Hello, world. I've been absent, I know. But here you go. There'll be one or two more chapters before this story ends.

Enjoy.


CHAPTER 3

He slips into her room at 3AM, thinking that it's best she doesn't even know he's been here.

His shoes echo in the small hospital room, and the only thing illuminating the darkness is the heart monitor that beeps a steady rise and fall of the green line.

Castle inhales deeply and almost gags with the smell of hospital. He doesn't like it, never has actually, but ever since Kate got shot, hospitals mean defeat and grief and pain and loss to him.

The figure lying on the bed moves a tiny bit, but it's enough for Castle to startle and let out a loud gasp. He holds his breath for ten seconds, until he's convinced Kate's still deeply under and likely not going to wake up and see him standing there like a fool.

When he starts breathing again, he moves silently to the edge of her hospital bed.

He knows that Kate is going to be just fine, but he really wonders how many lives she has left before she runs out of luck. It makes him tear up, just knowing the fact that she's not immortal, that someday her life is going to end, no matter what. And he thinks she won't get any more luck in these frustratingly frequent life-threatening situations, so it basically sucks for him, that she doesn't love him back. That she could never care about him nearly as much as he does about her. That she doesn't know how he thinks she's amazing, but hates her a little because she lied about the most important thing to him.

Someday she'll run out of luck and actually die and he'll be left with an emptiness inside him, a great deal of it just from knowing that she has never loved him.

Castle sits down in the worn hospital chair, uncomfortably rearranging himself until he's able to take Kate's hand in his and rest his head on their linked fingers.

His mouth presses against the skin between Kate's thumb and pointer finger, his lips caressing the warmth of the woman that he loves.

"Kate… I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry, Kate," he gets out before he's silently crying into the bed sheet beside Kate's shoulder.

He doesn't even remember when he falls asleep, just knows that the darkness swallows him without his consent.


It's still early when Kate wakes up. She can tell by the languid sunrays that stream into the room through the window.

She remembers what happened, though it takes her a little time. And then, just as she's about to cry about her unfortunate life, she hears a snore somewhere next to her chest.

As her eyes struggle to stay open, she recognizes the figure laying over her arm. It's Castle; well, Castle's head, but it's him, and she can't believe it.

Her heart stutters a bit in surprise and joy, but then she sees his tired face and she instantly feels bad again.

She doesn't know why he would come visit her, when he's been so distant for so long.

Kate moves her arm slowly from beneath Castle's head, and her fingers slowly touch his shoulder. She sighs at the feeling of the man she loves, the man that has brought love and joy into her life and a sense of living once again.

Her shaking fingers slowly skate over the muscle to Castle's spine, then skim upwards to the nape of his neck and nails catch in short hair as she tears up. She has missed him and being able to touch him like this means more to her than he'll ever know.

She lets out a soft whimper and it gets stuck in the air when the man by her side stirs and mumbles her name in his sleep.

Before Kate can act on it, Castle lifts up his head just a little bit and looks confused at first, then his eyes meet hers and they're filled with compassion and love instantly.

"Hey, Castle," Kate whispers with a smile, then squeezes his neck lightly. He looks like he's about to kiss her for a moment, but then his eyes cloud over and he moves back to stretch his back as Kate's fingers fall away slowly.

"Are you…" he starts to say, but he never finishes. He looks away from her instead and scrubs a hand down his face. "I should probably go home," he mutters and Kate feels her chest seize.

"Don't," she barely gets out. He stops his path to the door and looks back at her.

"Kate, I can't – I can't stay. I'm sorry."

"Why?" she asks with her eyes full of tears and her mouth chapped together, almost as if something doesn't want her to say a word, but she's determined to fight it, because she needs to know everything.

"What?"

"Why can't you stay? Why did you come, when you've been pulling away for the past couple of weeks? Why are you pulling away?" Castle looks distraught for a moment, then his face blackens with anger as he grits his teeth together.

"That's too many questions, Kate. I suppose I should just lie to you, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" she asks, exasperated, and he frowns.

"You know what. Are we liars now, Kate? Is that what we've come to?"

"Castle-"

"Forget about it. You should rest. I won't bother you anymore. Get well soon," he tells her, and when he says anymore, it feels more like never to Kate. She thinks that's what he really means, too.

Before he can exit the room, she lets out a loud sob and cries out in pain all at once. Her chest sizzles with pain and she can't quite take a proper breath. Her fingers fist in the sheets and her eyelids press together tightly, the pressure in her head increasing until she feels a soft hand beneath her head and the tingly sparks of something non-painful drawing through her blood.

Shhh, shhh, she hears, but she thinks she's just imagining it until her eyes open to Rick Castle's stormy-blue eyes opened above her face and his fingertips travelling across her cheek.

"You'll be okay," he murmurs into her forehead and although she wants to cry, the pleasure from what she guesses is morphine takes over her head and instead of crying, she says the only thing she's spent so long obsessing over.

"Castle… I love you."

And then her eyes slip closed.


I know some of you may find this way of dealing with this story too cheesy or think that Castle should be angrier or something, but think about it, will ya? He's in love with her. Of course he's going to make sure she's fine.

Otherwise, thank you for reading.

Ariela