I faced him squarely, my hands empty, wishing I had something resembling an ace in the hole to make the contest a little more even. Even if I used my gift it wouldn't do much good, given that even if I did know his weakness, he's still a god and I'm an aging British shamus who works out with his pregnant fiancé twice a week and does a lot of walking. And even if I did somehow kill him, and got away from Etrigan, I'd still be in exactly the same situation. The odds were beyond stacked against me, you have to know when to fold them. Discretion was the better part of valour. Over-used gambling metaphors aside, that was much easier said then done.

"Well, I'd tell you to go to hell, Darkseid, but as far as I can see, that would be pretty much redundant." I all but spat. Defiance is a wonderful thing, it can make you feel alive even at the onset of bowel-knotting terror. "Enjoy being a king without subjects, the closest you'll ever get to ruling the world."

That got me the reaction I was hoping for. Let me give you a piece of advice, if you are ever in a position where you are completely in somebody else's power, and that somebody has reason to deal with you in a permanent fashion, you'd better hope it's a bad man. Because he'll want you to squirm, to know you're in his power. A good man will either try to redeem you, but only if he's really, really good, or just kill you and get on with things. And if you're smart, you can play that to your favour.

Every moment counts. So if a bad man does have you in a position where he can end you in any moment, your best bet is to provoke them. If you don't, they're just as likely to want to get on with things, and you'll only live if they have a reason to keep you that way. Which, unfortunately, he does. Darkseid has black magic, science, and all sorts of ways to get into your head. If he got me in his power I'm sure he could make me do anything he wanted. I didn't want him to think about that. I didn't want him to think about how useful I could be. I wanted him mad. A God of tyranny? Too easy.

For a moment his eyes flared, and I worried I'd overplayed my hand, then he stepped forward and let go of the chain, releasing Etrigan, and I almost sighed in relief. I didn't, because the situation was only slightly better, but I take the hand I'm dealt. The demon crossed the distance in two bounds, then leapt at me, claws extended, fanged mouth wide and slavering, eyes alight with malevolence. It probably hadn't eaten in years, it's minds probably breaking under the strain.

But a few seconds is a long time if you've got your answer worked out. It gave me seconds to act. I grabbed a handful of salt from my pocket and flung it in into the demon's wide face, then threw myself aside, grateful that Suzie was forcing me to work out again.

Salt's an attack so simple that most defences don't even consider it. It's also a way of making an instant threshold when dealing with extra-dimensional beasties, and it rusts complex machinery, like nobodies business. Plus, it hurts when it gets in your eyes. Unfortunately, Etrigan didn't even notice. The Demon regularly shrugged off heavy arms fire, condiments were beneath it's notice. It's talon ripped into the meat of my back like a knife through wet paper, and I felt a terrible coldness. Nevermind, all part of the plan.

I lept to my feet and began running, the demon in close pursuit. It was faster then me, but not all that agile, so I ducked and weaved and got cut up some more, and incidentally got the hell away from Darkseid, who seemed content to watch. It was a fine line I had to walk. If I made it seem to easy, he'd call back his demon and sort it out himself. If the demon actually started to win (a not entirely unlikely proposition, let me tell you) he'd come get me and start putting me to work.

Finally, I judged us far enough away, and threw down a handful of chaos dice, their random magical effects all bursting out at once in an explosion of brightly colored lights, smoke, bangs and whistles, even a geyser of steam below us, that burned my skin unpleasantly, but hid us both from view. Just what I needed.

The demon laughed, and a torrent of Hellfire streamed out, missing me by inches, the demons glowing red eyes appearing in the confusion. It could still see me. And I could see it through the eyes of my gift. I knew what bound it to the world, now. And I knew how to take it away.

"Begone, begone, O Etrigan!" I said, the words tripping over each other in their haste to get out. "Arise once more the form of man!"

He shrieked in frustration and collapsed, curling in to himself and shaking all over, before a tall, thin man with red hair emerged where the squat demon had stood a moment before. Small victories. That's all we can count on. He remained crouched, shaking in pain, eyes tightly closed, and it occurred to me there's probably a reason why he stopped being human altogether. The insects wouldn't lay eggs in a demon, but a living man is open season. If I had time, I'd kill him, but I didn't. He'd have to endure.

I fumbled in my pocket for the instrumentalities, arranging them quickly and at random, trying to force them to slot together through sheer force of will. They could take me anywhere. There were places far worse then this. But if I didn't get away, it was all redundant anyway.

"Well played." Came Darkseid's booming voice from behind me, and I started to turn, but I was too slow. Much too slow. A fist like a wrecking ball caught me in the midsection, lifting me off my feet and sending me flying across the road to impact against the wall like rotten fruit. I nearly splattered. My insides certainly felt like it. "But it will do you no good."And everything seemed to be going so well…

I smashed into the wall of what had once been an apartment complex, the doorway behind me ajar. The entire building seemed to shake, though I knew that it wasn't. It was just me, my entire body reduced to something only barely functional. He made his way slowly over towards me as I tried to get my bearings and figure out what to do next. Everything seemed to have sped up, if he wasn't taking his time he'd have killed me before I'd even realized he was moving. Then again, it was to be expected. Darkseid never ran anywhere, that was for lesser mortals. I tossed a salamander egg at him. He didn't even seem to notice. He didn't even lose a step.

I was just lucky he still wanted me alive, or that, ladies and gentleman, would be the end of our hero. Fortunately, he still wnated what was in my head. So I did the only thing I had left. I crawled towards the doorway. He didn't try to stop me. Because he didn't know what I was doing. But I had a way out. You see, getting into Nightside is easy. All you need is a door, any door you can find, and the belief that the door will lead to Nightside. And as long as you keep that fixed in your mind, it will.

Getting to Nightside is easy. Getting out is another matter entirely, and surviving once you are there… well that's the trick, isn't it? I crawled through the door and landed face down in the alley, kicking the door closed, and hoping he wouldn't follow. After a minute, I let myself relax and breathe again.
Some small time imps were here on holiday. I gave them my most fearsome scowl, and narrowed my eyes. "Werewolf blood. Now."

And what do you know, they went and did as I said. John Taylor's a name to be feared.
I closed my eyes and let myself fall unconscious. Nobody would try anything. They knew me here, knew who I stood for and who I worked with, and I was not a man to be messed with.

Later, I was in my apartment with Suzie, who was cooking. Normally she wouldn't be caught dead doing anything so feminine, but I got a pass thanks to internal bleeding and thirty stitches. Neither of us were talking, but we needed to, once I was done thinking. I finally had an idea what I was being shown. And I didn't like it.

"We're in something big. It's taken me a while, but it's beginning to dawn on me just how big. It killed Hadleigh Oblivion, and he understood more about all this then me. It's destroyed worlds already, and I don't think it's going to stop. I joined the Order, because someone's got to do something about it. But as I am now, it's more then I can deal with."

"So what, you want me to teach you how to fight?" She said. She wasn't joking, she was dealing with things the only way she knew how, promising immediate violence.

"Yes. But first…" I sighed. I thought of what I could learn, and how I could wind up Sigismund, and decided I didn't have a choice. "I'm going back to school."