Chapter 3: Revelations

Five days had passed since Dr. Horner had started working under him and Sheldon had to admit, she was quite adequate as an assistant. She may be even more adequate than Raj, Sheldon mused. He had expected someone who filled her time with foolish conversations and prattle, but this woman seemed to be someone who put science ahead of personal interactions and that actually helped Sheldon relax around her. What he had found her to be was an intelligent, dedicated, and extremely hard-working, scientist. Her knowledge of astrophysics exceeded even that of Raj, and that was saying something. It almost seemed as though they both lost themselves in the science, to the exclusion of everything else. Sheldon found himself becoming quite comfortable working with her. When Dr. Horner did emerge from her personal cocoon, it was to ask very intelligent and probing questions regarding his work. That was quite an ego boost, he had to admit. He had always gloried in the having the chance to show off his superior intellect to others. Still, this woman had proven to be most helpful and more than a bit intelligent. He was beginning to wonder if he could steal Dr. Horner from Raj to become his permanent assistant. While Sheldon thought himself far superior to any other physicist at Cal Tech, or in North America for that matter, he could on occasion, give credit where credit was due. It was true, he had discovered Dr. Nikita Horner was a top notch scientist and he fully intended to take her from Raj. He felt more than entitled to do so. After all, wasn't his work far superior to the dribble that Raj usually worked on? Of course it was. And a dedicated scientist like Dr. Horner deserved to work with the best, and that was him. Now, all he needed to do was come up with a plan to get her away from Raj….

Niki had found working with Dr. Cooper far more palatable than what she expected it to be. The work was intriguing and challenging and the two of them seemed to work well together i.e. they didn't get in each other's way. Sheldon worked in silence for the most part, unless he wanted to give her a suggestion or answer a question she had put to him. It was a very comfortable, almost companionable collaboration. Niki found that when he discovered the answer to some portion of an equation that had been eluding him, or answered a complex question for her, his deep blue eyes lit up and sparkled. Their usual veiled, cool, look would evaporate and it almost seemed like a different person had taken control of his body. It seemed to her that Sheldon Cooper could actually resemble an attractive man when he let down his defenses. This positive side of Sheldon, plus the exciting hypothesis they were developing, allowed Niki to almost forget the easy camaraderie and pleasant work environment she had shared with Dr. Koothrapali. Still, working with Dr. Cooper was completely different from working with Dr. K. Sheldon was far less relaxed, but his work was also far more productive and challenging. The physics were engaging and the hypothesis they were working to prove was both highly advanced and fulfilling, so Niki was not looking forward to the end of this assignment. If only there some way she could leave Raj and keep working for Sheldon….

Later that day, during a break in their work, Sheldon actually broached the question of working together after Raj returned.

"Dr. Horner," he started, "I do believe we have made great progress on this project. It's a pity you will be returning to work for Dr. Koothrappali soon. "I don't suppose you would consider splitting your time between the two of us? I have found your work quite satisfactory." Sheldon gave her one of his most sincere smiles, which Niki had found to be few and far between.

Niki's heart started racing. Dr. Cooper was actually inviting her to work with him, without being coerced into it! She was flattered, and filled with dread. Just how much had Raj told Sheldon about her? Had he told Sheldon the reason why she had spent two years on top of the mountain? She felt she had to tell him, and soon. Dr. Sheldon Cooper liked and admired her work! This was akin to an artist being praised by Raphael or Rembrandt. She had to make sure he knew everything about that period in her life. Think, Niki, think. How am I supposed to answer this without turning Sheldon off of me and reducing my own status? Finally, she turned to him and said in a cool, measure tone, "I'm sure we can work something out between the three of us. I have enjoyed working on this project with you. You have only improved my abilities as a researcher and for that, I thank you. Let me speak to Raj when he gets back and work something out with him."

"Very well," Sheldon responded with a grin, "I will leave all the dirty work up to you."

"I'd hardly call it 'dirty work', Dr. Cooper. I prefer to call it pragmatic protocol."

"Whatever you want to call it, be careful. I wouldn't want to lose Raj's friendship. We have known each other far too long for that." He cautioned her.

"Understood, Dr. Cooper. I will try not to disturb the homeostasis of your friendship." Niki could almost feel Sheldon let go of his tension. She got the feeling that confronting any problem outside of science was very difficult for him, especially if it was a personal problem. Well, she did want to keep working for Sheldon as much, or maybe more, than he wanted her to keep working for him, so she would have to find a way to make that happen. She knew that sooner or later she would have to tell him about what had happened at Keck. But she also realized that this was neither the time nor the place for that sort of conversation. The truth remained, however, that she had to tell Sheldon more about her past before he found out from someone else. She was determined to tell Sheldon in a way that did not jeopardize her position with him. Working with Dr. Coooper was every physicists dream, or at least it was her dream, and she wasn't about to see it end.

Early the next morning, Sheldon greeted Niki with a broad smile. "Great news! Raj is staying another week at Palomar. This gives us enough time to figure something out regarding your work situation."

Niki grinned back at him. "That is good news, but don't you miss your friend?" This puzzled her. Sheldon often spoke of his high regard for Raj. He had told her that their friendship and their working relationship had improved greatly in the last two years. Why this was so, she never asked, figuring it was none of her business. She was just happy the two men closest to her at work were friends.

"Of course I miss him." Sheldon answered her, "But I want to be selfish and keep you to myself for another week as well."

"Well, at least you're honest about it and I'm flattered. But I do have a question to ask you regarding our work here. I've been wondering if we increased the dimensions of the black hole a bit, how much would that affect the space time continuum of our model?"

"It would greatly affect it, you know that very well already. However, that is not what we are looking for here. What we need, my dear Dr., is a theory which encompasses both the quantum theory of radiation and gravity simultaneously. That is the only way we will truly be able to explore further into black holes."

"Good God! The Theory of Everything? Is that really what we are working on here?" she asked incredulously. Only the best and the brightest physicists in the world were working on that particular problem. No one, as yet, had solved this conundrum and here she was, helping a premier physicist with this very thing! This made telling Sheldon about her past even more difficult.

"Ahh, you've figured it out." Sheldon admitted, "I know that sounds a bit ambitious, but who wouldn't love to figure out how to take a stroll down the Einstein-Rosen Bridge and find what waits on the other side? Wouldn't it be amazing to be the first to discover that? Does it lead to certain death or a parallel universe? Fascinating conjecture, isn't it? Of more importance, it could lead to a Nobel Prize. That has always been my goal. Have you determined what your ultimate goal is?"

Niki was about to respond when a song came drifting into the office from out in the hall. Niki froze and turned away quickly. "Whatever is the matter?" Sheldon asked nervously. He had never seen Dr. Horner react in such a fashion to anything and it worried him. Niki was usually concentrated on the work in front of her or smiling at him with that cheeky grin he had come to know so well and to almost expect. This, this was something completely different.

"I'm terribly sorry, Dr. Cooper, do carry on. I am not usually this unprofessional." Niki turned back towards him and he saw that there were tears in her large, grey, eyes.

"No," Sheldon replied, "what is wrong?"

"It was the music, that song, Marry You by Bruno Mars…it was our song. He used to sing it to me."

"Who sang it to you?" Sheldon asked in exasperation. He wanted his calm, cool, assistant back, not this woman with tears running down her face. But then he looked at her pained face and concern replaced annoyance.

"My late husband." Niki wiped the tears from her face and returned to her whiteboard.

Sheldon was not having any of that. For some strange reason, he wanted to comfort her and make the tears disappear. "When did he die?" he asked her in a soft, quiet voice.

"Three years ago next month. " Niki turned back to Sheldon and managed a weak smile, "But that has nothing to do with our work here, does it?"

"Not our work, exactly, but it is important for us to discuss. Listen to me now. I'm sad to say, I lost my spouse as well. I do believe our losses have affected both of us. Do you wish to talk about it?"

Niki's mouth made a perfect O. "When did you lose her?"

"It's been two years now. I can suppose the pain is still with you?"

Niki managed a small smile. "Sometimes. I can be fine for the longest time and then something will trigger it, like that song."

"We had a song," Sheldon admitted, "and I used to sing it to Amy. It was Darlin' by the Beach Boys. I still can't listen to that song without breaking down."

"Like I just did?"

"Exactly." Sheldon now had tears in his own eyes, which he tried to hide from Niki.

"Please don't tell Raj or Leonard about this," Sheldon begged, "They think that I am fine now, they need to think I'm fine now."

"Isn't it strange how the world keeps demanding we heal and heal quickly, so we don't upset our friends and family?" Niki pondered, "Yet how on earth do you do that?" she asked of him, giving up stoicism as tears streamed down her face.

"If I knew the answer to that one, I would be an even greater genius than I already am. It seems that everyone is kind and thoughtful for the first year or so and then they start subtly demanding that we 'move on and get over it'. As you said, how does one do that?"

"Maybe, "she stated as she walked toward him and put a hand on his shoulder, "you're a genius because you have figured out that we cannot heal on anyone's time line but our own."

"Perhaps, but maybe that is a lesson you can only learn through personal experience, painful though it may be."

"Unfortunately, I think you are right." Niki agreed, picked up her erasable marker, and turned back to her work.

"Say, I have an idea!" Sheldon exclaimed, his face brightening, "I think we should go somewhere, just the two of us, and share our stories over dinner. Perhaps that will help us both heal somewhat, or at least feel better."

Niki looked up with amazement at him. The reserved, pompous, physicist had been completely replaced by a caring, feeling, human being. This was good. Niki told herself that this dinner provided the perfect atmosphere for filling in Sheldon about her past. A nice dinner would relax both of them and perhaps he wouldn't be too disappointed or revolted by her and would keep her on. This was her best chance for that, so she agreed to the dinner. "I think that's a very good idea, Dr. Cooper. We could both stand to air it out instead of keeping all of this grief inside us."

"Please, call me Sheldon."

"Very well, Sheldon. You pick the place and the time and we will do just that."

Sheldon smiled down at his assistant, his blue eyes filled with gratitude. He had been wanting, no needing to talk with someone about Amy for a long time now. His friends, caring and long-suffering as they were, no longer wanted to hear about his loss. They now wanted him to smile like an idiot and 'get on with life'. Maybe he could, if he was able to talk with Niki and become friends with the woman. They shared something together, tragic though it was, and they could use this to form some kind of relationship. Dinner would be the perfect opportunity to discuss things. Yes. It was about time.