A/N: Okay, you ask, I provide.
I'm going to turn this into a series. How long of one, I don't know yet. Unlike my other stories (yep, stories, I've got more Demily coming your way soon…) I haven't planned this one out, I'm just writing whatever comes to me as I go along, hence how long this chapter is… I got into it hahaha
The uproar about where I left it! I was going to leave it on the same sentence this time, but I couldn't be that cruel! (Another reason why this is longer!)
This one's more from Emily's point of view, because I wanted to explore her internal monologue the same way I've delved into Derek's, plus I didn't want this to be solely through Derek's eyes. Bold is still memories, italics are still thoughts.
Anyway, I'll stop talking now! Enjoy :)
Emily would be lying if she said hadn't been avoiding having this conversation. All week she'd been making them breakfast before retreating to work, and once she got home at night she cooked dinner; put on a movie, and just enjoyed spending time with them. By them; she of course meant Derek and Penelope, but again, she'd be lying if she said she was enjoying spending time with both of them equally.
She missed him. There. She'd finally admitted it to herself. She missed seeing him everyday; missed their flirty banter, the way she could walk into any situation knowing he was right behind her, that he had her back. But most of all she missed just being around him, how easy it all was. She didn't have to make an effort around him, she could just be herself.
She loved London; her new apartment, her new job, her new lease on life. She no longer felt like she was drowning, fighting against the current of monsters and skeletons. She'd have laughed out loud at you if you'd told her before the whole Doyle fiasco that one day she'd willingly be in a paperwork-heavy job… and loving every minute of it.
The only downside was the loneliness. She'd get through the work day fine – like she said, she loved it – but when she got home; after she'd stripped out of her clothes and washed away the day, when she was curled up on her couch with a meal for one, and thoughts of her family racing through her mind, she felt truly alone.
How big was Henry now? Was he getting as good at soccer as she knew JJ was secretly hoping he would? How was JJ adjusting to married life? Had Will asked her about having another baby? Was Hotch on the verge of asking Beth to marry him? And for that matter, did Rossi have wife number four lined up yet? Who was playing chess with Reid after cases now? Had Garcia accepted her leaving yet? What was the situation with her and Kevin now? Or was Derek – her 'chocolate thunder', she always smirked to herself – the only man in her life currently? And Derek… God the amount of questions surrounding him was pathetic.
Does he miss me as much as I miss him?
Does he still work out on Sundays, or has he stopped, like I have, because it's just not the same?
Does he think about me all the time, the way I think about him?
Does he think about that night every night in bed?
Does he still wake up every morning smiling, and then feel the disappointment at the emptiness of the bed?
Is he as completely in love with me as I am with him?
Again, she'd be lying if she denied those particular feelings. Seriously, she'd been denying them for years and she'd gotten pretty good at accepting that nothing would ever happen. But then it did. And that's when everything had gotten complicated.
'What if I asked you to stay?'
'Derek, I…'
'I know what you just said, but what if I asked you to stay?' and just like that he kissed her. It was like everything had fallen into place for her, so she couldn't say that she hesitated. It was all in or nothing, so she went all in. She hardly had time to get her head around the fact that Derek Morgan was kissing her before they were in his room, on his bed. How they got upstairs she couldn't tell you, but what she could is that that night was the best night of her life.
They were both right there, in that moment. They made love, more than once. And that's exactly what it was from the first time, making love, not just sex. She was proud to say that neither of them were drunk, that she didn't feel like it was moving too fast. That it wasn't a mistake.
She was in her right mind. She could tell you everything that happened. All of it; every touch, every sensation, every word whispered in English or screamed in profanities. She could tell you that he had more tattoos than she'd originally thought; that he took control in the bedroom but that she saw the sparkle in his eyes when she stole it for herself, and that he really was as amazing in the bedroom as Penelope had always guessed he was.
She woke up in the morning with her head on his chest, her arm slung over his toned stomach, her finger tips curled into his side. She could feel his arms around her, a little tighter than they had been when they were sleeping, and from that gesture alone she knew he didn't want to let her go.
Over breakfast he voiced exactly what she knew had been running through his mind all morning.
'You're still going, aren't you?'
When she looked up; it took her a minute to come up with a response, but from the look in his eyes she knew that her face – or most likely, her eyes – had given away her intentions. He was standing there, just in his boxers, a cup of coffee in one hand, and an utter look of devastation on his face. He moved across the room and sat opposite her at the table.
'I… I can't do the job anymore Derek' she shifted on her seat slightly, suddenly hyper-aware that she was only in his shirt from the night before and her panties, and forced herself to meet his eyes.
'Then quit. But don't leave the country, Em. Don't go to England.'
'I need to get out of DC Derek. All I think about on these streets now is how unsafe I felt. I still catch myself looking over my shoulder… I don't want to feel scared anymore.' She visibly cringed and began to pick her nails at how weak she sounded.
He leaned across the table and stilled her hands; interlocking their fingers.
'Then leave DC. I hear Detroit's beautiful in the spring' he smiled that crooked smile; his eyes twinkling at the reference.
She chuckled slightly and squeezed his hands, her eyebrows furrowing in guilt as she replied 'You know I have to go'
'I know Em, but to London?'
'Derek, I-'
'You know, I googled it while you were in the bathroom. DC to London is 3193 miles. 3193 miles Em! Do you really want to be that far away from your family?'
Emily didn't really have a reply for that.
'You want out of DC? Fine. You want out of the state? Fine. Move to Pennsylvania. That's 210 miles.'
'Yeah, but Derek, I have a job in London. I don't have one in Pennsylvania.'
'I know that.' He nodded, before leaning over the table trying to ensure she had to keep eye contact. 'I also know you have me here. I'm not in London' his eyes were pleading now. 'Stay Em, please.'
'I'm sorry Derek, but I need to go.'
But obviously, she had in fact moved to London. She'd left with the possibility of a perfect night turning into something more hanging in the air. So when he asked that particular question, it took her a minute to respond, or even think.
'Can I talk to you about something?'
She shook her head to clear the flashbacks, the doubts and the questions, downed her wine and turned to face him. 'Sure, you can talk to me about anything.'
'I know I can… but can we talk about us?' She could see the nervousness and hope swirling in his eyes; his leg had begun to shake as he tapped his heel repeatedly on the floor, and… stop profiling him! She reigned herself in.
'What's there to talk about? I left even after you asked me to stay; I'm surprised you're even talking to me at all.' That's it; put your defences up. Nice Emily, real nice.
He ignored her attempts at deflecting the subject. 'Obviously I'm talking to you; you're my best friend… even though you still left. And yes I should probably be upset about that, or even offended…but the truth is I don't get mad at you' he met her eyes again 'all I do is miss you.'
She watched him attempt to gather together what he wanted to say, and braced herself for him to be truthful with her. Now's the time. Go all in. Tell him what you're feeling. She prompted herself similarly.
'I miss being at work with you everyday. And shit, it's only been two months… But to be honest I could get over that if you were at least nearby! …I miss our workouts on Sundays and just hanging out with you…' He let out an audibly shaky breath whilst still looking down at his hands, and took a deep breath before fully turning to face her and meet her eyes. 'Look, I came here to tell you something. What I should've told you years ago. What I fought against telling you again and again that night, and what I should've said that day at the airport, to get you to stay.' He took hold of her hands, and Emily felt her heart drop to her stomach. Please say what I hope you're going to… tell me I'm not alone in this…
'Em' he spoke in half a whisper, half a chuckle as he pushed a stray escapee curl behind her ear 'I'm completely in love with you'.
Just like that Emily's world stopped. Inwardly she chuckled, when did my life become some cheesy TV drama that hinges on being told that 'he loves me'?
He'd actually said it. He might as well have answered all the questions she'd been having about him in one go. Because he's just said that he's as completely in love with me as I am with him; so he must be missing me. He must think about me all the time, the way I think about him. He must think about that night every night in bed, and he must still wake up every morning smiling, and then feel the disappointment at the emptiness of the bed; because if he didn't, he wouldn't be here, fighting for her. For them.
'I love you too' she whispered, maybe more to herself than to him because he continued with whatever speech he had planned out in his head.
'And I know you're probably thinking how this is a bad idea, because we're best friends, and you don't want to lose that relationship; and Em, I don't either, but I can't keep pretending to myself and to you that I just miss you as a friend because I don't, okay? I miss you. All of you. I want to tell people I'm with Emily Prentiss. Yeah, that's right Emily Prentiss. And yeah, I know they'll all say you're way out of my league, and it's true, but I don't care; I need you. I wanna wake up next to you every day, and make love to you every night, and tell you you're beautiful all the time because you deserve to hear it, to believe it's true.' He used his thumb to brush a tear from her cheek. 'I want to be with you Emily, and I don't care how we do it. I'll move here if I have to, but I can't be away from you anymore.'
Silence hung in the air, thick as the sexual tension between them. He wiped a couple more tears away and kept looking deep into her eyes, for any sign he could get.
'Em say something please'
'I already did' she laughed while wiping any evidence of tears from her eyes, a grin spreading on her face. 'I said' she leaned in close to him 'I love you too, Derek Morgan' and with that, she captured his lips for the kiss she'd been craving since she picked him up from the airport.
A/N: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where I'm leaving it for now.
I know I'm mean… but this is way longer than I usually write so forgive me?
I'd really appreciate your thoughts, plus I always love to hear what people think, so as always, reviews are very much welcome!
