Deep in thought, Peyton made the last round, picking up empty beer bottles and discarding them into the proper glass containers. It was almost four in the morning and TRIC was finally empty after a night of dancing, drinking and partying. From the very beginning at the club's birth, she had been there, involved with the planning, helping Karen and Deb. She had even been hired to take charge of Teen Night's special event planning and overall talent booking. From the start, she had done a phenomenal job. The Wreckers, Chris Keller, Jimmy Eat World, Fall Out Boy, Lupe Fiasco, Jack's Mannequin and Nada Surf just to name of the few talented and popular acts she had convinced to make a stop in Tree Hill. But aside from the glamour, when the club needed her behind the scenes, waitresssing non alcoholic beverages, she was there, as things had been running anything but smoothly as Karen Roe was still fired and principal owner, Deb Scott, was in her second rehab stint. Sighing, she wiped down the corner and thanked God they had someone hired to clean the bathroom. It was the last thing she wanted to tackle as she put away the sodas. As she turned she was met with a spray of water, direct from the sink hose, that made her scream out loud.
"Gotcha!" he laughed.
She pretended to be mad but how could she be? Anyway, everyone knew Peyton Sawyer was always up for a decent prank every now and then.
"Gosh, Derek, are you 22 or 2?"
He responded by squirting her again.
"You're such an easy target, Sawyer. You don't even move from the line of fire."
"Stop or you're gonna mess up my hair!" she squealed.
"You're gonna mess up my hair", he mocked, teasing her.
"Derek!"
"Oh have some fun. Is that all you've got?"
She put her hands on her hips and looked around before grabbing the most formidable weapon in sight…lemon wedges. She grabbed a handful and began chasing him around, giggling as she squirted the sour juice on his head.
"Wanna call truce?" she asked.
He put up his hands in defeat.
"Okay, okay. You got me. You win. Besides, my eyes are starting to burn", he laughed.
She handed him a wet wipe for his eyes, feeling slightly guilty. But it was all in fun. Derek was fun and that had been the greatest thing about working with him, she thought as she watched him remove his TRIC tee shirt to wipe his eyes. Tanned muscles oozed from his white wife beater. He may have initially looked skinny in person but underneath, the guy had a killer body.
"Oh shut up. Any excuse to lose the shirt, huh?"
He smirked.
"You know you love it. That's what you'll miss most about Tree Hill. Where are you gonna find abs like this in L.A.?"
"Uh, all over", she smiled. "But I will miss you, Derek."
He came close as they took seats on stools behind the bar.
"Really?" he asked with a hint of seriousness.
Peyton shrugged.
"Of course. I'm gonna miss everybody."
"But why me? I mean, what will you miss most about me?"
"I don't know. You make me laugh and you're silly as hell. I mean, who else is gonna chase me around at like three in the morning with a water hose?"
She smiled and he laughed. God, he loved her smile.
"What else?"
"You're fun and I really like being around you."
"You do?"
"Sure", she nodded. "Derek, you're a very special and important person in my life. I feel like I can tell you anything…"
He swallowed hard. Those words, magic words, he had waited to hear ever since he had met her. So it was true. She felt the exact same way about him. He had known it all along but timing was everything and he'd still had to wait for the perfect moment. Now, after almost a year and a half of longing, he finally had his chance to make the move he had been plotting in his head forever.
"Peyton, I, I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you feel that way. There's something I have to tell you…" he began in a husky voice.
"You're always there for me. Our friendship means to the world to me. You know, with both my moms gone and my dad away a lot and now no Brooke, it's nice to have a friend, a true friend, who is so considerate and loyal. You're like the big brother I never had."
His heart sank. Considerate and loyal? What the hell was she talking about, a puppy? And friend? The way she touched his arm and looked at him…like he was just a friend. And then she had said those two words, two dreaded words no guy wanted to hear from the girl of his dreams. She had said he was a like a "big brother" to her.
"I am?" he cleared his throat.
Peyton smiled warmly.
"Sure you are. And I love you to death for it. Dude, I am seriously gonna miss you."
"Oh", he said flatly.
"Now what were you saying?"
"Huh?"
"You said you had something you wanted to say to me. What was it?"
Derek tried to get his thoughts and words together.
"Oh that. Yeah. Um, it was nothing. I…I just wanted to wish you good luck out in California and say that I'm gonna miss you, too."
"Thank you", she said, hugging him. "That is so sweet."
"You nervous?"
"More like scared out of mind but in a good way. I'm really looking forward to going."
"That's cool but you're gonna do fine."
"Thanks. I hope so."
"You will. So, are you all packed up?" he asked, nervously.
"Yeah. Finally. I'm such a girl. You should see how many bags I have, it's ridiculous. Brooke would be proud, though."
"You two still didn't kiss and make up, huh?"
"Don't think that's gonna happen. Maybe one day. Not today or tomorrow but one day."
"Sorry."
"Me, too but shit happens. I mean, what can you do?"
"Yeah."
"My dad called me. He's so cute, you should have heard him. He's out of town so he's bummed that he won't get to see me off at the airport. Then I could tell he was kind of disappointed when I told him I wasn't gonna call him right away when I got to Los Angeles. I hate worrying him and he was so concerned that I'm catching a taxi to the airport."
"Why? I mean, I could drop you off, Peyton. It's no big deal."
"Oh I appreciate the offer but it's cool. I'll be fine. Plus, if you knew how early I was leaving, you wouldn't be volunteering, trust me."
"I don't mind. I don't care about the time."
"I'll be fine. It, um, it used to be tradition, you know, between Brooke and me…gosh, I don't know how many times we have seen each other off at that airport."
"It would be too weird to have someone else take you?"
"Kind of. I was gonna ask Lucas…"
Derek felt his heart drop for the second time that night. Lucas! Why did it always come back to Lucas?
"Lucas?" he tried to conceal his disdain. "Why him?"
"I don't know."
"Look, Peyton…"
"Derek, can I be honest with you?"
He looked right at her.
"Yeah. Sure. What's up?"
"We're friends, right? I can trust you?"
"Of course."
"Good. I knew I could count on you. See, I did something and no one else knows but I feel like if I don't talk about it, I might explode. You're the only one I can talk to. I can't share this with Haley or Dad and God forbid, Brooke. But I have to tell someone."
"Shoot."
She let out a deep breath.
"I have feelings for Lucas."
Derek's eyes narrowed.
"What kind of feelings?"
"You know", she blushed. "The real kind. The good kind. He's the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning and the last thing at night before I go to bed and geez, like every waking moment in between. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, he makes me blush. I just, I want him. I want to be with him. Derek, I am crazy in love with that boy and I have been for two years."
He chewed the inside of his lips as his fingers tapped loudly against the bar.
"Oh. Well, um two years, that…that's a long time, Peyton."
"Tell me about it. It's been crazy. The timing was just never right, I guess. At first he wanted me but I was with Nathan. Then I wasn't with Nathan but I was at a point then when I was anything but relationship material. By the time I realized my feelings for him, it was too late because he was with Brooke. Then we sort of made out while they were still together and the shit hit the fan. He and Brooke broke up, got back together, for a while I was with Jake and during all this time, every dramatic thing that could have happened in Tree Hill did. But through it all, my feelings stayed. I love him. I love him so much. It's so strange and scary to actually admit all that now but it's the truth."
"I see", Derek looked around. "You, um, you haven't, uh, told him any of this, have you?"
"No. No way. I haven't really told anyone but you."
"Do you plan on it? Telling, Lucas, I mean."
"That, I don't know, which brings me to tell you the thing I did."
"What thing?"
Peyton sighed.
"Well, the other night I was alone and contemplating life and you know how that is. Anyway, I made a recording."
"What kind of recording?"
"Not on my web cam like usual. I actually used my digital recorder I had for school. And I spent nearly a half hour recording all my inner most thoughts and personal feelings."
"Sort of like an unopened letter to the world, huh?" he half joked.
"More like an unopened letter to Lucas."
"What?"
"I told him everything, Derek."
The male blonde looked uneasy.
"Did you give it to him?"
"No. Not yet."
"Not yet? So that means you are going to give it to him?"
"I don't know. That was the plan. I'm just terrified of it. Once I do and he hears that, then it changes everything. There is no going back. And that's why I wanted to talk to you. I need your advice. You have an unbiased opinion. What should I do, Derek?"
He shuffled in his seat.
"Um, I don't know, Peyton…"
"Please help me."
"Have you, uh, thought about this at all?"
"Of course I have. I've thought that maybe he might not feel the same way and I'd be crushed and humiliated and our friendship would be so awkward after that. Then I thought, hey, maybe, just maybe, he might have feelings for me, too and that makes me so happy that it scares me half to death. Then I get all paranoid that something bad would happen and we'd break up and he'd leave just like everybody else. In case you haven't noticed it, I'm a complete basket case."
"No, you're not, Peyton. Um, all that is stuff to think about."
"So what do you think?"
"About what?"
Peyton rolled her eyes and hit him.
"About everything I just said. What should I do? Should I tell him everything? Do I give him the recorder?"
"I don't know."
"What would you do?"
Derek thought for a minute.
"I don't know, Peyton. It's a very tricky, touchy subject. Two years. Two whole years. Months and months of loving someone. Watching their every move, wishing you were with them. Having your heart physically ache when they were with someone else. Being friends with them and looking in their eyes just wishing they could read your mind and know how much you love them. It's hard. It's a big step, a huge gamble to put your heart on the line like that. You could really get hurt. I mean, it could work out for the best and you might end up with that person but if it doesn't work out, then what do you do from there? So you have to make a choice. Do you continue to watch and love them from afar or do you actually have the guts to go for it?"
"Wow. It's like you read my mind. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you'd gone through something like this yourself."
"Can I be honest with you, Peyton?"
"Please."
"I like Lucas. He's a nice guy."
"Yeah…"
"I really feel it's possible for two people to have a strong soul connection but a relationship? Sometimes, it's just not in the cards, not meant to be no matter how much one person may want it."
"What are you saying?"
"Look, I care about you and I don't want to hurt your feelings but based on everything that has happened and everything you told me, it just doesn't sound like it would really work for you and Lucas. It actually seems like you two are better off just as friends."
"Friends?" she gulped.
"Yeah, but that's just my opinion. I mean, I've seen Lucas around. Like I said, he's a nice guy and all but he's still a guy. And he's young. He's been tied down with Brooke off and on for the past two years and now he's gonna have more responsibility at home when his mom has another kid in a few months. What I'm saying is, when does he have time to just chill out, have fun and be a normal 18 year old guy? Lucas isn't looking for commitment, that's the last thing he needs. And I'm afraid you would get hurt in the process. You two have an awesome friendship and I don't want to see that ruined. Do you, Peyton?"
"No, I…"
"Ultimately, it's your decision but you want to know what I thought, so I told you. I hope you're not mad."
"At you? Derek, never. Thank you. I appreciate you listening and being honest with me."
"Did it help with your decision? What are you going to do?"
Peyton shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't know. Tomorrow is my last night in town and I had planned on seeing him to say good bye. I have no idea what's gonna happen or what I might say or do. I guess I'll just have to wing it, see how I feel tomorrow night and how everything is going."
Derek nodded.
"Well, good luck."
"Thanks. But in the meantime, I guess this here is our swan song."
"What?"
"It's the last night we'll ever work together or even hang out for a while. I might not get to see you again before I leave and if I don't, I just wanted to say good bye. It has been so fun working together and hanging out. You are awesome and sweet and crazy as hell and I had a lot of fun. You've been a great friend to me, Derek, when I really, really needed one. I will miss you and I can't wait to see you in a few months."
She stood and walked over and gave him a big hug. His body shivered when her arms wrapped around his neck and his own hands quivered as he returned her embrace. God, her body felt so warm. God, she was beautiful. She had to be the most beautiful girl in the world. He would have given anything to have her be his. Two years was a long time to wait for anyone, he thought as he inhaled the delicious scent of her blonde hair.
"I'm gonna miss you, too, Peyton."
