AN: I have to say I am pretty surprised this story has 3 favs and 2 folls after less than 24 hours. I guess I won't have to worry about hauling it down...

I own nothing but the OCs.


While I was stood there thinking about my pretty blue casket/box some of the other folks around the pool had taken an interest in me. I may have thought them weird but then again I guess the same can apply to me. I get the feeling wearing revealing clothes is a normal for the women around here. Not someone like myself who has never worn a skirt that would fall under the mini variety without a pair of pants underneath. Most of my suits for work had slacks, I think I own two that have memory is a little fuzzy on this due to almost never wearing them but I think both are cut just above my knees. Not that I am self conscious about it, I just see it as undignified. Might have something to do with having a crazy bible toting mother too.

Back to the pool folks, unlike most of them my hair is what I consider a normal color, brown. I see turquoise on a kid and orange on a few whores. I do not mean orange like a red head either, I mean orange like the fruit of the same name orange. Looking around I feel a bit better about my height situation as well. I am not short nor am I tall, at 5'7 I feel like the average height group. I used to get annoyed at Queen bee and her troupe of supermodel height women commenting on how I was short. It got old pretty fast. Here too I seem to stand in the middle ground minus scary man who still hasn't said anything.

Maybe I should have said I hit my head or something. During my internal monologue he finally speaks. "You really don't know do you" It was not a question so I kept my mouth shut. The common sense bar is slowly but surely rising again "Donquixote Doflamingo. One of the Shichibukai, Captain of the Donquixote pirates and king of this Island." Thank god for my internal filter otherwise I would have asked if his name had anything to do with that coat of his looking like a flamingo carcass.

"Anything ring a bell?" Every sense, filter and brain cell I had was going nuts screaming abort, abort, Lie! "Nope" The common sense bar just crashed and burned and my preservation of life sense is building a cross for itself. "Fufufufufu I like this girl, she's staying as a maid." The whores looked happy about that but I sure wasn't. I didn't go to college to get a degree in Finance and Human Resources to clean. More often than I care to admit I hire a cleaner to come clean for me. Dust how I hate thee. "Not that I want to rock the boat here any further because I am pretty sure I came close to death a few times today. But do you have an accountant?" This time it was my turn to watch his face get confused.

"A bean counter? A comptroller? A book keeper?" At every phrase he kept the same look on his face. "Someone who counts your money, tells you have much have coming in and how much you have going out?" Dust you evil son of a bitch I am going to have to deal with you for the rest of my life.

"I did. But I killed him when I found out he was stealing from me" Alarm bells were going off again with the preservation of life sense flashing more mayday, mayday images at me. "You want the job little birdie?" Said sense is now looking like a try you strength bar but its labeled with with varying degrees of how bad things are. Up goes the counter weight, into the bell next to 'Long slow and bloody torture' and takes the bell with it. Ladies and gentlemen the bell is out of the park.

"If it keeps me from cleaning and I get to live. You have a deal" I may have just signed my life away to the devil. "Do you have any of your old accountant's record books still?" Instead of answering my question he reached forward and grabbed me. Next thing I know is I'm sat on his lap which by the way I feel like a ten year old because of the size difference, and he's laughing again. "Time for that later little birdie. For now sit back and relax, let me get to know you a little better. I don't let just anyone near my treasury." Its official my life and soul are hanging out with the devil. I hope he has wine.

From his lap I could see the three whores trying to get his attention again, I don't know why I jumped to calling them that. Why should I care if they want to throw themselves at him, glancing at Baby 5 I tried to send her a mental message of get me the hell out of his lap. I don't think she could sense my thoughts. Have to work on that, from the glaring from the other occupants on the couch she may be one of the few friends I make here.

For the next few hours I sat there and just listened to what they were talking about, answering the odd question when it was thrown my way. By the time it was sunset I found myself being removed from his lap. I hope that awkward moment never happens again. ever. Baby 5 made to start dragging me away again, this time I had the sense to not be dragged. "Baby 5, can we maybe walk. Might be easier than you dragging me everywhere plus I don't really want to feel my shoulder pop out of its socket".

"Sure." I get the feeling she is a woman of few words. "So, Can I ask another favor? Think you have any other clothes I can fit into beside this one. That also comes in the form of pants of some kind? Not sure I can wear this day in and day out?"

"I'll take you shopping tomorrow!" I am starting to feel like this is one emotional women. "So are you just another maid around here than?"

"Yes and No. I am a servant for the young master but I'm also on his crew." This chick is a pirate? Might have to do with my love of disney but weren't pirates suppose to be tan, and I don't know. Gruffer? Old? heavily scarred? She was rather pale and looked like she came out of bed in the morning with a spring to her step, plus I don't think the girl has a mean bone in her body. "Ah, why do you and the others call Doflamingo young master?"

"He's the young master, you should call him that too."Alright then I'll store that in my head to keep it off the chopping block. "You really have no idea who he is or who we are do you?"

"Gee what gave it away?" At least with Baby 5 I was starting to feel more comfortable being myself. A little loud but no bite, my days of thinking it was me against the world were over.

"Most people are terrified of the young master. Yet you just up and agreed to work for him doing something he's killed at least six people for in the past". That didn't sound too bad. Wait rewind did she say six people!? I froze beside her, don't need a mirror to tell me I've gone pale as a ghost and my eyes are dilated. "Six people?"

"Yes, though I'm sure his overall body count is far above that" I suddenly have a vision of him stood over a mound of body with flames in the background. Hey one kind of looks familiar, crap its me. At least I'm fully clothed. "For the record I am terrified of him. All day I've been thinking of him as the scary man." Apparently Baby 5 thinks that is funny. Really funny since she's rolling on the floor holding her side. "Scary man? That's what you were calling him!"

"In my head! Contrary to popular believe I do want to you know, stay alive for more than a few hours!" All that outburst got me was more laughing. Sighing I reached down and attempted to pull the women to her feet once she stopped. At that point I guess my body decided to let both of us know I needed something to eat. At the sound my stomach let out I paled. Damn thing sounds like it hasn't been fed in a few days. "Know where I can get something to fill the tank with?"

Ok slang does not follow well here "something to eat" I clarified. When she nodded I followed after her, at least going along at this speed I can get a sense of the layout of the place. It seems huge, mansion may have been an understatement. This place is more like a palace, wait a thought. Pretty sure Doflamingo said something about being a king so putting two and two together. Yea this place is palace. "Depending on the time later think you could give me a tour of some kind?"

"Why. The young master asked me to keep an eye on you" blink. blink. "Ah, I don't think he meant for the entire time I'm here." Good lord if she is stuck to my side for the rest of the time I'm here I'm going to be one annoyed soul. "Until the young master asks me to stop I'll be with you all the time". A small light bulb is going off above my head. "So you're for all intensive purpose, a glorified babysitter." Oh my, her name is Baby 5 and she is stuck babysitting a woman who is more than likely older than her. As crappy as today has been that is one hell of a highlight.

By the time we reached the dining room I had finally stopped laughing. Baby 5 didn't get the connection when i mentioned it to her. Or maybe she did and she just didn't find it anywhere near as funny as i did. Damn here I was hoping she had a rather large sense of humor after my 'Scary man' comment. On the bright side I am kind of glad, who knows what the young master would have thought of the two of us walking in trying to keep laughter in check.

It smells good in here, looking at the table in the center of the room I can understand why. Dishes ranging in all colors and flavors were placed on the table and from the amount I'm not sure why the table doesn't collapse on the the weight of it all.

Sitting down beside Baby 5 I watched some of the others to make sure there wasn't some sort of etiquette I could screw up. Like my youngest brother's wife who at Christmas dinner one year started filling her plate before pops had said grace. Let's just say I'm still amazed to this day how mom didn't fire her out through the door let alone allowed her to marry her baby boy. Seeing nothing like that I began to fill my plate and watched again. After the proverbial hole I dug today I'll really do not want to finish construction of my casket.

To say it was some of the best tasting food I had ever had in my life was an understatement, mom could never cook like this. By the time I was finished my second helping I had one thought running around in my head. I am going to need some fat pants if that is how meals are served around here. Damn big fat pants. Actually no, big fat yoga pants, with no zipper or buttons to worry about more room for food.