Sanji/Law, Sanji tries to repel a horny law by sticking bread to his naked body – myladyday
Sanji had had enough of Law, he wasn't a sex toy for the other man's whims, he had feelings too. This plan would work though, it guaranteed the horny doctor would leave him alone, and he put it into action as he heard the footsteps approaching the galley. He arranged himself to be perfectly in view of the door when it opened.
Law opened the galley door, a self satisfied smile on his face until he spied Sanji spread out on the kitchen table, covered head to toe in bread…he turned around and walked out the way he came.
Sanji/Brook: perverts discussing panties – bipalium
"See?" Sanji held up a scant bit of fabric. "They can be see-through, or silky, some have lace, and some have barely any material to them at all!"
"Oh my!" Brook exclaimed, his jaw dropping in awe. "In my day they were nothing but very simple cotton affairs!"
"What the hell are you perverts doing!?" Was the last thing either of them heard before they were knocked unconscious.
Zoro/Perona she's being annoying as fuck *I'm sorry about the asks. (not sorry at all)* - myladyday
"You're being grumpy, I don't like it when you're grumpy, it's not like you have any reason to be so unhappy all the time," Perona complained, pouting at Zoro.
She hadn't shut up once in the last hour, and Zoro was at the end of his sanity rope, so he did the only thing he could think to end his misery; he unsheathed a sword and swung it through Perona's body in one clean slice.
Unfortunately, the blade passed right through her ghostly body, leaving her completely unharmed, and Zoro had to endure another hours worth of outraged complaints about his attempted murder.
SanUso: Usopp is going to marry Kaya and Sanji is frustrated. – bipalium
As his best friend, Usopp had expected Sanji to be thrilled for him after hearing about his grand marriage proposal to Kaya that morning, but the smile had fallen off of Sanji's face after the first sentence, and the longer Usopp's tale went on, the more aggravated Sanji seemed to become.
"Sanji?" He asked, gently prodding his friend in hopes of a response. "Will you be my best man?"
That certainly got Sanji's attention, and he looked up at Usopp with hurt plain and clear in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Usopp," He swallowed thickly, holding back the uprising words that he desperately needed to vomit out but no longer could. "I can't," He managed before excusing himself from the diner.
SanUso: Usopp The Stripper! (that's gonna be fun) – bipalium
If Zoro ever found out Sanji regularly visited a strip club, even worse, a strip club where the dancers were men, he'd never live it down.
The lights in the club dimmed, and the spotlights illuminated the stage, centering on a very clumsy and squeamish looking young man with a long nose and a mop of unruly hair, who possessed all the grace and allure of a new born giraffe.
But then, Zoro didn't get to take a cutie like this home every night.
Zoro/Shanks, trying to catch a chicken (one of them has only one eye, the other only one hand) – myladyday
"Your depth perception is terrible," Shanks commented, watching as Zoro's hands missed their target by a large margin.
"Shut up," Zoro frowned, herding the chicken carefully towards Shanks…who then failed to capture it with only one arm. "At least I'm not a cripple."
Zoro grabbed for the chicken at the same time, a near miss, as Shanks charged in from his blindside, failing again at a one armed capture and landing himself and Zoro in a heap of tangled limbs.
