Xander.

"Nope." She said. "I'm done. I can not deal with anymore of...this today! Queen Mikoto is safe. The protection spell is still up! Nohr can't invade. I'm done.

She turned to Hoshido. "And you guys don't attack Nohr or I'll kill you...or something I don't know."

Then she looked at Corrin. "And if you guys are going to fight over her the none of you can have her!"

The Elise grabbed Corrin and Teleported away. Leaving two very confused armies.

"I don't know what just happened but can we all agree to blame Takumi," Hinoka said.

"Agreed." Said everyone but Takumi.

Meanwhile in some random forest.

Elise and Corrin warped into the forest and Elise collapsed onto Corrin's lap more emotionally exhausted than physically.

"Was I just kidnapped?" Corrin asked.

"Yeah but don't worry about it."

"Ok."

Authors notes

Hey guys sorry, it took so long! I just want to say thank you for all the positive reviews it makes me really happy! But also don't be afraid to be critical I can take it.

Anyway thanks for reading and please review. Bye!