Hi, another letter. From Blaine to Kurt this time.

This does not relate to me story You Give Me The Wings To Fly

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.


24th December 2010.

Dear Kurt,

Happy Christmas Eve.

It's Christmas Eve Kurt! It's Christmas eve, which means tomorrow is Christmas Day! .. Talk about stating the obvious huh Blaine!

I've missed you. I know we text and I know we've just gotten off the phone but it's not the same. I miss seeing your beautiful face, your sparkling eyes and your always perfect hair. I miss your 'bitch please' attitude and how you are always such a Diva.

Remember that song I said I was writing about you? I got stuck. Can you believe it? I didn't know how to put into words how I feel so I am staring at a blank page. It was irritating me so, instead of trying to write my song I started to write another letter to you instead!

If you were here you'd laugh at me. There is paper and sheet music all over the floor. Empty coffee cups and a few cookie packets scattered around. There is still no song. No song. I just can't find the words to explain how much I want you. How much I need you. How, How much I love you.

Things here have been pretty bad since Christmas Break started. Things have happened between me and my parents and I need to talk to someone about and, Kurt, I had a feeling that, scrap that. I know that if I had to tell you something. I know you'd listen so..

Here goes..

Before I continue with my story there's something I think you should know. Until this October my parents thought I was straight.. I came out to them because, because of you. After I met you, I told them.

Since I arrived home on the 19th I have spent the entire time locked in my room. My parents don't understand me. They think I am a disgrace to humanity. The devil in disguise. Can you believe that? They think that I am some sort of devil child because I like men. It's not like this was my choice. I didn't chose this.

I know you're probably confused. I can just picture your face, how your eyebrows will be raised, that glisten of curiosity in your eyes.. I want you to understand, I was, I am proud of who I am, I like who I am. But, I don't know if you no this, my parents are very big politicians. They are very important and influential people. I don't know if you have ever heard of Louise Smith? Clark Addison? Two huge politicians taking the political world by storm..

Those would be my parents. They are always in the public eye and having a gay son would have been so wrong and ruin their runnings. They want to hide me from the world but they know they can't. So instead, they have asked me to put on a front. Pretend to be someone else. In other words they want me to pretend to be straight. I can't believe it. Some people are so shallow minded it's, it's barbaric. They want me to hide who I am.

What caused me to come out to my parents? It's what you are really curious about isn't it? I like to think that I know you..

After I met you, Kurt I came out to my parents. I told them I was Gay. Meeting you, becoming your friend, falling in love with you.. It made me realise that it doesn't matter what people think of me as long as I am content with myself. Seeing you just be you. So proud of who you were, so beautiful and strong. You made me feel so much better within myself. You are so proud of who you are and you gave me the courage I needed to tell the truth to my parents.

I know I was the one telling you to have courage, but you were the one who gave me the courage I needed to live my life. I told my parents. For the first time in my life I wasn't living a lie anymore. I was just, simply living. And I've never felt better in my life. Well, that's a lie. I always feel better when I'm with you but that's besides the point.

I don't know why I was so worried though. I knew how they'd react. They kicked me out, I ended up spending the rest of October half term with Wes and his family. I didn't even care! I would have much preferred to have stayed at Wes's place. That's also another lie. I would have much preferred coming to stay with you and your family. I know I haven't met your family but the thought of seeing you every day.. When we had so much free time and you got to wear the clothes I so rarely get to see you in. We could go out and just be ourselves, leaving Dalton and the rest of the world behind us, just for a few days.

I can just imagine waking up with you after a night of watching Disney Movies. Cuddled up to you as we watch the sun rise..

Why I came home instead of staying at Wes' or David's place this year?

1. It's Christmas and I felt rude imposing myself on them again, even though they think of me as their adopted son.
2. Even though my parents don't accept who I am, and actually hate me even though I am their son. They needed me home for Christmas. They needed to give the press the right impression. Ugh! Why do my parents have to be such big politicians? I hate having the paparazzi outside the door every time I come home from Dalton, my picture being in all the political papers and on all the stupid political websites. They don't want the world to know I'm gay but they can't hide me and I won't let them. I'm not afraid of who I am. So why should I hide it?

My parent's don't accept me, but I don't care. As long as..

As long as you accept me.

As long as you are there..

I don't think I could ever care.

I love the idea that I could tell you all of this one day.

Maybe one day I will. I hope I will get the chance and find the courage to tell you.

I really want to tell you, so that you really, really know me. I don't know how many times I can say this but I want you to know me Kurt. I don't know why I can't tell you but there's something stopping me. I am your friend. Not your boyfriend and I don't want to cross those boundaries and ruin what we have.

So, this letter is going to be placed in an envelope and I will probably write your address on it, but instead of putting it in a letter box, I shall put it in my bottom draw where I have other things that I treasure. Along with the first letter I wrote you. It also contains a picture of us at Dalton and every singe note you have ever written to me in the classes we share. I will treasure them forever.

I miss you.

I want you to miss me.

And love me.

The way I love you.

Forever yours.

Blaine.


There's another one for you readers.

Kaylee xx