Disclaimer: I own neither Bloodborne or The Witcher. This work is merely fanfiction, and as such, earns me no income whatsoever. Please don't sue me, I'm really poor.
Warning! This chapter is for mature readers. Though, if you played any of the Witcher games then you're probably fine. It's not really that big of a deal.
"Careful of the wolfsbane next to rock by the fence, chant Izuld's sixth verse after passing the second tree, drop the enchanted ring in the empty flowerpot…"
Lambert read and performed all that was written on the notes Kiera had given him. It was a detailed account of how to bypass all the spells and traps that she had left behind for her old abode in Midcopse. Though she never even considered moving back there, she still maintained a security around the place. Most likely if there were unexpected events that would force her to hide away again.
Lamber found the list to be a tedious job, though it made it easier than breaking through all those magical security forcefully. In fact, the most trouble he'd had so far was picking the lock to the wooden cabin's lock. After going Keira made absolutely sure that he would follow every detail on the list she gave him, she'd forgotten to give him something so simple as the key to the place.
"Finally," groaned Lambert as the lock clicked open.
He entered the house. Though the house had been empty for years, it was oddly clean. He wondered if sorceresses had enchantments that prevented dust buildup.
"Okay, just one last thing."
He read the final instructions on the paper he'd been holding.
"Stand against the clear wall next to the door, raise both arms high, and I have to…?" he read doubtfully. "And what?! Seriously?!"
The last security measure is apparently some sort of magical full body scan to make sure the person is not some sort of copy-cat, shape-shifting monster, or illusionary double. It also wanted to make sure that nothing dangerous made it past the defenses. So, it wanted Lambert to leave all his weapons, armor, boots and all by the doorway.
Basically, he needed to be as naked as the day he'd been born to get past the final security check.
He was beginning to doubt the seriousness of Keira's list. Some of them seemed pretty nonsensical and wholly embarrassing. Keira had told him that was the point of it, since someone determined to break in to her home would no doubt rather force his way in than perform the necessary actions to bypass them. Of course, she herself had no need to perform them being the one who created the security measures in the first place. The list was more for people that would need to go there on her behalf if she was not able to herself. Only the very real threat of a magical self-destruct option kept Lambert from doing away with the list and brute-force his way in.
Lambert had asked why she couldn't have made a simple magical pass like a card or something that would have made it much easier on him. She answered that such an item could be stolen and used by anyone at all.
He was just glad there was no one around to see him. He had really dodged an arrow there by going here by himself. No doubt Eskel and Geralt would have more things to say about him and his relationship with Keira after seeing him making a fool out of himself.
"Ugh. Fine. Let's just get this over with." He grumbled, but he was just glad that it was fairly simpler than all the other acts he had to do. It was the very last part anyway. There should be no harm in doing it in the privacy of an empty dwelling of his lover.
Or there shouldn't have been…
"What the—?"
Ropes had suddenly slipped out from the ceiling above him and tied the witcher's arms. A few more slithered on the ground and caught his legs. The ropes tightly bound on his limbs as they pulled his body taught.
"My…" a familiar voice echoed in the room. "Such an obedient witcher."
Lambert froze in his futile attempts to struggle against his bindings.
"I must say, I wasn't so sure you would follow it all correctly."
A small candle lit from the center of the dark house. Holding it was a woman with light blond hair. Her face was barely visible from the light of the small candle in her hands, but the pleased smile on it was perfectly obvious.
"Keira…?" said Lambert unsurely.
Yes. Keira Metz.
Sorceress. Member of the Lodge. Former advisor to King Foltest of Temeria. And also… Lambert's lover of some years now.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Well, this is my home," she answered. "Isn't that a silly question to ask?"
"You know what I mean," said Lambert in annoyance.
"So testy," laughed Keira. She came closer to him. The candlelight illuminated her beautifully curved and scantily dressed body. Her fingers traced lightly over his chest. "Feeling a little… exposed, are we?"
"…What are you planning?" said Lambert uneasily. The tips of her nails sent goosebumps up his back. He couldn't help it, but the lower part of his front also went up.
Keira placed down the candle on a table nearby.
She unlaced the back of what her dress. It fell smoothly off of her into the floor.
Lambert gulped at the sight of her.
Her hand reached down and tightly squeezed on his precious sacks.
"Just something I've planned for a while now," she whispered seductively into his ears. "Nothing you wouldn't like." He could feel her bare and warm breasts press against his cold skin. "Well… maybe a few things you wouldn't like."
She pressed her lips against his and rolled their tongues together. Both of them were slightly gasping hot breaths by the time their lips parted.
"…Though I'm sure you might change your mind afterwards."
"Wow."
There was no other words that Lambert could think of that seemed perfectly acceptable for that night.
"That was… really something," he said lamely.
"Found yourself appreciation for some new sense of adventure now?" giggled Keira. She snuggled up partly covered by silk sheets, though she was still completely naked underneath.
"Well, when you explained it to me it wasn't very convincing."
Being a witcher for most of his life, he was familiar yet unaccustomed to being tied up. In a situation like that, it severely limited one's ability to survive. It left him almost completely helpless. Without power. Without control.
It's probably why it felt all the more exhilarating for him.
Remembering the things Keira did to him that night—the things she made him say and do—made him embarrassed once again. Although, he probably wouldn't be so against it every once in a while now… well, maybe on a few occasions.
"Promise you won't tell the guys about this?"
"I won't." Keira kissed him. "The girls, though? Oh, I promised to tell them every detail of it!"
"You little minx!"
They wrestled and rolled around the bed laughing. It didn't take long before they got into a more… traditional part of bed play.
After a rather exhausting but satisfying romp around, beside, and over their bed, Lambert had Keira resting happily in his arm. Their activities left them glistening in sweat and content to just lie there together for the rest of the night.
"So, you had this all planned from the very beginning?" asked Lambert.
"It's been in the back of my mind for quite some time now, yes. Your current quest just gave me the perfect excuse to set it all up. Although, I didn't expect you would take your time getting here."
"Don't blame me," he shrugged. "It's not so easy tracking someone through Velen. I'm a witcher. I hunt monsters, not ladies. Well, maybe Geralt does, but I don't."
"And you're sure you're not?" asked Keira playfully. "I heard the woman to be quite a beauty herself. Perhaps you'd be more interested in her than ugly monsters. I know I would be."
"The only woman I need is right here." Keira gasped as Lambert squeezed her bottom hard. "Besides I already have a sack with her name on it."
"While I appreciate your rather profound fidelity," she giggled. "I do hope you are taking this seriously? This woman is not to be trifled with so easily."
"You're beginning to sound like Geralt," groaned Lambert. "So the woman can fight monsters? Big deal. We fight monsters all the time. Heck, we've even fought the Wild Hunt before. I'm sure we can handle her just fine."
Keira sighed and sat up. "And I'm here to tell you that you can't. This woman is far more than meets the eye. However dangerous the Wild Hunt had been, she's an enigma that may yet prove to be more dangerous."
"Doesn't seem so dangerous to me," he shrugged. "Less monsters, less work for me. Also, means it's better for people, right?"
His lover was oddly silent as she seemed to be lost in thought. She was hiding something from him. There was a little something on her face that was out of place.
Fear.
"Keira?" he reached his hand out to her and it was gone.
"Oh, sorry," she said. "Just thinking about my meetings with the lodge. Things have been getting busy there as of late."
"You sure?" frowned Lambert.
Keira held his jaw and kissed him again. "Positive."
"If you say so," smiled Lambert. Another thought popped into his mind. "Wait. If you had all this planned from the start, then that list you gave me…"
"Fake," she chuckled. "Honestly, that part of the plan was what took us the longest part to make. I had thought for sure you would be too prideful to do them all. Or at least realize long enough to understand that it was completely preposterous. Color me surprised when I saw you hopping like a frog onto my doorsteps."
"Us…?" A cold drench of sweat ran down his back.
"Us," smirked Keira. "Didn't I tell you that I promised the girls I would give them all the details, right? They actually helped in making that list."
"Keira," warned Lambert, "Don't do—"
"I don't really need to do anything though," she cut him off. "They most likely already saw everything by now. See that little device by my front window pointed outside? It's a modified megascope that records rather than projects images in real time."
No wonder Lambert found the list so suspicious. He could already tell which of the girls put some of it down on the list. Ciri most likely did the tamer ones. Triss, no doubt, had him do the complex series of orders. And Yennefer? He could already her laughing at how much of an idiot he had made himself out of.
"My life is over…" he groaned. When that recording made it to the guys…. Well, he'll never hear the end of it. He knew, because if it had been anyone else he would do the same thing.
"Don't be so dramatic," chided Keira. "You can't die from embarrassment. Trust me. Mages have tried that experiment before. All they succeeded in doing was proving that someone's face could be red as an apple."
"I supposed it could be worse," said Lambert tiredly. "That thing could've been pointed inside the house rather than out."
"Yes…" agreed Keira. "Think positive thoughts."
She didn't tell him, but she had another one set up hidden on top of her bookshelf. That one she wanted to keep private. After all, her lover might actually be the first person to die of embarrassment if she let the others see what they did in all their depraved, perverse, immoral, and wickedly fun night. For now, she would be quite content in replaying that memory all to herself in her alone time.
Although… she was curious to know how it would feel to have someone watch them as they did such inexplicable acts. She took a quick peek at her lover who was now soundly sleeping.
Perhaps one step at a time.
Though the room and bed were warm, Lambert couldn't help but shiver in his sleep at that moment.
"Time to get up. We have a long road ahead of us."
Lambert woke to his pants to his face. Not the best way to start the day, though, he wasn't going to complain about it when it was accompanied by the smell of freshly cooked food and the sight of the best bum in all of the Northern Realms.
"What are you grinning for?" asked Keira.
"Just looking forward to a decent meal for once."
"My poor boy." Keira dropped a plateful of eggs, bacon, and sweet bread in front of him. "It must've been horrid eating mostly stale bread on the road."
It wasn't exactly like that. Witchers knew how to brew potions and build bombs, so they still knew a thing or two about cooking an edible meal for themselves. After all, food is important to survival in the harsh road. Still, the food they made wasn't quite the same as what Keira always made for him. And what Eskel made only barely cuts it at what can be considered as "edible."
So maybe he did grow a little spoiled.
"Did I tell you how much I've missed you?" The sizzling bacon on his plate had made his water mouth before he even saw it.
"About six or seven times last night," said Keira in thought. "First time today, though."
So he was spoiled. He didn't care. Not at that moment anyway.
After eating, they both packed what they needed for the rest of their journey. Lambert hadn't stayed long there, but he could already tell he was going to miss that place.
"First inn we see, I'm booking a room immediately," announced Keira. "Last night wasn't nearly enough to satisfy your time away from me."
Okay. Maybe he wouldn't miss it that much.
"Not that I'm complaining, but—"
"You're wondering why I'm coming along with you?" finished Keira. "Well, in truth, I would have gone with you first thing if I could. Been the longest time we've been away from each other since we first met."
"It's only been a few months," said Lambert. Though, he did spend much of that time complaining about it to Geralt and Eskel. Not that he said so directly to them. Also, not that he needed to considering how much they joked about it to him.
Apparently, whatever the woman they were looking for really was, it had gotten the full attention of the Lodge of Sorceresses. Yennefer and Triss had both called for the meeting between all of them. Avallac'h was in attendance as well. It was there that Keira knew of the task given to the three witchers, and being rather attached to one of those witchers, she'd naturally told him of it.
"The nature of this quest has been deemed far too important to be delayed," answered Keira. "Months of research and spellcraft had only served to solidify our theories regarding this woman. The faster she is in our care, the better it is for everyone. I'm not the only sorceress out looking for her. Yen and Triss should be going on the search as well as soon as they are done making sure that nothing else beside her had come through the Conjunction of Spheres."
"Why is it that I find myself doing hero work rather than honest witcher work these days?" he sighed.
"I know you love it," teased Keira. "You pretend to feel how much of a pain it is, but I know how eager you are whenever someone in real need asks for your help."
"What?" scoffed Lambert. "Me? You sure? I'm not that kind."
"Admit it," she insisted. "You moaned and whined about how Geralt needed you on another quest to save the world, but you never once said that you would turn him down. You like being needed. I know you must've enjoyed being together again with them."
"They're practically my brothers!" he defended. "I can't just leave them when they need help. Who knows what would happen to them if they don't have me around?"
"They would be fine." Keira rolled her eyes at him. "You know them. This isn't the first time they had to do something like this on their own. If you had turned them down, they could've gone to ask some other witcher to help them. You aren't the only witchers in this world, you know?"
True enough.
"I'm not just any witcher," said Lambert.
Keira laughed. She trotted her horse near his and slapped his behind.
"That's right," she winked at him. "You're my witcher."
"Not too hard!" Lambert rubbed his still tender ass. The journey on horseback is already going to be rough enough on him as it is. It was most certainly true that last night's fun had definitely left its mark.
"I'll make sure you never forget that."
"Ahahaha-hahaha!"
The laughter of women rang throughout the underground room. They couldn't help themselves as they watched the projection on the stone wall in front of them. Even an elf of the Aen Saevherne could not help but smirk from behind them. After all, even in all his time and knowledge, he had never seen a witcher hop on one foot as he sang an awful rendition of A Dwarf's Supple Arse!
"Ah, that was beautiful." Ciri was teary-eyed as she struggled to stop herself from bursting into another fit of laughter.
"I had no clue he even knew the song!" said Triss, still laughing.
The girls made bets on how far along the list Lambert would get to before he realized he was tricked. None had even considered that he would go through all of it.
Yennefer coughed. "As amusing as this may be, you really have to be on your way, Ciri."
"Oh, please!" begged Ciri. "Please, just one more! The next one is one of mine."
Yennefer waved her hand at the projection on the wall. The image of Lambert shaking his hips to and fro disappeared, much to the disappointment of those who were watching.
"Come now," said Yennefer. "You already said that twice before. Go. Gather your belongings."
Ciri sighed but reluctantly agreed. She left the room to do as she was told.
"Do you have everything you need?" asked Avallac'h as he came up to Triss.
"Yes," she nodded. "I've made some preliminary preparations for our arrival so it shouldn't take us long to have things ready. I'll inform you of the details once I've checked with my sources there."
"Be sure to take care of Ciri," said Yennefer. "She's matured but…"
"I'll be sure to keep an eye on her," reassured Triss. "Though I'm sure there aren't many things she can't handle by herself now. She isn't a child anymore, Yen. You shouldn't worry too much."
Yennefer sighed. "I understand that. Still, I would go as well if I was not needed here."
Though Avallac'h was an elven sage, he had paid a heavy price for the curse lifted from him during the time with the Wild Hunt. He required the help of at least one sorceress to continue with his research. Seeing as Triss was the more familiar of the two with where they would be going, Yennefer had no choice but to stay. At least for the time being.
As soon as their baggage was ready, Ciri opened up a portal. A black tear appeared in the sitting room of Avallac'h's home. The air hummed and vibrated coming from the portal. She finally had enough control over her power that the elf did not mind her opening portals in his own home anymore.
"Try and not to get into too much trouble." Yennefer hugged Ciri.
"No promises," smiled Ciri.
Yennefer took something out from her pocket and handed it to her.
"What's this?" asked Ciri, looking at the item in her palm.
"A megascope crystal," said Yennefer. "I thought you might want to finish watching Lambert make a fool of himself."
"Oh, thank you!" Ciri gave her another quick hug.
Once Ciri and Triss entered the portal, the black tear closed up. Only Avallac'h and Yennefer remained in the room.
"Things will be quieter without them," said the elf.
"Yes," agreed Yennefer.
Without Ciri and Geralt with her, she hadn't really felt quite so alone in such a long time now. Though she knew it to be only temporary, it was still a feeling she did not like.
"A pity you never finished watching the crystal," said Avallac'h.
Yennefer gave a pleased smirk. "Who's to say I would not? The thing about these megascope recordings is... that it's so easy to make copies of them."
At least she had a way to pass the loneliness by watching an entertaining fool humiliate himself.
A/N:
It's really amazing the depth and personality of every character in the Witcher. I'm working on the next chapter, so I hope I can have that out soon. Maybe or maybe not. I'll probably keep going until I hit the inevitable writer's block. I'm still deciding on the path for the current plot and exploring the possibility of another one.
As always, please read and review.
