On the outskirts of Middleton, a certain blue-skinned erstwhile villain was once again surveying his freshly destroyed lair. But this time it had not been wrecked by his teen nemesis Kim Possible, nor her sidekick boyfriend, but by his onetime ally, Warmonga.
"Well, Shego, I suppose we should rebuild ... again. I'm just not at all sure why now, or where we should go from here."
"What's that, Dr. D?" Shego was in the remains of her room, searching for anything salvageable. After years of one destroyed lair after another, she had learned that she needed to keep anything of value far away from any of Drakken's abodes. This time had been no different. And yet, she had an inkling that this might be the last lair that would end up being gutted for a long time, at the least for the time being.
Dr. Drakken continued his plaintive meanderings. "Well, I had always hoped to eventually take over the world, but now I ended up, uh, saving it instead."
"But not without the sidekick's help, Dr. D." Shego replied. Whoa. Dr. D and Stoppable saving the world, and not little Miss Priss for once. Who would've ever guessed that?
"Yes, of course, the sidekick ..." He desperately tried to remember Ron's name, but as usual came up short. "Yes, Rob was quite a bit of help taking out the Lorwardians while I took care of their battle robots."
Shego sighed. "That's Ron. His name is Ron. Ron Stoppable. I'm sure there's some deep-rooted psychological reason why you can't remember his name."
"Now, don't get lippy, Shego. I'm just glad that for once we were all on the same side. And we won, didn't we?"
Shego gave him a rare, thoughtful look. "Yeah, we did. The sidekick really did step up, monkey-style, and your Super High Pollinator mutagen took care of the rest." One of Drakken's tendrils began to wrap itself around Shego's waist. "Hey! What did I tell you about getting fresh?" She lit a hand in warning.
Immediately backing off, Drakken apologized. "Sorry, Shego. My vines seem to have a mind of their own."
Shego shot back, "Yeah, well watch it. It really spooks me out when you do that."
She continued to rummage through the debris. Then she found what she had been looking for. She picked up the last remaining plasma-singed photo and thought back to when it had been taken, so many months ago. That modified Attitudinator had briefly turned her from evil into good, allowing her and Kim to become real friends for the first and only time. Her face softened as she remembered the day they had their pictures taken in that photo booth. Then she pursed her lips in a brief display of ... what? Anger? And over what? That a friendship had developed between her and her avowed enemy? Or anger that it had been taken away by the same device that had allowed that friendship to develop in the first place? While presently still her evil self, she realized that she could never do "nice," even though recent events had turned her former adversaries into brief allies. She heaved a big sigh.
She also felt frustration. Although she and Drakken had in one sense finally won after so many failures, they hadn't won in the way that they had originally planned. Since they had saved the world instead of conquering it, she and Drakken were now laughingstocks in the world of villainy, if not pariahs. Furthermore, Drakken seemed to be putting the moves on her, at least with those pesky vines of his. Both facts left her with an unsettling feeling. And Shego hated feeling unsettled. Drakken had hired her as a sidekick and given her a job, and a purpose. Now she really had neither, and she didn't like it. No, she didn't like it one bit. And then there was that disturbing piece of information she had found out last week regarding Kim. Did Kim know? Probably not. But she didn't feel she should be the one to tell her. More secrets, more lack of resolution to gnaw at her gut. She let out another slow sigh of frustration.
But at least she still had Drakken. Whoa. Where did that thought come from? Yeah, her relationship with Drakken had rarely stepped out of professional bounds, but when it had, she always chalked it up to one too many times under the influence of that damn Moodulator. She had never given that brief crush a second thought, but now with Dr. D's flirty vines ... No. This is just wrong. He's old enough to be my father, for crying out loud. Shego suddenly realized that Drakken had been droning on for several minutes about something and that she hadn't heard a word that he'd said.
"... I guess it was after the third time that Butch stuck my head in the boy's room toilet back in the third grade that I knew I couldn't outfight those bullies, but I could outthink them." Dr. Drakken chuckled evilly to himself. "Yes, my revenge on Butch got me a month's detention, but it was well worth it." Drakken's flower petals popped out around his head in an expression of that joyful memory.
Shego quickly offered up a word of thanks to whatever powers that be that she hadn't heard more of that story. Her stomach then started to growl, reminding her that it had been some time since she last ate.
"Well Dr. D, I don't know about you, but I need to get something to eat. There's not much edible here at the moment. Can I pick you up something?"
"No thanks, Shego. I just had a shamrock shake which should tide me over for the moment."
"A shamrock shake? From McDoogle's?"
"No, Shego, real shamrocks. There was a little ice cream left over in the fridge, and I just had this craving for some shamrocks for some strange reason. Would you care for some?"
Shego's stomach did a flip as she turned just a shade greener than her usual skin tone. "Uh, no thanks, Dr. D, I'll pass. I'm in the mood for something a little more palatable."
Her gag reflex quickly passed as she made her way to the door. She hopped in the aircar and started it up.
"Well, let's see if the GPS can bring up any restaurants that are still standing." Her fingers flashed over the keyboard as the home pages of several local establishments holographically appeared before her in midair. She ticked each one off in order.
"Hmm. Wrecked. Blown up. Under repair. Out of business. Blippity blip, blip. Jeez Louise, isn't anything open at all? You'd think the Lorwardian plan of attack was to take out as many fast-food joints as possible." One home page still flashed green.
"Cow-'n-Chow? Oh, brother. Has it come to that?" She sighed as she set course for the eatery.
Ron was glad Cow-'n-Chow had extended their hours, particularly since it was practically the only fast-food place in Middleton still standing. He stepped into the restaurant and was immediately met by a very long line of extremely hungry customers.
"Oh, man, this tanks! It figures though, I guess. Huh, Rufus ol' buddy?"
Rufus just perched on Ron's shoulder and shrugged in dismay.
Ron continued, "Yeah, what are you going to do ..."
"... When it's the only place open in town?"
The sultry voice from behind Ron made the blood freeze in his veins. He turned quickly around.
"Sh-Shego? What are you doing here?"
"Hey, villains gotta eat too. Ya ever think about that?"
"Well, yeah, but usually not at the same place I'm eating at exactly the same time."
Shego lowered her eyebrows and grinned menacingly. "What, you think you're too good to rub elbows with a girl like me in a place like this?"
Rufus quickly popped back into Ron's pocket for safety while Ron swiftly backpedaled. "No! That's not what I meant! It's just a little hard for me to think of you doing something so ... uh, mundane."
"Yeah, well I put my bodysuit on one leg at a time, just like every other ... oh. I see what you mean. Speaking of which, you didn't lose your drawers like you usually have in the past when you fought Warhok and Warmonga. That was some impressive fighting, by the way. I hope I won't have to go up against you for awhile, Kimmie notwithstanding."
Ron could barely believe what he was hearing. Kudos from Shego? "Gee, thanks. Uh, that's quite a compliment, especially coming from you."
"Well, I'm just glad that Drakken and I weren't on the receiving end of that display. What was all that, anyway?"
"Mystical Monkey Power."
Shego quickly covered her mouth as she stifled a laugh. "Sorry. Obviously it's very powerful mojo, but it sounds so ... well, silly. Just out of curiosity, can you call up your power as easily as I can light my plasma?"
Ron was nearly speechless. Standing in a fast-food place with Shego of all people, and talking shop about their mutual super powers. "Uh, well, it comes and goes, really. It usually activates only when I really need it. And with Warhok, I really needed it."
"Uh huh, I saw that. And I'm no slouch when it comes to martial arts styles, but I didn't quite recognize your particular brand. I'm used to Kimmie's sixteen styles of Kung Fu, but yours was definitely a step up from what I'm used to."
"Oh yeah. It's called Tai Shing Pek Kwar. Monkey Kung Fu."
"Beijing Tech War? Uh-huh. And that blue glow. Last time I saw that was when you went all evil, and became ... what was your alter-ego's name? Zorpox, wasn't it?"
Ron wasn't particularly happy about that memory, when the Attitudinator was used to transfer all of his good into Drakken and all of Drakken's evil into Ron, turning him into a super villain of unprecedented ability. Ron simply nodded in acknowledgement.
Shego smiled. "Well, just so long as you don't try to take over the world again. One blue-skinned villain at a time is enough for this planet, I think."
Ron started to relax a little, and even Rufus carefully peeked out of his pocket, tentatively sniffing Shego to see if it was really her and not one of Drakken's synthodrones. Still, Ron sensed that something wasn't quite right.
"Uh, Shego, I hope you don't mind me saying, but you seem to be awfully interested in my abilities. You're not trying to pump me for info in case we go head to head in combat sometime, are you?"
"Actually, no." Shego then grinned like the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland. "But that's not a bad idea, come to think of it. You never know when a little info like that might come in handy." Her smile disappeared as she continued. "Besides, Ron, you did fight the two most powerful beings I've ever encountered. And killed them."
Shego's observation was suddenly interrupted as the PA system switched on and the restaurant manager began speaking.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are honored to be serving two world heroes this evening, and unless anyone has any objections, we'd like to allow them to step to the head of the line. Let's have a round of applause for Ron Stoppable and his sidekick, Shego!"
The entire restaurant burst into cheers and applause. Ron however looked absolutely mortified. At first, Shego looked insulted to be introduced as Ron's sidekick, but then took one look at Ron's face, who was obviously petrified at the thought of what she might do next. She then did the only thing she could do under the circumstances. She burst out laughing. Ron's expression slowly turned from one of abject fear into a sheepish smile.
"Well, sport, it looks like our reputations have caught up with us. Better get used to it." Shego continued to chuckle. "And you should have seen the expression on your face when they announced me as your sidekick. I thought you might pass out from fright right then and there."
As they both stepped to the front of the line, Ron's expression had again turned from a sheepish smile to one of beaming pride, as he basked in the limelight of public recognition. "Well, Sheeg, I guess the world is finally beginning to recognize my essential Ronness."
Shego suddenly halted. In a dangerous tone, she said under her breath, "Your essential ... what? And don't call me 'Sheeg' unless you want to suddenly become flame-broiled, Mr. Mystical Monkey Master."
Ron's sheepish expression returned in an instant as they stepped up to the counter. The manager was beaming from ear to ear as he personally served the two celebrities. "Well, what will it be? And it's on the house: it's the least we can do to say thank you for saving the world."
Ron deferred to Shego, bowing ever so slightly as he said, "Ladies first."
Shego grimaced slightly as she replied, "That's sweet, Ron, but I'm no lady." She turned to the manager to place her order. "I'll take a Walloper with everything on it, but hold the onions. And medium fries, a side salad, and a diet soda. A girl has to watch her figure, y'know. Don't you agree?"
Shego lowered her eyebrows as she delivered her last sentence in a slightly threatening tone, as she had noticed the manager surreptitiously checking her out. Not surprisingly, she thought. It was one of the many reasons she wore her form-fitting catsuit. And she enjoyed making men feel a little uncomfortable when she caught them ogling her. And this manager was no exception. Beads of sweat had broken out on his forehead as he replied, "Of course, Ms. Shego!"
"No, just Shego." Then she smiled as charmingly as possible as she asked, "And may I have that to go, please?"
The manager hastily rang up the order. "Could I also interest you in a milkshake? In honor of Dr. Drakken, our Flavor-of-the-Month is ... Shamrock!"
Shego felt suddenly queasy again as she felt her hurl factor rapidly approaching. "No, uh, what I ordered is just fine, thanks."
The manager then turned to Ron. "And what can I get for you, sir?"
Ron pondered for a moment. "Uh, one Walloper with extra cheese, grande-sized ..."
The manager gave Ron a quizzical look.
"Oops, sorry. Force of habit. Make that one double Walloper with extra cheese, large fries and a soda. And what did Kim want? Oh yeah. One regular Walloper with everything on it, but hold the onions. And medium fries, a side salad, and a diet soda."
Shego's eyebrows shot up. That was the same thing she'd ordered. Hmm. Figures.
The manager kept his focus on Ron, carefully averting any eye contact with Shego. "Coming right up, sir!" In a few moments, the orders were bagged and ready. Ron thanked him as he and Shego made their way to the door.
Ron took a deep breath. "Sooo. What are your plans now, Shego?"
Shego tensed up as she cocked an eyebrow. "In what way?"
"Well, now that you and Drakken have gone straight, uh, how are you guys gonna keep busy?"
Thankful that Ron hadn't been suggesting she come back to his place to enjoy dinner with Kimmie and crew, she merely gave an offhand response. "We, uh, really haven't talked about it. I think I need a vacation from all this, though. Never have been one to like being in the spotlight." Of any kind, prison searchlights in particular, she thought. "And I've got lots to think over."
Ron smiled. "Well, thanks again for your help in defeating Warhok and Warmonga. Oh, and uh, thanks for those roses last month. That Moodulator tech sure did mess with our minds a little, didn't it? Heh-heh. I'm glad we all made it back in one piece after that Pan-Dimensional Vortex sitch." Ron hesitated a moment. "You weren't, uh, planning to take that any further, or tell Kim about the roses, are you? That would be real awkweird."
Ron recalled the note Shego had left on his doorstep with the roses, one black, the other green.
"Thanks for the kiss. Moodulator or not, I really had wanted to do that for a long time."
Shego smiled like the cat that had just swallowed the canary. "Mmm ... no. Should I?"
"Well, since she's my girlfriend, not such a good idea. Note. Serious. Face. She and I are real tight now, and she'd really start jellin' if she knew about that note. Probably to the point of bodily harm for you and me both, in spite of the fact that it was you putting the moves on me." Ron was then struck by a terrible thought. "Uh, you weren't really serious about that, were you? That would just be so ... wrongsick."
Shego laughed. "Well, I kinda was at the time. But really just jerking your chain a little, sport. As unbelievable as it is to the rest of the world, I know you and little Miss Priss really are an item, and I'm not about to do anything to raise her hackles." Especially now, she thought. "Besides, I have ... well, a new respect for you since last week. The Ronster has grown up. So congrats. Now if I could just get Dr. D's vines to behave themselves ..."
Ron's eyebrows shot up. "Whoa! Dr. D's tendrils putting the moves on you? Wait'll Kim hears about this!"
He was cut off by a whoosh of freshly-lit plasma. "Bad idea, Monkey Boy. Let's just say we keep our mutual secrets to ourselves, hmm?"
Ron smiled weakly as she powered down her plasma. "Uh, good plan. Well, good luck Shego. I hope you have a nice vacation. And, uh, if you ever need to talk ..."
"Yeah, I know. Call you, beep you, if I want to reach you. Urghh. I've always hated that line."
Shego hopped into her aircar, and Ron watched her as she sped off into the distance.
"Wow. Acknowledgement from the world, free food, and now respect from Shego. Pinch me, Rufus ol' buddy! Just to make sure I'm not asleep."
As Ron hopped onto his scooter, Rufus thought to himself, "You're not asleep, my dear friend, but you may soon wish that you were ..."
Well, it seems that secrets and mysteries abound, and from some unexpected quarters. An enigma wrapped in a riddle nestled in a crunchy naco of mystery ... When everything is eventually revealed, how will everyone react? And if you're wondering what the background is on Shego's note to Ron, see the James Blond chapters (or at least the Epilogue) to my first story, Failure Is The Only Option. Update soon.
