Chapter 2: Pareidolia (ˌpæraɪˈdəʊlɪə)
The imagined perception of a pattern or meaning where it does not actually exist.
November 15, 2002
Merlin's beard! Harry Bloody Potter is on my bed. The boy is alive! Seven years have passed and now he returns. Where has he been? Why is he so battered? What could have possibly caused his magic to deplete to such a low level, such a dangerous level? And why the fuck did he look like he had not aged a day? That was so unfair!
Severus Tobias Snape could not, not even to save his life, think of a time when his thoughts contained such profane terms. Or the last time he had been so gobsmacked. Gobsmacked, what the he'll is wrong with me? That is not of import but the reason for it is! His Harry, his best friend, his closest friend, one of the few people he had allowed to know his true thoughts, opened up to about his feelings was suddenly there before him, very much ALIVE! The shock of seeing Harry, alive, after so long, continued to plague him, but receded to the back of his mind allowing for confusion, hurt, betrayal and lastly anger to come to the forte...
He had allowed Harry bloody Potter into his life; he gifted him with friendship and gave him his trust. He should have known better. He should have known that the boy wouldn't appreciate it, they never did. The last time he'd allowed someone to enter his life, be of meaning to him, she had turned her back on him and chose his nemesis for a husband. That betrayal was the chief reason contributing into turning him into a bitter man, an unapproachable frosty bat, that is until a certain eleven year old bigoted brat came along, successfully flared his temper, lost him his composure and later on mellowed his frigid demeanor, though not many would agree on the latter. The boy had successfully wormed his way into my life, established his presence there over the years as a consistent pain in the arse, and only when I had finally accepted his presence, function and the value he added to it, he upped and disappeared without a sign or farewell.
Harry Potter was later on presumed dead, after all no one could find -it-all Granger hypothesized that the hurcrux that had lain with him had destroyed his body, made it decay slowly, after the killing curse was cast upon the boy, that was one explanation. But this explanation was discarded in favor of another. The most notorious explanation, which just happens to be the most accepted, is that Potter had simply given up after weathering a difficult life. He had been after all living under the strain of the expectation of the whole wizarding population, of at least the United Kingdom, and had been thrus into the role of Boy-Who-Lived at the mere age of eleven, the same year he was informed of his parents' true fate and the existence of magic. Then there was the burden of knowing the truth of his godfather's innocence and his incapability to prove it. But it was popularly posited, after people came to believe in the circumstances of Voldemorte's reincarnation, Pettigrew's betrayal and Sirius Black's innocence, that what broke that you man was his witnessing the death of a friend at the age of fourteen, and his godfather, the closest thing to a true family he had, at the age of fifteen. Added to all this, the boy probably couldn't take the tremendous pain he was suffering through, elicited from the numerous curses and hexes that had been sent in his direction during the battle, having the killing curse cast upon him twice in his short eighteen years in this world couldn't have helped. So it was the logical, and somewhat unanimous decision that Potter had broken down under all the stress, choosing to end his life as a means to stop his suffering. And as expected, the esteemed establishment, known as the Ministry of Magic, completely supported this explanation, attempting to undermine Potter's role in the war, trying their best to portray the Wizarding World's Savior as nothing short of a normal human being with no extraordinary abilities, one admittedly with weaknesses and faults that would make any 'normal', law abiding wizard appear as, what Muggles call, a saint. They even went so far as to attribute to him vices as to overcome his multiple virtues. Yet, many of the wizarding population chose to believe the Ministry, for one, they argued, the Ministry's explanation as completely logical, the other reason behind many people's belief in this explanation, no Severus, I kept telling myself, try to give them the benefit of the doubt, they are not stupid sheep who follow whichever shepherd that comes around the bend, can be very accurately attributed to the lack of belief in the presence of hurcruxes to begin with, not many who were not affiliated with the Dark Arts, and many of who were, could fathom the existence of such dark objects or the possibility that one would go so far as to break his own soul into parts as to ensure his survival in case he somehow met an untimely demise, by his calculations of course.
But all those claims and explanations did meant nothing, not with Potter lying there in his room, on his bed, clearly alive, even if barely. He couldn't help but think that the boy had abandoned him, just like his mother had done years before him. But why? He could understand why Lily had done it, even though he didn't justify her betrayal, but he had forgiven her years ago, and lived his life trying to atone the injury he had inadvertently, though unknowingly, caused her. She had been his best friend, his only friend, always trying to help and protect him from that same man she ended up leaving him for. He knew he was much at fault as well. He hadn't taken too kindly to Lily's relationship with that bigoted Gryffindor fool. But Harry? He found no reason for the boy to abandon him in such a way, at least not anything he could understand. He had thought the boy content with their friendship, that he had enjoyed the camaraderie they had shared as Severus had done, for he has seemed to genuinely like spending time with Severus.
Come to think of it, the only logical explanation as to why the boy would abandon him in such a way was that the boy was using him, befriending him like many others had done simply to exploit his knowledge and many talents. But no... What if Potter had never meant to leave me...? No he would have left a note in such a case. But if he had truly meant to abandon him, then why return? And why now? Severus was starting to get a headache caused by the disarray of his thoughts and the constant arguments he was conducting with none other than himself since he had found the boy at his doorstep, covered in blood and bearing injuries beyond what anyone could imagine humanly possible to survive. He had been, and still was, so confused, but he shouldn't have been so surprised. The boy never failed to surprise or confuse him, or generally get under his skin no matter what he did in the past, so why would that change so many years later, and the fact that he was unconscious wouldn't pause any hindrance to boy wonder...
When he finally got his bearings together, he checked on the boy one last time, put up a spell that will inform him whenever Potter woke up. He then headed to his study where he took out a book he had been reading earlier that day, and lay down on his extremely comfortable sofa, attempting to relax after what felt like an extremely long, exhausting day. He lay down attempting to get comfortable for what promised to be an even longer and more exhausting night.
