Thank you everyone who reviewed. I have used some of your suggestions, now here it is. How to Annoy Count Volger!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE MASTERPIECE NAMED LEVIATHAN! IT BELONGS TO SCOTT WESTERFELD!
Bovril didn't exceptionally like Count Volger, neither did Deryn but they both had to put up with him for Alek's sake.
Oh but how Bovril loved to annoy him.
20 Ways to Annoy Count Volger
1. Tell him fencing is stupid
2. Replace all his swords with licorice
3. Slap him with a white glove and shout "HOW DARE YOU SIR", then walk away like nothing happened
4. Put a message lizard in his trousers
5. Dye his mustache hot pink
6. Glue his shoes to the floor
7. Talk to him with a very obnoxious German accent
8. Send him scandalous love letters from Dr. Barlow
9. Write "Deryn Sharp is amazing!" on his forehead when he is sleeping
10. Follow him around like paparazzi and when you take pictures shout "Work it! Work it!"
11. Throw paper airplanes at him during his fencing lessons and yell "DIE GODZILLA DIE!"
12. Put oil in his shoes
13. Stroke his mustache and say "My precious..."
14. Tell him Dr. Barlow is in love with Captain Hobbes
15. Tell him Newkirk, Deryn and Alek are lovers
16. Convince him that Klopp, Baeur, Hoffman, Alek and he are a boy band named Clanker 5
17. Tell him Dr. Barlow is pregnant…. With Klopp's baby
18. Shave off his mustache when he is sleeping
19. Tell him Dr. Barlow with marry him on February 30th, 1915
20. Tell him that Deryn is pregnant with Alek's baby
Bovril was pleased with his work. He thought about who would be his next victim.
Then an excellent person came to mind.
It would be the one and only Dr. Nora Darwin Barlow.
A/N: Please review if you have any suggestions for how to annoy a boffin!
