Forgive me...
I thought it'd make Lizzie more loveable...
Dedicated to: Shadet 4-ever whome inspired the bonus this time.
(Sorry this took so long. I was waiting for another friend to post the song parody she wrote for this, bout AIDs being in Sebastian's lemonade, but she doesn't have internet right now, so the next chapter will be for her.)
-/-
The Black Sheep, Chapter Two.
In the Afternoon:
The Sheep, Bored Out of his Fricking Mind.
It was disgusted as a cane shop, but everyone knew it was actually part of the black-market. It was infamous for selling things smuggled in from the future. Ciel could only hope it sold CD players.
"Hello there, little boy." The creepy man at the counter said, "Would you like some candy?"
"Sebastian, please whack the Pedo-bear for me." Ciel said, without a a second thought.
"Of course, young master." the demon sheep replied, turning his hand to 'pimp-slap' the fool who'd messed with his master.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I take it back!" he screamed. However, he was still slapped across the face.
"I want a CD player. You have one, don't you?" He said as if nothing had happened, however the look he was sending the man said, 'You'd better have one.'
"Oh, come on. CD players are so history! Wouldn't you rather spend a couple hundred on the lastest iPod Touch? It's not like the technology will be updated in another week or two."
"No, I need a CD player. How the heck do you expect me to play a CD on a bloody iPod?"
"But it comes with wifi and-"
"Must I remind you that there is no internet in this century?" Ciel asked, still bitter about it although he had no idea what he was missing.
"True," the shopkeeper said, "Oh, and I'm going to have to ask you to buy this lovely cane."
"What?"
"Well, the cops have been hanging around and I've had to actually start making canes. So, would you please buy one? It'll keep the Queen happy, you know." he said, with a devilish wink.
Sebastian looked at his master, as if asking 'Should I beat him up?'
"It's okay. I'm beautiful and dirty rich." Ciel said, happily.
-/-During the carriage ride back:
"Sir, I have a bad feeling about this."
"Can't read my~ Can't read my~ No, he can't read my pokerface~" Ciel sang allong with his CD, completely ignoring Sebastian's warning. Little did he know.
-/-
"Oh my god!" Ciel said, sounding a little more British than usual.* He was staring in shock at his mansion. It had been spray-painted hot pink and was covered with glitter and duct tape. We must be at the wrong house, he though. Yet, inside he knew the truth. This was his Gothic Parodise. And it had been ruined. The inside was even worse. The hords of junk he'd collected over the years was gone. In fact, the mansion sparkled... It was all most disturbing.
"What the heck is going on here?" Sebastian asked the staff as they slowly filled in. Mey-Rin had been dressed in a girl's school uniform. Bard was a sailor. Finnian, on the other hand, was a princess. This was all the work of one person. And he was in deep once Ciel got ahold of him.
They found Laurent in the next room, dressing Tanaka as a nun.
"What the heck are you doing?"
Laurent blinked once before suddenly shrieking, "Ciel~ I've missed you so much!" He rushed to half hug, half glomp Ciel whom swore to himself that one day it'd be Laurent in the chili bowl.
"Ahem, Master Laurent, I believe you ought to stop. Mey-Rin is in the next room, bleeding to death you see."* Sebastian interrupted them.
Laurent giggled, letting a blushing Ciel go. "Sebastian, oh my gosh! It's been so long! Look, I even bought you something!" He dug into his purse for a moment before pulling out a fluffy blob of pink, "It's a fleece sweater vest. Isn't it just adorable?"
"Oh, way thank you. I truly adore sweater vests. What a very thoughtful gift." Laurent didn't notice his eye roll. He was too busy chatting away at Ciel.
"Who is this monster?" Finnian asked.
"Oh, Laurent is Ciel's betrothed."
"What?" They all gasped.
"Most nobles have arranged marriages. Ciel and Laurent were engaged before birth. Ciel's parents had agreed since someone had predicted Laurent to be a girl. Unfortunitly, the future's always changing you see, and well..."
"They left the engagment the way it was?" Mey-Rin asked quietly.
"Of course they did! Their union was blessed by the Bishop and the Pope! There was no way they could back out of the arrangement with honor."
"But... That there doesn't look like something the Pope would approve of." Bard drawled, pointing at the two boys.
"Yes, well Laurent is a well kept secret. They usually keep him in the basement and tell people their daughter is abroad."
"That ain't no broad."
"No, ah broad. Not, a broad. Like, studying over-seas." Sebastian said, doing a dramatic face palm at Bard's ignorance.
"Laurent, why are you not locked up in a closet somewhere?" Ciel asked, finally getting a chance to talk.
"I had my personal maid let me out," he said with a smile, "It probably helped that I was handling a silk thong at the time."
"Your mother is probably worried sick. You know you're not allowed to leave the house!"
"But I wanted to see you!" Laurent protested, pouting. A second later, his expression was back to normal, "Since I'm here, why don't we have a party? Just the two of us? It'll be great." Ciel and Sebastian shared a look of dismay as he continued, "I even picked a cute pink dress out for you! Go on, get dressed!"
-/-
Ciel slammed the door to his office angrily. A second later, Sebastian reopened it, covering his nose which had been smashed by the door.
"I can not believe I'm expected to marry him!" Ciel grumbled, sitting down at his desk.
"His family is of higher noblitly. Not to mention their wealth, and the money they continue to pay you to keep quiet about thier son."
"If I ever revealed that their 'daughter' was in fact male, it wouldn't only be their diginity on the line. My family name would go down as well."
"Regardless, the best course of action is to go along with his silly games and 'just dance.'"
"I don't have time for his crazy whims. I have three more songs to memorize here. So, why don't you just stuff some food into that big mouth of his and send him back home to be locked away in the attic." Ciel replied, already putting his earphones in.
"Young Master, I have never seen you do so, and correct me if I'm wrong, but do you know how to dance?"
Ciel responded by spinning around in his wheely-chair and blasting 'Love Games' at top volume.
"Well, that explains quite a bit. But, surely, you had instructors as a child like most nobles?"
"Fine! I admit it! I dance like a white boy!" he burst out, still not facing Sebastian.
Sabastian blinked in confusion before stating, "But, Sir, you are a white boy."
"Stop rubbing it in!" he yelled. But it wasn't the typical 'bitchy' yell, it was more like a whine. No, a sob.
"Don't worry about that," Sebastian said, turning the chair to face him once more, "Allow me to handle everything, my lord."
-/-Not ten minutes later:
"You are fucking kidding me."
"Sir?"
"There is no way I am dancing with that!" Ciel said, glaring at Grelle whom was making an early apperance. "What about you? I thought you were going to teach me?"
Sebastian sighed before explaining, "My lord, it is a commonally known fact, straight white men cannot dance. Therefore, I cannot be the one to teach you. Grelle however-"
"Why is he the solution to everything? It's just like the bloody second season when-"
"Spoilers, my lord." Sebastian interupted, before any more could be revealed.
Grelle sighed, pushing up his glasses, "Look, if you really what to learn, watch me closely. Cause I'm only gonna do this once."
What happened next was too graphic for even fanfiction and has been censored for your sanity.
However it most have been sufficient, because Ciel evidently learned the Sojia Boy. However, the "cute" pink dress that Laurent had brought him, made Ciel want to vomit. Instead, he changed into one of his many adorable suits, figuring Laurent wouldn't notice a thing, and headed back to the disaster zone where Laurent was telling poor Finny about his plan to adopt a panda.
"That's enough, Laurent."
"Ciel~kun!" the boy sang, prancing over to him, "You're so adorable."
Ciel didn't whine about the use of Japanese. Nor did he protest when Laurent took both of his hands. Complaining would only make this last longer, he knew, and he really wanted it to end quickly.
"What's this?" Ciel looked up, into Laurent's eyes. He was glaring down at their joined hands.
"What's wrong?"
"This ring. Whose is it?"
"It's mine." he replied, confused.
"But... Don't you love me, Ciel?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Why do you have a promise ring on? A really blinged out promise ring?"* Laurent screamed, pulling it from Ciel's finger, "Am I not enough for you?"
"No, Laurent! I swear, that's just a cheap ring I got out of a machine outside Wal-Mart!" It was a lie, but Ciel didn't like discussing his dark, ansty back-story with side characters.
Laurent looked at it for a moment, "Oh. That makes sense," he said, about it give it back. Unforuntily when Ciel hastily reached for it, it fell to the ground and shattered into a million tiny peices.
Ciel wasn't thinking as he extended his hand to bitch-slap the hell outa Laurent. But something stopped him. No, Sebastian had grabbed his arm.
"My lord, use this instead!" Sebastian said, putting the newly purchased cane into Ciel's hand as if expecting him to beat Laurent with it. However, when Ciel made no move to do so, he quickly covered, "That ring was very important to the master. You'll have to forgive his rudeness. Please, excuse us for a moment, I believe-"
"No," he said, picking up the broken peices.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to break it, I swear!" Laurent began whining.
"No, it's alright." he went to the wondow and tossed the remains of his ring out, "It's just a lousy old ring, that must have been cheap if it broke so easily."
"Ciel," Laurent smiled through his tears.
"Crying out of self pity? How can you call yourself a man? I won't want to dance with a total pussy, would I?" Laurent laughed and let Ciel wipe away the tears with his hankie.*
After a few minutes, once everything was somewhat back to normal, as if anything in this anime is normal, Ciel showed off his stupid dance and the 'party' ended happily.
"Young Master, Finnain phoned your aunt. A carriage will be around in the morning to collect him." Sebastian said later, in Ciel's room.
"Ah, good."
"You danced very well today, Sir."
"I know right! I kicked butt!"
"We're all very proud of you. I believe you are diserving of this." He extented a gloved hand, in which he held the ring. It had been fixed and looked good as new.
"But it broke!" he exclaimed, Sebastian taking his hand.
"This ring exsists solely to be worn by your finger. Or something like that."
"Um... Was that a lame confesson or something?"
"No," Sebastian whispered, "It's just in the scribt."
"Oh," he was only slightly disapointed. Sebastian had made it to the Semi-Finals of Sexiest Men of Anime 2010.* Anybody would be happy to hook up with him.
"Boochan, you look upset? Did you really want that confession?"
"No!" he replied a little too quickly, "I just have a depressing monologe to do. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to get it over with."
"Sorry, Boochan."
Ciel's hands suddenly came up, and tingled in his hair. His eyes closed dramatically as he began, "This ring has seen the demise of it's master many times. Pretty much all of my family that came before me. And, without fail, it'll witness my death as well. It has heard the final breath of every family-head. When I close my eyes, I can hear them. I thought, maybe if I just throw it away I wouldn't hear them anymore. But that was just foolishness." He looked up, "Stay with me, Sebastian? At least until I fall asleep?"
"Yes, Boochan." the demon smirked, "I will stay with you until the very end. I shall always be by your side, and in the morning I'll be sure to call somebody about those voices you're hearing."
"Sebastian, forget the stupid monologe and let me!"
"Sorry, Boochan!"
"Enough with that stupid word! That's the fourth time you've used it and I swear I'm going to start acting like Alois if you don't stop."
"That's a very serious threat, Boochan."
"Don't test me."
-/-Alois Bonus:
"So, we're not going to the bathroom together?" I asked, turning to see Ciel clutching his sword.
"Alois, I challange thy to duel."
"Um, how about no." I asked, picking up a randomly placed gun. He dropped the sword instantly, and was about to call for his sheep when I grabbed him by the collar.
"Where are you-" he started, as I began draging him toward the large walk in closet. Come on, he was a lot smaller than me! There was no way he could beat me anyhow! "Sebastian!" he screamed, suddenly realizing where we were headed.
"Boochan!" Sebastain was in the room in a second. Claude was there too, but he's a jerk and no one cares about him.
"Sebastian! Help! He's going to rape me!" Ciel cried, slapping at my hands.
Sebastian blinked, before darkly smiling. "Okay, I'll help." he purred, picking the boy up and taking him to the closet.
-/-
Ciel needs to watch what he says! lol.
*Because the only thing more adorable than Ciel speaking in Japanese is Ciel speaking in an English accent. :9
*Nose bleeds are deadly.
*I don't know why, but I always end up using these annoying little fads in my stories... Nothing against the 'promise' ring, but it's really not my thing.
*I don't know. Ciel was being rude and she just ate it up. :(
*Sadly Zero Kiriyu beat him. :(
