After the first hour or so passed, Ichigo had to go to the bathroom. He could probably hold it for a good while still, but it was still annoying, not to mention his joints hurt from crouching in this position with his legs bent for such a long time.
Ikkaku was sitting on the couch, fully engrossed in his game, and Yumichika was with him, after having put something or other in the oven.
The thing with Ikkaku and Yumichika is that they talk, a lot - even more apparently, when they were alone. They talked about him and Renji a bunch, actually, which was interesting to listen to - Rukia, Ikkaku's job, Yumichika's job, dumb shit, and Hisagi's problems too.
While Renji was listening closely, having nothing else to do, Ichigo tuned in and out, arms folded over his knees, chin resting on his forearms boredly. It got interesting a few minutes later though.
"You'll never guess who I heard getting some in the supply closet," Yumichika said salaciously after some time spent drinking and relaxing.
"Tss'. Who with?" Ikkaku muttered back, seeming to somehow already know who he was talking about with that small of a hint. Ichigo took a glance to the side, seeing Renji practically perk his ears, as if he suspected too.
"That other trainer you work with." Renji's cheeks puffed up in disbelief for a second, then he bit his lips with wide eyes. Ichigo frowned. What did that mean? Who was it?
"Tch'," Ikkaku snorted. "Figures. Muguruma's up for that kind a' shit." Ichigo stared as Renji put his forehead in his hand. Who were they talking about who'd had sex with whoever Muguruma was?
Yumichika flippantly shrugged the comment off. "Still though, Shuuhei's so gone on Izuru, he should just say something." Ichigo nearly started coughing aloud, having choked on his spit. Shuuhei? Hisagi Shuuhei? Was gay? Gay- gay?
He hardly dared move, not even breathing, reeling from this information. Renji didn't seem surprised by this revelation, which made Ichigo even more confused.
"Even so, I always pinned him for a guy who'd love getting fucked really hard, and Kira probably can't deliver on that. He seems like someone to get drunk and cry with, not fuck upside down." Ichigo had put his hands up to the sides of his pink face by that point, scandalized, not to mention that Renji was just listening at the crack in the door with not much reaction - like some pervert! Doesn't he have any decency to be embarrassed to hear that like Ichigo? Doesn't he have any shame?
"Don't be vulgar," Yumichika scolded.
"Shut up," Ikkaku replied, drunk and belligerent. "How 'bout you come take care'a' this for me?"
Ichigo's mouth dropped open, eyes going wide. Ikkaku had gotten more and more crass with the alcohol, but… did he mean-? That can't be what he meant.
With a sigh, Yumichika said, "Alright, but only to stop you getting unbearably cranky." Ichigo covered his eyes and huddled down, stopping a groan, his face heating up with mortification. Renji crowded against the crack, not shying away in watching openly. What the hell was he doing?! Was he just gonna' watch them... do it?!
"Thanks man," Ikkaku grunted. Ichigo couldn't believe this. He literally cannot cope with this.
"Why are you in a mood all of a sudden, hm?"
"Sorry, I dunno'... I feel like someone's watching."
"How does he know?!" Renji hissed. Ichigo didn't remove his hands from his eyes, teeth tightly gritted together.
"Shall I check under the bed?" Yumichika joked.
"Nah. C'mon, get started."
'Oh please, don't start having sex,' Ichigo begged, stomach clenching up. He already wasn't comfortable with being in someone's house and seeing what they did when nobody was watching, because he had to see and hear that shit. He hadn't imagined that it might be anything like this though. Renji was right - he should've thought ahead.
Ichigo thought he might pass out from how red his face got when he heard Ikkaku curse, "Fuck," hissing, "That feels so good. Yeah, right there." He was groaning and shit, and after a few minutes, said 'thanks.'
"I'm going to brush my teeth," Yumichika said.
Ichigo's mouth was open and he was staring at his hands numbly. What was reality anymore. He couldn't believe he'd just heard that. They were gay. Yumichika and Ikkaku were gay and he'd just heard them do gay stuff.
Renji, having watched the whole thing, finally ducked back down to him and muttered, "It's fine, he was just giving him a backrub… Whoa, are you okay?"
Of course - of course it wasn't what he'd thought. He should have figured that Renji wouldn't watch his precious mentors do gay sex with no human shame, but the knowledge didn't come as a relief, because to Ichigo's utter humiliation, what he'd thought he'd been hearing had still started this unbearable heat in his stomach and made his pants pinch him in front. God, the degree to which this was wrong and disgusting was untold. Ichigo can't stand himself.
He gave Renji a miserable sideglance, then brushed himoff, barely able to speak.
"Fine," he rasped. "'M fine."
Renji didn't seem to believe him - he was having a hard time believing him too - but luckily he was distracted a second later.
"Thanks, that was nice of you," Ikkaku said absently, still playing his game apparently, because a moment later he hollered, "Aw shit, some fucker stole my care package again!"
By then, Ichigo had to pee really bad, to the point where he thought he might have to tell Renji, just in case. He'd suffer in silence for now, but he didn't know how much longer he could hold it.
Ikkaku played video games for ages. Yumichika was splayed on the couch near his tank-top clad roommate, using his laptop and sipping red wine. It was getting seriously aggravating, because Ichigo was about to burst, not to mention that whenever Yumichika got up for anything, Ikkaku would pause his game and complain and call him back. "I need my lucky charm. I start losin' whenever you move away."
'Wow, you must really suck then,' Ichigo thought, gritting his teeth.
"It's all in your head."
"Yeah, yeah, just hang out with me - is that what you wanna' hear?" Yumichika laughed.
'Whoaaa, okay?' Ichigo ground his jaws together. 'So are they homos or not?'
He wasn't completely sure. If he was honest, he probably always had suspected that they were, but he hadn't let himself think about it too hard. Two beds being in one room made sense now, as did their clothes being together. It made sense now, if they were together, how close of friends they were, and that they stayed in the same apartment. In fact, he doesn't think he'd ever seen them apart. If it's true, Ichigo didn't know what to feel other than bitterness.
He can't imagine living that freely.
