Disclaimer: I Own U. Just kiddin... I Don't own DBZ
OK guys I'm back with my totally unrealistic story. Undying Danger. Sorry for the time off. But had work to do... a lot of work... anyway remember if u haven't read damn you woman I erge you to read it before this story, it'll make more sense.
…...
"I like pie" Trunks said as he sat down at breakfast. He began to munch away aimlessly.
"Trunks give some pie to Trunks!" yelled Bulma as the baby trunks began to cry.
"shut up numbskull 1!" said Vegeta to the baby.
"Hey don't call me a numb skull!" said future Trunks.
"Shut up Numbskull 2" he said. Bulma stared at Vegeta. For some reason he was inside the house today.
"So! Couldn't resist my fridge could you!" she yelled smirking.
"Woman, I've been raiding your fridge for 2 months now," He said
"W...what? But I never saw-"
"Just cause you never saw me doesn't mean I don't do it."
'saiyans...' she thought.
Vegeta approached the fridge and took out two soft drinks, grape juice and cola. He gave the cola (obviously) to Trunks. Trunks was confused.
"Don't flatter yourself Boy. Why are you here?" he said opening the can and taking a sip.
Trunks didn't answer. He was looking at his father's can. He began to hold back his laughter. Vegeta noticed this. "What is it boy!" he firmly said.
"N...nothing father..."Trunks said holding back the laughter. On the can it had a picture of Barney the Purple dinosaur.
"You're laughing at my can aren't you." Vegeta said.
"N...N..." Trunks giggled. Vegeta SLAMMED the can onto the table squishing it and smashing the table to the ground.
"I DON'T LIKE BARNEY!" Vegeta yelled. "I LIKE GRAPE JUICE!"
Bulma who witnessed this erupted in laughter "AHAHAHA... Now I know why trunks loves that show so much!"
"I swear woman, If you ever mention this again, I will literally go to Barney, rip off his head and force you to eat it!"
"Be careful Vegeta, the big bad dinosaur may scare you!" she laughed.
He turned towards the hallway, blasted a hole through the wall and walked outside. Trunks stood there dumbfounded.
….
Meanwhile, in an abandoned house in Cleveland...
Piccolo took a whiff of the marijuana in his hand "Man dis some strong shit right here!" he passed it on to another person. Krayzie Bone then took a whiff of the smoke "Shit man your right, this shit got some tangy taste," he said calmly, (for those who don't know Krayzie bone is a rapper from Bone thugs in Harmony).
Another guy took a puff "Shit man, A-dog you goin greener then a tree in spring!"
Piccolo's eyes became narrow. "What the F*** did you just say!"
The guy became silent. Piccolo got up, "what did you say!"
Krayzie bone put a hand infront of Piccolo to stop him. "Shit Ray J didn't ya know A-dog doesn't like to be called green."
"Thank you Kray!" said Piccolo.
"Don't ever call A-dog Green!" Krayzie bone said.
"EXACTLY!"
"Even though he is really green..."
"YEAH...wait..."
"I mean he could blend into a forest by just standing in place"
"wait... HEY!"
"I mean seriously, he looks photosynthetic."
"HEY SHUT UP!"
"You Shut up A-dog!"
They all began laughing hysterically for no apparent reason. "hey A-dog" said one of them, "What does your name stand for?"
"Asexual dog" he said taking a puff.
"What's dat mean?" the guy asked.
"A dog which undergoes reproduction which does not involve meiosis, ploidy reduction, or fertilization. Only one parent is involved in asexual reproduction. A more stringent definition is agamogenesis which refers to reproduction without the fusion of gametes." said Krayzie bone taking a puff.
Everyone went silent.
"Wait...What did you just say?" one of them said. There was a moment of silence.
"... How the F*** am I supposed to know, I'm high" Krayzie bone said. And everyone laughed hysterically again for no apparent reason.
Suddenly Piccolo's cell phone began to ring. He picked it up. "Hello" he said
"H... hello is this Piccolo?" Dende spoke.
"Dende... Why didn't you contact me, mind to mind."
"I couldn't get through, your mind barred me out,"
"o...ohhhhhh I think I fell on one of my antennas and hurt it and now reception is stuffed up..."
There was a moment silence.
"Piccolo are you high..." Dende said dully.
"N...no." piccolo replied.
"Piccolo! HOW MUCH TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! being under the influence bars me outta your numbskull head, since weed does nothing but empty your brain!"
Piccolo began to giggle. Dende heard this. "Piccolo are you laughing at me!"
"...No..." Piccolo giggled.
"PICCOLO!, I WONDER HOW KAMI IS FEELING INSIDE YOUR BODY!, PROBABLY UTTERLY DISCUSTED!" Dende yelled.
…...
Meanwhile in Piccolo's body...
*Cough Cough* "STOP THIS SMOKE! I'm SUFFOCATING!" Kami yelled through red watery eyes, "But for some reason I am at peace and find this situation surprisingly funny" he said
…... Back to Piccolo...
"How dare you Dende!" Piccolo said. "Accusing me of being under the influence! I am NOT high"
"Yes you are" said one homeboy in the background.
"Shut up Anyaaro!" Piccolo said, "And I know why you rang... so I can go seek out Trunks and why he has returned!"
"Shit man, you were trunks? But what's the use you have no pe-"
"Shut up Big Bob" said Piccolo. "I am on my way right now!"
"But wait piccolo" Said Dende. "Shouldn't you wait till the marijuana exits your system"
"I AM NOT HIGH!" Piccolo yelled shutting the phone. He looked at all his homies. "Hey guys I have some work to attend to ok" he said.
"shiiit man, don't leave yet A-Dog" Krayzie bone said.
"I think it's time I left, I think Big Bob thinks I'm a giant Marijuana plant,"
"True true" Krayzie bone said. "Oh well, I guess we'll be seein ya A-Dog" he said "May Divine Ideologies be with you"
"Yeh whatever" Piccolo said, "Bye kray Cya soon." he then went out side and flew off.
Krayzie bone watched him go "Now that is one green dude!"
…...
Back to Capsule corp
…...
Trunks walked outside, and towards his father who was on the grass porch just outside the gravity chamber. He sat down next to him.
"It was just one time..." Vegeta said, "I was cycling through some channels and then he came up on the children's channel. He was just so purple... more purple than your hair, and I was like 'how can something be that naturally purple' and-"
"DAD! I don't care I'm here on a mission" Trunks said. They both became silent.
"Ok, what do you want?" Vegeta replied.
"Well-"
"Why don't we talk about this inside," said a voice in a very serious manner.
Vegeta looked back "What are you doing here Namek?" He said.
"Piccolo" Trunks said in a formal way "You knew I was here... well you probably know its a serious matter too, nothing less from the guardian of Earth. I agree, we should go inside, and seriously talk about this"
"Hell na dawg we dun have to, I'm just freakin starvin!" Piccolo blurted. Both Vegeta and Trunks looked at him there eyes about to pop out of their sockets. Piccolo realised what he said and covered his mouth. "A...A...I mean, yes we should go inside and elaborate on your presence for a few hours..."
Everyone went silent. Vegeta rolled his eyes and went inside. Trunks and Piccolo followed him.
Vegeta and Trunks sat on different couches in the living room. Piccolo fell on the remaining couch. "Ok so why have you come" he said looking at him.
Bulma came in with a plate of cupcakes. Piccolo saw them (…. yep he had the munchiessss...).
"I came to-" trunks was cut off by a watery eyed Piccolo.
"H...Hey guys what is that outside." He said. Trunks went out to the window. "Ah... I can't see anything..."
"Wait lemme have a look, it might be a thief" Vegeta said. As they were both at the window, Piccolo picked up the plate of cupcakes and dumped them in his mouth, he then glanced at the empty plate for a second, shrugged, and then dumped that in as well, but unlike the cupcakes... it didn't go in so well, It remained stuck in the middle of his neck.
"KH! KH!" he choked, reaching for Vegeta and Trunks, but they were too preoccupied trying to find out what was out there.
"KHHHH! KHHHH!" he held his expanded neck.
Suddenly Bulma's mum entered the room. She looked at piccolo.
Piccolo looked at her, "KHHHHH! KHHHHEEEEELLLLPPPPP!" he choked, raising his hand towards her for help.
"OH MY GOD!" she yelled "THAT MAN IS TALKING ARABIC!"
Vegeta and trunks looked back to see Piccolo muttering weird sounds on the ground.
"No he isn't you dumb brainless imp," Vegeta said, "That sounds nothin like Arabic."
"DAD!" Trunks yelled "I think he's choking!" He ran up to him helping him up and lightly tapping his back in an upwards motion.
Vegeta looked at this for a few seconds "Wait boy what are you doing?"
"He is applying one of the most common procedures of first aid, to a choking man." Said Bulma's father who somehow appeared out of nowhere.
"Uh huh... Hey wait where'd you come from!" Vegeta sweat dropped.
"Grandfather's right. For this to work, my taps must be small and then steadily grow in speed and strength," Trunks said continuing with his taps.
"Another thing that should grow are your balls!" Vegeta yelled as he approached Piccolo pulling up one sleeve. He then punched Piccolo in the stomach with such great force, Piccolo coughed the plate out like a bullet, and it flew and smashed Bulma's father in the face. He fell to the ground "OW OW MY POOR OLD NOSE!" he yelled.
Bulma rushed in, Trunks also rushed to the scene. "OH MY GOD! DADDY!" she got out a towel and started wiping the blood from his face. "VEGETA! come take him to the infirmary!"
"HHHH" Vegeta said frustrated. He walked up to him and looked at him. "Why? he isn't even that badly injured a few band aides an-"
"VEGETA HE HAS A HUGE GAPING CUT ACROSS HIS CHEEK." she yelled back.
Piccolo got up to see everyone crowded around. He looked around and saw a giant hamburger (In the eyes of a normal non hallucinating Namek the term for the object is more clearly and accurately termed as "a fridge"). His jaw dropped to the ground.
After a while, Trunks had decided to take the poor man to the hospital rather than the infirmary. Vegeta walked into the kitchen where he saw Piccolo clung to the fridge, sucking on it from the side.
"Namek, get off my fridge," he said holding back his own anger.
"This hamburger taste like fridge!" Piccolo said.
"GET OFF!" Vegeta yelled coming up to him from behind, grabing his hips and trying to pull him off. This somehow looked very awkward. Bulma walked into the room, "Hey Vege-" she looked at them with wide eyes, Vegeta looked back. "W...Wait!", he said.
"I'm sorry I won't disturb you," she giggled as she left.
"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" He yelled back, letting go of Piccolo. Piccolo took this opportunity. He opened the fridge and got inside. Vegeta looked back to here a scrummage in the fridge. "Namek! Are you in MY FRIDGE!"
"...No..." Piccolo replied back from inside.
"Get out of my fridge now!"
"Nom nom nom- I don't want to- nom nom nom"
"Namek! Are you eating my cake!"
"nom nom- mayyyyyyybe- nom nom"
"NAMEK, GET OUT OR I WILL BLOW THIS FRIDGE TO BITS!"
"No you won't- nom nom nom"
Vegeta smirked, he knew now what was happening. "Hey Namek, I got weed"
"GIMME!" Piccolo said popping his head out of the window. Suddenly he saw a hand flying at him. He dogged it with great speed. He then got out of the fridge.
"Oh now your talking" Vegeta said smirking. He than went for a flurry of fist punches, with which Piccolo blocked with relative ease. "What the! How the hell are you blocking that!"
"I don't know," Piccolo said "I'm high!"
Vegeta went in for another strike, which Piccolo dodged with excellence. Vegeta backed off. 'Ok now what?' Vegeta thought, suddenly he got an idea.
"Hey Namek I got weed!" He said extending his hands, which were enclosed on each other, as if he was hiding something. "Come take some"
"I'm not falling for that again!" Piccolo yelled.
"Please believe me!" Vegeta said.
"hhhhhhhhh" Piccolo muttered in a frustrated manner, "Ok fine, only cause you said nicely." Piccolo approached Vegeta stretching out one hand. Vegeta opened his hands to reveal nothing more than a power ball.
"oh shit" muttered Piccolo. A huge powerblast raged out of Vegeta's hands, incinerating one of Piccolo's hands. "OH GOD MY ARM, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE VEGETA?"
"Don't worry Namek you can regenerate." he said
"...oh yeah"
"But you need time for that" Vegeta said as he smirked, "And thats something you don't have!" Vegeta pounced at Piccolo, who began to dodge and deflect Vegeta's strikes again. But it was harder to defend with one hand. Vegeta swiftly took advantage of this and fained a strike to his waste, smashing him in the jaw. Piccolo flew back into the wall, going through it and landing on the grass porch outside.
Vegeta flew out after him to find Dende and Mr Popo outside. "Mr Popo take this idiot back to the lookout."
Vegeta looked at the young Namek. "I trust you are more trustworthy then that good for nothing shmuck!"
"He has been acting weird lately," Dende said, frustrated.
"If only you knew..." Vegeta said
"I do know, I am the guardian of Earth... I do see everything on earth."
There was a moment silence. "Boy are you mocking me,"
"No sir"
"You better not!"
"I'm sorry..."
"Shut up!"
"Ok..."
There was another moment of silence. "So why are you here?"
Dende looked at Vegeta seriously. "To talk about Trunks' arrival".
Vegeta folded his arms and walked towards the hole in the house. "Well you have to wait. Trunks took the Woman's dad to hospital, because he got hit by a plate that the Namek coughed up."
"Ouch!"Dende said.
"He should be back by sunset..." Vegeta said.
"May I come in" Dende said.
"Why,"
"I've been sensing some lurking danger this past few weeks and I want to talk about it."
Vegeta kept walking. Dende took this as an invitation and headed inside after him.
…...
DUN! OK GUYS REMEMBER TO REVIEW THIS CRAZY STORY!
