Love is not the opposite of hate. Love and hate are very similar emotions. Like a faucet with hot and cold handles, both temperatures of water come out of the same faucet. The opposite of love is indifference. Like a faucet with no water coming out.
~ Dave Berg
I sat in an uncomfortable chair as I waited in painful silence. It was getting late at night and I was tired and just wanted to go home. If it wasn't for Damon not being able to go out during the day then we probably would have this done and over with by now. I've never dreaded something as much as I am dreading this first therapy session in my life. It was somewhat intimidating and if I was honest I didn't do well in situations like that. I may act like it doesn't phase me but it always has a way of getting to me.
I was having the same feeling I used to get as a kid before I went to doctors or the dentist. I don't know why but I hated those appointments with a passion. I never had a specific reason for hating it so much, all I knew is that I did. And just like a dentist and doctors waiting room, there was that distinctive smell surrounding this waiting room as well. It was like the cherry on top and made my uneasiness more apparent.
The place that Stefan sent us to was very low key. The building was set up almost like an apartment complex and each door was a different business with one waiting room for them all. There was a massage parlor right across from where we were waiting and the hole time I was contemplating convincing Damon to ditch the session and go get massages. I'm sure it wouldn't have taken too much convincing as he was squirming in his seat just as well.
"I hate this." I mumbled under my breath but loud enough for him to hear besides me.
"Smells like a dentist office." He cringed his nose and I almost laughed that we were probably thinking the same thing.
"I know, right?" I sighed and looked around. The session before us must be running late because we have been waiting for over fifteen minutes. "When I was a kid I used to think if my parents would leave me alone with my dentist he would pull all my teeth out with pliers. I'm having that feeling again."
"Don't worry, unless Stefan got us into some freaky shit, that shouldn't happen."
"Whatever, you can act as if none of this actually affects you but I'm sure you have that awful gut feeling as well." I rolled my eyes and started looking around, waiting for the door in front of us to open already.
"No, Elena I'm so ecstatic to talk and open up about my feelings." He said sarcastically with a smirk and I chuckled a little under my breath.
"You have feelings?" I said with fake shock as his smirk dropped off his face. Right at that moment the door in front of us opened as a women who had to be in her fifties and younger women who was probably a few years older than me stepped out. I watched as the younger women said goodbye and started to walk towards the stairs a couple feet away. I turned back towards Damon to see him obviously checking her out as she walked away. I hit him in his chest as hard as I could till he came back to reality. "Really? Right now?"
"So you must be my eight o'clock." My attention was turned back to the older women who must be the psychologist.
"Yes, I'm Elena and this is Damon." I said as I stood up and shook her hand as Damon did the same. I looked up at Damon to see him looking very uncomfortable and I could feel my own smirk play at my lips. Maybe if Damon didn't pride him self at making people feel awkward it wouldn't have been so enjoyable.
"It's nice to meet you. My name in Gail. Please come in." She said gesturing towards the door.
"Lets get this over with." I heard Damon say as he followed me into her office. There was a separate room with her desk and the other with some furniture which she lead us into. The room was warm with soft earth tones which made it a lot more comfortable then the florescent lighting in the waiting room. The retched feeling in my stomach was starting to let up as the environment became more welcoming. I couldn't say the same for Damon though as he still seemed tense. To anyone else he probably looked as cool as a cucumber. But I knew better.
She motioned for us to sit down on the big fluffy couch that was across from a chair she sat in. Damon and I both sat in the middle of the couch and I tried to keep my tongue in check but at this moment I really wanted to tell him to move over. I felt him start to nudge me in my ribcage with my elbow so I would move. I shot him a glare and started to nudge him, signaling I wasn't going to be the one moving.
"Don't you embarrass me." I said harshly under my breath and turned towards Gail. "What is all going to be happening during these... sessions?" I had no idea what went down at these sort of things. After my parents death they tried to get me to see someone but I didn't see the point in pouring my guts out to some stranger and talking about my life. I was hoping since Damon was there and it was all about working on our friendship, it wouldn't be so bad.
"Well for this first session is going to be different from the rest. I will be getting to know you two and your reason for coming so I can understand you and know how to help your situation."
"Okay." I said hesitantly. I was waiting or Damon to say something... anything. It was strange for him to sit back and let me take the reigns.
"So what brings you guys to me? Are you having relationship problems?"
"Oh we aren't together." I quickly said.
"It's not like I haven't tried" Damon finally found his voice which just made me roll my eyes. I saw Gail quirk an eyebrow at us and I got even more frustrated with Damon. Sometimes people didn't understand his sarcasm. That was sarcastic, right?
"I'm dating his brother. The reason why we came is because we have been fighting so much and we just want to be civil around each other."
"Trust me, this wasn't our idea." Damon said while really pulling off his extremely annoyed act.
"So you two don't think your relationship needs mending?" She asked sceptically
"No. Neither of us would just take such drastic measures on our free will." I added. I didn't want it to make it look like we didn't care. "We just needed a push."
"Speak for yourself. I just think if we are around each other more we are going to fight more." Damon added while sounding like begin around me was like getting the plague.
"Do you not like it when you fight?" Gail added which made Damon smirk. Figures he would find something smirk-able.
"No I actually love getting under her skin." He said with pure enjoyment. "It brightens my day. I just hate it when the fights affect my social life. Ergo being here frustrates me."
"Of course our fighting makes you happy because you just love to see me miserable."
"What do you guys usually fight about?" Gail quickly quickly got out before Damon could respond.
"Most of the time it is the little things. Like Damon wont let me rearrange the living room or he will take something of mine and not put it back. It's just the tiny things that get us riled up."
"So you guys live together. Do you seem to be arguing more now?"
"It's a big house. And one of the reasons why we need to stop fighting but I think it has always been this way. Actually I think when we didn't live together our fights were bigger. More serious than the ones we have now." It's not like I could tell her that we've grown a lot since he killed my brother. But actually we are better than we were before in the sense that I didn't have such a powerful amount of hate in me for him.
"Its seems as if you blame Damon a lot for your fighting. Damon you are being awfully silent. Why do you think you fight so much?"
"I feel like..." He hesitated for a moment and then it was almost as if something switched in him and he finally said something that was going through his head. " I think the reason we fight so much is because she holds a grudge against me. It is easier for her to get mad at me for picking on her then bringing up past problems."
"Whoa." I didn't mean for it to slip but I was honestly surprised by his genuine answer. Did he really think I was somehow holding things against him still? "I'm not- why didn't you ever tell me you thought I was harboring ill feelings towards our past issues?"
"I thought it was always obvious. I mean how could it not be?" It wasn't though. Every time that he has hurt me some way I think I'll never forgive him and that I will hate him forever. But when I decide to forgive I truly do forgive him.
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Trust me when I say this Damon, I forgive you for that stuff and those things you did. You are a different person now and I know that. Soon you will too." Damon just stared at me as he furrowed his eyebrows and thought it over.
"It looks like you guys are on two different pages on why you fight. Which we will get to, but what else besides your relationship is present in your life? Tell me about your friends and family."
"I don't have friends and my brother is the only family I have left." Damon didn't seem too interested in the topic.
"That's not true! You have Alaric and Liz. You have me too. And you had Rose so it is not like you are incapable of having friends. You just choose to think differently"
"What about your childhood Damon?" I don't think Gail knew what she was getting into here. Damon talking about his childhood was always a sore spot. You just didn't bring it up. "How were your parents? Did you have friends growing up?"
"Maybe we shouldn't-" I started but was cut off when Damon stood up.
"And that is where I've had enough." Damon started walking towards the door before I could even register he was leaving.
"Damon wait!" I called after him but it was like white noise to him as he just walked out of the room. "I'm sorry." I turned back to Gail while grabbing my purse off the couch. I wasn't mad at Damon. I understood why he just ditched but I still wish we could have stayed for the whole session.
"Don't worry about it. I'll be seeing you soon." She said it so positive as if Damon walking out wasn't a huge sign that he wasn't going to be coming back.
"Thanks for your time." I gave her the best smile I could and quickly rushed after Damon. I went and opened the door heading out towards the small waiting room and saw Damon already heading down the steep stairs. I rushed after him and when I caught up at the bottom of the steps I put my hand on his shoulder, wanting him to stop for a second.
"What?" He snapped as he turned back towards me. He was already defensive, thinking I was mad at him.
"I just wanted to say thanks for trying." I gave him a small smile and stepped ahead of him, exiting the building and heading towards the car as he stood there for a few seconds. I was hoping that maybe he was thinking he could have tried harder. Cause if he did, we might just get somewhere.
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