A/N: Anyway…the third chapter's up! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The only piece of Naruto merchandise I do own is a huge Sasuke poster, which is currently hanging on my bedroom wall.
Chapter 3. Sasuke: Fandom's Most Wanted
You name your fingers after Naruto characters
For example, your thumb is Naruto, then your index finger is Sasuke and so on and so forth…
You try to convince your friends to give up their little fingers so you could use them for more Naruto characters
Apparently, 10 fingers weren't enough, you just had to use more fingers to include more Naruto characters
Unfortunetly, the attempt fails…
You use your fingers as an exuse for every situation imaginable
Like the time during lunch, when one of your friends wouldn't give you another brownie, you wagged your index finger saying, "But Sasuke wants one too!!!!"
One of your fellow fan friends who is obsessed with Sasuke tried to grab your index finger so she could make out with him
You run away, screaming like a maniac
And then secretly, when no one is looking…
You make out with your Sasuke index finger, because you're a Sasuke fangirl too
You nearly passed out when one of your fan friends gave you a huge Sasuke poster as a Christmas present
You talk to everyone in your class about Naruto, even the ones who don't know what the hell you're talking about (pretty much everyone)
You talk to the class pet when everyone else refuses to sit next to you
Your teachers have stopped giving you weird looks
You and your sister argue about who would win a fight: Sasuke or Neji. The argument is something like this:
Me: Sasuke would so win in a fight! He has Sharingan, which would allow him to anticipate every move that Neji would make!
My Sister: But Neji has Byakugan! And besides, Sasuke is sooooo weak, he had to go to the evil side to gain power and that's just pathetic!
This goes on and on and on into other various topics
These arguments are so intense and complex that people would assume that you were debating peace in the Middle East, not arguing about anime characters
You replay a certain funny part of a Naruto episode in your head and you smile
Your parents come by and say, "Lemme guess, Naruto"
They don't need an explanation
You consider non-fans the "unbelievers" and do not hesitate to tell them that
When you are bored and there is nothing Naruto related around, you make up little scenes in your head (ex. Shikamaru singing Beverly Hills)
You wish that Sasuke would listen to Numb by Linkin' Park. Everything would be so much better then
You are a Sasuke fangirl…
…even if you're a boy
You walk around thinking What Would Insert Name of Favorite Canon Character of Your Choice Here Do If They Were Here Right Now
You name your pets after Naruto characters
You have a whole outfit you wear to bed at all times just in case you get dropped into the Naruto world while you're asleep. It never hurts to be prepared, right?
You have a carefully composed four-page list of questions you would ask the characters if they dropped into your living room.
You constantly quote the characters, even Pakkun
Everyone at your school has a "Don't ask" policy with your weird little addictions
You spend hours pondering what village your cat would be from if he/she was a member of Naruto
When you read various stories, you replace the characters with the ones from Naruto
You read fanfictions such as this one…since you find this list woefully incomplete, some of you have actually tried to attempt to leave reviews with even more suggestions
You have a potted plant named Zetsu, which you hug daily.
And then you run off screaming that it is going to eat you
You end every sentence with "dattebayo"
When someone says "Is that some guy from Naruto?" You respond "NO ITS NOT 'SOME GUY'. ITS HOSHIGAKI KISAMI, MONSTER OF THE HIDDEN MIST!"
You know all the names of every major and minor character that has appeared in the anime/manga…
…Yet you don't even know the guy on the dollar bill. It's Thomas Jefferson, right?
Your grades have dropped because of Naruto
The Muses you had before the Naruto ones moved in are now jealous that you spend all your time with the newcomers instead of them.
You've contemplated whether it's worse to be addicted to drugs or to Naruto
You have Naruto muses you don't even WANT! Zetsu just FORCED his way into your head.
You constantly whisper, "Akatsuki" to random people on the street.
And to the cable guy…
…And the pizza boy.
And the cop who pulled your car over because you and your little sister began fighting about pairings while the car was going down the interstate at seventy miles per hour, causing your ever-patient father to lose control of the vehicle.
Your parents have forbidden you from ever mentioning Naruto again. They're so tired of you ranting about it all the time.
You went on Youtube to watch every single episode that you ever missed.
Assuming that you actually ever missed one.
Your sad attempts at recreating ninjitsu, genjitsu, and/or taijitisu land you at a hospital
You plan on naming your future children with Naruto characters' names
You perk up when someone mentions Naruto
Your Christmas list is composed of only Naruto related items and detailed descriptions of where to find them.
You try to put your hair in the styles you see in the anime/manga
You compare people with characters from Naruto. Ex. "He's hot like Sasuke! Or You're scary like Orochimaru!
Naruto has become synomous with your name. When your friends/family hear the word, they think of you
You wake up to find that, after you have a dream about shirtless Sasuke, your lips are planted on your drool-soaked pillow
You randomly glance over your shoulders, looking for the Akatsuki
You cosplay…A lot.
You rattle off every obscure detail from every episode imaginable and you can do it at the drop of a hat. Most of the time, you don't even need the hat!
You are greaty offended when people call you crazy.
They're the crazy ones, not knowing what Naruto is!
Final Note: Anyway…thanks for everyone who has reviewed and left suggestions for me (I included some)! We're halfway through the list. Just two more chapters and this fanfiction will be over for good. Anyway…you can go ahead and review and type up something on my behalf. It would greatly be appreciated.
REVIEW NO JUTSU!
