It takes place in a bar after a long day of training.

"They kicked me from the Aurors," says Seamus, staring at his glass. He doesn't seem like he wants to elaborate on the thought. He doesn't seem like someone who would have even been in the running for the Aurors. His face is white and he looks, for lack of any other words, utterly purposeless.

"I'm sorry," says Ron, who can't really think of anything else to say. "I-"

"Nah, you're not," says Seamus. "I don't need you pitying me."

Ron and Seamus have been friends for a good seven years; Ron knows when to argue and when to just nod and let it go. Seamus takes a long breath and blows it out his nose hard. "Really, though, I'm glad," he says. "Not like I really needed that job, anyway. I have better things to do than that. I don't have to be some Ministry lackey."

"Yeah," says Ron. He's unsurprised, if he's honest with himself. Seamus has been freaking out during training on a few occasions. Straight up panicked today, had to be sedated. They had to call Dean in to get him. Mess, all around.

"I just don't see myself able to do anything else with my life, you know?" says Seamus. "What the fuck am I good for other than being a blowhard?"

"I don't know, Seamus," says Ron, who's uncomfortable with this conversation. "You don't need to have it worked out yet, you know? You have a lot of time left."

"Yeah, right," says Seamus.

Anything Ron would say would sound hollow and insincere. He says nothing instead. Seamus picks up his glass, but sets it down without drinking. It's still full. "You know, Dean-" he spits the name with a vehemency that Ron knows he doesn't mean "-says that it's not dumb to be this affected, but he doesn't understand." He pauses for a moment, then looks up into Ron's face and adds frankly, "neither do you, but you don't try."

Ron does try, though. He tries very hard to understand what has happened to his sister and her friends. She's not the same Ginny he left at Bill's wedding. She's changed fundamentally, like Seamus has. "I'd try if I knew I could get anywhere," he says.

"I know," says Seamus. "But you respect that there's just no way."

Ron understands. Ron knows too well that, because he spent his seventh year on the run instead of fighting back at Hogwarts, there's an insurmountable gap between him and the DA. Or what's left of the DA. It's not that he and Harry and Hermione (and Dean and all the others who'd been on the run, for that matter) hadn't suffered. It was that they hadn't suffered in the same way, and they all know it.

Because, really, Ron knows enough about what happened that year to know that he has no real idea of what had happened.

"You know, I don't know what I expected," says Seamus. "For the war to end and for everything to be fine, maybe."

"Probably," says Ron. "It's what I wanted."

"Yeah?" says Seamus, and sighs. "God, Ron, we're both stupid."

Ron, who's thought the same thought on countless occasions, shakes his head. Seamus picks up his glass again, doesn't drink it. Sets it back down.

"I'm afraid if I start drinking, I won't stop," he says. "You know they say that's what happens to veterans. I'm not even a veteran and I'm scared."

"You're a veteran, same as me," says Ron. "You fought in the war."

Seamus shakes his head. "There's a difference. I was a student."

"Everyone was, really," says Ron, tentatively.

"Exactly," says Seamus. Ron doesn't know what he means by it. Frankly, he's afraid to ask.


[Note: The timeline for Seamus's involvement with the Aurors is taken from my friend (oh help) Emily's Dean and Seamus fic "We Grew". It's not too necessary that you read it to understand this chapter but also go read it, it's the best and I highly recommend everything about it.]