Bread-and-butterflies fluttered in my stomach; I simply could not contain the joy of her asking me such thing. Stay was the obvious answer, though as much as she stayed here, she would still grow old, and I would still witness such horrible unremarkable thing; though it wouldn't be as horrible and unremarkable, and unrequited had I grown old with her, too.
"Perhaps you could stay..." The words escaped me; I simply could not contain them, could not make much of anything that was going through my already fragmented mind. There was everything in there, from slaying Jabberwocks, to rabbits with waistcoats and being late; though the remarkable thought, and the most frequent one I've had throughout the days after Frabjous day had occurred, was about her being there, with me.
"And what would I accomplish if I decide to do so? What should happen next?"
I smiled widely, really obvious to her that I was delighted, not even closely... no, I was absolutely and completely in love with the idea of her staying. "You could... we could, perhaps? No, too soon. You perhaps could, I don't know... have a tea party every 6 o'clock? With me? Perhaps?"
She was smiling as wide as I was doing so, her eyes transforming into that of the Alice I had met, my Alice with muchness.
"And suppose that I come here every six o'clock, then what?"
I struggled with words, images crashing in with them, images of the possible future that she was supposing with me; though not entirely there with me, as in us, more as in you and me spending the afternoons together... more as in I'll stay here but I won't be with you, and the distance felt incredibly enormous, a monstrosity in between the two of us. It was never going to be us, though a you and me could suffice for now.
"Then I could talk you in to live here. Not with me, entirely, find your place, though you already have one here. Spend mornings and evenings with me, though not entirely with me, no, that'd be silly. Then you could probably, completely, and utterly forget about the upper world, forget about the growing Alice that reminds me that you won't be here forever..."
She looked at me, eyes completely focused on mine now, completely lost, completely wondering into whatever had formed into my little head, completely being my Alice again. "Hatter, you know very well that I'd still grow up and..."
"No 'buts' here, you could always do the same as I; you could always... if you wish, of course, because you just won't do something that you don't want to, not that's not the Alice I know; that is not my Alice; well, if you want, yes, you could possibly anger Time. He is easy to anger, easy to make upset, and it'll stop for you too, and you won't need to grow up, and I just won't lose you."
After finishing the utterly long sentence, I realized that I had referred to her as mine, bad thing to do. Alice was not a trophy to show around and own, Alice wasn't such. Alice was... Alice was who she was because she knew it all too well. She never hesitated, and now I had insulted her; I had questioned who she was and dimmed her as an object, a possession, and I felt awful, terribly awful. I just had to wait to see if she had caught on that after that rambling of words meshed together.
Which she did.
"I take offense that you think you posses me."
Of course I had to further explain to her that I did not thought so; I did not posses who she was, which upset me altogether, because I'd probably could never be her Hatter as she was my Alice.
"Do not feel so. I suppose I need to further expand on the supposition of yours about me possessing you... it's more of me possessing a memory of you... I don't want to lose that memory of you as who you were and who you are right now, because, as much as your muchness had dissipated somewhat behind those eyes of yours, you are still the same Alice as you were before."
She stood up; I prepared myself for her to get away from me as soon as possible, though that never happened. She towered over me, mighty and beautiful tower and she hugged me, clung to me the way I wish I could cling to her.
"Hatter," she said, with that voice of hers that reminded me that I wasn't completely mad; after all, she was mad with me. "Hatter, say what you mean and mean what you say." She cupped my face again, begging for me to just let go of those thoughts and unasked questions once and for all.
