Hey readers, sorry this took so long! There's really not much for me to say about this chapter except that I love making Spike sound like a total toolbag and my past disclaimers still stand true. Peace out, and leave a review if you're cool! ;)


Goombario's POV

Dude, have you really resorted to this just you wanna impress some girl? Isn't there a better way that won't destroy what little dignity you have?

Ignoring the voice in my head that warns me against what I'm about to do, I check to make sure that the coast is clear and then duck behind the bulletin board outside of Merlin's house. As I lean against it, panting, the voice returns, this time more urgent.

Come on man, think about this. What would Goombaria think if she knew?

I quickly shake the thought out of my head. When has my little sister's opinion ever mattered to me, anyway? If my life was in her hands (metaphorically speaking) …well, I won't dwell on that thought.

I turn my attention to the bulletin board looming above me and am greeted with an assortment of vulgar words and romantic confessions. I grip my pencil in between my chattering teeth and carefully scrawl my desperate plea among them.

Look, I got invited to a dance tomorrow night and I need help asking this girl I like...

Mortified, I quickly scribble out the word "like" and replace it with "know." I can practically hear Goombaria laughing in my ear. "You're such an idiot," she would say with an obnoxious smirk on her face. "Just tell her how you feel and get over it."

Oh, kind of like what you did with my best friend? my mind mutters bitterly. I immediately berate myself for the thought. I'm happy for Goombaria, I really am, but sometimes the way she gets all googly-eyed whenever I mention Kooper's name is a tad bit annoying, not to mention awkward. The truth is, I sort of envy the way she has no trouble whatsoever expressing her feelings and the way things just always seem to work out for her... not that she'll ever know that, of course. Knowing my sister, she's probably off with Kooper now, plotting a way to "help" me express myfeelings for Bombette.

Bombette. My stomach twists into knots just thinking about her. While I've never really been the hopeless romantic type, there's just something about that girl that makes my heart race whenever I think about her. Small, pink and dangerous are the three best words I can think of to describe her, not to mention clever. It was her quick thinking and explosive temper that got us out of the dungeon in Koopa Fortress.

To most people Bombette may seem like nothing more than a spunky firecracker, but she also has a soft side that not many have gotten to witness. I'm one of the few that she's ever been vulnerable with, back when our adventure first started and Mario was seriously injured after taking a nasty fall from one of Mt. Rugged's many cliffs. After making sure Mario got safely to the inn in Fahr Fahr Outpost, our troupe (which consisted then of only me, Bombette, Kooper and Parakarry) took a break in the nearby oasis. After scarfing down five ripe limes, I noticed Bombette crying by the water hole. I approached her carefully and tentatively asked if she was alright, and she suddenly broke down and in between her sobs confessed to me that she hated feeling helpless because it reminded her of the night her parents died and she wasn't able to do anything about it. After a few minutes of awkward silence she finally calmed down and accepted the lime I offered her, and we returned to the rest of the group like nothing happened.

That was the first and only time I've ever seen Bombette cry. I think that memory still frightens her, because after that episode she made sure to keep all of the partners at arm's length, me in particular. Even after suffering a minor concussion from a blow to the head by Bowser during our final battle, she still kept a brave face on. Part of me admires her for it, but part of me is also bothered by the fact that she refuses to show any sign of weakness.

Gah, too much thinking. I resume writing my message.

Yeah, so I wanna be creative and romantic and all that, but I'm not really good at that sort of stuff. Advice, anyone? ~G

I finish and survey my work with a strange sort of hope as well as a terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, there's no turning back now, the voice sighs. You've officially made your mark on Toad Town's Graffiti Corner along with the other desperate losers of society. Congratulations, big boy.

"Aw, shut up," I mumble aloud. Ignoring the stares from strangers that my outburst has earned me, I casually stroll from behind the bulletin board and make my way towards Toad Town's south side, pondering over the recent events that have taken place in my life.

I pause to watch a local Toad girl caring for her flowers. After dousing the soil around them with water, she coos and strokes the flowers' petals like they're delicate newborns and begins humming a lullaby-like tune.

The thought of Bombette ever owning a garden, much less talking to its inhabitants, causes me to chuckle. I immediately regret it when the girl's cheeks turn the same shade of red as her roses, and I hurriedly make my way back to the Graffitti Corner before she can turn around. I'm surprised when I arrive to find that someone has already replied to my message.

Hey G, I'm in the same cloud as you and I've got a pretty good idea of who I'm talking to. Meet me by the pier when you see this, that cool with you broski? If not, come anyway, punk. ~S

My mouth goes dry and my heart leaps into my throat. That lazily zigzagged initial is all too familiar. But it can't... it can't be him, can it?

Way to go, pal. Genius move there, making your pathetic-ness public to all of Toad Town. I hope you're proud of yourself. The voice continues to mock me as I slowly make my way towards the pier, dread building in my gut with every step I the correspondent is who I think it is, then the shame I know I'll face when he sees me is unbearable to imagine, but as the voice said earlier, there's no turning back now.

It's nearly impossible to hear myself think above the commotion surrounding the pier. Crying babies, chattering tourists and cursing sailors swarm about, bumping into each other and forgetting to apologize in their rush to buy tickets for the Big Blue Whale Express. Ever since Mario's return from LavaLava island and the discovery of a new vacation spot, the popularity of Toad Town's wharf had skyrocketed. Maybe that's why whoever responded to my message chose this place to meet- it's easy to get lost in the crowd and two guys consulting each other for advice concerning their love interests won't seem so unusual compared to some of the other wacky stuff that goes on around here.

"Goombario!"

I turn at the sound of my name and am immediately enveloped in what feels like a giant wad of damp cotton candy.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down there Puffy, we don't wanna suffocate our love guru." I groan inwardly. The muffled voice is unmistakable. It really is him.

Puffy the cloud releases me from his affectionate embrace and my cheeks flare up with embarrassment when I'm met with a pair of familiar black shades and cocky grin. "Uh... hey Spike," I mumble, wishing I could evaporate into thin air like the raindrops from his cloud.

The grin on Lakilester's face widens and he wallops me painfully on the back. "How's it goin' bro?" he exclaims. Surprisingly I don't detect any sign of false enthusiasm from him.

"Pretty good," I reply guardedly, wondering if I'm being led on. Maybe I'm on some sort of reality prank show and a camera-toting Lakitu will show up any minute now to expose my pathetic-ness to the entire Mushroom Kingdom.

Lakilester's smile disappears, and for the first time I can remember the look on his face is one of gloom. "Hey man, I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Word on the street is you're having girl troubles too, am I right?"

"Uh... too?" I repeat dumbly. Did I just hear him right?

"Yeah I know, hard to believe right? I mean, you wouldn't think that a guy like me would have any trouble with the ladies." Lakilester winked under his sunglasses. "Haha, just messing with you bro."

Somehow I doubted that, but I let him go on without interruption for fear that he would lose his train of thought in that slightly swollen head of his.

Lakilester suddenly switches the focus to me. "So anyway, who's this little lass you're tryna woo, huh? Don't tell me you're still goin' after that pink Bob-omb girl... Bombaria, right?"

"Bombette," I correct him, a little too much sharpness in my voice.

"Right, sorry 'bout that bro," Lakilester says, brushing aside my correction like it's a Winged Buzzy. "Anyway, me and my girl Lulu are still goin' strong, but knowing her, she'll probably spaz out and strike me with lightning or something if I don't treat this whole askin'-her-to-the-dance thing like it's a proposal or something, so I gotta make sure it's special. You know what I'm sayin'?"

I'm speechless. Lakilester, however, is undaunted by my lack of verbal response.

"Yeah so, I was thinkin' that me and you could do a little brainstormin', toss some ideas around, and come up with a bangin' way to ask our girls to this shindig. Whaddya say, pal? Are we in this together?"

I nod numbly. This is too much for me to take in at once. Lakilester, the self-proclaimed god of good lucks and charisma, is actually asking for my help with females? There's got to be some kind of mistake. I shrug helplessly at the look of anticipation on his face. "Where do we start?"

Lakilester sighs and plops his glum-looking cloud on the ground beside me, then props his chin against his fist. "I say we start with some serious thinking. Unfortunately, that's not something I do a whole lot of." He guffaws at himself. "Only joking, bro."

Oh how I wish.

Parakarry's POV

Dear Journal,

Have I ever told you how much I love my job? I mean, seriously, what other job lets you travel to exotic lands just to hand someone a flimsy envelope and actually PAYS you for it? Not gonna lie, it's pretty flippin' awesome.

However, being the Mushroom Kingdom's only postal serviceman does have its downfalls, and one of them is the fact that I have to deliver EVERYWHERE, no matter how long or treacherous the journey to certain places may be. More than once I've returned from Shiver City with frostbite, Fahr Fahr Outpost with intense sun poisoning, Flower Fields with a severe case of allergies... the list goes on.

But I have to say, the trip to Boo Mansion definitely takes the cake.

First of all there's the Forever Forest, which is like a giant maze that's grossly populated by blood-sucking Fuzzies and flesh-eating Pirahna Plants. That trip alone takes me a good two or three days to get through, and seldom do I come out of it without quite a few battle wounds.

While the atmosphere may seem safer, it certainly doesn't get any less creepy around Boo Mansion. In fact, I would even dare to say it becomes more so. Just the sight of the ancient castle-like house gives me goosebumps, and there's always some sort of bone-chilling howling or moaning coming from the surrounding trees. Even the wind has a menacing whisper to it that sends shivers throughout my shell.

And don't even get me started on the mansion's inhabitants. Boos are, in my opinion, the worst sort of creatures that has ever existed. Nasty, mischievous ghosts that seize every opportunity they can find to scare the living crap out of you, and considering the fact that they possess ginormous tongues and razor-like teeth they almost always succeed. I try to avoid eye contact as best I can when delivering their mail to them, which of course I have to do personally since they can't open their mailbox. Who in their right mind sends letters to these terrifying little devils is what I want to know.

...Oh right, that's me.

B-but see, I don't count! Lady Bow, she's... she's different. She's mature, and cute, and dignified, and cute, and respectful, and lovely, and cute… and did I mention that she's cute?

So yes, she is an exception my anti-Boo rule. Although I was a little wary of her when I first met her, what with the whole holding the fourth Star Spirit captive until we defeated Tubba Blubba thing, her manipulatively adorable ways soon grew on me, and my awkward bumbling ones on her. Since our adventuring days with Mario the two of us have continued to maintain a pretty regular correspondence, and while nothing's official, I think it's fairly safe to say that we're considered a couple by most of our friends. Which of course, I don't mind in the least. However, there is one drawback to our relationship, and that is...

...Bootler.

Bootler's this really old Boo that's like a grandfather to Bow. He's constantly nagging her about how she needs to stop "neglecting her duties to her people" (for crying out loud, what is she, a PRINCESS? Well yes, in my eyes she is, but that's beside the point) and treating her like she's a child or, in Bow's words, "like she just recently died." I don't know how in the Mushroom Kingdom she puts up with him. And for some reason he's dead (haha, Boo pun) set against our relationship. My theory for this is A) he thinks that our relationship is "distracting" Bow from her "duties", or B) he has something against the living. Bow on the other hand thinks he's just grumpy because it's been five hundred years and he still hasn't been able to find a soulmate (literally). Which, of course, is none of my business.

But here's where it becomes problematic: Bow, being the old-fashioned woman she is, insists that I get Bootler's permission before asking her to the dance.

...Uh, what?

Doesn't she know how terrified I am of that guy? Okay, I'll admit it, the way I described him earlier made him sound pretty pathetic. But to be honest, he scares me. Those shifty little eyes, that perfectly parted hairdo, that manner so reserved it's menacing... it gives me the creeps. I can handle Lady Bow's occasional childlike tantrums. What I can't handle is that guy staring me down whenever I get within ten feet of her as though challenging me to take one wingflap further. Bow won't admit it, but I know he's got it out for me.

And yet I still have to ask this guy face-to-face if I can go with my unofficial girlfriend to her own dance. If not, she'll refuse to go with me. But if I ask and he says no, then that's the end of that.

What's a poor postman to do?